"I just don't get it sometimes. I mean, she is supposed to be my best friend and everything but she just treats me like crap. Alex hasn't been a friend to me for a long time now. Wonder how she would feel if I wasn't around anymore. My parents wouldn't mind too much, I mean they don't like having a son that is gay anyways. I don't think they would miss me too much. I wish that there was a spell that I could use to transport me somewhere else. God, what I would give anything to be in the AngelVerse. I mean, Angel's gay, well vampires don't care about gay and straight, Angel just cares about love and that's the way that it should be. And he has friends that care about him and don't talk about him like he's beneath them. I would give anything to be there. I think that tonight I'm going to work on a spell to get me there. It shouldn't be too hard. Just a few good rhymes," I thought to myself as I sat on my bed.
"Got it," I said to myself as I finished the spell and closed my door and began to chant.
The line between Space and Time
Allow me to cross it with this rhyme
Send me to the AngelVerse
Before life here gets any worse
When I said the last word, I figured it hadn't worked since I was no where but in my room but then I felt dizzy. Falling to the floor, I blacked out.
"Mom," I said, slowly opening my eyes after having blacked out from that damn spell to find someone dabbing my forehead with a damp cloth. "Woe," I said when I opened my eyes to see the lobby of the Hyperion. "It worked. I can't believe that it worked."
"What worked? And who exactly are you?" Angel asked, walking up to stand tall in front of me.
"Easy big guy, I aint a demon or a vampire or anything, no offense," I said to Angel.
"You know he's a vampire?"
"Yeah, okay, everyone gather 'round cause this is going to be a fascinating tale for the watcher's journals, eh Wes," I said and everyone listened as I told my story.
"So let me get this straight. You're a witch from another universe where our lives are a television show and you've been watching us for six years?" Wesley asked.
"Yeah. I just couldn't take living in my universe anymore. You don't know how it is, living life the way someone wants you to. My parents didn't even like me all because... because of one little reason. Nothing that could endanger any of you so I don't think it really matters. My best friend of over eight years was recently staring to treat me like I was worse than trash. I had to come here. I saw how you guys got along even though the big guy here is a vampire. Cordy, you're part demon yet people don't look down upon you. I mean no offense to you or Angel by the way. I respect everyone here more than anything. Even before I came here, you all have been my friends. I could turn on the tv and watch you guys and well, it gave me hope that one day, my universe would be that way. Happily coexisting with one another but I just couldn't take it anymore. Listen, I'm kinda tired, do you think that I can stay here? I don't have any money but I could help you guys. I've been watching Angel fight for years and know how to fight and everything."
"Well, we'll talk about you joining our fight in the morning, right now, let me show you to your room," Cordy said and we made for the stairs and then into the elevator.
"Actually, Cordy, I'd rather be on the fifth floor, if that's alright," I said and when the doors opened onto the fifth floor, I walked out first. "Let's see, Angel's in room 518 so I want 519."
I wanted 519 because it was across and down the hall a little from Angel's room.
"No real reason for wanting this room except that it's close to Angel's and he's the big protector and just being closer to him makes me feel safer. Cordy, I'd like to tell you why my parents don't like me. Well, it's because..." I began but then Angel walked off of the elevator so I moved closer to Cordy to whisper in her ear. "I'm gay."
"Oh, don't worry. So is Angel," she said and I knew he heard because I watched as Cordelia made her way down the hall and into the elevator and once she was gone, Angel came over to my room.
"Angel is what?"
"Nothing. Not to say that you're nothing. You're definitely something, it's just I told Cordy why my parent's don't like me and well, it seems that if you lived in my house, my parents wouldn't like you for the same reason."
"In time, would you feel comfortable enough to tell what that reason is?"
"In time, big guy. In time," I said and he smiled and walked out of the room and across the hall.
After Angel left and went back to his room, I found some paper and a pen in one of the drawer's in the bedroom and began writing a journal.
I can't believe that I'm here. I mean, not even twenty four hours ago, I was being yelled at by my Mom and now, well, now I am in the Hyperion, not twenty feet from Angel's room. I told Cordelia that I'm gay and she told me that Angel is too. I knew that but still, hearing it made it more exciting.
I hope to be able to talk to Cordy tomorrow and get to know her a bit better.
I'm glad to be here. Life here is going to be better than at home. At least if I'm here, I'll be part of something. I wasn't part of anything at home except the group of the sad and lonely.
I guess I'm gonna turn in for now. Can't wait to get up in the morning. Not like at home where I would dread getting up in the morning.
