I'm driving Luke home from our camping trip. I have to try to think of a way to tell him about what happened at breakfast, but not now... not this second, at least. He's in such a good mood. He's full of love and memories of our camping weekend. I can see his boner through his shorts, he really must be remembering last night. It's easy for me to get aroused thinking about what went on inside the tent, too... but I'm still so upset about what my brother said that I feel like I'm going to barf. I'll let Luke live in ignorance for a little while longer. I wish I didn't have to tell him at all, but we're going to have to come up with some sort of plan.
"So, we totally have to go camping again soon… just the two of us. Then when we get to that lookout place at the top of that trail, we can have a picnic AND fuck!" he rambles on.
"Yeah, sounds good," I yawn, trying to disguise my distraction with sleepiness.
We pull into Luke's apartment complex and both take a load of stuff up the stairs.
"I've got an idea. Follow my lead," Luke whispers to me as he unlocks the door. I follow Luke in, waiting to see what he's up to as he greets his mom.
"Hey mom! Good to see you and all, but G and I have been together all weekend without so much as a kiss. We really need some alone time. We'll catch ya later." He grabs my hand and leads me towards his bedroom. Both of us are dropping things all over the floor, but Luke keeps pulling me towards his door. I can't help but chuckle as I wave at Denise.
"I don't know how you were able to keep your hands off each other," she laughs. "I have shopping to do anyway. See you two later."
We stumble into Luke's room and throw down the rest of the camping gear. Both sleeping bags really need to be aired out, if not totally laundered, but I'm not sure I know how to do that. I sit down on the edge of Luke's bed and he grabs me from behind. We both plop our heads down on his pillow and look in each other's eyes.
"I want you so bad," he whispers as he hugs me tight. I try to look back at him with an expression that won't cause him to ask me if something is wrong. It must've worked because he starts giving me gentle kisses on my lips and around my mouth. I wrap my arms around him, too. I want to remember him exactly this way. I won't see this Luke much in the near future. For a while, at least, I'm afraid I'll be around the nervous, paranoid Luke... and that could get much worse if my brother actually does something.
We kiss deeper and press our bodies together. I rub my dick ever so slightly against his, as I finally start to forget about our troubles. Suddenly, Luke breaks the kiss and pulls his head back from mine, slightly.
"What's wrong, G? You're only kissing me with about 80% of your usual... G-ness. 85% tops."
"It's nothing. I don't wanna talk about it." I know that won't work because of the shocked look on my face when he questioned me.
"Oh, no. You gotta tell me. How could anything be wrong after that amazing camping trip we just had? Now, we get to spend all day today and most of tomorrow in bed together before school starts Tuesday. Is that it? School?"
"No, just forget it," I say.
"Don't make me tickle you!" he says as he slowly moves his hands down to my ribs.
"No! Please!" I hold his hands as tight as I can.
"Okay… then spill it!" I look in his eyes, but have to look away. I'm so disgusted with what I have to tell him, and so scared of how he's going to react. The nervousness causes me to lose my breath. He touches my chin with his finger and brings it back up to meet his mouth. He gives me the softest, sweetest kiss. He could've just told me, "Everything's gonna be okay," but he communicated it through the kiss instead.
"This morning–" I start, but he interrupts me with another quick kiss. We both chuckle… mine with more nerves. "At breakfast–" I start again, but he kisses me again.
"Sorry, but you really looked like you needed one," he says as he strokes my hair with an angelic smile. "Go ahead."
"It's just–" he kisses me once more, but this time, he doesn't pull back. I hug him as tight as I can and open my mouth to accept his tongue, but something inside me snaps. I start sobbing uncontrollably, and I have to pull away. This is not how I wanted to tell him.
"No, no, no!" He hugs my head into his chest and strokes my hair with his fingers. "Remember, no crying! I can't deal with it. It makes me cry, too," he says as he soothes me, his voice already starting to crack. I sniffle and slobber on his t-shirt for a couple of minutes as I try to collect myself. Luke continues to hold me tight and cradle me. I just want to stay here forever.
"I'm sorry," I sniffle. "It's just that you're being so sweet and cute and funny, and I know you're trying to make me feel better.... and what I've got to tell you is going to ruin your mood and everything. I just don't want to do it to you."
"What... IS it?" He looks me in the eyes with the most serious expression I've ever seen. I just need to blurt it out.
