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By Ernesto66

Chapter Eight: Nowhere

I gratefully thank the many authors online who have inspired me by posting their work. In trying to emulate their stories I started "Homecoming," which helped me through the hardest period of my life.

"Homecoming" is dedicated to my husband David; I began writing it before I even knew him but with his love and support he greatly influenced its direction.

On Saturday morning, Michael very slowly awoke, hearing faint birdcalls outside and feeling closer to... what?

Satisfied. Peaceful. At last.

...than at any other time in his life he could remember.

At last. He kept his eyes closed, enjoying the soft light falling on him and the smoothness of the covers on his skin.

He felt full, was the best way he could describe it to himself. Complete.

Like he was somehow floating. Like the bed was a raft on a tranquil sea.

No dreams, thank God. What had happened to him?

Last night washed past, a blur of words and images. The hot tub, Jeremy's eyes on him, dinner, Billy, the shower, talking to Jeremy, Kevin on the phone, Jeremy naked.


He became aware he was still holding Jeremy's body next to him. Now he opened his eyes.

Michael's left arm was trapped under the boy (not that he was complaining), while his right arm lay around his middle. His palm rested on Jeremy's flat stomach, his middle finger tracing the ridge of his belly button and just brushing the softer dip of skin inside.

Michael lifted his head a little. They were comfortably buried under layers of covers and one of their robes, and with very little thought it was easy to remember they were both naked. Their skin where it touched felt merged, whether from sweat or chlorine or body lotion, it didn't matter. Michael's morning hard-on was wedged into the gap of Jeremy's ass like it had been carved to fit right inside.

The room was cool but not cold, pale sun reflected off the snow outside shining on the ceiling. Although the pillar candle had long since burnt out, its vanilla scent hung in the air. Items from the night before were scattered around and at the sight of them Michael wryly smiled. It hadn't exactly gone the way either of them had pictured, he guessed.

Regardless, here and now felt very right. This was surely how life was supposed to be. He'd be happy lying in bed, just as they were then, for the rest of the day. Or his life. He didn't care if he never moved again. It was true, he felt complete.

Funny what twenty-four hours could do to you. Fucking hilarious.

Squinting, he barely made out the clock on his nightstand. Jesus, it was after eleven. He had no idea how late they'd been up, but they'd really slept through.

Jeremy stirred. "Are you awake?" he whispered.

Michael spoke aloud. "Yeah, you?"

"Yeah. I felt your heart start beating different so I figured you were. I've been up for half an hour."

He lifted his arm. "You probably have to go, you should've-"

"No I don't. I went last night. You're a really deep sleeper, by the way." The boy pulled his arm back and curled deeper into Michael's space, pressing his rear backward against the older man and stirring something inside him. It had been so long since Michael had spent a morning like this. He'd forgotten how wonderful it could feel to wake up next to someone new, forget yourself and the day ahead and want to go no further than the edge of the bed.

"You're right, I didn't notice." He buried his nose in Jeremy's hair, his lips meeting the back of his neck, and cupped his free hand around one of the boy's little nipples, rubbing it idly with the ball of his thumb. He felt it harden against him.

Michael whispered "This feels so good." Jeremy made a noise that he took for agreement.

With no other thought - none - but the pleasure of the moment, Michael began grinding his hips into the boy from behind. The sensation of stickiness on their skin gave way to one of lubrication as the heat they began to generate melted whatever lay between them. His cock curved up alongside Jeremy's balls, and the muscles of the younger body molded to him, gripped and held him.

Jeremy cleared his throat. "Umm..."

Michael immediately seized up. "Oh shit! I'm sorry, Jeremy. God..." He pushed himself off, pulling his hands away as if they were burnt. "Force of habit. God damn it! I know what I said last night, and I meant it. Shit."

The boy chuckled. "Jeez, dude, relax. I just wanted to get off my shoulder, my arm's asleep. Really, that actually felt kind of awesome."

Michael shook his head and breathed out. "I love that 'awesome' has made a comeback a generation later." Jeremy lifted up and stuck his arm out of the covers, and they resumed their places. "I, uh, overreacted. You'd have been right to-"

"Shut up, man. And come back."

A more or less comfortable quiet fell once they'd both relaxed and re-entangled themselves. In a few minutes, Michael realized he was hearing a new sound in the room, and just as he'd worked out what it must be, Miss Catherine bounded over the side of the bed and landed next to them.

Purring loudly, she prodded Jeremy's chin and tried to burrow into the bedspread with her nose. "Hey, baby," Jeremy murmured. He shrugged the duvet off his bare shoulder so he could pet her. She settled beside him. "Did we ever feed you?"

"You know I don't think we did."

"Maybe you ate my sandwich. I want to tell you something." Michael watched over the top of Jeremy's head as he continued stroking the cat's fur. "You, dude, I have something to tell you."

Michael started. Of course. "Ha, I thought you were talking to her. What's up?"

"Doesn't it seem... Kind of perfect to you? I mean, this right now. It's so quiet all over, and we're so alone. It felt great being close to you all night. The best word I can think of is 'safe.'"

