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Knowing Noah

by c m

Chapter 1


I'd met him a couple of weeks earlier. We'd both turned up to rehearsals for Macbeth, which was being put on by the University Shakespeare Society. We arrived at the venue together, and went through the pantomime of each insisting the other went through the door first. And then he smiled at me. And I was captivated. We ended up sitting beside each other as we each waited for our turn to do our audition. He opened the conversation and we were soon talking like old friends. It turned out that he was studying English, but had been involved in lots of drama at school. I discovered that he was a keen rugby player which, given his build and obvious fitness, was no real surprise. He also turned out to be utterly charming and witty. Then, after maybe ten minutes, his name was called and he went up on stage. His audition was very impressive, and I shook his hand when he came back down to me. I didn't have the opportunity to say any more than 'well done' before my name was called and up I went.

Some days things go well and some days they don't. That day they didn't, and I knew I'd blown the audition. It happens. I went to gather my things and, to my surprise, but undeniable pleasure, found that Noah was still there.

'Oh, hi Noah...nice of you to wait. Sorry I didn't give you something better to watch.'

He smiles at me. I go all gooey inside.

' did OK.'

I smile ruefully.

'You're very kind, but it was awful...and you know it.'

'Yeah...OK then, it wasn't that great.'

We look at each other and burst into laughter.

'How about I buy you a drink to ease the pain?' he says.

'Sure, thanks...I'd like that.'

We head across the road to the Rising Sun, a fairly traditional English pub.

'What'd you like?'

'Pint please. '

A minute or so later, Noah's back, carrying two glasses of foam-topped bitter. He sits beside me and we clink glasses. The beer is cool and malty and refreshing.

'So, what part are you hoping to get?' I ask

'Oh, I'd be happy with anything. Honestly.'

And I believe him. There's something about him. A gut feeling that tells me he is honest and gives straight answers. I like that.

'So, tell me all about you, Noah.'

He smiles again and looks me right in the eyes. My stomach lurches. He really is very sexy.

'Well, I'm Noah Diouf. I'm first generation English, but my parents were both born in Senegal. They both moved over here with their parents – my grandparents - when they were seven in the case of my father and five in the case of my mother. They met soon after they both arrived, and married almost twenty-five years ago. I went to a traditional English public school. I have one brother and two sisters. As well as playing rugby and acting, I like to play bridge and go swimming. But not at the same time.'

Another grin.

'My favourite colour is green – like your eyes,'

He says this with a smile, before continuing:

'I'm a Gemini. I don't like tattoos or piercings. I love chicken Kiev. I prefer red wine to white, and chocolate ice cream to vanilla. I like reading historical fiction and modern poetry. I hate people who pretend to be something they're not. I have no interest in politics. I like comfortable sweaters and proper shoes. I believe in God but I'm not religious. I love to walk along beaches barefoot and feel the sand between my toes. I sleep naked. Oh yes...and I'm gay. Does that cover it?'

There's the trace of a smile dancing round his lips and his eyebrows are a fraction raised – as if in mild challenge.

'Very comprehensive,' I say.

'And what about you?' he asks.

'I'm Ollie Peters. I also went to public school. I'm an only child. I like to play tennis. I love eating Italian food, including proper Italian chocolate ice cream,'

He gives a half-laugh.

'I like to play poker and do crosswords. My musical tastes run to just about anything. I like comfortable shoes and open fires. I like taking long walks and going skinny-dipping. I like to walk along beaches too – but it's better to walk in the edge of the water and feel the sand being sucked away between your toes.'

I grin – and he smiles and nods.

'I have a taste for gin and tonic. But the jury's out on God.'

I pause. And then something inside me suddenly makes me add,

'I don't have any tattoos or piercings. And I'm a virgin. Does that make us even?'

I see his eyes widen slightly.

'I don't know if it makes us even, but it certainly seems like we have some things in common. Enough to make me want to know you better, Ollie Peters. Quite a lot better, actually.'

My heart does a flip.

'Good. I feel the same. Another beer?'

'Umm...oh, yes...thank you.'

I get up and head to the bar. I think I know what he really wants to ask, but I feel like being a bit of a tease. I return with the glasses refilled.

