We got to bed very late. I crawled in with David and we lay there, each sort of wondering whether sex or sleep would win out. Suddenly David was wide awake, rolled over and looked straight at me, saying, "I want to fuck you! Tonight is the night. We have been holding back for something, and I think tonight was it. Being out goes a long way toward making me a complete man, but I think I need to fuck and be fucked."
A whole jumble of thoughts was running through my mind: At this hour? Great! Did we have any KY? I am not sure I am up for this. Am I ready to fuck David? My response, however, grew out of our unspoken rule, We don't say no to each other, "Do your thing."
His thing was to roll me on my back, put my feet up over his shoulders and start massaging my anus. Using plenty of KY he soon had a finger inside and started the second. I didn't like the feel of the second finger, and I told him, "Use your dick, not your fingers."
I was quite relaxed and it slipped in without too much difficulty. All the warnings that it was going to hurt were wrong. He eased in and out, and started to rub my penis. I pushed his hand away saying, "I want to come later, inside you." He came fairly quickly, and soon he was out and we were side by side hugging and kissing. David said, "Thank you, Charlie, I love you."
"I love you too, David. And I think I want to fuck you now."
"I want you to."
We reversed roles. David preferred me to do more with my fingers to get him ready, but otherwise it was a carbon copy. He was equally surprised at the lack of pain. We put it down to patience and love.
As we lay in bed afterward, we had mixed emotions about fucking each other. We weren't sure it really was the ultimate experience, how much we enjoyed it compared to other things, and.... The conversation was soon stopped by both of us falling into contented sleep.
It took an alarm to get us up in time to meet at the hotel for breakfast. The three girls and Fred were waiting for us in the dining room. Our conversation picked up from the evening before, but drifted on to how accepted we thought we would be. At this point we could only speculate. Then a waitress across the room recognized us and came over. "Great. It is Charlie and David the singing lovers! I was there last night and you need to know that everybody near me was in your corner. You were wonderful. I was too far back to get on the stage to kiss you last night-like everybody was trying to do-so I will right now." And she did.
Mary Rose said, "I don't think you need to worry. Now let's talk about this morning. You know I don't mince words. Are you guys exclusive with each other, or are you still into messing around?"
Leave it to Mary Rose not to beat around the bush. "Mary Rose, is this some kind of an invitation? If you would be less enigmatic, I am sure that David and I would accept."
"The three of us find that there is a little bi-sexual in us all, and we enjoy exploring it. Fred, of course, doesn't get the chance with only girls in the group, and we have convinced him that he should give it a try. We need your dicks."
"They are available," said David, with a wild grin on his face. "I am hard already."
Fred said, "In any company but Mary Rose and her friends' I would be shocked by the language here, but I am used to Mary Rose. It has been quite a ride dating her."
"I'll bet it has," said David. And I thought the same thing.
Now we understood the reference to check out time. We went up to the room, having about two hours before we had to be out. Karen started things off immediately, "Lose your clothes. Boys on that bed, girls on this one. We want to watch you give Fred some lessons. Don't spare him."
Fred was game. They had obviously talked about this in advance. He seemed comfortable naked in front of the girls, and was ready for whatever we had in mind. I said, "Look, Fred, we could do all kinds of things to you and you would come quickly. Then you wouldn't be that much in the mood to do us. So I am going to help you with David, and then David is going to help you with me. Then the two of us are going to give you the time of your life."
"Fucking me is the time of his life," put in Mary Rose, "and that had better not change. He can enjoy himself this morning, but if he likes you guys better than me, you are all dead meat."
I think she meant it.
Fred and I did a hand job on David, and I insisted that he taste David's cum. He really wasn't into that and only touched a wet finger to his tongue. David said, "Good," scooped up the rest and ate it, much to Fred's shock.
David then guided him into sucking me. Fred wasn't sure he wanted me to cum in his mouth, so I told him I would warn him and David would take over. Mary Rose was standing behind Fred, shaking her head "No," when I said I would warn him. That certainly left me conflicted, did I honor Fred's wish or Mary Rose's?