Michael smiled. "Actually, I was just thinking the same thing. I can't believe there's anything more perfect than just being here like this."

"I was wondering if there was a way you could make it any better. If that was even possible." He scratched the cat behind her ear, ruffling her long fur.

Michael hesitated answering, but only a second. He knew. "It sounds like you have an idea."

"Yeah, I thought of a way, maybe..." Jeremy shifted his weight, giving the cat a kiss on the head and gently pushing her off the bed. Then his butt very deliberately pressed backward into Michael's lap, reawakening the sensations down there that he'd just put to rest. "...a way to make it..." He faded out as his connection to the older man took hold of them both.

Michael said, "This is, uh..." But he couldn't finish his sentence. Fuck it.

On his first try Jeremy hit the exact spot, planting the groove of his ass right along the shaft of Michael's dick, and in no time they were back where they'd left off a minute ago. Jeremy tightened his grip on the older man's hand and forced the flat of his palm over his nipple until it swelled and hardened again. Michael caressed the smooth plane of the boy's chest, the bump tickling inside his palm. He curled his fingers around and squeezed it. The boy gave a sound that turned into a groan and he arched his back, pushing Michael uncomfortably into the curve of the duvet they were wrapped in. He tore the cover off and drank in the sight before him: Jeremy's naked body, parallel next to his own. Shoulders, ribs, waist, all bare skin. Down to where they were very nearly, but not close enough to, attached at the hips. Soon, oh yeah.

He leaned up and ran his hand the length of the boy's form, from around his shaggy ankle and over his leg and ass to the square shape of his hip, the separate curves of his ribs, over the edge of his chest and around the little oval of his nipple again. He rubbed it with his thumb, not too roughly, making Jeremy squirm against him and tighten all the muscles enclosing his cock.

That did it. Michael leaned forward and fastened his mouth on Jeremy's neck, all caution to the wind. The boy cried out, craning his head and exposing himself to attack.

If anyone wanted to accuse Michael of molesting, coercing, raping... then let them. He knew better, and if the body moving against him meant anything, then Jeremy knew it too. Everything Michael did brought a new response, and he felt the inexperienced kid testing his limits and trying things for himself. He imagined him soaking it up, remembering for later, an excellent student. The boy wanted this.

Michael bit down, only just using his teeth, hard enough to leave a mark later but gentle enough to let his lips glide over the skin. His tongue worked back and forth, wet, pressing against the surface and seeking out the nerves underneath. When he came to the hard edge of Jeremy's jaw he took hold of it and moved the boy's head toward him, so he could kiss him again, deeper than before. He'd wanted to do that all night.

Jeremy rolled onto his back, moving them apart and pulling his bottom away from Michael, leaving him cold. But here was the trade-off: Michael now had the whole length of the naked boy underneath his hand and within reach completely. Their mouths met and within seconds he'd reddened Jeremy's face again with the stubble of his beard on his lips and chin. He moved his hand to the back of the boy's neck, and Jeremy did the same in return. They clung to each other that way, their tongues fighting for space on opposite sides, until Michael let him go and his right hand started down. Knuckles brushed neck, collarbone, chest, nipple. He pinched an areola between two fingers, hard enough to make Jeremy protest, muffled inside his mouth. Michael smiled and his hand continued blindly down.

Past the bones of his ribcage Michael's fingertips finally found the crinkly hair of the kid's treasure trail, followed it as it widened over the flank of his stomach. Hit the thicker patch at the root of his dick, yes!, then up its trunk to the head. When he'd wrapped his fist all the way around and moved it up and down a couple of times he guessed there had to be at least six or seven inches there. Long and thin but impressive, nothing boylike about it at all, hot and hard as steel.

Their tongues continued to explore each others' mouths, feeling the way and jumping back as teeth came down. Michael withdrew, leaving a trail of saliva behind, to gnaw on the bone of Jeremy's chin above his throat. He could feel the soft beginnings of a beard coming up through the skin there, baby sandpaper tickling and scratching against his incisors. He spent a long minute sliding his mouth down the curve of neck to the hollow of his collarbone. He felt a warm pulse and the vibrations of Jeremy's breaths underneath him. When he was done he moved back up and over, to the mouth waiting for him, the tongue and spit and teeth.

Michael's right hand meanwhile continued its work, his middle finger finding Jeremy's frenum and stroking it, feeling something warm and welcoming... He squeezed gently and precome spurted out, coating his fingers and thumb. Jeremy gasped, breaking contact and sinking back into his pillow. Michael smeared the slick mess around the head and moved his hand firmly up and down half a dozen times. With Jeremy's face out of the way he looked down to watch his fist work its wonders.

"Ohmygod, stopstopstop!" The boy frantically grabbed his wrist to keep it from moving. Michael let go after another second and brought his hand to his mouth. He stuck each finger in and licked it clean, loving the clear sweet taste. Jeremy watched this with something like amazement. What had he thought they'd be doing?

"This isn't gonna last long if you don't keep your hands off me," he breathed. "Let me do you for a while."

