Brownsville Tales, Jordan

by Kiwi

Part 4

He'd only been there for a minute when a shadow fell on him. He looked up, squinting at the sunshine, and Jordan was looking down at him, (which made a change).

"Jordan?"

"Hi. Can I sit here with you?"

"Well, yeah," he looked around. "But where are your bodyguards? They might not like it."

"Maybe not, but I would and they can get lost for now."

"For now?"

"Yeah." He sat down next to him.

Dillon moved forward and down a step so they were nearer being on the same level. "I don't think your friends would approve. They don't like me."

"But I do, I think. Why wouldn't you stop and talk to me this morning. Are you off me already?"

"No, I'm not off you. I quite like you really, but your friends don't like me. I didn't want to start the day with them all jumping on me again, so I thought it's best if I just stay away."

"You did, did you? What about me? Aren't I allowed to chose who I want to be friends with?"

"It doesn't look like you are, the way they bunch around you and keep everyone else away all the time."

"They do get a bit possessive, don't they?" Jordan shrugged like it didn't matter. But it did!

"Just a bit!" Dillon snorted. "They make me feel like a criminal and just because I wanted to talk to you."

"Yeah well, they're good mates and they've got their reasons."

"Yeah? So do you think I'd want to hurt you?"

"I don't. I hope not anyway. They don't know you, so they're suspicious; they're suspicious of everyone."

"There's no need for that. I mean, you're little but you're not defenceless, are you? Sheesh, anyone would think I was trying to rape you!" Dillon was talking himself angry again.

Jordan looked down at the ground in front of them. "That's been tried before," he said quietly. "The Five try to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"Shit, Jordan! Are you saying that you were raped?"

"No I'm not. I wasn't raped, but I nearly was. A guy had me bailed-up in the changing rooms at the Aquatic Center, Gene and Ashton came in and saved me. That's why they're all like they are now.It's nothing to do with you, they're like that with everyone and they're looking after me."

"Because you're such a baby you need looking after all the time? Why would they think that everyone wants to rape you?"

"Maybe because I look easy because I'm little. And, there is this." Jordan held up his left hand and twisted it around, showing the coloured jelly-bracelets on his wrist.

"What, because you wear bracelets? Lots of kids do. I've got a couple myself – doesn't mean anyone wants to rape me."

"Keep looking, Dillon. Look at the colours, know what they mean?"

"Kind of. I know that each colour is meant to have a meaning, for those that take them seriously. I don't, it's nothing but a scare story to freak parents out.Yellow is for hugging, blue is oral sex and black means all the way sex – that sort of thing."

"It is that sort of thing. But look at my colours, I've got six of them – red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. Doesn't that tell you anything?"

"Not really. Should it?"

"Yes, it should. They're the colours of the rainbow flag. You know what that stands for?"

"Rainbow flag – that's like a gay signal, isn't it?"

"Now you're getting the picture."

"Damm, Jordan! Are you saying that you're gay?"

"I am. Have you got a problem with that?"

"No, of course I haven't. But why would you wear a signal like that?"

"Pays to advertise," Jordan grinned. "I think it's subtle, the others don't agree and they want me to stop wearing them, but I'm not. It's my life and I'm proud of who I am."

"So you should be. So they don't like that you're gay?"

"They don't care about that, they just don't want me advertising it. If I don't, how am I ever going to get a boyfriend?"

"And that's what you're looking for?"

"Yes. Everyone wants someone to love them, don't they?"

"I guess so. I do too. But your Tight Five love you, don't they?"

"Sure they do, but not like that. The guys are more like family."

"Family? Good luck finding a boyfriend with them in the way."

"They won't be in the way when it's the right person."

"And that, obviously, won't be me." Dillon stood up. "Your friends don't like me, Jordan. It's a wonder they haven't come and taken you away already."

Jordan said, "I could tell them not to. They don't not like you, they just don't know you."

"They don't know me and they're never going to, not with the attitudes they've got when they look at me."