'So,' he says, 'do you have a steady girlfriend?'

I shake my head, and say:

'No; do you have a steady boyfriend?'

He laughs.

'No...not even an unsteady one.'

It's my turn to laugh.

'Are you looking for one?' he asks.

' you want to fix me up with one of your sisters?' I say.

He almost chokes on his beer.

'Oh man, if you knew them, trust me you wouldn't want me to. Unless you're into 15 and 16 year olds.'

'Ah. No. No way.'

'How about older girls? Are you into them?'

The moment of truth.

I see the sparkle in his eyes, and the smile on his lips. He wants to know – and he's not afraid to ask. I like that. And I trust him. Which is odd, because I have big trust issues normally.


'If you're OK with that.'

'The truth, Noah, is that I really don't know. I do know I can feel attracted to both boys and girls. And, if we're telling the truth, probably more to boys than girls. I told you I'm a virgin – and I am. Other than the usual fooling about with a friend, I've not gone any further than that with anyone – boy or girl.'

'OK...thank you, Ollie.' He pauses. 'The usual fooling about?'

'C'mon…you're a public schoolboy…you know what I mean.'

He smiles. 'Yeah…I guess I do.' He pause again. 'But you truly don't know if you're gay, straight or somewhere in-between?'

'That's the truth, Noah.'

He smiles again. God, he's sexy.

'So... if I were to put my leg against yours – like this,'

He lets his leg fall sideways against mine. It's electric. I can't pretend otherwise. And I'm sure he knows it.

'...would you move yours away?'

I smile back at him, and, by way of response, press my leg more firmly against his.

His enigmatic smile turns into a fully-fledged grin.

'I like you, Ollie Peters. I like you very much. Not because you're cute – though you are - but because you're honest. I like that more than anything else in someone.'

'Then let me be totally honest, Noah. I like you too. A lot – for someone I've only known for an hour or so. But the fact I like the feel of your leg against mine shouldn't be taken as the prelude to something more. Well, not necessarily, anyway.'

I smile at him and he smiles back,

'And that's not because you're not good-looking – you most certainly are – but because I neither know myself well enough yet, nor do I know you well enough either.'

His grin becomes even broader.

'Well said, Ollie. And you're right. And I now like you even more. I have your permission to let me get to know you better?'

'I'd like that, Noah.'

We clink glasses.

'Now, Ollie, I have to run. Hope to see you again soon. This is the address of my room, and my email.'

He passes me a piece of paper.

'You'd be very welcome any time.'

I tear off the bottom of the piece of paper and put my rooms details and email addy on it. I hand it back to him.

'Same here, Noah. I hope I'll see you again very soon.'

'Oh, I think that's a pretty safe bet,' he says.

He puts his hand on my knee and gives it a squeeze, before getting up and heading off. At the door, he turns round and gives me a little wave. Just a quick flick of a hand. But my heart leaps.

And little voice in my head asks who the hell I think I'm kidding if I say I'm not sure about my sexuality.

As if to make the point, I spend the next three days thinking of little else but Noah. I also get a polite rejection from the Shakespeare society. I wonder whether Noah has got a part. I've been tempted to email him several times, but I don't want to appear too keen. To hell with that. I decide that I'll email him later that day and ask.

But I don't have to.

I'm sitting at my desk trying to write an essay when there's a knock on the door.

'Come in,' I say, without looking up.

'Hey, nice room.'

That voice. I know it at once. It's him. I swing round in my chair and I can't keep the smile off my face.

'HEYYYY! Noah! Wow, welcome to my humble abode. What brings you here?'

'Well, I guess I kept hoping you'd email me, but....well...if Mohammed won't come to the mountain...'

I get up and take a step towards him. He holds out his arms and we embrace. God he smells nice.

'I'm so pleased to see you. I was going to email you to find out what part you got in Macbeth.'

I see a cloud flit briefly across his face.

'I didn't get a part.'

My mouth, quite literally, drops open.

'WHAT?? Are you serious?'

He nods.

'I guess I just wasn't good enough.'

'Are you mad? You were outstanding. You must know you were. This is extraordinary.'

'It happens .You know...'

He sighs, and then looks me straight in the eye.