Michael smiled. "No argument." He relaxed and let himself lay out flat.

Jeremy got up on his knees and looked down at Michael from an angle, his hair in his face once again. "I apologize right now if I'm bad at anything-"

"Shut up and just start," Michael urged. Jeremy took hold of his stiff dick and did the same as he just had, trying to milk the older man. "I don't precome as much as some guys." He glanced down at Jeremy's lap and saw a silvery thread of the stuff connecting him to the bedcover. "But I love that you do. There's nothing like that flavor in the whole world."

Jeremy's blue eyes glinted in the morning sun. Licking his lips and tossing his hair back, he leaned over and put his mouth on top of Michael's left nipple. He swirled it with his tongue and bit at it, softly, which sent low-level electrical impulses all over the older man's body immediately. God, was he a good student. Then the boy drew it into his teeth, reeling it up and only letting it go when Michael slapped the bed to signal too much. Jeremy smiled, proud of himself, and lowered his head again. A couple of minutes more on the other one, making them both little pebbles on his chest, then on.

He moved over the level of Michael's pectorals and down the ridge of his sternum. There he found the map to Michael's own treasure and followed it, with twenty stops along the way to place a kiss on each rib and mole, and his tongue inside his bellybutton, on the way there. By the time he'd reached his goal Michael was rock hard. Jeremy stopped and pulled back.

"God, this is so great! To not be sneaking looks in the shower or the bathroom." He tentatively took Michael's cock in his hand and tested its weight, looking at it like he'd never seen one this close. "I didn't knew what it would feel like to have another one in my hand. This is a thousand times better than looking at anything on the 'net." He tried to encircle it between his thumb and first finger and just barely could. He laughed, "Man, your dick is fat!"

Michael helplessly said "Thanks. Just makes it look big, is all. Personally I'd rather have one like yours." He ran a finger up Jeremy's leg until he felt something bump into it. He tickled the loose skin at the bottom of the boy's balls, making him giggle, then continued drawing a line seven inches up, to the end of his cock. The tip of Michael's pointer finger brushed his piss slit and Jeremy closed his eyes. "I'm just saying when it comes to being on the receiving end of a fuck, longer usually makes for a spectacular creamy dessert. Fatter just fills you up like a big main course. So I've heard."

Jeremy grinned. "Whatever. This thing is big. I may need a snorkel." He reared back and practiced stretching his jaw. "Here goes." He took a second to work up a mouthful of spit, then went down.

Michael groaned and turned his head to the side, just about into his armpit. The younger mouth closed on his dick, warm and firm just around the head, then slowly up and down all the rest. Like a plug into a socket. If it was possible he got even harder.

Jeremy chugged the length of it inch by inch, testing his gag reflex with each step. God, he's unbelievable, Michael thought. I haven't even done this to him yet. Nothing but natural talent.

He closed his eyes tighter and balled his fists, seeing stars behind his eyelids.

In a minute he looked down to see the boy's lips pressed so far into his pubes it was like he had a blond goatee. Jesus, he hadn't heard him gag once. His dick had disappeared down Jeremy's throat; he felt it resting against the kid's tongue, that smooth wet muscle moving under and around his shaft. The back of his throat enclosed everything past that. When the boy had reached his goal he slowly spit all of it back out, lips still clinging to its sides, then took it up again. Then out, then in. No one would ever know this was his first try, God no.

With what was left of his mind, Michael's eyes traveled from Jeremy's head buried in his lap to his legs and ass raised high in the air on his left side. He realized this would be a great chance to get better acquainted with that end, that his fingers were itching to get there and return some of the feelings he was enjoying.

Michael ran his fingertips up one hairy leg and into the fur covering the boy's balls, tickling them gently until he could feel a laugh wanting out of the throat around his dick. He cupped them, admiring their fullness in his hand. They were indeed bigger than his. Then along the hard-on of Jeremy's taint, meeting a little less hair there, to finally arrive at the promised land.

God. Without even looking, it felt like a fucking forest back there, but Michael's finger still managed to find its prize and stroke its sensitive surface. Jeremy arched his back and Mmmmed, vibrating everything inside his mouth, with each new sensation back there on his asshole.

The vibes were bringing Michael closer and closer. He pulled his hand back, around the body beside him, and stuck his forefinger in his mouth. He wet it good with a gob of spit. Jeremy, his fist and mouth at work, watched him do this from the corner of his eye. In a second Michael found home plate again. The boy shut his eyes and the vacuum on the older man's dick went slack as he applied only enough pressure to barely sink his finger in, maybe just the nail sliding inside. Jeremy bucked like he'd been tased.

He came off Michael's dick, spit curling from the corner of his mouth. "God, what was that. I wanna make you stop but everything you're doing feels so freaking good!"

"You never stick a finger up your own ass?" Michael smiled. A little further in. "Tell the truth."

The boy made a face that wasn't really a grimace, it was too happy. "Gross, no."

"Gross to some folks... the gateway to heaven for others." A little more. Almost.

Jeremy brushed his arm across his face, catching the sweat on his cheek. "I'm not-" Michael barely moved his fingertip. "-God, gonna make it, no way."