"I think my brother knows about us," I can barely say the words.
"WHAT?!?" He jumps up from the bed and clutches his head, looking at me with horror and shock.
"I'm so sorry," I bury my face in my hands again, as the sobbing has returned.
"What do you mean...," he can't seem to catch his breath now, as he looks around the room and then back at me. "What do you mean, YOU THINK?"
"You know how he always calls me a fraud and says that he's going to destroy me? Well, this morning at breakfast, while you and my dad went to the bathroom, he gave me the most evil look and said, 'You are FUCKING DEAD!' I swear, I've never heard him sound like that, and I've never seen him look like that. It was so scary."
"Then what?" he looks like he's going to hyperventilate. I try to get him to sit on the bed, but he refuses.
"I didn't cave or anything, I just looked back at him with an annoyed expression and asked, 'Now what is it?'. Then, a couple of seconds later, you and my dad came to the table, and he instantly changed back into normal David. Even when we made eye contact during breakfast or on the way home, he never gave me another evil look again. He was just his usual combo of... sleepy, dopey and grumpy."
"Oh shit." Luke continues to just stare at me, incredulously.
"So that means one of two things. Either he was just trying to fuck with me for no reason, which I wouldn't put past him, or he knows and we're fucked. I just kept thinking about it and playing it over in my mind the whole ride home. It's unlike him to just say, 'You're fucking dead'. I think that if he really knows about us, he would've called me a fucking fag or something. That's more his style."
"You kept trying to tell me," he shakes his head with bewilderment, "that David was some kind of evil little fucker, but I wouldn't believe you. What are we gonna do now?"
"I don't think there's anything we can do. If he really is just trying to fuck with me, I can't act paranoid and act like it bothers me... cuz then he will know that I've got something to hide. If he already knows, I don't think there's anything we can do. He wants to destroy me, and he's finally got something that will."
"I can talk to him. He likes me, and I can convince him not to tell anyone."
"Trust me. If he knows, he's going to use it against me. It's what his whole life has been leading up to. Plus… what if you start talking to him about it, and he never knew in the first place?" I wish David was here right now so I could just strangle him.
"FUCK!" He stamps his feet on the floor. "No person has ever had this much power over me before."
"I still can't figure out how he heard us," I sigh, "based on how loud they were talking in their tent, and that I couldn't even understand what they were saying… we were nowhere near that loud."
"Your dad said he heard us giggling, though."
"Yeah, but you could tell he had no idea. So David had to somehow get out of his tent without Dad or us hearing the zipper, then come over and listen outside of our tent until he realized what was going on... all without us knowing. Do you think that's even possible?" I ask. Saying it out loud like that has made me a little more hopeful.
"I dunno. I was really into you for a long time. I wasn't concentrating on trying to hear things outside the tent."
"Yeah, me too. I guess it's possible. Maybe he heard us giggling, too... and snuck out after my dad fell asleep. Still, I can't believe I didn't hear SOMETHING outside. I mean, he's so clumsy. He can't even walk straight sometimes."
"I know. But still, we weren't careful." He stares at the floor. "We got too horny, and we fucked almost right in front of them. What did we expect was going to happen?"
I shrug, feeling the same shame and disappointment. It felt totally safe and quiet while we were doing it... not to mention when we were talking and thinking about doing it, but being horny really clouds my judgment. I may have blown everything.
"I'm so sorry, Luke." I lay back on his pillow, staring at the ceiling, trying not to cry.
"You have nothing to apologize for, G." He sits down next to me and starts rubbing my leg. "I don't think anyone in the world could've stopped me from fucking you last night. I just HAD to. I almost didn't even care if we got caught, I wanted it so bad. I couldn't think clearly. It's my fault."
"We're in this together, mister. Just remember, whatever happens, even if it's a giant shit-storm... we can get through it if we're together."
"You're right." He turns towards me and we kiss. I thought he was going to have a panic attack or punch a wall or something, but he's dealing with this rather well. "Lay down, I'm gonna rub your back."
"I was gonna rub yours to try to calm you down," I say, looking surprised.
"Nah, you need a little comforting, I think." I lay on my stomach and he climbs on top of me, moving his hands slowly and forcefully up my back. I moan, finally releasing some built-up anxiety. "G, you try to take everything on yourself. You need to let me take some of the burden. I can handle it. I won't freak out."