'It's still hard for black guys to get roles in plays like that. I thought it might be different here at Uni, but apparently not.'

'But that's wrong, Noah – so wrong.'

I can't help but put my arms round his shoulders and give him a hug. I feel him tense slightly, and then relax as he hugs me back.

'Thanks, Ollie. But you get used to it.'

'Umm...can I get you a coffee?'

'That would be nice.'

There's a two-seater sofa in one corner of the room. I point him towards it, and then go over to the little table in the opposite corner where I keep my kettle.

'How do you like it?'

'Dash of milk, no sugar.'

I smile inwardly. That's how I take it too. A minute or so later I have two mugs of steaming coffee in my hands. I take them over to the sofa and sit down beside him. He takes the mug with an appreciative nod.

'I hope I didn't interrupt you in the middle of something important.'

'Oh no – just trying to write the weekly essay. Nice to have a break actually. And really nice to see you again.'

He smiles.

'It's lovely to see you again too. I was worried you might be out.'

'You could have emailed.'

'Yup, I guess I could. But....'

He doesn't have to say – because he's done what I would do; just turn up and hope.

I really can't remember what we talked about. Anything and everything. The time just flew. I do, however, remember our legs ending up pressed against one another again – but then it's a small sofa. Eventually he looked at his watch and got up.

'I must apologise, Ollie. I only intended to pop in for a few minutes to say hi and to see where you live. I've stopped you from doing your work – forgive me.'

'Nothing to forgive, Noah. It's been a pleasure – honestly. It's so good to see you.'

'You too. Next time you must come and see me. Or maybe we can go and take in a film. I'll email – or call if you'll give me your mobile number.'


We exchange mobile numbers, and then I get up and we hug each other. For longer than is strictly necessary, but God it feels good.

'See you soon, Ollie.'

'Yes...very soon Noah. Take care.'

And with that he's gone.

I go back to my essay, but all I can think about is the feel of him in my arms. And the smell of his cologne. And the pressure of his body against mine as we embraced. The essay will just have to wait. Right now I have an appointment with my right hand and some tissues.

It's another week before I screw up the courage to return his visit and go and see where he lives. I could call him - but I decide not to. I tell myself he'd enjoy the surprise more. Deep down inside I know I'm afraid that if I call he might say he's busy or tell me not to come.

It's about a fifteen minute walk to the block of rooms where he lives. Number 27, his room, is on the first floor. I walk up the stairs, past three identical doors and there it is. Number 27. His name is on a little brass plate. Noah Diouf. I knock.

'Come on in,' says a voice from inside. His voice.

I open the door and it's almost a mirror image of the time he came to visit me. He's sitting at his desk, writing. He swivels the chair to face me, and, as he recognises who it is, his face creases into a huge smile. He stands up.

'OLLIE!! How lovely. Do come in.'

'Don't let me interrupt you.'

'You're not. Well, you are, but I'd much rather talk to you than do this.'

'What are you doing?'

'Some research on the topic I've got to write a dissertation on next year. It's all very dull.'

I walk over to him and we have a quick hug. He sits back down and I lean over his shoulder to see what he's been researching. He moves the chair sideways so that I can see better. It means that I am right beside him. I can feel the heat from his body.

'It's really not very interesting. Not as interesting as you anyway.'

I hear the catch in his voice and look down. Our eyes meet. Then he puts an arm around my waist and pulls me to him. I end up sitting on his lap, facing him. My heart is thumping. His face moves closer to mine. I lean forwards until our noses are almost touching.

'May I kiss you, Ollie?'

I nod and then his lips are touching mine. Soft and gentle. I close my eyes. This is heaven. I feel his tongue flick briefly but insistently against my lips, demanding admission. I cannot refuse. I don't want to refuse. Then he's exploring every recess of my mouth. My first kiss with another boy. His tongue tastes sweet and I respond instinctively, putting my arms round his neck and pulling us closer together.

We kiss for maybe five minutes. Maybe more. Time becomes elastic when you're in a different dimension. Eventually we break the lock, and just sit there looking into each other's eyes.

'I hope I haven't pushed things too far, Ollie. '

I shake my head.

'Oh no, Noah. That was...amazing. Even better than in my dreams.'