Undeterred, Michael kept firm where he wanted to be. Jeremy leaned further and further back, now all but sitting on his hand, and he let himself appreciate the feeling of being enfolded by the boy's insides as his finger sank deeper into him. He flexed all the muscles in his arm, lifting Jeremy up two inches and making his eyes roll and his breath catch. His dick popped up and slapped his stomach.

"St- op, stop, man I'm begging."

"You have to go some time, you can't hold out forever. I'm close enough. For an amateur you're very damn good at this."

Jeremy dropped his head and grinned. He'd left so much saliva behind on Michael's cock the older man could feel it running down his balls and between his thighs onto the bed. "I want it to last, though."

"Oh, we'll make it last, again and again and again. But you know the old saying, all good things..." He wiggled his finger inside the boy, the way you'd say Come here to someone, and Jeremy gasped, wrinkled his nose and shuddered, gripping Michael's leg too tight in his hand.

"Oh, oh man. Please stop. Stop." Michael quit and took his hand away. The boy relaxed his hold. "Okay, honestly for a second. I'm afraid of what it's gonna feel like, to..."

"Have something bigger up here?"

"Yes." He opened his eyes and plucked a pubic hair off his tongue. "Yuck. I mean I'm scared to death, but I'm dying to know if I'll even like doing that."

"Then let's try this."

Michael leaned over the side of the bed, searching for the stuff from last night tangled in the bedclothes. He picked up one of the bottles and a string of foil packages; sitting again he upended the lube and slathered three of his fingers with it, sticking the rubbers under his pillow. Jeremy watched him do all this with an expression of interest bordering on queasiness. "Trust me," Michael reassured him.

He laid back flat on the bed, protecting his wet hand, and took hold of Jeremy's leg with the other. His palm firmly on the boy's thigh, Michael maneuvered it toward him. "Move around." When Jeremy understood what was wanted, he balanced on one knee and swing his other leg over Michael's chest. He landed with his rear end in the air over the older man's face.

Perfect. Michael now had a spectacular view of the youngest ass he'd ever seen close up, would ever see again, wide open and right there in front of him. Smooth and unlined, pink and untouched. His mouth watered at the thought.

"Go back to what you were doing down there, and while you're, uh, distracted in a minute I'll put my, well..." How could you say it? "I'll be gentle, trust me."

Jeremy's head slowly bent out of sight and in a moment Michael felt the sensation of his dick being devoured again. So meantime...

He lifted his head to the level of Jeremy's butt, again admiring its shape and textures, the firm globes of muscle covered in such a curly black pelt of hair. It took a second to pick the dark line of his anus out of all those other dark lines, but when he had he wasted no time craning forward and planting his tongue firmly inside its slot. The meal going on in his lap stopped as the boy absorbed this new feeling, that of Michael swabbing him inside and out, his chin tickling his taint and testicles. Jeremy's skin still smelled slightly watery and bleachy, moreso of last night's lotion, otherwise young and clean.

When the kid resumed sucking with a new energy, Michael snaked a lubricated finger up beside his mouth and added it to the mix. At first he only teased the little bump of flesh with the tip of his middle finger, combined with his tongue, but gradually his hand took over and he lowered his head to rest on the back of Jeremy's calf. His longest finger continued its job, circling and pressing lightly, then dipping out of sight for a second at a time, each time more of it disappearing. Jeremy moaned, his mouth full, and his dick, pointed at Michael's chest, jumped with every thrust. A long wet string of precome drooled out of it and hit Michael's nipple. His free hand took Jeremy's dick and slicked its firm ridges with the spare fluid.

Next step. Michael's first finger joined the middle one inside Jeremy, both of them pressing past the ring of muscle in the boy's rectum into the softer tissues beyond. The further he went, the louder the boy's protests, until Jeremy finally broke off what he was doing and came up for air.

"Oh, oh, oooohh. God, that feels freaking great." He hung his head down until his forehead rested on Michael's kneecap. "I, ooh. You have to st-"

"In a minute."

"I don't wanna, ohh, Jeeez." Jeremy clamped his jaw on the meat of Michael's thigh and arched his ass even higher, nearly dislodging their connection, but the older man held steady.

"Don't worry, not yet." Michael completed his three-finger exercise and the boy hardly seemed to notice. "You feel that? Yeah, I guess you do. I have three fingers in you." Jeremy laughed his single laugh and looked back between his legs at him in amazement. "Tell me about it. That's about what I'll probably feel like. And if you like just that part..."

Michael's middle finger strained and found the boy's prostate, caressed it like a fortune teller with a crystal ball. Jeremy's sides heaved.

"God, man, is that the thing?" He bared his teeth and winced.

Michael gently rubbed the gland a second longer. "Yup, that's what makes it all magic."

He slid all three fingers in and out briefly, the wet surface surrounding him and giving way against his invasion. Jeremy said something like "Ahhhwwww...", his stomach clenched, and the muscles of his ass contracted around Michael's fingers. Thank God he'd just cut his nails.

