This story was written as an experiment and as "therapy" at a time when I was at a cusp in my life, and I'd realised that closets are pretty lonely and started inviting other people inside. Some of those people drew my attention to the handle on my side of the door, and I've taken a few peeks outside.
Special thanks to It's Only Me from Across the Sea for hosting this story, and to him and my friend Flopot for encouraging me to do it!
This story contains explicit descriptions of sexual acts between the characters in it. Although the characters are teenagers who may be below the age of consent in the country or state where this is read, nothing written here should be taken as approval of, or encouragement for, sexual liaisons between people where such liaisons are either illegal, or objectionable for moral reasons. Although this story does not include safe sex practices, it is everyone's own responsibility to themselves and to each other to engage only in PROTECTED SEX. It is a story. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Nothing represented here is based on any fact known to the author.
The story is copyright 2001 by "Feangol". If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the web address of http://www.iomfats.org present, and also the email address of firstname.lastname@example.org. I'd love to receive feedback.
Sunday passed all too quickly as it always does, and school on Monday got off to a really bad start for me when I had a run in with my Maths teacher who I had managed to avoid for a week. I got a lunchtime detention for not doing the current set of homework, and an after school detention for missing the last lunchtime. I felt like telling him if he could teach the subject properly I might be able to do the homework, but that's the sort of thing we all dream about but we could never say. His lessons were terminally boring and the whole thing was so soul numbing I managed to feel very lonely sitting there in a room of 30 people. Maths I just didn't get at all. I.T. was equally annoying but for another reason. I was good at computers, and I'm pretty sure that in many cases I genuinely knew more than the teacher. But she was such an annoying cow, you couldn't say anything without her jumping on it and twisting it. I was afraid to open my mouth in her classes, and just got on with my work. Class contribution zero, but attainment - straight A's. My parents said that most of the other mums and dads agreed she was the most annoying teacher at the school. For someone who didn't know what she was talking about, she still seemed to be able to talk for hours about it. She was always late for lessons and we always overran and ended up late for other teachers and got into trouble for it. To say she was universally unpopular would be an understatement. Fortunately our school was lucky to have lots of very good teachers, and most other subjects ranged from ok to actually good fun.
During the afternoon I saw Chris and asked him to get a message to Judy suggesting she come round Saturday. It hit me Monday night as I packed my bags that tomorrow would be Kayaking again. I was looking forward to it, but worried and excited about seeing Luke again. My stomach was churning and I didn't think I was going to sleep well.
I dreamt about Luke that night, and I woke up from a sublimely peaceful dream feeling well rested. As I tried to remember it, the dream fragmented and dissolved and I was left just remembering Luke and feeling safe and happy. Perhaps if I could keep myself under control we could manage to be friends. I had a date with a girl on the weekend so I was obviously just getting paranoid before.
I was in such an unusually good mood that morning my mum commented on it. I couldn't answer her question, knowing deep in my heart that the reason I was happy was that I would be with Luke this afternoon, but feeling confusion because of what that meant. But for the moment the anticipation of seeing him outshone the brooding shadows of my heart, and I convinced myself that it was Kayaking I was looking forward to.
During the day I was unable to contain my growing excitement. I found myself looking for him in the corridors at school, where previously I had been avoiding him. Finally it came to lunchtime and I couldn't wait for the official start of afternoon lessons, and took my bag down to the boathouse and sat on the grass behind it. Soon the effects of sitting in the open sun started getting to me, and I stretched out using my bag as a pillow. I lay there lapping up the sun and eventually the first rowers came down and joined me waiting out the back for the boat house to be opened. The head rowing coach appeared with Sylvia and unlocked the boat house so they could go in and change. I elected to wait for the rush to past. Oh, and because I wanted to see Luke.
Mr Watson arrived and tagging along with him was Luke. I jumped up and said hi to them both. Mr Watson went inside and Luke and I stood grinning at each other.
"Hi stranger" said Luke
"Hey" I said. Well this was going well. A day of excitement seemed to be more effective at screwing this up than the previous week of hiding.
