Thomas and Colt's gym lockers were next to each other, and they'd talked about many things since the Sunday's foursome, but they never talked about the sex until the day they went over to see if they could help Matt with Jackass Barnes. They stood there silently, afraid to say anything and end up being attacked by a senior. Sure, Jackass was a jerk, but they didn't think they would be as quick as Matt with a response. Colt wanted to step forward and say something, but he held back. He was glad to see Ernie come from behind the lockers and get in Jackass' face because it took pressure off Thomas and him to do anything.
When they got back to their locker, Colt mentioned the past Sunday. "I know we've both been avoiding it, but what did you think about Sunday?"
"What about it?" Thomas asked casually.
"You know. What did you think?"
"Can we talk about it later? I don't think the boys' locker room is the right place."
"Sure, let's meet after practice."
Thomas didn't tell Colt or anyone else, but he'd thought about it a lot. He loved the sex, but seeing his ex-boyfriend making out with Matt and then sucking each other in a 69, was hard for him. Andy had been slowly stripping him, but the whole time he kept glancing over at Colt and Matt. He wasn't sure if Matt noticed or not. Seeing Colt with someone else pissed him off, but also seeing his hot boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend, having sex with someone else, turned him on. He kept thinking he must be crazy.
Then, when Andy was kissing Thomas, Andy reached back and rubbed Colt's ass. Thomas wanted to yell, "STOP!", but Andy was doing such a fine job of sucking his nipples, he couldn't. Colt started sucking Matt. Thomas did the same to Andy, but his eyes kept wandering over to Colt. It reminded him of all the hot sex they'd had before their breakup. Thomas kept hoping they'd switch, which they did, but the next thing he knew Andy had moved over to Colt and began licking his balls and then sucking his dick. Yeah, Thomas and Matt were then in a 69, but Thomas' eyes had been focused on Andy and Colt. He had been distracted and kept thinking he was going to lose his hard-on. But hell, watching Andy and Colt was a great turn on, despite his jealousy. All he could hope for was that he and Colt would soon be partners in that crazy foursome.
It continued like that. He had to watch Andy fuck Colt's mouth and then see Colt rim Andy's ass. Thomas hated it all, but then loved it at the same time. Then Colt had started licking Andy's balls, sucking his cock, and then going back to Andy's ass. Again, Thomas wanted to yell, "STOP!". But he couldn't. He was speechless. But Andy hadn't been. He had said, "Thomas, you've trained Colt well." Thomas wanted to yell, "Fuck you, Andy", but he had kept his mouth shut. Just about the time he had thought his dick was going to shrink, they had to switch again, and soon he had his dick in Matt's ass, and it had felt great. It didn't take long for Thomas lose his concentration when he saw Andy sit on Colt's dick and begin riding it like a cowboy on a bunking bronco. Colt's eyes had rolled back in his head. Thomas wanted to grab Colt and punch him, but having Matt riding his dick felt so good that his eyes rolled back in his head too. None of this had kept him from hoping they'd switch again, and he'd be with Colt. But luck wasn't with him. Thomas had rode Matt while Colt rode Andy. He wanted to cry. He'd watched Colt do something with everyone but him. And then he'd had to watch Colt being fucked by Andy. Thomas wasn't sure whether it was anger or the pleasure he got from watching Colt getting fucked, but Thomas had come first, and it had pissed him off.
And now Colt wanted to know what he thought about the foursome.
Colt loved the foursome, but he too couldn't help but watch Thomas. They'd shared so many memories together. Thomas had been the first boy he'd ever been with. Thomas treated him with respect and loved him enough to let him go. The whole thing had begun to make Colt question everything he'd done, even why the four of them were there together. It really turned him on to watch Thomas getting sucked and fucked, but he wanted to be the one with Thomas, but it had never happened. Or like they say: 'We always want what we can't have.' Colt wanted Thomas as much as Thomas wanted Colt. This is why Colt started the conversation with Thomas in the locker room that Wednesday.
Jason's mother knocked on his door and opened it without waiting for him to answer. Jason didn't move.
"How's my baby?" she asked in a low voice.
He didn't move.
"Jason, dinner's ready. Come down and eat."
He didn't move.
She sat on his bed and rolled him onto his back. "Are you okay?"
Jason groaned. "I'm not hungry."
"Your dad's home. We can eat together, and you can tell us more about what happened today."
"I don't want to talk about it. Please. Please, just leave me alone."
"Is it the bump on your head?"
That was just the opening he needed. "Yes. I have a terrible headache. I just want to sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow, okay?"
"This thing needs to be settled," she said. "I need to know what happened, so I'll have all the facts when I complain to the principal."
Jason rolled quickly toward her. "What do you need to talk to the principal for? I passed out. There's nothing else."