Putting the papers and pen in the desk, I crawled under the warm black velvet cover and fell into the best sleep I had ever had.
I woke early and conjured me some sweat pants and a muscle shirt. I was going to go down to the basement to train but didn't expect to see Angel there when I got there.
"God he looks good," I thought to myself as I stood at the top of the stairs, watching him as he moved, moved with the gracefulness of a lion.
"Are you going to just stand there?" he asked, not looking at me.
"Forgot how fine-tuned vampiric senses are. I was just going to come down here to get in a workout but if you're busy, I'll come back later," I said and was about to make my way out but he called me back.
"Wait. Train with me?" he asked.
"Sure but I want to get something first," I said and I turned and made my way over to the weapon's cabinet, grabbing two swords, I made my way back down to training area and to Angel.
"Sure you want to go up against me?" Angel said with a smile.
"Oh yeah," I said, and I threw the sword to him and took mine taking up stance a few feet away from him.
"You asked for it," he said and took up stance as well.
"Wow. I didn't know you had it in you," he said, wiping the sweat off his forehead.
"Care to try hand to hand?"
"Sure about that?"
As we fought, hand to hand, after a few minutes, I would let my touches linger a little longer on his arms, chest and stomach.
Noticing what I have been doing, he grabbed my shoulders and held me at arms length away from him and looked me over and then pulled me tight against him, pressing his lips on mine.
Slowly I let my hands move to his back and his moved to mine.
After our first kiss, we trained some more and then kissed some more and we were kissing when Cordy came downstairs to tell us that lunch was ready.
After eating, I went into the kitchen to put the dishes to wash and found Angel in there alone.
"What are you doing in here alone?" I asked.
"I didn't know if you would like to see me drinking blood," he said.
"Hey, you've got a mustache," I said, swiping my thumb across his top lip and then replacing the finger with my lips.
"Angel, I know what you are and that doesn't scare me. Not one bit," I said and then the door opened.
"Jason, do you want to go for a walk with me?" she asked.
"Actually Cor,"I said, looking at Angel.
"No, it's okay. Go. We can talk again later," he said with a smile and I got another quick kiss before I headed out of the door with Cordelia.
"So you and Angel?" Cordy asked as we walked around the garden in the front of the hotel.
"I guess so. I mean, I've watched you all for years but Angel's the one who I felt the closest to. I mean, he's a vampire in a world where being a vampire is not of the norm yet he keeps going. You know, Cor, there were times that I didn't want to keep going but I would just close off my room, make it as dark as possible and turn on the tv and watch Angel. I hope this doesn't freak you out. I mean, that in my world, you were a television character?"
"Naw, I know the whole 'nother universe thing. So, go on," she said.
"Well, I had this friend of mine, Alexandra, and we had been friends since the seventh grade and then she, about a year ago, started to just change for some reason. She was my friend but then she would talk down to me, like I was beneath her. She would hang out with the theater people and I would try to talk to her and if I said something that she thought was stupid or dumb, she would call me just that, dump or stupid. And it wasn't just that my best friend had turned on me, my parents didn't like me either. They didn't want to have a son that was gay. That in and of itself is self explanatory. I just don't get it. I mean, I was a good kid, smart and everything but I just wasn't good enough for them. You know, I'm worried right now," I said, looking in through the window at Angel, he didn't notice me looking at him.
"I'm worried that I'm not good enough for him," I said and as I was looking at him, he looked at me and I focused on his words.
"Don't think that. You're perfect," he said and I smiled.
"Thanks," I said.
"For what?" Cordy asked.
"I was talking to Angel. He just crushed any worries I had," I said and Cordy and I walked around for a little longer.
"So how was your first day?" Angel asked as we walked down the hall toward our rooms to turn in for the night.
"Good. You are a great fighter and I learned everything that I know from you. I had fun with Cordy today. I had fun with you too. More fun than I have had in a long time. I feel like I'm part of something here. Part of a family."
"You are a part of a family, you're a part of my family," he said and moved closer to me and I brought my lips to his.
"Thank you, for everything Angel."
"You're welcome. I'll see you in the morning, have a good night's sleep."
"You too," I said and he turned to walk away."Hey."
I pressed my lips to his for another quick kiss and then opened my door, "Thanks again."
I smiled at him and he smiled back at me and then I made my way back into my room for the night.
I leaned against the door for a few minutes after closing it, thoughts of Angel running through my head. Those beautiful chocolate eyes looking deep into my soul. Those strong arms holding me close to him and making me safe and loved.