"How you doing" Luke said. "I've not seen you for ages - I thought you might have been off sick or something?" he looked a bit worried.
"No I'm fine - just been busy I suppose" I answered, but couldn't help looking down at my feet, feeling a bit ashamed. I suddenly realised how close we were standing. There were only a few inches between my toes and his.
"Glad your ok then." he smiled. "Come on then lets get changed bud. Mr Watson wants me to work with you as my special project as you're a bit behind the others."
"He wants you to get your qualification I suppose" I commented
"Well... I sort of suggested it to him" Luke flushed slightly.
"Come on!" he laughed. I followed him into the changing rooms.
Most of the rowers had already changed but there were a handful still in the process as we walked in. We moved opposite them and got changed. I had brought some proper swimming shorts this time and stripped right off before putting them on. Out of the corner of my eye I felt Luke watching me and was somehow pleased. If a guy with that body was checking me out I can't be doing too bad. I fished out my p.e. vest, noticing that Luke also wore a vest top - but his was a Nike brand. Then it occurred to me.
"Luke how come you get the same games afternoons as me and your in a different year?"
"Oh, I should have p.e and then double IT. I had Harper last year and my uncle had an argument with her and went to the head and got me off IT this year. Hughes agreed I could do kayaking instead of pe. So here I am. "
"Cool - what happened with Harper and your uncle?"
"Ah shit it's a long story but basically she slagged of some stuff I'd done, but she didn't know my uncle had helped me with it. Anyway she wrote a load of crap all over it and when I got it back you could hardly see the original with all the red pen all over it."
"Yeah I know how that goes" I interjected, frowning and feeling angry on behalf of my friend.
"Anyway, so I took it to my uncle and he went ballistic. Took it in and told her she needed to get her head out of her arse basically."
"I don't get it - I mean how come the head let you off I.T."
We left the changing room and said hi to a couple of the kayaking group who were just arriving.
"My uncle said he'd teach me himself. Something to do with my uncle being Professor of Computer Science at the university and everyone telling the Headmaster all the time that Harper knows shit"
We both laughed. Score one for the good guys. I wanted to hear more but Mr Watson came round the back and said that we could sort our boats out while we waited for him and his group to get on the water.
Luke and I walked round and helped each other get the kayaks out. We had to adjust them again because they had been used by other groups since last week, but this time Luke had remembered what notch mine had to be set on so we both quickly fixed our own boats out on the bank, and since we were early we had beaten the Rowers. We picked up our buoyancy aids and I struggled zipping mine up, looking out at the river and not really concentrating. Suddenly there were arms around me from behind and I tensed, thinking I was about to be pushed in.
"Hehe its ok let me help you" Luke laughed. I realised he was trying to help me do up my buoyancy aid, and I stood there in front of him hardly breathing while he got the zip started off and then pulled it up. It needed some force and the strength of his embrace was both masculine and reassuring. All too quickly he had done it and his arms were gone. I stood there more confused over this boy than ever.
Mr Watson had most of his group assembled and he took them out onto the water, shouting instructions to a straggler who had just arrived at the boathouse. As before, Luke got into his boat and then assisted me in. I was conscious of his every touch as he helped me. This time I knew what to do, and was a little less tense as I got in which made it easier. After a bit of a "moment" as I pushed off the bank I remembered to keep the boat balanced by spreading my legs. Luke took me back over the stuff we'd covered the previous week, and after a bit of a slow start I began to remember and improve.
All went well, until when I was practicing a steering technique where you had to put your paddle in behind you I unbalanced as I twisted around and fell in the water again. I'd been half expecting it a few times and this time found the surface quickly and was quite glad of the cool water because I'd been working quite hard and was very hot. Luke paddled over and was a reassuring sight, his initial concern replaced by good humour as he realised I was ok. We repeated the rescue from last week, and now I knew what to do I was back in my boat in good time.
"Doh!" I said simply, smiling at him as we caught our breath.