I decided that Fred was the one with his teeth around my dick! Just before I came I said, "Now," but Fred changed his mind and let me come. He looked like he was about to gag, when David grabbed him and kissed him, sucking all the cum out.
Fred was almost in a state of shock from both the cum in his mouth and David's kiss. He managed to say, "I think I am more straight than gay. Mary Rose, you have no worries."
Mary Rose said, "Charlie, you didn't do what I said, but I love you for it."
We all kissed all around. Then David and I took turns on Fred, sucking, licking, handling, you name it. He tolerated us more than anything, but soon came, reaffirming his heterosexuality, but thanking us for our efforts!
We then put each girl on the bed in succession and five-on-one we set off their skyrockets. It was quite a morning. We had lunch together, everyone kissed everyone goodbye, David and I making sure that Fred got two doses of very deep, very masculine, kisses that he would remember for a long time. Each of the girls reached inside our pants and fondled us quite robustly as we kissed. It was quite a send-off.
As they got into Mary Rose's car, I said to her, "Invite us to your wedding. We'll come if we can share the bed on your wedding night!"
Mary Rose's parting shot was to lift her middle finger and poke my fly with it.
In the weeks that followed, we heard muttered comments on the campus, but the overwhelming sentiment was supportive. Comments generally were, "God, I'd never have had the guts to do that." "It's not my bag, but you're OK with me." "I wish I were that brave"-usually said very quietly and privately. Several gay guys did approach us and ask if they could talk. We ended up having a lot of pretty heavy conversations with some very frustrated gays and a couple of lesbians. While they admired our bravery, most were not yet ready to come out. Part of the reason, I think, was that we had done it so spectacularly that others did not know how to follow. Just telling a few people led to all of the problems we had feared. We didn't have easy answers for folks. But, with permission, we were able to introduce quite a few closeted gays to each other, and for that they were grateful. Who knows, maybe we were unknowing Cupids?
David's time at Northwestern was coming to an end. He would graduate in June, while I had another year. I knew he wanted to go to CalTech or MIT, and it was virtually certain he could get in-he had a straight A average in the era before grade inflation, taking a huge load, with really tough courses. I said that I would transfer to some place like Boston University and we could live together. No deal. He insisted that I finish at Northwestern. The only place he applied was to the Master's program in physics at the Illinois Institute of Technology in Chicago-not even close to the same league as MIT. Nothing I could say or do would get him to apply anywhere else. IIT almost drooled over accepting him, and that was settled-at least for him. I was very uncomfortable, but I couldn't help but feel loved.
We got an apartment about midway between Northwestern and IIT, so we could both commute easily. And thus began a very blissful year. Our homelife was eat, sex, study, sex, sleep. School was exciting, even for David. I think he pushed his professors harder than they had ever been pushed, and actually did some meaningful original research during the year. It was all beyond me. Under David's stern eye, my grades continued to be A's. Since we were no longer living on campus, the number of visitors to our room/apartment substantially decreased. But our good friends came and were always treated to a good meal-well at least better than dorm food.
Mike and Peter had our old room. They pulled some strings to get it, saying that they were continuing a tradition of the room being welcoming to gays. However, there was one serious change. Mike and Peter were ready to make a real commitment to each other, and they had decided that that meant that their sex life was limited to each other. They set a commitment date, like a marriage date, and invited their close friends to which they were out. We offered our apartment for the celebration, with food to follow. They insisted on coming over the night before. Mike announced after dinner, "Peter and I will make a formal commitment to each other tomorrow. Part of the commitment will be that we will only have sex with each other. No exceptions. But that is tomorrow. Tonight we would like to have a farewell encounter with our two closest friends, who introduced us, encouraged us, and whom we love almost as much as each other.
David stood up at the table, unbuckled his belt, and said "Let's go!"
We all followed him to our bed, now a queen, thank goodness. Clothes flew, Peter was attacked first, by six hands and three mouths. David was careful, however, and saw to it that Peter came in his mouth. The cum was not shared! I, and then Mike, were dealt with in turn. David always ended up with the cum in his mouth. Then it was his turn. We decided to torment him by bringing him as slowly as possible. Finally, we heeded his pleas and let him cum. We held him down and scooped his cum up from his chest with a spoon and fed it to him! It never ceased to amaze us that he really, truly liked to eat the stuff, and never seemed to be able to get enough!
