I believe everybody probably faces a few significant moments of truth in their lives – moments when their future directions will be decided one way or another. I faced one of these moments in a motel room with my debate partner, David McAndrew, on an October evening of my junior year of high school. After telling me he "wasn't totally straight" and that he "had a thing for me," I could do one of two things. I could tell him the truth that I was very much attracted to him, or I could lie, deny my feelings for him and insist that I was straight as an arrow. Feeling the weight of the decision before me, I decided to take my time.
"Let me get this ... uh, understand this," I said. I decided not to use that word again (straight), at least not in that context. I paused for a long time. "You like girls ... and boys, and I am one of the boys you like?"
"You're stalling," David replied. "But I'll allow it. Yes, I do like girls, very much. And I also find that I am attracted to some boys. But you're the only boy that I really like...in that way. So, that leaves my question to you the only one not answered. I repeat myself. Are you totally straight?"
I actually found his systematic, logical mind - even in this highly personal conversation - very charming. I took a deep breath.
"Okay, I will answer the question, but in my own way. Unfortunately, I cannot give you a simple yes or no." Now I was really stalling. I had no idea what I was going to say next.
"Kissing me would be fine instead," David offered. And with that, he stepped toward me, stopping inches in front of my face. He did stop, however, and intentionally left any further movement to me.
I looked up into those beautiful, sparkling blue eyes. I saw the charming, sly smile on his face. I took in his handsome, chiseled features. And I stretched up and kissed him.
If I live to be 110 years old and develop a severe case of Alzheimer's disease, I swear I will never forget that kiss. Literally, it almost made me pass out. I felt totally enraptured as our eyes closed and our lips met ever so lightly. He took me in his arms, gently caressing me as if I were some delicate, precious object. Electric sensations exploded throughout my whole body, and I lost all sense of time or place. I finally had to pull away, gasping for breath so I wouldn't faint. I blurted out a truly profound remark. "H-o-l-y S-h-i-t!"
David guided me to the nearest chair and helped me to sit down. "Holy Shit ... good? Or Holy Shit ... bad?" he asked with an exaggerated emphasis on the words "good" and "bad."
Still recovering my equilibrium, I managed to get out the word, "good."
He smiled. "I thought so," he said. He seemed quite proud of himself. With raised eyebrows and a devilish, open-mouthed grin on his face, he pretended to have just thought of a great new idea. "Let's go to bed!" he suggested.
After another deep breath, I was finally back to full consciousness. "Hold the horses, Tonto," I said. "Kemosabe needs a breather."
He sat patiently, waiting for me to do or say something.
It took me several minutes. "Okay," I finally said. "Obviously, I am not totally straight. You have your answer. And, if you haven't figured it out, I sort of have a thing for you, too. In fact, the truth is, I am very attracted to you. But, I need to take this thing slowly."
Slow was not David's style, however. "Do you ... love me?" he asked, deliberately trying to sound charming.
"There he goes again with those damn direct questions asked way too early in a relationship," I thought to myself. "Someday, that habit will get him in trouble." Unfortunately, I was falling for it hook, line and sinker. I decided to be absolutely honest with him. "Yes, I do."
His mood changed. The devilish smile was gone. The little boy charm was dropped. He sat quietly for a moment looking very mature for 15 years old.
"And," he said, "I love you more than I ever knew I could love anybody. I'm so happy when I'm with you. I love being your partner. You're just ... so cool! And I want to make love with you so badly. I don't think I can take it slowly. Please, Joel, let's not wait."
And we did make love that night. We undressed each other, reaching new levels of excitement with the removal of each piece of clothing. His body was absolutely beautiful. His broad shoulders were muscular and tanned. His waist was trim and smooth. His cock was more beautiful than I'd ever imagined - close to 8 inches erect. It was thick, cut and perfectly shaped, surrounded by golden pubic hair and large, low hanging testicles. I kissed the head of his cock, and I felt the rigid, smooth skin straining to enter my mouth. He moaned with pleasure and gasped my name as I took his manhood fully to my throat. He placed his hands softly around the sides of my head, and I was totally consumed with David and giving him pleasure. As I felt his passion grow, I wrapped my tongue around the underside of his cock. I could feel the bulging vein that ran its length. His breathing became quicker, louder and shorter, and I felt the head of his cock expand in the back of my mouth as he reached an explosive climax. I swallowed his entire ejaculation.
And then, he lay spent, his chest rising and falling with each breath as he pulled me up and into an embrace. We kissed and caressed, intoxicated with each other's body and with each other's soul. And then, he laid me on my back and moved down, kissing and rubbing his hair against my chest, my abdomen and then my genitals. I was rock hard and desperate for relief. And he brought me to the most incredible orgasm of my entire life. Never before, nor ever since, have I reached such an ultimate, overwhelming and complete physical ecstasy.
We held each other into the early morning, basking in the wonder of being able to touch and to love each other freely. And we drifted off to sleep in each other's arms with no thought of the debates that would begin in only a few hours.
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