"I'll get back to that in a while. I bet you're gonna love all the rest of this. And I do intend to make love to you, Jeremy. Fuh, fuck you," he teased. The boy frowned and grinned at the same time.

"But first I want you to fuck me."

Jeremy, still watching him, slowly turned and sat back. Michael pulled his hand away, slick with lube, and wiped it on his leg. All signs pointed to go, the two of them fit like a hand and glove. So to speak.

But first...

The boy was leaning on one arm and seemed to be trying to puzzle out what he'd just heard. Michael propped himself up on one elbow and nodded.

"Yes, I meant that. I'll gladly fuck you fifty times before the day is over, but I want you inside of me at least once. Your first time should belong to you." He emphasized the last word by tapping Jeremy's knee.

"But... you said you don't do that. That you'd never done it."

"Yeah, I was exaggerating about that. Everyone tries it at least once, how else are you going to know? But this is different. I was obviously wrong last night, you know, you are ready. And I'm surprised to say I am too." Michael sat up straight beside him, eye to eye again.

"You said special, something you'll remember until the day you die."

He leaned forward and softly put his mouth to Jeremy's, closing his eyes and savoring the sweet innocence there. In the back of his mind it rang that what they wanted to do was about to remove that, forever.

They stayed that way, their lips touching, no competition or wrestling this time, for two or three minutes. Michael's clean hand came to the back of Jeremy's neck, and in a second the boy's smaller one rose and closed over it. It was the difference in their sizes that drove home what they were doing in the older man's mind.

When that moment was over and the two of them started, he thought, this would no longer be the boy he'd picked up yesterday. Wouldn't really even be the one he was kissing right then. He'd be someone different, someone with that much more experience. And the person making that happen? Michael.

Damn him. He wanted to cry at the thought, no matter how much they both might desire it. Something so natural but at the same time so violent, no matter how careful you tried to be.

And a lifetime spent in a way of being, gone.

Was it true about rites of passage? Were they definite borders between countries that you couldn't ever cross again? There were surely some places you never needed to go back to. Shouldn't it be enough - to be able to see where you'd been, from where you stood afterwards?

Michael moved his palm to the boy's back and pressed him closer as he let them both down onto the bed again, still kissing. They fell like that in slow motion, Jeremy on top, until Michael's head hit the pillows and their noses bumped.

The boy giggled, rubbing his nose, and raised up higher over Michael on his knees. The older man awkwardly shifted one leg over so they were in the missionary position, the kid close between his legs, his cock where it would need to be soon enough.

Michael hooked his arms around the backs of his knees and lifted them up, letting the most vulnerable part of himself open to Jeremy. The boy bent forward, one arm to either side of Michael's chest, and began pushing his hips into the older man. He lowered his head, his long hair brushing his partner's face.

"I can't believe you're letting me do this. I didn't dream it would be..." he breathed into Michael's mouth.

Michael returned the kiss and felt the boy's thrusts increase in intensity, felt the increasing weight against his ass. Jeremy was ready in no time. The older man grabbed him around his middle and held fast.

Michael could feel the kid's cock right at his back door, the length of it sliding up and down the groove of his taint and crack, the hot tip of it meeting his sensitive asshole with every pass. He looked Jeremy in the eye.

"For you," Michael sighed.

They'd both started to sweat, and the droplets were the only thing separating them as their bodies began to move as one. Skin slid over skin and muscle met muscle, hot and smooth.

Jeremy lifted his head an inch above Michael's, perspiration making his skin glow in the morning light. "Fast, give me one of those things to put on."

Clearly Michael said "No."

The boy slowed but only for a second, probably weighing the value in stopping to argue right now.

He added "For me, not you."

Jeremy nodded reluctantly, his hair swaying, and they went on.

The boy balanced on one arm, taking hold of the shaft of his dick and rubbing it more forcefully at the point of entry. He squeezed it as he did, trying to milk more lubrication from himself, and rubbed it harder against the giving surface under him. Michael could sing, the nerves down there felt so fucking good at the touch, the anticipation. Yeah, that was how he remembered this part, the calm before the storm. Would he still be so ready to go on once that had vanished and he was skewered like a shish kebab? One way to find out.

Michael groped in the bedcovers for the bottle of lube, found it and popped its cap. He squirted a liberal amount toward Jeremy's hand and knew he'd hit the mark when their skin left off chafing where it met and instead became smooth and slippery. The boy gasped at the sensation and quickly spread it over everything down there. In a moment the blunt end of his cock was colliding with Michael's ass like a wet battering ram, his gooey fist keeping it in place.

Michael remembered it was a good idea to take deep breaths, try to time them with the rhythm they'd established. His back was hurting a little, too. He rehooked one arm around his leg.

"Michael, man, I'm having a heart attack," the boy confessed, never breaking stride. "My dick knows exactly where it wants to go and I'm ready to put it there but I'm like so light-headed. And you-"

"I'm fine, Jeremy. Go at your own pace." Michael realized how he must look, clenching and unclenching his jaw, preparing himself for what was coming. He made an effort to stop.