Walking over to the desk, I pulled out my journal again and began to write.
Well, I had my first full day today and it was great. I trained with Angel this morning and we wound up kissing in the basement. He's amazing. He may be a vampire but that is one of the things that I love about him. He's a vampire and still he lives everyday. He lives in a world where vampires are not of the norm but the still goes on. If he feels like an outcast, he doesn't show it. I sure as hell felt like an outcast in my world and would show it sometimes too.
He's strong and when he held me in his arms this morning in the basement after we had trained, I felt safe and, well, he hasn't said it, but I felt loved.
I don't know, maybe I am loosing my mind but I love him. Yeah I have only been around him for a day and a half but god, I've been watching him for six years.
Watching him fight for redemption by helping humans, the same humans that try to hurt him. He's an amazing man and I am lucky to be here, lucky to have him as a friend.
I guess I am going to turn in for the night. I've had one good nights sleep since I've been here and hopefully they will stay that way. I know that they will at least be better than the tossing and turning nights that I had in my world.
Laying the pen and paper's back in the desk for the second night in a row, I turned out the light and curled up in bed, for a good night's sleep, or so I thought.
"No, no. It's a lie," I screamed in my sleep. "I was there. I have to get back."
"Jason, wake up," Angel said, running in and to my bed. "Jason, shhh, it's just a dream. Wake up, love," Angel said, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close to him.
"Angel?" I asked, opening my eyes and looking up to see Angel sitting behind me with his arms around me.
"Yeah, you were having a nightmare but everything's okay now," he said and I snuggled back into his embrace.
"Will you stay with me?"
"Of course I will," he said and he let go of me and got off the covers and climbed in under them and I snuggled back up into him. "Do you want to talk about what you were dreaming about?"
"Well, it was today. Or rather, that today hadn't happened, that I had never really come here that today had all be nothin' but a dream. That I hadn't kissed you and held you this morning and that made for a really bad nightmare but I'm glad you're here now. Do you feel like talking for a little bit or do you want to get back to sleep?" I asked, looking at him.
"I'd like to talk. Cordy got to talk to you today and I didn't really here anything except how 'yummy with a spoon' I am," he said, with a smile.
He didn't have a chance to say anything else when I captured his lips with mine.
"I can't believe that you heard that. You are, you know. You're cute, handsome, rugged, whatever you want to call it, Angel, you're it. But there's one thing I want from you," I said, moving out of his embrace to sit facing him.
"Change for me, please," I asked.
"Are you sure?"
"Okay but you asked for it," he said with a smile and he let his face shift.
"That's my baby," I said and I moved closer to him, my hand on his cheek. "You know, I would watch you and every time you would go into gameface, that's what I would say. I want you to know that you never have to hide this from me." I moved my hands up to his brow ridges. "I think you are beautiful and handsome in any form. You know, Angelus meaning one with the angelic face. Well, you're Angelus either way. This face and the human face are beautiful to me," I said that and before he could respond, I brought my lips to his and ran my tongue over his fangs.
"You really think I'm beautiful?" he asked, switching back to his human face.
"In every way. That may sound feminine but if you like it better, you're handsome in every way. You're amazing Angel. You're a vampire in a world that hates vampires. I hope you know that I mean no offense to you."
"You could never offend me love," he said and he spun me around and wrapped his arms around me again.
"Well, see, the things is, if you walk down the street and go up to the wrong person and vamp out, they would be like ~Oh god, it's a vampire. Kill it.~ You see, in my world, being gay was just as bad. If I went down the street and told the wrong person that I was gay, they would be like ~Oh god, it's a faggot. Kill it.~ I had never really fit in, in my world. I went to a normal high school and was outted my freshmen year so I spent the entire four years of high school, pretty much in the library reading or working on something. That's when I learned about witches and stuff like that mostly. I watched Willow and Tara and began working on spells and studying non-stop. I never dabbed in the dark arts like Will but there were times when I thought about it but I never let myself get away from good. It was you that kept me on that path. I knew that if I let myself get sucked into a dark place, that I would be no better than a demon. I wasn't going to let that happen. I studied for four years until I was good enough to get here. I finally reached the point where I just had to come up with a spell and it would get me here. And here I am."
"And I'm glad you're here but what about your family and friends. Won't they miss you?"
"Naw. My family didn't want a son who was gay and my best friend has been turning on me for a while now. She would hangout with underclassmen and then she would ignore me while they were around and I just got tired of it. I don't even know what any of them are doing right now. I don't really care anymore. You're what matter's to me now. You and the people in this hotel. I hope you'll be my family now."
