Tralee: Tralee is a small town north-west of the town Killarney; both of which are real places in Ireland. (URL links to Wiki pages are provided for those who wish to learn about the world of As They Say.)
Today I went to see The Naked Gun 2 ½ movie with Thomas. It's not my cup of tea I'll tell you that. Why did I use a cup of tea in my sentence? Sigh… I'm listening to adults too much. I mean who wrote that ridiculous mess; sure, some parts of the film were funny, but people in the audience where legitimately erupting with laughter every five minutes. Perhaps it's me and my humour, but the only part of the film I found funny was the killer scene.
A guy comes into a bathroom with the woman, while she's amid the shower, she starts singing. All along he's putting a silencer on his gun to be quiet then all of a sudden; he takes over the room with his singing. I have no idea why it appealed to me, but it just seemed amusing. Not that the scene was supposed to appear darker anything. I don't know, it gave me a tingly feeling in my chest, and before long I knew that my cheeks were beginning to raise and well, I smiled.
As for the experience with Thomas; I mean it wasn't the worst. I know this will probably sound weird coming from me considering he's well... you know creepy. If you be patient and get to know him, he's not that bad. He refused to take any money from me; like I brought my own money to pay for my ticket and my food, but he insisted on getting everything for me. Those were his words, "you don't have to pay, it's my treat." When I tried offering him back he just politely declined. I tried pulling a fast one hoping that if he paid the tickets; I'd buy the food. It wasn't like I was ripping him off or anything. The sheer difference in the price was about a pound or two. Still, the way I was looking at it was that if he were willing to pay for it, then I'd save myself £2. I wasn't using it as an excuse not to pay for anything. It was just you know... Thomas was offering a handout, and I was willing to pay some of my shares.
Once the film began the talking with Thomas ceased. Usually, if I were with the boys, they would continuously talk through the entire viewing. I did hear a chuckle from him every so often when a funny part of the film came along, other than that he didn't say much. Though he did routinely ask, "do you want popcorn"
I'm not a fan of popcorn. So, I just got myself a little box of it; When I ran out he kept asking me did I want some of his. It got to a point where I was growing tiresome until I finally said I'd take some popcorn. Eventually, Thomas stopped enquiring. Another thing that comes to mind is that he ate very slowly. It was like he was conserving enough popcorn in case I wanted some.
This is worrisome maybe he does have a crush on me, and he's trying to win me over. How long has Thomas had a crush on me? Is it recent or a lot longer. Why am I only noticing this now? Let's hope I haven't been completely oblivious to the situation for years; that would be somehow embarrassing. Perhaps I should tell him that I'm not interested. Though how would I do that without hurting his feelings. Thomas seems genuinely interested. A move like this though could damage our friendship. Then again, I guess a ruined friendship is better than an uncomfortable harmony. Don't get me wrong; I like the attention oddly. I think it's nice getting admired; sought after. It feels weird somehow. It's as if I'm up for grabs as a prize or something.
Nevertheless, after the movie ended, I told him I had to cut it short. I didn't want to go home with him after my newfound discovery. You should've seen his face. Thomas was so glum after I had set it. I shouldn't have mentioned anything about going home with him. When he asked me, I should've just said no I don't think I can come back with you. Now it feels even worse because after possibly getting his hopes up, I just let them shatter. So yeah. I left him, and I went off and did my own thing. Anyway later – Adam.
I've been considering. What if I held a party for Ross's birthday. I know I touched on it a couple of entries ago, but I think it sounds like an excellent idea now. I have some money saved up from an allowance. Well, it's not allowance it is merely some money I have saved up. Essentially spending odds from mam: when she gave money to me for sweets and stuff for the shop. It's not much, but it could buy some of the party supplies for Ross's celebration day. I could get the boys together, and we could throw him the best birthday bash he's ever had. Well, I hope it will be. Today wasn't all that special; nothing exciting happened for me to harbour on about it in here for an entire entry. I guess that's all that happened today is a whole lot of nothing. So… I'll check back in tomorrow - night Adam.
I spent the majority of the day thinking of what I could buy Ross for his birthday. What would he want me to buy? Something expensive? Perhaps Ross would he be more traditional. You know where you buy something that has a lot of sentimental value, or you make something with your bare hands. Anyhow, I should think about what I need to get him because his birthday is not that long away. It's like a week or something. On top of that, I should start planning: you know talk to the guys, tell them know that his birthday is coming up and that I want to organise an event.