"Yeah, I can see you're fine," Jeremy smirked. "Why don't we-"

Without a word Michael reached down and took a handful of Jeremy's damp ass. Since his cock was already close enough to its slick target there wasn't much more to have to do. He took one more deep breath, beared down like he never had before, and pulled the boy toward himself with all his muscles. The cock at his asshole bent back for a second, making Jeremy grimace, then it hardened and slid between the protective muscles, deeper and deeper into his guts. Michael heard moaning, his own and the boy's, and it filled his ears. Exquisite pain sliced him in half.

Only when Jeremy's hipbones slapped into Michael's gluteals did the head of his dick finally stop short, just at- Oh yes, Michael remembered that next feeling well enough. The warmth radiating out from his waist, the signals like live electricity dancing on the surface of his skin. It cut through the pain, the fullness, the discomfort, the violation of his bowels. Those would all fade in a minute, if he recalled, but the pleasure center that the boy was just now coming into contact with would only grow and grow. And he was, exactly the right length. Exactly.

Jeremy's face, what Michael could see of it through his squinted eyes, looked transported. His brows knotted and lifted, wet hair clung to the sides of his face, his teeth were gnawing his lower lip. His bare shoulders strained with his weight as he rocked them both back and forth and the bed's springs squeaked.

"Oh, my, god," the boy intoned with every thrust, a smile bursting out of him. "God! You're, so tight!" He unlocked his arms and lowered his head above Michael's, the older man's legs trapped between them, underneath his shoulders. Their lips met one more time as he used a newfound traction to intensify the blows to Michael's raised backside. The distress the older man was experiencing weakened as he relaxed and relinquished control. The pain fell away to just the feeling of the hot cock moving along that canal inside him, touching every nerve along the way and making him want to yell.

"All, for you, Jeremy," he sighed instead.

The boy's mop of hair swung into Michael's eyes, the sweat from his nose and chin dripping onto his partner's face and chest. Jeremy made a noise and lifted up on his elbows, his lips parted and his eyes unfocused. Michael knew he must be close. He gripped the taut muscles slamming into his ass as well as he could, his fingers wet with sweat and lube and who knew what else they had on them. Although he couldn't really keep hold he could plainly feel the tremors going up Jeremy's legs and he knew it wouldn't be long.

The boy chewed down on his lip and dug into the bedclothes until Michael felt his ass lifting off the bed with the force of his attack. Only a couple more and-

"I've gotta pull out! Oh my god I'm gonna come in you, I can't!" he cried.

"No, don't you dare!" Michael threw his arm around Jeremy so he couldn't leave. Their combined heartbeats shook the bed and drowned out any other noise. Michael wanted them as close as this for long as possible.

There it was. The boy buried his head into the older man's shoulder, every muscle in his body suddenly rigid under his arm. With a sob he called Michael's name out once into his ear, then again. The room got quiet as the fullness of him slowed, stopped moving, and was gradually joined by another. A molten warmth that grew and filled him in spurts like a pulse. Jeremy, galvanized, clung to him with muscles that released only when the last sound had finally left him.

Both of them were sucking air like marathon runners, breathing hard into each other's faces. Jeremy weakly leaned up to let Michael's legs fall to either side of him, then collapsed on top of him, pulling out. Michael gasped at the emptiness he left behind. It had never been that good before, not ever.

For a split second, no more... He had a thought, let it go. No.

He laid his hand on the boy's back, over the wild fluttering inside, waiting for it to slow. Jeremy laid flat over him and other than the rising and falling of his ribs didn't move.

The birds on the other side of the window began to chirp again. When enough time had passed the boy stirred, pushing himself off Michael's chest and over to his side on one elbow. Coolness filled the air between them. Jeremy looked down at his lover and smiled.

"That was, oh my God, wow..." He grinned and blew damp hair from his eye. "I don't know what to call it. In-fucking-credible." He leaned over and kissed Michael on the mouth. "Memorable, that's for sure. I will definitely take that with me wherever I go, for forever. God..."

Michael smiled. "You don't know how glad I am to hear that, Jeremy," he replied. "You're a great guy, and I'm so happy right now... Happy we met, everything.

"This weekend could have been about nothing but death and losing things, and it's turned into this instead. I could-" He stopped, corrected. "I wish I could really describe how I feel right now."

He'd checked himself just then. What had he been about to say? Nothing. Old habits.

Michael sat up, grabbed the robe from the foot of the bed and wiped the lube from his stomach and hands. Not that the fullness in his gut would let him forget, but some time soon he'd have to run-

"I wanna do the same for you, man." Jeremy said lazily. "In fact I bet I can." He dug under them and pulled out three silver foil packets in a chain, held them up between his thumb and forefinger. "That was incredible, and I think being on the receiving end of making you feel that good, couldn't possibly hurt me."

Michael raised one eyebrow. "Don't bet the farm on that."

Jeremy leaned his head close to Michael's ear, near enough to tickle it as he spoke. "That's for me to worry about," he whispered. Michael heard foil crinkle somewhere below. "Thanks for letting me do it without a rubber, and letting me come inside you. That was amazing. Oh my God, I'd let you do the same if I thought you'd let me. But since you won't..."