"Of course we will and I know I will always be with you."
"Thank you, Angel," I said, yawning.
"You're welcome, now, let's get some sleep," he said and I snuggled into his embrace and fell asleep in the arms of my lover.
The next morning, I woke up and left Angel sleeping. I knew that he could use the sleep and was in the kitchen of my room when Cordy came in the door telling me that she couldn't find Angel and had I seen him.
"Shhh, he's asleep," I said, pointing to my bed. "What's so urgent that it couldn't wait until he woke up?"
"Well, there's a nest of vampires in a warehouse not too far from here and I figured that if we went during the day, we could kill them all before they get out tonight. But if he's asleep, I guess it can wait til later."
"Nonsense. Let me just get my jacket and you and I can take care of them with Wesley and Gunn."
"Are you sure?"
"I trained with Angel the other morning and I had him practically beat. I think I can handle a handful of vampires."
Two hours later and we came back in the hotel and I found a seriously worried vampire waiting for me.
"Where have you been?" he asked, walking up to me and seeing I had vampire dust all over me.
"Just killed a nest of vamps. No problem," I said and I moved my lips up to his ear. "I need a shower. Wanna join me?"
"You scared me, running off like that," he said, sliding his arms around me as we stood there letting the warm water run over us.
"I'm sorry. I just wanted you to get some sleep. I know that you haven't been doing well lately. Plus, Cordy, Wes and I handled 'em great on our own."
"Okay, but next time, wake me up. I want to see you in action."
"Next time I'll wake you up," I said and after we had finished our shower, we pulled on boxers and climbed into the bed for a little cuddling but the cuddling was cut short when we heard a scream from down stairs.
Running down the stairs, pulling on a shirt wasn't easy. Angel was a foot behind me and was having just as hard a time as I was.
"Alex?" I said, stopping at the bottom of the stairs, Angel running into me, his hands wrapping around me to keep both of us from falling to the ground. "What are you doing here? How are you here?"
"I...I found this piece of paper in your room. Read it and blacked out. Your parents are worried about you. I'm worried about you. Where exactly am I?"
"Your in the AngelVerse, Alex. I wrote that spell to put me inside the show. I couldn't take living in our world anymore. I'm happy here. I'm happy with Angel," I said, stepping back into his embrace.
"So you and the vampire are together?"
"Me and Angel are together, yes. He's more than just a vampire, Alex. He's an amazing man," I said, stepping out of his embrace and walking over to my friend. "He cares about me and I love him."
"Really. Listen, my parents didn't care about me enough when I was there with them to love me and you weren't any better. You may not realize it but you have been treating me differently lately which is sort of why I am surprised to even see you here now. I thought you would just forget about me when I left."
"I'm still your friend. I know that we have been distant lately but I have other friends too."
"He's better off here," Angel said, walking up behind me and placing a hand on my shoulder. "I love him and if his parents and his friends don't have the time for him, I have all the time in the world and he can have it."
"I do have time for him it's just I have other friends too. I don't think that it's right that I should have to just be friends with him and not have time for other people too."
"You're right Alex but when I would be around you when you were around your other friends, it was like I wasn't even there. Or I would say something and if you thought it was stupid or dumb, you would call me that, stupid or dumb. Or maybe you didn't even think it was dumb or stupid and you were just trying to look cool in front of your friends. I really don't know but I do know this. I am happier here than I ever was in your world," I said.
"A friend, for no reason whatsoever would ever call someone dumb or stupid, if they're really a friend," Cordy said, walking up to stand by Angel, behind me.
"And just who the fuck do you think you are talking to me like that?" Alex said, standing and then she turned to Angel. "Don't you go all grrr on me. I aint fucking scared of you, you fucking faggot."
Alex regretted it the second it came out of her mouth because, no Angel didn't do anything but I did. My eyes turned black as night and I back handed her across the face. "You think your karate and shit can take me now?" I asked, standing over her. I think it's time for you to go home Alex," I said and Wesley stood.
"I'll look for a way to send the young lady home," Wesley said and he made to move to the office.
"Won't be necessary. I can take her home but I will have to go with her and then use my original spell to get back. I need to talk to my parents anyway. Give me a minute to get dressed and I'll be back down here and we can go. Angel, will you come upstairs with me?"
"Sure, love," he said and instead of me walking, he grabbed me in his arms and carried me up the stairs, we were smiling all the way.
"What's up with your eyes?" Angel asked.