"You're just saying that because you've been hurt or something happened that you don't want to talk about. What did that boy, what's his name, Andy something, do to you?"
"Nothing, Mom. He found me passed out and got help. Quit trying to make a big thing out of it."
She rubbed the hair out of his eyes. "Jason, you're my baby. I can tell when something's wrong."
"Mom, nothing's wrong. You should be thanking Andy rather than thinking he did something to me."
"You seem so secretive."
"Secretive? There's nothing to tell, and you keep after me like there is. I'm not being secretive. Like I said, I passed out, Andy found me, and got help. That's it. So drop it." His assertiveness surprised him.
"I still think there's more to it than you're telling me. If you're not coming down to dinner, then I'll have your father come up and talk to you."
"Whatever," he said in defeat.
His mother had only been gone a few minutes when his dad knocked on the door and came in. Jason turned toward the door.
His father stood at the door. "Jason, your mother said you're not hungry. Are you okay? I've never seen a time when you weren't hungry. Growing boys are always hungry."
Well gay boys with homophobic parents aren't always hungry.
"I have a headache, and I'm a little sick to my stomach. I'll be fine if everyone would just leave me alone and let me sleep."
"I'd like to Jason, but your mother and I think there's more going on here than you're telling us."
"I said there isn't. Why don't you believe me?"
"There's the wet shirt for one. There's this Andy Gibson for another. There's a bump on your head, and no one quite understands why you passed out. What caused you to pass out?"
Jason sat up in bed and shrugged. "I got dizzy, that's all."
"Why was the shirt wet?"
"Either Dax, the hall monitor, or Andy threw water on me to wake me up."
"You don't get a whole shirt wet from cupping your hands in the faucet and throwing some water on your face. From what I understand, your whole shirt was soaked through when only your face should have gotten wet."
"Dad, I don't feel well, and you keep interrogating me. Can't you just accept what I said and leave me alone? I passed out, and I have no idea why my shirt was soaked. You'll have to ask them." He knew just as the words flew out of his mouth, that it was the wrong thing to say.
"Don't worry, I plan to find out, and so does your mother."
I wanted to call Jason and see how everything was, but I knew that would be the worst thing to do. I was worried about him though. Life sometimes creates the perfect storm as it did when I found out Dillon was messing around with Thomas and Randy. Jason was being backed into a corner, and suddenly it's like being in a burning building, and you can't find the exit because all the exit lights are out. There was no way for me to know what was going on at Jason's house, but from the little he told me, they probably wanted to know what he was doing in the bathroom with me and maybe even why his shirt was all wet. I'd be asking the same questions. The situation scared me because I was afraid Jason might take his life or at least try, and he wouldn't have Matt or me or anyone else to save him.
Thomas and Colt quickly got dressed and walked out of the locker room so they'd have time to talk before they had to get on the after-practice activity bus.
They walked slowly toward the front of the school until Colt stopped and asked, "How do you feel about Sunday?"
"It was hot. I glanced over at you a few times, and you seemed to be enjoying yourself."
"Me too," Colt responded.
Thomas smiled. "I didn't know you were watching me."
"I was and thought it was hot. I kept hoping we'd get together before it was over. Can you believe we didn't really touch each other? The whole idea of following the movie sounded good, but in the end, I was disappointed because I wanted to be with you. I'm not saying it wasn't hot. It was, but I wanted you."
"I feel the same as you do," Thomas said.
Colt moved in close. "Do you want to make up for it?"
"Yeah, but what about Zoe?"
"Zoe's cool. She has no expectations. I owe Matt a big thanks because he told me to lay everything on the line before we had sex. She agreed. We're still friends, and she's open to having sex again. Megan doesn't even want to talk to Matt. He burned that bridge."
Thomas pursed his lips. "So are we on or off?"
"We're on. But it has to be friends with benefits for now. I'm leaning toward us getting back together, but I'm not ready yet."
"Are you expecting me to wait around for you to decide?" Thomas asked as he took a step back.
"Thomas, do you still love me?"
The activity bus was pulling up to the curb as Thomas pondered his answer. "I can't answer that right now. Do you love me?"
"Yes, but…but…"
Thomas moved toward the bus. "Let's talk about it later. We both need to think about this."
"I'd like to know now."
"So would I, but I think we need to take some time to think about it. Let's get on the bus," Thomas said as he walked to the bus and climbed up the steps with Colt following. They sat next to each other but didn't talk. There was noise all around them with guys and girls talking and laughing, but they didn't hear anything, each lost in their own thoughts.
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection. -- Thomas Paine
The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.-- Thomas Merton
There are three principal means of acquiring knowledge…observation of nature, reflection, and experimentation. Observation collects facts; reflection combines them; experimentation verifies the result of that combination. -- Denis Diderot
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