To be so young.

The boy's head moved down and he put his mouth over Michael's right nipple, planting his lips around it and sucking it between his teeth. He nibbled it lightly, making it stand and firm up. Michael slowly closed his eyes and sighed as the boy continued chewing at the hard little eraser while his hands worked unseen.

Then Michael felt a warm fist wrap around his dick and slowly stroke it up and down. Steel got even harder and in a moment another other hand crowned his dick with one of the condoms and began unrolling it. All ten fingers slid along the shaft, smearing wetness and smoothing out the latex enclosing him tight from top to bottom.

Jeremy pulled his lips from Michael's chest, and after one last bite he straightened up and lifted one leg to straddle his partner's body. He worked his knees into Michael's armpits and wriggled his warm butt into position on top of his lap. His dick and balls settled on Michael's stomach. Ready, steady-

Not quite. "God, you feel big back there," the boy marveled uncertainly. His waist rose and fell, tugging the head of Michael's sensitive cock with it. With every stroke-

Oh shit.

Michael couldn't move. He was so near already and he could feel the edge of the cliff getting closer. It had been sooo damn-

"Stop, stop, stop," he asked. Jeremy tensed and then slowly leaned up and put a hand on either side of Michael's chest to support himself. "I'm going to- I mean, this is incredible but I haven't done this..."

Jeremy tossed the hair out of his face. "S'okay, I get it." He bent further up, releasing Michael's dick into the air behind him, and slowly laid his head on his partner's chest. "How's this?"

Michael put his arms over Jeremy's back. "Great. Thank you." They stayed like that for a long minute, their breaths slowing and the older man's almost painful erection subsiding.

Michael looked up at the texture of the ceiling, past the sweaty tangle of dark hair on his cheek. He realized how many distinct scents he could pick out of the air: last night's candle, the lube they seemed to be swimming in, the scent of the sheets they were on, the oils of Jeremy's body. That had been close.

Without raising his head, the boy said "You're not gonna hurt me, you know. Don't be afraid."

Michael traced the ridge of Jeremy's spine with one hand. "I'm not."

"I don't believe you," he heard after a second. "I'm sorry I didn't give you any time before I started," Jeremy said. "Was that it?"

"Come on, it was-"

"Or are you scared of something?" Michael didn't answer. "Just doing this one thing won't make me like those guys you were talking about last night."

"This isn't just one thing, doctor, it's a whole package. And that's still not it. I'm out of practice."

"And I still don't believe you. This is like those Fifties health films for teenagers that told them taking one puff would lead to them dying of a heroin overdose in the gutter some day."

Michael laughed, making Jeremy's head shift. "Shut up, it is not."

"The little piece of Sheila in my brain disagrees." He pushed up from Michael's chest, hands over both his pecs again. His ass slid backward over the softening cock under under him and comfortably covered it.

Jeremy smiled, his beautiful blue eyes reflecting windows and snow. "I thought you were right last night and I wasn't ready, but it really was both of us, wasn't it?" He didn't wait for a reply. "Don't be scared. To me the most important part has already happened. What we do next is, umm..."

"Icing on the cake?"

"Hah. Best icing ever. Totally non-fattening, man. But it's your cake, not mine, and I'm letting you, you aren't forcing me into any of this. So it's not gonna traumatize me. It won't turn me into a drunken hooker or whatever scares you most at your bars."

"That would be the drag queens, actually."

Jeremy barked his single laugh. "Fucking you, Michael-" He clenched the cheeks of his ass together to began slowly massaging the older man's dick again. "-will definitely not make me a drag queen. If anything it'll just give me a taste for big-"

Soft but getting harder, kneading into the groove...


Forty-five degrees up, he was working it harder still...

"-dicks like yours. Not a bad thing."

We have lift-off.

"Dude, let's go, you said fifty times. We got forty-nine more to go!"

"All right," Michael agreed. He steadied himself on the bed, started to tighten his stomach muscles and work his hips up between the younger ones sitting on his. He slid into the furry cleft of Jeremy's ass, his cock surrounded by the two soft mounds. They molded around it as it filled, making a slick channel leading so near his goal he could feel its heat burning through the rubber.

Michael rocked them both, and the look on Jeremy's face melted with every push. The boy picked up his rhythm and swayed over him as if they were already fucking.

"Ooooh, maaan," Jeremy laughed. "Don't stop that!"

They started to sweat again in the cool air of the bedroom. Michael could see a sheen of oil on the boy's pale chest. He slid both palms along Jeremy's sides into his armpits and then further up to his shoulders. Michael pulled him down as he raised his head, mouth open. Jeremy met him halfway and they kissed hungrily.

As Jeremy leaned forward, they got the same idea. Their hands met behind the boy's back, on top of Michael's cock. Working together they kept it in place and aimed where it wanted to go. The very tip of it sank into the boy, then out again. They shuddered and moaned as one.

"Feels so good, Michael. Gimme more, keep going," the boy said into his mouth.