"Forget about them. Do you like me, Dillon? That's what's important. I think I like you a lot and I want to find out more."

"Really? Sorry but that won't happen. I do like you, I think I could love you, but we're never going to know. You can't forget about your mates, Jordan. They're good friends for you and they have been for a long time. You're lucky to have them, what you've got there is special and you can't throw that away. There's only one of me but there's four of them and they're an important part of your life.

You can't dump them for a possible relationship with me. That's not going to happen, full stop."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I am very sure about that. I'm not worth it."

"Well I think you are. What if I tell them that I want you for a boyfriend?"

"It wouldn't make any difference. They don't like me and they wouldn't agree."

"They'd have to agree! It's none of their business anyway."

"It is very much their business. Okay, if and when, every one of your Tight Five comes and tells me that's it's okay for us to be together, then we can. Otherwise it's not happening. I'm not going to fight your friends, Jordan. They love you and there's nothing wrong with that."

"There is if it stops me from being with the one I want. You won't change your mind?"

"I can't, Jordan. I can't and I won't."

"Okay, I'll go and tell them then. If they say it's okay, then we can?"

"If you want to, yeah. But only if all four of them say it's all right."

"I'll see you soon. I've got work to do!" Jordan left running.

Dillon smiled ruefully as he watched him go. Yes, he'd like to love him, but he didn't think that could happen. Life wasn't that good.

The Cat came first. She came running up behind him when he was walking home from school.

"Kirkwood – Dillon, wait up! Damm. Where are you going in such a big hurry?"

"Going home," he shrugged. "What's it to you?"

"I want to talk."

"Why? I've done nothing."

"No-one said you had. Jordie told me to come and see you."

"Well, here I am."

"Yeah. Jordie says he likes you. Is that right?"

"Shouldn't you be asking him?"

"Well, ah – yes, I guess." She smiled and things looked better. "How about you? Do you like our Jordan?"

"I do. I think I like him a lot."

"Jordie is gay. Are you?"

"Probably."

"Probably? I think you'd know."

"I've never had a chance to find out, have I?"

"So you want a chance with Jordan?"

"That sounds crude when you put it like that."

"Well, do you?"

"No, I don't!"

"What do you want then?"

"I want to be his friend. I want to get to know him and to love him, most likely."

"To most likely love him. That's not much of a commitment."

"It's all I've got. Look, Cat, I don't really know the boy. I'd never even spoken to him until we sat up in a tree together at the Sports the other day. I like the look of him and I'd like to get to know him better. I'd like that very much, but I can't."

"You can't? What's stopping you?"

"You are. You and all the rest of your mates, you won't let anyone get near him."

"You want to get near him? Why don't you then?"

"Because I can't. I told you, you lot are in the way."

"Why won't you fight for what you want? You can't want it much if you won't fight for it."

"I'm not fighting you and the others. You're his friends, good friends, and I'm not fighting against you. If you weren't his mates, I'd fight you all the way, but you are and you all protect him because you love him. That's a good thing and I'm not taking that away from him."

"Wow. Are you for real?"

"Of course I'm for bloody real. You think I'm standing here lying to you?"

"No. I don't think you are actually. Okay, Dillon Kirkwood, that's good enough for me. For what it's worth, you have my permission to be with Jordie. I'm warning you though – I love that boy like a brother. More than a brother actually, I can't stand my real brothers. If you ever hurt Jordie, I'll cut your cock off and ram it down your throat!"

"I think you would. If I ever hurt him, I'll let you do that."

"All right!" she grinned. "You're a good one. Be nice to our boy and we'll be sweet." She started walking away.

"Cat!" Dillon called after her. "Thanks, Cat. I will be nice, if I get the chance."

"You'll get a chance. I'm going to see the others to fix it now. 'Bye, Dillon."

"Bye, Cat."

He walked home with a big smile on his face. Not a lot had changed, it was only one of the four of them, but it was a start.

