Nude boys shower close.
I cannot control my dick.
It's dangerous here
by It's Only Me from Across the Sea
I wasn't expelled from school, nor was I 'asked to leave'. My Housemaster had called my parents in because I was being bullied, not so much physically as mentally and socially. I was coming to the end of my second year there, Year 8, when for most boys the hormones start to stir. 'Where the hormones, there moan I' to paraphrase the Bard. They always stir more in the spring and summer and I had become a particular example, or victim, of this observation. When you live in a small community such as a boys' boarding house with your fellows twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, there is nowhere to hide, particularly from lack of tolerance. Add to that communal showers after games and in the house, and a dormitory where you sleep with five other equally pubescent boys whom you just happen to find interesting, if not positively attractive, then demonstrate the proof of that by uncontrollably getting hard in front of them, that leaves very little privacy and no place to run. There aren't any secrets in a small closed community and I quickly found myself ostracised. Even in our unforgiving community the sentence for an 'offence against society' usually only lasted a couple of days until another poor soul transgressed, but this had gone on for weeks. My bed in the dormitory had been pushed into a corner, no one would sit with me in class unless they were forced to by the geography of the classroom, nor would anyone pass me food at our communal meals in the dining hall. In a school of six hundred boys there must have been at least one like-minded person, but I never found him. I was on my own.
Looking back, the staff were very good. They had spotted what was going on and the reasons were scarcely concealed by my fellow pupils, but if talking fails to persuade the silent majority there is after all very little that can be done against negative behaviour. The odd thing was that until the 'incident' I got on well with everybody, joined in and was accepted. Perhaps it was fear of the unknown among my growing classmates, but it couldn't have been the first time it happened in the history of the school, probably just in their limited experience. It could have happened to anybody, just that happened to me and I still ask myself whether I would have acted differently from the mob if it had happened to some else first. I like to think the answer would have been yes. In practical terms I might have found an ally, a friend, even a boyfriend.
As I said, the staff knew the reason, were understanding and did try to change the ethos of the place. They saved me from the embarrassment of having to come out to my parents as they gently broke the news of my ostracisation to them in private. After consultation it was decided to send me to another school and my co-operation in this matter was gained during a visit to the potential new school and an assurance that their caring society accepted 'people like me', whatever that meant. So I left at half term and joined my new school ten days later on probation, only it was the school that was on probation, not me.
There I go, unloading all my troubles on you, and I haven't even introduced myself. My name is Jocelyn Johnson. I've always resisted being called JJ. That's not me. I'm thirteen, fourteen in early autumn, pubescent, highly adolescent and gay My appearance with its athletic build I would call normal and until the 'incident' I was a happy person who knew how to laugh and make others laugh. I have an elder sister, Celia. We attend separate boarding schools, for two main reasons. There is not a reputable day school within easy reach of where we live and our parents travel a lot with their work and it wouldn't be fair to ask our grandparents to look after us for more than part of the school holidays. Celia and I get along fine, but are not what you would call close. Boarding school always made us lead separate lives.
Sunday afternoon I was therefore whisked off by my father to the new school about an hour and a half's drive away and situated just outside a country town. I met my new housemaster and the domestic staff helped me to unpack. The rest of the boys did not have to be back until nine, but I was asked to go early to help me settle in. I was provided with my timetable and promptly at six there was a knock at the housemaster's door. I was introduced to Adrian, newly arrived, but I remembered him as one of the boys who had shown me around on my preliminary visit to the school. He'd been pleasant and outgoing and had some character about him. I knew that the boys shared double studies until they got into the sixth form. Adrian was to be my new room mate and was solemnly put in charge of my welfare until I had settled in. He took me up to our room. Good psychology not to let him turn up and find me already there, but to let him introduce me as it were.
We took to one another straightaway, and what was particularly pleasing for me was that there wasn't any sexual attraction. He immediately came across as a decent chap, especially as he had come back early to help me settle in. He took me across to the dining hall. There were only half a dozen boys or so in for supper and we sat alone together at a small table.
"This is a funny time of year to come to a new school," Adrian said during our conversation. Everything I had seen so far made me feel confident about school and I already felt I could open up to him. Besides it was only six weeks until the end of term and if things went wrong it was only a probationary period.
"Yes, I was bullied at my last school. Nothing physical, worse, it was mental bullying, and couldn't be resolved. If it had been physical I could have handled that."
"What was that about?"
"I'll tell you eventually when we get to know each other better."
"You've aroused my curiosity now."
"How come, Adrian, you didn't have a roommate?" Adrian blushed.
"The official reason is incompatibility. I'll tell you the real reason because you're going to hear it from the other guys when they find out I'm rooming with you." I began to wonder what I'd let myself in for. "You know sometimes you get hard and can't stop it?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
"What? You mean you hit him?" I replied obtusely, but purposely so. Adrian blushed even more and his voice had become a whisper.
"No. When your cock gets hard." I realised I had an ally, so I helped him out.
"Happens to me all the time. That's why I was ostracised at my last school."
"I don't believe this," said Adrian.
"Anyway, he couldn't hack it, couldn't sleep at nights because of it and was eventually given a new roommate."
"Did you get into trouble?"
"No. Why should I?"
"That's what happened to me at my last school, except it was in the showers and I couldn't have had a bigger audience. You may as well know it. You'll find out anyway. I'm gay." I awaited the reaction. It came very quickly. Adrian's right hand shot across the table.
"Jocelyn, shake on it. So am I." The feeling of disbelief remained, but was now accompanied by a feeling of relief.
It dawned on me what had happened, why the school accepted 'people like me' as I'd been told. There must have been a housemaster to housemaster chat and the new school could accommodate 'people like me'. My ally quickly became my friend and I could never fully express my gratitude to him for the way he helped me to settle down at my new school. We never did become boyfriends, though. There were too many other fish to fry, but with the privacy of a dormitory for two I can't deny that we did stuff together, either.
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