He's trying to be strong for me, but I bet that he really is freaking out on the inside. I wish there was something I could do to make this all go away. We'd better get used to it, though. Being gay will often bring complications.
"It's just that I kinda like you," I say over my shoulder between moans, "and I don't wanna see you hurt or upset... or freaking out. If I can protect you from anything, I will.... but I will never keep anything important from you."
"Same goes for me," he says as he continues to rub all of the bad feelings out of my body. "It just kills me to see you upset. Plus, I have ways of making you feel better." He leans over on top of me and slides his hands down the front of my body, just like that first day when he seduced me through a back rub.
"Mmmmm," I say, starting to smile for the first time. "This seems strangely familiar."
"Yeah, we had some fun that day," he whispers into my ear between kisses on my shoulder and up my neck. He works his hands all the way down to my dick again. I'm not about to stop him this time.
"I think the next thing I did was sit on your lap and kiss you till I squirted all over your t-shirt," I whisper to him. Just saying it almost makes me cum.
"Yeah... that was so fuckin' hot," he whispers as he rolls off of me. He leans up against the wall and pats his lap. "Come on over. This t-shirt is dirty, so feel free to squirt all over it, too."
"I just might." I slowly climb over and sit on his lap and start stroking his hair. He starts rubbing his hands up and down my sides. We're both doing just what we did that first day. "Ahh... horny memories."
"Yeah, we have lots."
"Let's make some more," I say as I lean forward to meet his lips. I don't want to copy that first day completely. I don't want to kiss him with total recklessness and desperation. I want the slow, passionate, love-sharing, trouble-forgetting style of kissing.
We gently open our mouths and let our tongues get reacquainted. I feel so warm and perfect and protected as we softly kiss and rub our bodies against each other. It's amazing how different he can make me feel. All of the fret and panic I was going through just minutes ago are gone. Through the kiss, I start to feel Luke's mouth form into a smile, which involuntarily makes me do the same. Finally I lean back to look at him. He has a dopey, dreamy smile on his face. His expression is probably a lot like mine.
"What were we worried about again?" I ask as I stroke his hair.
"Beats me. You taste sweeter than normal."
"Must be the syrup from the pancakes." We both giggle.
"Gimme some more," he says, but I was already on my way back to his lips. I slowly grind my hips into his, and he responds by pushing up with his pelvis. Before long, we have a nice rhythm going as we slowly build towards a hot climax. I just try to take it all in: the feelings of his muscular arms wrapped around me... his hot, sweet tongue making love to my mouth... the grunts and moans of two 17-year-old boys in total ecstasy. Soon, I feel Luke start to shudder and I feel warmth and wetness coming from his downstairs area. The fact that I can make him cum just sitting on his lap and kissing him is so amazing. It sends me over the edge, and soon my shorts are full of cum, too. The chuckling that results finally breaks up the exhausted kiss.
"G... the things you do to me," he says, still hugging me tight.
"I'm thirsty. Get us some drinks and I'll start a load of laundry. The Diamondbacks playoff game should be on by now."
"K," I say, not wanting to get up. I start kissing him again, just as I'd done before and start grinding away again. We bust up laughing and I finally fall off of him onto my back.
We get cleaned up and meet again on the couch to watch the baseball game. We sit in our usual position: me leaning up against Luke between his legs and his arms wrapped around me. It's the best possible feeling, but unfortunately, the panic and paranoia start to creep back. I can't concentrate on the game or anything Luke is saying to me. Finally, I can't take it anymore.
"I'm really sorry, but I think I have to go. I can't stand not knowing anymore. I just gotta go home and see if everything is normal or if David has told my folks anything," I say.
"If he did, you'd be getting angry phone calls."
"True, but I just need to see if there's any vibe with him. I'm sorry, but I just gotta go."
"Let me know what you find out," he says as we kiss goodbye.
I drive home full of hatred for my brother. I've had to ruin a perfect day at Luke's because of him. Even if he doesn't know what's going on between Luke and me, he's still trying to fuck with me... and that's after I've tried so hard to be friendly to him. The friendliness is all over now. Whatever he's up to, I don't even care. I'm not wasting another second of my life on him. I hop out of my car, walk up to the front door as normally as I can, take a deep breath and head inside the house.
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