'You've been dreaming about kissing me?'

That half-smile is on his lips again. I smile back.

'Mmhmm. And...other stuff too....'

'Tell me more, Ollie.'

I look into his eyes. I decide to tease him.


He raises his eyebrows just a fraction, then nods.

'Okaaay…well, I've certainly been dreaming about doing a whole lot more than just kissing you.'

I can't resist.

'Tell me more, Noah.'

He grins.

'OK...if you insist. It starts with me running my hands over...certain bits of you, like this.'

He places a hand between my legs, pressing against the all too obvious lump that is straining against the material of my jeans.

He looks at me to see if he's gone too far. I find it hard to describe my feelings. I am excited but nervous. This isn't fooling around with a wank-buddy at school. Do this, and I know that I'll have stepped over a line. There'll be no going back. Decision time. I let my breath out and smile.

'And then what?' I say.

'And then it kind of...just goes from there...'

'Sounds...interesting. You could demonstrate if you like.'

He looks at me.

'Are you sure, Ollie? We don't have to rush this. I really like you...a lot. I don't want to spoil things by...going too fast.'

He couldn't have said anything nicer, kinder or more designed to make me fall even harder for him.

'I'm sure, Noah.' I pause. 'Look, whatever I said to you, I'm pretty certain I'm gay - and there's no-one I'd rather discover what that means with than you.'

'OK. If you're sure. But you tell me if you want me to stop or if there's anything you don't want to do, OK?'




'Cool. Or, actually, hot.' He smiles. 'This is amazing.' He shakes his head. 'You know, Ollie, I've just… felt a connection with you right from that first time we met.'

'Me too, Noah. Now me some more of what you dream about.'

He smiles and then lifts me up off his lap. He undoes my jeans and pushes them, along with my briefs, to the floor. My erection is jutting out from my body. He takes it in one hand and gently strokes it.

'Very nice, Ollie. Very nice indeed.'

He then lifts me up under the armpits and sits me on the desk, facing him.

'One of the things I dream about is this, Ollie.'

He lowers his head to my groin and takes me in his mouth. I have never experienced anything like it. It takes less than a minute before I can feel myself staring to boil inside. I'm about to tell him, when he releases me just long enough to say,

'Just come whenever you're ready Ollie, I want to taste you.'

And then he's back working his magic with his tongue and mouth. I am past the point of controlling anything anymore, and I explode in his mouth, the force of it making me bend forward almost double, my hands around his head, pulling myself as deep as I can go inside him. I think he's surprised by the volume of what flows out of me. I hear him half-choke as he swallows once, twice, three times, and then he's licking the last drops from me before he releases me and comes back up for air.

'Was that OK, Ollie?'

'It was...magical.'

I look into those dreamy eyes of his.

'May I...that is...would you like me the same for you?'

'If you're sure you want to.'

'I'd like to try.'

He pushes the chair back from the desk, and I ease myself off it and down onto the floor on my knees between his legs. I can see a bulge - a huge-looking bulge - in his trousers. I put a hand against it. It's solid as a rock. I unbuckle his belt and unzip his fly. He stands up so that I can pull his trousers and underwear down. His erection comes into full view. It's truly impressive as it seems to unfold towards me. He's a lot bigger than me. It takes me a moment or two to realise that he's shaved off all his pubic hair. That makes him seem even bigger.

I wrap a hand round the shaft. It's steely-hard yet silky-soft and warm. I put a hand under his balls and gently roll them in my hand. Noah sighs. I ease back the skin and take the dark-coloured head in my mouth. I slide my lips down as far as I can; I manage to get about half of it inside me.

'Just take it gently, Ollie. It feels wonderful.'

I try to do what he did to me. I love the feel of him in my mouth. I work him gently. Suddenly I feel his balls tighten. I don't know whether to release him or let him come in my mouth. Then I'm suddenly sure that I want to taste him just like he wanted to taste me. Seconds later his cock starts to kick and buck. He groans and then my mouth is flooded with his seed. I swallow as best I can as he empties himself into me.

'Oh my god, Ollie, oh my...'