While the entire group were together today; we ate out at the pizza joint. When I had finished my pizza; I went to the bathroom to wash my hands and go to the toilet. When I came out of the cubicle and started washing my hands, I didn't expect Thomas to come into the bathroom. I felt trapped. It's like he's pursuing; like a lost puppy. I'm not sure if this classifies as stalker much yet. Though I'm not too fond of it. Maybe I should tell him to back off, but he just set off washing his hands. So Thomas had an excuse; though of all the people that come into the bathroom why Thomas. As Thomas cleaned his hands at the sink bank. I was forced to dry mine with toilet paper because the hand dryer in the bathroom wasn't working. So, while Thomas was washing his hands, he got chatting to me, and he started saying, "hey you know thanks for going to see The Naked Gun with me. It was fun, I enjoyed it, and I hope you did too... Now I was wondering if you would like to meet up again and do something else. They're doing a vintage car display in Tralee if you want to come with me. My mammy and dad are going out there to see the show. I'd like it if you came along to keep me company. It's boring on my own."
I was considering it, but you know cars are not my thing. On top of that, I'll be stuck for an entire afternoon with Thomas. I was on the verge of saying no. I'm disappointed that I didn't, but then I figured that I was taking longer to respond. Thomas more or less begged he said, "they have a funfair there every year too." I guess that was enough to convince me. Who doesn't love a funfair? The worst part is Thomas sprung it on me at the last moment. Now tomorrow, I'm going to see this car thing with him and his family.
On top of that, I was with Ross today at the castle as well. I have no idea why the castle has become such an iconic figure in our lives. It just feels like home every time we need someplace to go. The events of what had happened here made me respond uneasily for a short while. I could tell that something was on Ross's mind. He wasn't speaking all that much about it, and I was too was afraid to say anything. Only after a prolonged bearable silence. I finally broke down the barrier and asked, "em… About the other day, I'm sorry."
I dropped my head to my knees in part embarrassment more than anything else. I kept waiting for him to you know make a mockery out of me, but Ross didn't he just sighed glanced at me and said, "it's okay." And he left it at that for a few more minutes of painful silence. Only to be broken by a speedboat out on the water. Matter of fact it's the first time I've ever seen a boat of that proportion on the lake. It's not every day you see a fancy looking vessel like that. And of all places, why our lake, it so small compared to the much more significant lakes you could put it in.
After the boat had gone, and the hum trickle to a faint echo as it sang off into the surrounding trees I asked Ross, "can I ask you a question. Promise you won't get mad or all weird about it."
Ross took his eyes from the lake, glanced at me before returning his attention to the water. "Okay," he said. Ross appeared a bit nervous or agitated. I wasn't exactly confident with his answer, so I asked the second time, "you promise you won't leave."
Ross gave me a side glimpse, and he just said, "I promise." Those single two words were music to my ears. It gave me: or at least alluded me that everything would be okay no matter what I said and that he wouldn't just give up on me after me telling a contributing and vulnerable part of myself to him.
I took a deep breath and braced myself for the worst. I asked, "the thing we did the other day… Did you like that." My heart had exploded in my chest, I could feel it. Funnily enough, I was still living but everything else after I had said those exact words stopped living for me. My mouth grew increasingly dry, my throat swelled. It became so tight that it made even the simplest task of swallowing saliva difficult. My palms got clammy, followed by sweaty. A ringing in my ears began to protrude outwards, and my heart practically bashed against my rib cage. All I could focus on was trying to get my breath under control because it was laborious I'll tell you that much.
It took time for Ross answer me. He was away in a different world. Ross stared down at the grass between his two legs and nodded affirmatively. The way that he did it suggested that it wasn't one of his proudest acknowledgements. I think it was more from nervousness than anything else because the general relaxed vibe in the air turned to a stifling stale humidity of anxiety. Even the plausible notion of what if: took hold of my rational thought. What if I kept going, what if... Then I was alerted to the growing arousal in my crotch region.
It didn't take all that much to excite me. I got hard in an instant. Since I was already sitting up, I placed my hands on my knees and used my elbows to clasp my two knees together. I don't know I was hiding it, but I felt insecure at the moment. That's all that we said; The two of us grew uncomfortable. Ross didn't dare say anything else other than what I had asked him. A shy oppression took over any other questions that I had. So, I sat there all cringe-worthy and tried to wrap my head around what could've possibly happened if I had kept going. The realisation of being complete-rubbish killed the boner. At the time I was ever so grateful for an erection to diminish as quickly because not long after that we got up and made our way home.
Anyway, I'm going to try and get an early night's sleep tonight. I'm up quite early tomorrow. Thomas said he'd pick me up at my house; that he'd get his dad to drive by about 8:30 am. So, I best get some sleep – night, Adam.
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