"Hehe its ok" Luke laughed "You aren't falling in as much as some people. Besides I'm damn hot - its not such a bad idea." He grinned, and pushing me away from him he flung himself over and capsized.
"Luke!" I shouted, and the anguish and panic in my voice was accompanied by a feeling of cold terror. I saw his paddle flail out of the water. "Oh my god, he's stuck in his boat" I thought, "what do I do?" Tears sprang to my eyes and I opened my mouth to call Mr Watson's name when incredibly Lukes paddle made a powerful stroke and somehow - quite miraculously it seemed to me, like someone had reversed the video of him falling in - Luke launched himself back upright out of the water.
I sat there, stunned and not a little traumatised, with a few tears rolling down my cheeks.
"Oh thankyou god, thankyou" I was whispering aloud as Luke flashed me a cocky grin. Immediately his faced changed to concern, and self-disgust as he realised he'd worried me.
"Shit sorry, Sam" he said frowning "I should have warned you. Its ok, its ok" he said, pulling my boat towards him and stroking my arm when I didn't respond.
"I thought you were going to drown or something I didn't know what to do" I said, my throat tight as I tried to hold back any further tears.
"Fuck I'm sorry Sam" he said again, looking very embarrassed.
"Its ok" I said, trying to get a grip of myself "You'll just have to teach me what to do when stuff like that happens."
He smiled. "Well you don't need to worry too much about me, but I really do want to show you some support strokes - so you can stop yourself if you start to tip in."
"Ok that sounds cool" I said, genuinely enthusiastic at the idea of being able to stop what currently seemed an inevitable process. I sniffed and wiped my eyes with the back of my had hastily, realising I had probably over-reacted.
"Yeah.. only thing is its not such a great thing to do here. There's a place further upstream we can go to where there's a shallow part we can use and it saves a lot of time if you fall in."
"Ok lets go!" I said, but he frowned. "What's up?" I asked
"Well its going to take a while to get there and we don't have enough time today."
"Oh. Well maybe next week?"
"Yeah, except I'm thinking Watson won't like us going out of his sight. I could always like ask him if he could take the group up there but..." he trailed off. I realised what he might have been about to say.
"It would be more fun just you and me" I said, nodding. He rewarded me with a grin which I matched - I'd obviously guessed right.
He sat lost in thought for a moment, and I could almost see the light-bulb above his head when he smiled. "Got it!"
"I'll ask Watson if I can borrow the key this weekend. He's let me before." Luke said
It was a great feeling to make a plan together, and we resumed our lesson with energy, and not a little horseplay and splashing. We stayed out as long as we could but Mr Watson called us in from the bank all too soon, and we reluctantly paddled back in. Luke was allowed to borrow a key for the weekend when he explained he was just taking me up to the shallow part upstream. Mr Watson's attitude was that he didn't mind so long as boys never went out alone, and only asked for a letter from our parents indicating that they were happy with us doing so. He already had a letter from Luke's mum so I just had to take one in from mine before the weekend.
After we'd disposed of the kit in the boathouse I realised as we walked into the changing rooms out the back that I'd got a boner with anticipation of the showers. Fortunately there was no one there but Luke's sharp eyes noticed my tented out shorts.
"Is that a kayak in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me" he smiled, mis-quoting the clichéd line with a silly accent.
"Heh like you don't get them too" I mumbled, with a husky voice like I had to cough.
"Don't worry - I've seen it all before" said Luke.
"Yeah not er that is .. well without clothes on though" I said. "I might just um .. skip the shower maybe"
"Nah if it bothers you that much we'll take turns, I've got one too now" he laughed, blushing. I looked down - he certainly had. I quickly looked away, my face flushing to match his.
"Uh its ok" I said, in that same husky voice. "Um well we can just not look or something" I said. Dammit I felt so horny.