I hear the words as his fingers entwine themselves more tightly in my hair, pulling me into him. And then it's over. I release him from my mouth. He's still almost fully-hard - and I feel myself thickening again in response. I stand up and Noah pulls our two near-erections against one another.

I sigh.

'You make me look inadequate, Noah.'

He smiles.

'That is one thing you most certainly are not, Ollie. You are perfect. In every way.'

He looks up at me.

'Shall we go and lie down? I think we'd both be more comfortable - and it looks as though we're both, umm...up for a second round - if you'd like to.'

By way of answer I kick the clothes off from round my ankles and slip my shirt off over my head. I have no idea what's come over me. I don't do this sort of thing. I'm shy and retiring. And yet I appear to have done it. It must be him. Some power he's using on me. It should be scary, but it's not. It's bizarrely exhilarating. Either way, the command and control part of my brain gives up with a final whimper. I stand there, naked, in front of him. He reaches out and runs one finger down the length of my body from neck to groin.

'You're beautiful, Ollie. Come on.'

He takes me by the hand and leads me to his bed. There, he strips off the rest of his clothes and we lie down beside each other. His body is firm and smooth. This time he runs his whole hand over my chest and down into my groin. Then back behind my balls until he finds my hole. He rubs a finger across it. It sends a thrill through my body. He rolls onto his back and pulls me on top of him. I lower my head and put my lips against his. We kiss. He wraps his arms round me and then runs them over my back and down over my buttocks. He slides a finger back between my cheeks and fingers my pucker again.

I know what he wants.

'Ollie,' he says gently, 'would you let me fuck you?'

I really don't know if I'm ready for this yet. And, wonderful boy that he is, he senses my hesitation and immediately recognises it for what it is.

''s too soon, isn't it? That's fine, Ollie. I said we didn't need to rush things and here's me, rushing you. Forgive me.'

He is so lovely.

'Thanks, Noah. I'm sure it will be wonderful to have you inside me, but...would you mind if we didn't do it quite yet?

'Of course not, Ollie. '

He kisses me. Then I see him smile.

'But perhaps you'd like to do it to me?'

I can't pretend I haven't thought about that. And the idea makes my cock twitch. But it doesn't seem fair to make him wait for me and not to do the same for him.

'I think I'd like it best if we could both take that step together, Noah.'

He gives me a little hug.

'Perfect, Ollie. It's a deal,' he says.

I roll off him.

'But in that case we find something else to do with these,' He says, rubbing himself gently against me.

'I'm sure you'll think of something,' I say.

'I think I know just the thing,' he says, with a grin.

He flips himself around until his head is in my groin and his cock is virtually brushing against my lips. We take each other in our mouths and bring each other to another electrifying climax. Afterwards we just lie there, kissing and cuddling and holding each other. To my surprise, he gets hard again; it seems a shame to waste it, so I take my time stroking him to a third, much slower, orgasm. He ruffles my hair.

'You're definitely very talented Ollie.'

'I hate to see something so impressive go to waste. How come you seem to stay permanently hard?'

'Don't know Ollie....maybe it's just the effect you have on me.'

I smile, and he kisses me. I look at my watch.

'I hate to say it, Noah, but I need to go.'

He pouts. It's charming.

'No fair.' He sighs. 'This has been a wonderful afternoon, Ollie. Thank you so much.'

'It's been wonderful for me too. Noah. But I really do need to get back. Tutorial in about an hour.'

'I understand.'

Reluctantly, I get up and collect my clothes off the floor. I dress slowly. Noah watches me, still lying there naked on the bed. Fully-clothed, I cross over to the bed and lean down and kiss him.

'When will I see you again, Ollie?'

'Fancy taking in a film this weekend?'

'Sure. Why not? Anything in mind?'

'People keep telling me La La Land is worth a look.'

'OK...sounds good. Meet up for a drink in the bar opposite beforehand?'

'Great. I'll check the timings and message you.'

He slips his hands down my back and we embrace. I slip a hand into his groin and give him a squeeze.

'Mmmm...are you sure you can't stay?'

'I wish I could. See you Saturday. Or drop in anytime.'

' 'K Ollie. Take care.'

'Bye Noah.'

I let myself out and walk out and down the stairs. I feel like I'm floating on air.

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