Later, he was on the computer in his room, busily wasting time, when there was a knock on the door.

"Yeah?" he called and carried on doing what he was doing. Another knock and he got up and opened the door.

Ashton Morris was there, with Gene Crestani behind him.

"Whoah. Hi."

"Hey, Dillon. Can we come in?"

"Yeah, of course." He stepped back and out of the way. "Come in."

They came into the room and Gene closed the door. Dillon sat back on his computer chair.

"Doesn't look like a gayboy's bedroom." Ashton looked around.

"I wouldn't know. I don't get around that much," Dillon replied.

"Yeah. So we hear," Ashton nodded. "I like your posters. Do you play anything?"

"Only CD's. Look, Guys, you're here about Jordan, so what do you say?"

"To the point, aren't you? All right then, we say 'yes'."

"Really? You're okay with me being with him?"

"Yes, it's okay. We were wrong about you, I think. As long as you're both in it together, it's okay by us."

"That goes for both of you? Gene's not saying much."

"He never does," Ashton said. "Not until he gets comfortable. He gets a bit whakama, don't you, Genie?"

Gene grinned and nodded.

"Whakama?" Dillon said. "What's that?"

"What's the matter, don't you understand plain Maori?"

"Not a lot, no."

"It means shy, embarrassed, that sort of thing. I thought everyone knew that. Anyway, that's what our Genie is, so now you know."

"Now I know. You're okay with me and Jordan, Gene?"

"Yeah, 'sokay," Gene blushed.

Ashton said, "The usual warnings apply, of course. You hurt our mate and you're dead."

"I wouldn't hurt him."

"We'll be watching."

"I'm sure you will. So, that's three out of the four of you. What does Lucas say, do you know?"

"Yes, we know, but I dunno if you'd want to."

"Oh? What did he say?"

"He said that you can go fuck yourself and you'll be with Jordie over his dead body."

"Oh." Dillon lost the grin. "I guess he's entitled to his opinion. That's the end of that then."

"That's it?" Gene spoke up at last. "You're giving up just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. I told Jordan that all four of you had to agree and I meant what I said."

"Shit!" cried Ashton. "Don't be such a wimp. Go around and poke him on the nose."

"I'm not doing that. It wouldn't fix anything anyway. That'd just make him not like me even more."

"You might be right. You probably won't have to worry anyway – the Cat's going to talk to him. He's in trouble now!"

"In trouble?"

"Yeah," Gene grinned. "The Cat is no pussy-cat."

"So true!" Ashton agreed. "More like a tiger – a bitchy tiger. Don't ever fight with the Cat, you can't win."

"I'll take your word for it."

"Wise man. Okay, we've said what we came to say. C'mon, Gene, we're outta here."

"Okay. Thanks anyway, Guys."

"Welcome. See ya."

That was hopeful, wasn't it? He didn't hear anything more all night and he tried not to worry but, of course, he did. Trust Lucas Breene to mess things up for him. Three out of the Tight Five said that it was okay but not Breene. Stuff him!

What had he ever done to him? Nothing, that's what!

Three out of the four is like 75% approval, which is pretty good really. Maybe he could just forget about Breene and go for it anyway? No, he couldn't. He'd said that every single one of them had to say yes and that hadn't happened. He wouldn't go back on his word. That'd mean that the whole thing was based on a lie and that's not good.

Fuck Lucas Breene! He punched his pillow, but that didn't help. Maybe the Cat would eat him – that'd fix it, sort of.

Walking into the school grounds next day, he looked around. There was no sign of Jordan anywhere and the only one of the Tight Five in sight was – 'Wouldn't you know it?' - Lucas Breene and he was making a bee-line for him.

'Oh well', Dillon sighed. 'Let's get it over and done with then.'

"Kirkwood, I want to talk to you."

"Talk away, I'm listening."

"Right. What the hell did you do to the Cat?"

"The Cat? I haven't done anything to her."