The next morning we all had another round. It was both a happy and sad occasion. We all truly loved each other, and we were going to miss the sex-though the friendships would surely remain. But we respected Peter and Mike's decision and never urged them to change their minds. We are, to this day, close friends. And as far as I know, neither Peter nor Mike has had sex with anyone else in the more than forty years that have passed since that morning.
Needless to say, Mike and Peter's understanding of their commitment to each other made David and me think about the meaning of our commitment. Late one night, after we both had had a wonderful time in each others arms and body, we reached a conclusion. We decided that we simply enjoyed sex too much to limit ourselves. Doing it with other close friends was simply not something we were prepared to give up. We decided that commitment meant, for us, "no secrets," but not "no sex." We haven't changed our minds. And we can both honestly say that we have never had sex with another person that our partner did not know about-in advance. No spur of the moment affairs and make it right by telling the partner after the fact.
And so the Chicago phase of our lives came to an end, with a number of issues that had bother us settled: We were out in a big way! We were committed to each other without reservation. Our sex was not exclusive to each other. But we had not yet made a formal, public commitment to each other as had Mike and Peter.
That fall, 1963, found us with a B.A. from Northwestern (me) and a M.S. from IIT (David), admission to MIT (David) and Boston University Law School (me). And a wonderful, huge, one room loft apartment near downtown Boston. We could sit at the dinner table and contemplate the bed (now king size) and all the wonderful things that might happen on it. A few of our friends had moved to the Boston area as well-including Mike and Peter, and Sue. Sue soon found a wonderful guy and was engaged before long to Henry, consistently called Hen-God knows how he stood it, but he always introduced himself that way.
Sue and Hen were in the loft for dinner one night. Sue was facing the bed as she ate at the table. She commented, "I can just imagine all of the wonderful things that you two must have done on that bed."
Well, I knew Sue wasn't exactly inhibited, but that was a little much, especially when we didn't know Hen very well. Then Hen picked it up, "What, exactly, do you do on that bed?"
It could have been a very offensive question. But we knew that Hen had no problems with our sexuality, and certainly Sue didn't. He seemed to be genuinely curious. Sue piped right up with, "Maybe they would show us!"
"Sue!" shouted David.
Hen just smiled, like he had known the suggestion was coming. Sue was ready. "Surely the boys of Grand Night aren't now becoming chicken?" she asked.
I wasn't ready for this at all, and I was looking for any kind of diversion. "Just what do you and Hen do on or in a bed like that?" I asked.
"Fuck," she replied. "Want to watch?"
This was going far too fast.
Then David got into the spirit of the thing, suddenly realizing that Sue and Hen had had four way sex in mind from the beginning. He stood up and started getting undressed. "Last one naked is the first one fucked!"
We all undressed quickly, except Sue. As we all stood their naked she slipped off her bra and panties, and said, "OK, I am the first one fucked, and you, David, are going to fuck me."
I could almost see the wheels turning inside David's head. Was this getting out of hand, or were we in for a good time? About then David decided he, at least, was in for a good time and he picked up Sue and dropped her on the bed. Then he stopped and asked, "Contraception?"
"I'm on the pill. Hen and I aren't celibate, you know."
David came down on top of her and fucked her rather well. For a virgin he did an amazing job. As he aimed his dick at her cunt, he needed a little guidance and Hen and I both helped a little-while playing around a lot. It was both strange and fun to watch, but it didn't last long. Then Hen said to me, "I have always wanted to know what it was like to suck a cock. Sue has sucked mine, so I have had that experience, but I need a man to suck. Are you game?"
I flopped on the bed and said, "Sure."
Hen moved very slowly. Obviously, actually taking my cock in his mouth was different from thinking about it-which he clearly had done. I asked, "Do you want me to come in your mouth?"
"Yes," he said. "I may not get this chance very often, and I would like the whole experience."