"Nothing. It's just an intimidation thing and an emotion thing. I'm not that good at controlling it yet. It usually goes away when I calm down. Don't worry, baby," I said, kissing him as we stepped into the room.
"I don't want you to leave," Angel said, sitting on the bed as I got dressed in some of his borrowed clothes, a pair of black leather pants, left over from the Angelus years and a black t-shirt, tucked into them.
"I have to but I'll be back. Nothing would keep me from, Angel. Did you mean what you said down there?"
"Every word of it. I love you Jason, more than you could imagine," he said, wrapping his arms around me again as he brought his lips to mine.
"I love you too Angel. You are the first person that has cared about me in a while and I am so lucky to have you."
"You're going to be back right?"
"You can count on it. I'll only be gone for a day or so. Maybe not even that," I said.
I took Alex's hand in mine and we made out way back to her world. That's what I consider it now. Her world and Angel's world is my world now.
Magic Forces, Blessed Be
Annul this magic, so shall it be
"Jason, where the hell have you been?" Mom asked as I appeared in my room, along with Alex.
"This may come as a shock to you but I have been inside a television show," I said. "Besides being gay, I am a witch too. I used a spell that made me jump into the television show, Angel. Listen, I know that this doesn't make sense to you but come with me," I said, and I took them into my room and put them in front of the television and let them watch an episode of Angel and while they were distracted, I put my spell books and clothes and my duster that I had bought that looked just like the one that Angel wore into a suitcase and looked at the television.
Just as Angel vamped out on screen, I placed my hands on my parents shoulders and began to chant.
The line between Space and Time
Allow me to cross it with this rhyme
Send me to the AngelVerse
Before life here gets any worse
I didn't black out this time but Mom and Dad did. I get there and after setting my parents down on the couch, I make my way over to Angel.
"I told you that I would be back, baby," I said and I put my arms around him, kissing him. "I had to bring my parents here so that they would know that I was telling the truth. I'm gonna have to leave one more time but that's just to take them back and then I'll be back for good."
"I know. I love you and I trust you. Come on and I'll help you take your bag upstairs," Angel said and he grabbed my suitcase and we walked up the stairs.
"Look at what I got," I said, and I pulled a duster just like his out of my bag and showed it to him.
"I like it, looks just like mine," he said.
"I know, that's why I got it," I said.
I pulled the rest of my stuff out of the suitcase and put it away and that's when we heard another scream from downstairs.
"Calm down Mom, it's okay," I said as I headed down the stairs.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OKAY?"
"Just what I said. This is the truth to what I told you. This is where I'm living now and this is my vampire boyfriend Angel," I said.
"Vampire's don't exist," she said.
"Show her, love," I said and he did.
"What the hell," Dad said and made to move me out of the way but Angel grabbed me.
"MINE," Angel growled.
"I'm his, Dad. Don't try to take me away from him. This place is true. I used a spell, it got me here and now I'm staying. I belong here. I have a place here. I fight along side these people for the fight for good. You never cared for me when I was in your house. Now I have a boyfriend who loves me and friends who care about me."
"We're sorry for the way that we treated you. Please come back home."
"I'm glad that you said you were sorry but it won't do any good. It's too little too late now. I have a family here. I love Angel and he loves me."
"Okay but will we ever see you again?"
"Maybe. Listen, I think it's time that you go back home."
I didn't really give them a chance to respond. I took there hands in mine and said the spell before they could say anything else.
When we got back in my room, they still weren't prepared for the spell and I left them asleep on my bed.
I had left one thing in the room when I had took my stuff. I hadn't even thought about it. I grabbed my laptop off the desk and held it under my arm.
"I love you guys and I always will. It's too bad that you couldn't love me," I said.
The line between Space and Time
Allow me to cross it with this rhyme
Send me to the AngelVerse
Before life here gets any worse
"I'm back for good," I said, running over to Angel and jumping into his arms, peppering his face with kisses. "I love you Angel."
"I love you too, Jason," he replies, holding me tight.
"So you're here to stay for good?" Angel asked, snuggling up behind me.
"For good, love. I will never leave you again," I said.
"Good because you're mine."
"And you're mine."
"Always and forever," he told me and he kissed the side of my neck.
I had a family now. I had friends to cared about me. I had a lover, a boyfriend who loved me more than anything.
I officially moved in to Angel's room that night and was happier than I had ever been. Angel called me his mate that night. I was more than just his boyfriend, I was his mate. We were going to be together for a long time.
I had come to the AngelVerse and I was there to stay.
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