They broke apart far enough for Michael to breathe "You are delicious." Sweet salt and spit ran into his mouth. Tasting them he grabbed the back of Jeremy's neck and roughly pulled him closer. He felt just the head of his dick sink inside. They broke again. "Uhhn, God, damn me."

They continued like that, Jeremy's hips tethered to his and the boy moaning like he was somehow being tortured. Michael ran his hands down the hairy thighs on either side of him, across the waves of muscle riding him. Jeremy sat back, arching his back and taking a deep breath as he did. His new erection pointed at the ceiling and dripped a pool of precome onto the older man's stomach.

Michael smiled, thinking You're in heaven. You'll never be in this spot, never again, not if you live to a hundred years.

Then both arms in under Jeremy and between them, between his legs. One hand to take hold of his own dick and the other up into the hair and grease covering the boy's ass. Jeremy bent over again and lifted his hips just enough to give him access, but not much more.

Michael bit into the cord of his shoulder, softly. More sweat. The kid begged, "I mean it, dude. Do it." His balls and butt were still hovering just over everything beneath, trying too hard to connect himself, still too close to get under. Michael flexed two fingers upward and straightened his arm. Jeremy lifted up like a car on a jack and threw his head back.


"You like that?" Michael held himself steady.


He smoothed the delicate bump of anus with his fingers from inside and out, coating it with more of the lube leaking from his fist. He pulled his hand out and reached around to hold on to Jeremy's hip as well as he could.

"Remember, relax. And if it hurts say the word."

"I'm okay, I'm fine," the boy nodded. "Tell me what the eff I'm supposed to do, to relax?"

"Okay, it sounds disgusting, but when I'm on my way in, bear down like you're going to the bathroom."

The kid turned his head and long damp hair swung into his face, strings of it in his mouth. "Ugh."

"I know. Sorry." Michael guided himself up to the door until there was no further to go.

Jeremy breathed in deeply and Michael felt the flesh against his fist swell as the boy pressed backward.

He spat out "Hell with it. Now! Go now, now, now- Awwww!" Jeremy gasped like he was being split in half.

Michael's eyes snapped open, just in time to see Jeremy's face as he entered him. It was sublime. He slowed himself, not only to make it easier on the boy but to draw the moment out.

"Aww god, oh god, oh god, ohhhh..." As Michael raised up and pulled Jeremy down onto himself, the boy looked like he was being taken to another world far away, like his chest was about to burst. Like the extra inside him was too much for his body to take.

Michael's cock was surrounded by smooth virginal warmth, the tightest space he could imagine being inside. Every inch of him was alive and connected to Jeremy like no other way possible. His cock felt electric, like it had taken root inside the boy and was feeding from his energy, every part of him, holding them together while they struggled and fucked.

One hard thrust up, and Michael looked into Jeremy's face to see how he'd take it. Wet hair dragged and hid the boy's forehead and neck. His face was bright red and damp with perspiration, his eyes rolled back and his mouth wide in either joy or pain.

Joy. He smiled and the hands on Michael's chest twisted his muscles, rubbing his already-hard nipples raw.

Pain. Jeremy frowned and hunched his back, hurting Michael's ribs as his legs squeezed together. He drew his knees closer in jerks, to open his asshole wider. The frown dissolved into a grin. He dropped his head and made a noise Michael couldn't remember ever hearing before.

It inflamed the older man more and he penetrated as far into Jeremy as he could, up and up until it felt like his dick was about to come out the boy's navel.

It threw Jeremy off balance. He cried out and his grasp on Michael's chest became painful. His stomach clenched and he began breathing deeper, from the back of his throat. Michael moved both hands to his hips and held him there impaled for a moment, then gently lifted up. Jeremy sighed.

They began to fuck in earnest. Michael knew it wouldn't last long. He rocked the boy up and back, mastering him with the clench and release of every muscle in the older man's forearms and legs. Jeremy sighed again and again, faster, until he was moaning, mouth open, like a Pentecostal ready for Jesus.

The boy pushed the curtain of hair out of his face, then moved his hand down his front to land at his crotch. He gripped his dick but didn't stroke it, only held onto it while his body spasmed against its invasion.

Michael glanced down and saw Jeremy was seconds away from going again, even though he'd never touched himself. Icing on the cake, bullshit. The head of his dick was huge, swelled with blood and leaking come onto Michael's belly by the tablespoons.

Knowing he was that close, that the explosion inside the boy would push Jeremy over too-

Knowing that Jeremy shooting his load over Michael would push him further-

That the two of them coming together would be ecstasy-

The older man went over the cliff.

He fell and fell, and Jeremy jumped after him. They both cried out as they went.

Michael thought he could never stop, that the double heartbeat throbbing at the root of their connection would go on forever. Foamy white come and lube squeezed out the bottom of the condom until his pubes and balls and Jeremy's ass were soaked with it. At the same time, he felt warm rain spatter on his cheeks and neck and lips as his partner came onto him and said his name over and over.

They fell, and when they landed they died together.


Or at least, that was what it felt like. To Michael.

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