We walked into the shower and I was shaking as I pushed the button at the shower head next to Luke's to turn the water on. I tried not to look at him as I took off my vest, and heard him throwing his off. I hesitated about removing my shorts then turned my back to him, and slipped them off. God I hoped no one was going to come in. At least we'd hear the outside door go first, I realised. I heard another wet slap from behind me and realised that Luke must have removed his shorts. I stood there letting the warm water wash over me, and busied myself soaping up. Rather than taking my mind off it, it reminded me of my session at home in the shower, and my dick was so hard it was quivering to the rhythm of my rapid heartbeat.
"Shit - can I borrow your shower gel?" Luke's voice startled me.
"Er sure ok" I said and half turned to hand it to him. I couldn't see his hand, turned further and saw his smiling face and somehow forgot to stop turning. My eyes were instantly drawn down to his cock as I faced him. It was substantially bigger than mine, and every bit as hard as mine was. I was hypnotised by its twitches as he moved and breathed. Luke took a step towards me to take my gel off me, and I looked up in his face. He looked steadily into my eyes, and I felt my soul was diving into his blue depths. He had a slight smile and was breathing as rapidly as I was, I noticed. I handed him the gel and he took it, but neither of us moved. I blushed and looked away. I was a little disappointed somehow when he moved back under his shower.
My mind was a whirl, and I'd never felt so horny in my life. I watched him soaping up, and it was more than I could bear. I closed my eyes briefly while took a deep breath, then almost ran over to my towel. I hastily dried off, forcing my mind not to think about how beautiful his skin looked as he ran his soapy hands over it. I caught my cock a few times with the towel, my foreskin just exposing enough of the sensitive head underneath that the occasional brush of the towel as I dried providing stimulation that I almost resented, causing me to gasp. I didn't dry properly and as I ran back into the changing area I slipped and fell on the wet floor, crying out as I landed with such force I was stunned.
Luke was there, his arms around me. I was safe, I was ok. Luke was here. Stroking my hair, fussing over me.
"Are you ok?" the question finally sunk in
"Mmm" I groaned a little as I tried to stand up. Luke helped me stand, and we stood there with his arms locked around my back under my armpits, our chests touching and oh god my dick - which had gone soft after the fall - was getting hard again. I started moving back and slipped a little.
"Steady" said Luke, and pulled me back in towards him, and I felt my penis brush his thigh, sending a shiver through my body. I flushed with guilt.
"Oh god sorry Luke" I said looking down, noticing that he was no longer erect.
"Shh don't worry lets just sit you down so you can get your breath back" he said and helped me over to the bench. I sat there with my head in my hands. What the hell was the matter with me? I felt humiliated, not just by the fall but by that forbidden contact.
"Are you ok bud? Anything bruised?" he asked.
"Just my pride I think" I mumbled, desperate for him not to hate me. I was a bit shaken by the fall I realised, and was trembling a little.
"Come on dry off and get dressed - you look cold," he said, fetching my towel over and wrapping it round me, rubbing my back through the material. He was so kind, looking after me like my big brother.
I proceeded to dress in silence, feeling very ashamed. I wasn't entirely sure what I was ashamed about, but I felt like I'd done something wrong.
"Sorry Luke, I'm such an idiot sometimes" I said.
"No your not," he said immediately. "I think your pretty cool actually."
I looked up from buttoning my shirt and saw him looking at me with a strange expression. Maybe he was a bit pissed off with me I thought. But his words were kind and I thought how wonderfully patient he was - even when the little baby fell over and hurt himself.
"Thanks" I said simply.
We both finished dressing and left the changing rooms. Everyone else had long gone and the school was quiet as we walked back up to the bike sheds.
"So are you ok then?" Luke asked. We hadn't spoken during our walk, but it hadn't felt an awkward silence.
"Yeah" I said. I was still hurting from the fall, and my leg was bothering me a bit, but pain was just one of many feelings boys don't admit to.
"Ok well ... I mean are you ok to cycle home? Want me to come with you just in case you um .. like pass out or something." He asked.
I realised that I didn't want to say goodbye just then, and I was still feeling shaken up about the hard fall.