David chimed in, "Damn, that means he is going to swallow it, and I don't get my dessert."
I said, "You'll just have to suck Hen."
Very soon I did come in Hen's mouth. He gagged a little, but he was a good sport and swallowed it all. Sue kissed him. Clearly, they had both gotten what they wanted.
I looked at Hen. "You haven't had an orgasm yet. What is your pleasure?"
"Whatever the three of you dream up."
David, Sue and I pushed him down on the bed and worked over every sensitive part of his body with our hands. He came, and Sue took great pleasure in rubbing his cum all over his body. David then licked it off! We all laughed, delighted with the game. A few months later, we were at Sue and Hen's for dinner. David and I were ready for them. When they went out to the kitchen to get the food we got our clothes off fast and were sitting naked at the table when the food arrived. I said, "No eating with your clothes on." They didn't try. That night it was my turn to lose my virginity to Sue, and I did with pleasure.
Later Sue asked, "Are you sure you guys are gay? You both sure enjoyed fucking me."
It got us thinking. We decided that we were definitely gay, but were glad to find a little latent heterosexuality in ourselves: it expanded our horizons!
My story draws to a close. David and I are still together. We moved to Washington, D.C. three years later, David with his Ph.D. and me with a law degree. We both work in different corners of the federal government establishment in that city. We have been openly gay with everyone since the Grand Night. I always refer to David as "my partner" and David refers to me as either his partner or-when in a playful mood-his husband. A few people can't deal with it and we simply move on. We are long past being upset by homophobes. We refuse to make their problem our problem.
While we have a number of gay friends, we have been careful not to limit our friends and activities. In fact, we consciously avoid activities by and for gays, like Pride Day, gay bars, etc. We want to just be ordinary people.
We were spoiled by living in a one room loft in Boston, and searched long and hard for a warehouse floor in Washington that we could convert. We found space on the sixth floor of a near downtown warehouse. It took up half a city block. You go up and down in a freight elevator. But when you step off the elevator (you need a key or have to wait for us to push a button that allows the elevator doors to open on the sixth floor) you are in our wonderful space. Tables, chairs, full kitchen, desks, books and bookcases, everything you need, but all in one room. David and I never tire of looking at each other, especially when were are naked. We find we live that way a lot. And we are often drawn to our corner bed. We had the biggest bed that we could find and eventually traded it for one specially made about twice the size of a king!
Sex continues to be fun, even at age 65. Over the years we have had quite a number of gay friends come by the apartment, and often it leads to sex. We had one tumble with two lesbians that was quite spectacular. They both wanted the experience of intercourse once in their lives, and we gave it to them. That was before the AIDS scare, so we had never experienced a condom. But our two lesbian friends were certainly not on the pill, and contraception was needed. It was kind of funny watching the four of us put a condom on my dick for the first time. When it was David's turn we knew a little more of what we were doing.
About four years after we came to Washington we had a big commitment ceremony at a hotel ballroom. We invited the world. Most of it came. David's parents were there, as was my mother. Dad had died the year before. Fred and Mary Rose were there, but Brend and Karen couldn't make-though they wanted to. The ceremony would change nothing. David and I couldn't have been more committed to each other than we were, and are. But it made the commitment public, and I guess that was important. Everybody seemed to think so.
In any event, a good time was had by all. We had a little band for dancing, and Sue warned us in advance that the Charleston was on the playlist. So were songs from South Pacific and The King and I. One doesn't do the Charleston as well at age 28 as one does at age 18, but we didn't do badly. The singing went even better. "We Kiss in a Shadow" still had the power to moisten every eye in the room. This was a little less than a year before Stonewall. As I look back on it now, when living as an openly gay couple in Washington isn't particularly unusual, I realize that we were pretty unusual. Looking back it appears that we were a lot gutsier than we felt at the time. We had just done what we felt was right, honest and natural. We had felt our hormones and hadn't tried to stifle them.