"Yes you have. I dunno what, but you did something."

"Not that I know of."

"Yeah, right. The Cat came round to my place last night and she ripped into me like you wouldn't believe."

"That wasn't my idea. She told me she was going to see you, but I didn't know she'd do that."

"Well she did, thanks to you."

"I never asked her to."

"But she did."

"I never asked her to. Look, Lucas, it's okay. I know your answer is no and I can respect that."

"You can? Are you for real?"

"Yes I'm for real. Why do people keep asking me that?"

"Because . . well, because. The guys are saying that you're too good to be true. Are you?"

"I wouldn't know. I'm just trying to do the right thing and do right by Jordan, he deserves that."

"Bloody Hell! You're too much. Jordie does deserve the best. He's gay, but he's too little and too young for any sort of serious relationship."

"He doesn't think so and it's up to him really, isn't it? He's not that young, he's 14, the same as I am. I think he might be a bit older than me actually."

"Maybe, but he's still little. Jordie is tiny and you're too big for him.."

"Jordan told me that he's only little on the outside, and I think he may be right. Anyway, what do you think I'm going to do – rip him in half?"

"You bloody better not, Kirkwood!"

"I wouldn't do that to him. It's not an issue anyway – it's not happening is it?"

"No? Okay, Dillon Kikwood, if that's what you want, and what Jordie wants, well – go for it."

"You what? Really?? I thought you were dead against him being anywhere near me."

"I was, but I can change my mind, can't I? I've been lectured at all bloody night long! Not just with the Cat, they've all been on my case. I'm not going to stand in your way."

"Thanks, Lucas. I . . really . . well, thanks! That's great."

"All good," he shrugged. "I love Jordie and if he's going to have a boyfriend, he should have the best."

"I know you love him, all the Tight Five do, that's what makes you such good friends."

"Friends be buggered! I really, really love him – not like the others. I love them as friends but I love him much more than that, I always have, for years now and I've waited for him to grow older and old enough. But that's never going to happen, I can see that now.

He loves me, but no more than he loves Ashton, Gene and the Cat. He'll never love me like I love him, so I'm letting go. I'm warning you though – seriously – you mess with Jordie and I'll kill you. I know where the key to Dad's gun cabinet is and I'll use it if I have to and I won't care if they lock me up for life."

"Damm. You really mean that, don't you?"

"Of course I bloody mean it!"

"You'll never have to worry, I promise you that, Lucas. I'll treasure him and I'll never make him cry – ever."

"See that you don't."

"I won't. Thanks. You're a big guy. I hope we can be friends too, despite everything. I'm sorry if I'm taking him away from you."

"But you're not. Even if you weren't around, he was never going to be mine."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, me too. Let's go to school."

Dillon was way happy. He was on top of the world and grinning all morning, but he never got a chance to talk to Jordan until lunchtime. Anyone would think that they were there to do schoolwork – the teachers did. Damm them.

He caught up with Jordan at lunchtime, or Jordan caught up to him really – he ran up and tackled him from behind.

"What the?" Dillon swung around and grinned at the boy grinning at him. "Jordan!"

"Hey. Come with me, Dillon." He led the way into the Library, which was always quiet at lunchtime, only a few nerds wanted to be there when they didn't have to.

They walked down to the back and around behind some shelves, where no-one could see them.

"Lucas said we can be together!" Dillon burst-out as soon as they were alone. "That means all of the Tight Five say it's all right."

"Not all of them," Jordan replied.

"Yeah they did. The Cat, Ashton and Gene told me yesterday and Lucas did this morning."

"That's only four of the Five by my counting."

"Four? Oh, yeah, but the other one is you. Your answer would be 'yes', wouldn't it?" Dillon was worried all of a sudden and his face showed it, but not for long.

Jordan stepped close and looked up at him. He pushed his long and unruly hair back away from his face, put his hands around Dillon's head and pulled him down. "This is my answer," he whispered.

He kissed him.