"Nah its probably miles out of your way" I said. Stupid. Why did I say that, it wasn't what I meant?
"Well where do you live? Its not a problem and I got my bike anyway" he said
"Alpine Way, just behind the park." I answered.
"Really? Cool we're only about 2 miles apart then. 10 minutes ride - no worries."
We found our bikes and unchained them. When we started cycling I realised I had hurt my leg in the fall worse than I had thought, but I was able to compensate enough. Luke was concerned about me of course, and wanted to call my mum to get me but it really wasn't that bad. I didn't resent his concern like I might have if he had been one of my parents clucking and fussing, instead it made me feel warm and grateful to have him as my friend. Certainly having a friend from the year above made me feel special but more than that, having such a good-looking boy actually want to spend time with me was amazing. I knew he was popular from some digging around I'd done last week.
We arrived at my house, and unlocked the garage and put my bike inside. Then I realised my manners.
"Would you like to come in for a drink or something?" I asked, not expecting that he would want to.
"Sure!" he answered. I felt something do a little joyous jump inside me.
"Ok well bring your bike in here for now" I said and pulled the door down once he had come inside. The internal door was unlocked as mum was home, and we went on through to the kitchen.
"Hi mum" I called as I closed the door.
"Hi darling one sec" I heard her call down from upstairs.
"What you want to drink?" I asked Luke, opening the fridge.
"Coke or something?"
"Sure no problem." I said, hooking two cans out and closing the fridge door. I was supposed to replace them from the box in the cupboard but I usually couldn't be bothered.
My mum came in the kitchen and I introduced Luke.
"Oh Luke, yes I've heard all about you. You're the amazing canoeist ...."
"Kayaker!" we both chorused.
"...kayaker" my mum laughed and continued. "According to Sam you saved his life last week" she smiled, knowing that she was teasing me in front of my friend. "We even had a demonstration" She added. Well maybe I had been a bit over-enthusiastic at the time.
"And today too mum" I said, determined not to be embarrassed. "AND I fell over in the changing rooms and hurt my leg a bit so Luke came home with me to make sure I was ok." I was aware of Luke going extremely red beside me. Well it was true -it seemed only right that someone else heard about his kindness.
"That's very sweet of you Luke, thank you." My mum said. Luke was looking a bit awkward and she added "Why don't the two of you go up to your room, Sam? I'm just going to put the hoover round down here."
We went upstairs and Luke sat on the bed. It was weird seeing him in my room and he looked different wearing school clothes (or any clothes I mentally added). I winced when my left leg hurt as I sat on my computer chair opposite him.
"You ok?" Luke asked as I squeezed the back of my thigh.
"Yeah I think I just twisted it when I fell" I said, "probably just a pulled muscle"
"Come here and lie on your front on the bed" Luke said, standing up and offering me a hand. I let him pull me up before I wondered what he was thinking. He saw the hesitation in my face.
"Its ok bud, lie down and I'll massage it a bit. Maybe it will help it loosen up" he said
I wasn't totally convinced but stopping only to put some music on to drown out the sounds of the hoover downstairs, I did as he suggested. Luke began to squeeze the back of my thigh with gentle but firm hands as I breathed into my pillow.
"Is that about the right place?" he asked as he worked the middle of the muscle.
"Mm its ok" I answered. It was more than ok actually.
"Might be better if you want to take your trousers off" he suggested.
I blushed, but thought he was probably right. The material was a bit scratchy.
"Ok," I said and rolled onto my back and swung my legs over the side to stand up, but bending my leg was painful.
"Ouch you ok mate?" Luke asked when I failed to hold back a small cry of pain.
"It just really hurts when I bend it," I explained.
"Hmm. Ok, well stay there and undo the top and I'll get your shoes off then I can pull them by the bottoms, and you don't have to bend or anything.
"Ok," I said, and undid my trousers while Luke pulled off my shoes. I leant back while he tugged at the bottoms, and they slid off my skinny hips easily and he pulled them right off. I was intensely struck by the connotations of another boy helping me undress, and Luke laughed at my red face.