We didn't try to stifle them that evening, either. Mike and Peter came by the loft. We kissed them deeply and passionately. But we didn't try to go further. They had been our best friends from the beginning. They didn't stay late, as they knew that a few of the others that stopped by had plans that they wouldn't share in. They never passed judgement; their idea of commitment was for them, and they never condemned the rest of us for doing things differently. As he left, Mike took a look at the bed and reminisced a little. "Remember my first visit to your room. You had two beds then. I'll never forget the look on your face, Charlie, when I told you that I was sure that your bed was never used.
I smiled, "No I don't think I'll forget that. Nor will I forget a lot of things that have happened since." I kissed him again, and simply said, "Thanks." He and Peter left, going home to their well used bed.
David looked at the little group of close friends, all gay except Mary Rose and Fred, that were standing around the huge loft room. He surprised me by announcing, "Many of you know that Charlie and I aren't much into anal sex. In fact, the last time I fucked Charlie, or he fucked me, was on the night we came out. Charlie, fuck me now."
I did, to the cheers of the onlookers. Then David fucked me. And soon the entire group was on the bed doing one thing or another. In a little while we told everyone to go home. It had been a good day, a good evening, and good sex. But all things must pass, as did that wonderful day.
David's and my lives did not revolve around our sexuality. It was part of our being, and we delighted in being very sexual creatures. But life was about his science, my cases, theater and the arts in Washington, and our friends. Only with a small group did our friends enter into our sexuality. We enjoyed that, but it wasn't essential to our being.
I could tell much more of our lives: about our government careers, the books we wrote, the many friends we had, the vacations we took, the losses of our parents, and many more. But this story is about our sexuality. And that was formed largely during our high school and college years. Sex, and some very important decisions about sex, dominated those years. I think that it was the very good decisions we made early on that have made our lives so happy, and allowed sexual issues to fade into the background. We have watched the larger society try to deal with homosexuality, and fail. The church especially has failed. As a result neither David nor I attend either church or temple. But we believe we got it right. Sex is about love and sex is about fun. Why a society would want it to be otherwise simple doesn't compute for us.
I have one last story. It was about twenty years ago. David and I were in our mid-forties. We were at a Northwestern University Alumni party for the DC area. As we were standing around chatting, we were introduced to a man a couple of years younger than us. When Sid was introduced to me, I turned and said, "And this is my partner, David."
Sid stared a little, and then said, sort of talking into space, "Charlie and David. You're partners. Are you the Charlie and David that came out at Northwestern on Grand Night?"
Well, yes, we were.
"God, how wonderful to meet you after all these years. I was sitting in the back of the auditorium. I enjoyed your singing from South Pacific. But then when you won, and the two of you walked up on the stage holding hands, I thought, "What the Hell is going on?" Then you looked at each other and held both hands, and my heart skipped a beat. The song.... And then the kiss, not one but several, and passionate. I simply couldn't believe it. I found myself standing and cheering with everybody else. You two were the bravest people I had ever seen, and I think everyone in the hall knew it."
He continued, "Are you still that gutsy?"
What a question. Were will still that gutsy? We had never thought we were being gutsy, just being honest. Were we still honest? I thought so. But, gutsy? Had our lives been gutsy? I am not really sure. But I did need to answer this man:
"In today's world gays don't need to be that gutsy. If we did something, way back then, to help that, then I am thankful and perhaps proud. I hope to live in a world where people are not called upon to be that gutsy in order to be themselves." Was that an answer, or pap? I wasn't sure.
Sid then said, "I didn't have the guts to come out then. But my partner and I did come out about ten years ago. I know that I never could have done it if I hadn't watched you and David kiss that night. Thank you for my life."
I didn't know what to say. I looked to see if David had been listening. He had. We both hugged this stranger warmly. Our thanks to him was equally heartfelt.
That night, we had a late dinner, not eating much after all of the hors d'oeuvres at the alumni reception. We went from the table to bed, and David said to me, "You never know the ripple effect of your actions. That was quite a story Sid told us this evening. I think it affirmed for me a lot of what our lives have stood for."
"I was touched. What an unexpected outcome for a boring alumni affair."
David nodded, and then said, "Roll over, I want dessert." David would always be David.
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