"Ok roll over and let me have my wicked way with you" he joked. My eyes must have gone out on stalks and he redoubled his laughter which set me off giggling too, as I resumed my position on my front.
"Ok about here?" he asked as I felt his hands start sliding over my thigh.
"It was a bit higher" I said without thinking, and he chuckled.
"I'll bet" he muttered to himself, but I felt his hands move up just under my buttock. His reaction made me aware that this was now a more intimate place his hands were working, and I felt myself become aroused at being touched in a place where I was totally unused to being touched. I groaned into my pillow with frustration as I realised that this was all getting very gay again, and at the same time just wished his fingers would stray a little more inside my thigh, a little higher.
He startled me by smacking my buttocks through my underpants. My dick jumped in reaction.
"Ok mate if that hasn't fixed it maybe we should tell your mum."
"MMmmm mmm its ok" I mumbled, my face firmly pressed into my pillow.
"Yeah well just rest it tonight I suppose." He said, constantly thinking about me. "Come on up you get!" he said, and rolled me over by my shoulder before I could stop him, exposing my hard-on inside my pants. I looked down and confirmed that it was obvious, and what's more there was a damp patch at the end. Embarrassed, I tried to sit up and Luke helped me by pulling on one arm, with his other hand behind my shoulder. Then he stopped pulling and I was there on my bed, being held upright by him, looking into his eyes, smelling his warm body through his thin white cotton shirt, seeing the contours of his chest where it touched the translucent white material.
"Sam..." he started to say, his voice thick and tight
Oh no, he's mad at me for being queer all the time, I thought. He keeps trying to help me and this is how I repay him - getting a boner, letting myself get turned on by him. I was thoroughly disgusted with myself in that instant - I was spoiling this friendship by my perverted thoughts and I'd annoyed him.
"Its ok Luke," I interrupted. "I think maybe I hit my head or something when I fell, I'm feeling a bit weird." I pulled away from him and stood up, and tried to pull my trousers on. Luke caught me when I almost fell, but I managed to get them on. We were both standing now, and I had to look up slightly as he was a few inches taller than me.
"So, maybe I better go then" Luke said, sounding a little pissed off. God I was such an idiot.
"Ok yeah, if you want..." I said, trying not to sound too bothered either way, but too used to Luke being in charge to try to impose my wishes.
He paused, and lowered his head a little as he turned, then suddenly stopped and spoke.
"Oh in case I don't see you again this week," he said, somewhat bitterly and without facing me "you want to get together Saturday afternoon then?"
I remembered we were supposed to be kayaking this weekend, then realised I'd made a commitment with Judy.
"Ah shit I can't." I said angrily, then realised I could prove I wasn't being queer earlier. "I have a date with Judy Parsons"
"What?" he said, weakly his voice almost cracking. He looked at me with such a hurt expression on his face I had obviously upset him. I was taken aback, not expecting such a strong reaction. He turned at walked downstairs to the garage door. I could hear my mum hoovering on the other side of the house. I followed him quickly as I was able to with my tender leg, starting to feel pretty angry with myself now.
"Yeah um sorry, hey maybe we could do Sunday?" I said and he didn't answer, but went on out to his bike in the garage.
I helped him open the door when he started struggling with holding his bike and working the door with one hand.
"Luke I'm sorry I've been a dick today" I said as I hopped around him and his bike, trying to keep up with his determined exodus.
"No, you haven't. I have." He answered, as he walked out the garage.
"What?," I said astonished "You've been amazing Luke, looking after me and everything. Please don't be cross with me?" I pleaded.
He looked up but wouldn't meet my eyes, and I realised there were tears in his. I was really fucking this up big time.
"Can I paddle with you on Sunday instead? I really want to" I asked, almost whining like a little kid.
He paused with his back to me. He was so cross at me, I could tell. All because of my stupid teenage hormones.
"Ok Sunday," he said, and as he pedalled off added in a hoarse voice "and you can tell me all about your hot date."
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