Who Dares Wins

by N Fourbois

Part Six

With a little TLC in the departure lounge Charlie soon recovered from his despair at leaving Jirí behind in Prague. As with those who are inclined to the manic-depressive in their mental make-up the mood soon swings back to normal.

He was sufficiently back to normal to make himself slightly objectionable in order to help out his brother and Gideon. As the group climbed aboard the aircraft and took their seats our heroes came to a bank of three seats to find that Emma Bunter, the girl with the hots for Gideon, was sitting provocatively in the middle one. She was looking evil and obviously intent on getting revenge for her humiliation on the outward flight. It did not help that she was displaying a large blind zit on her forehead. As a polite request failed to move her, Charlie simply said to the other two
"Leave it to me. I'll soon get rid of her. Gideon, go and sit down somewhere else for minute and Jamie, take the window seat and make sure you brush up against her as you push past." The older boys sat down as instructed and Charlie's eyes lit up with wickedness. Seated Charlie leant over Emma Bunter and said in a loud whisper "Hey, bro, are you starting your period?"
Innocently Jamie replied "Shhh, Charlie, how many times must I tell you? Boys don't have periods."
"I can smell it. It must be her then." That was sufficient for Emma to get up in a huff and storm off elsewhere to look for a seat. "Okay, Gideon," shouted Charlie triumphantly as he moved over and sandwiched himself between Gideon and Jamie. A voice came over the intercom welcoming the passengers and telling them to belt up.

The rest of the flight was relatively uninteresting. The Farthings and the Duttons were at the airport to greet their sons who, after thanking Mr Jones, their trainer, for organising the trip, were soon whisked off to their separate homes. They were due back in school on Monday for the final week of the school year. Gideon was particularly looking forward to sports day, although he felt he had lost some of his fitness for the 1500m and would attend to that. Charlie on the other hand was looking forward to the swimming gala, not only because he wanted to see Jamie do well, but he was also looking forward to seeing the eye candy in their Speedos.

The next morning after breakfast Jamie went along and in exemplary manner knocked on Charlie's bedroom door. He was at a loose end. While he and Gideon had leave from school, Charlie was taking another day 'to get over the journey'. Gideon was at the dentist's and they'd agreed to meet in the afternoon to get some practice in for sports day and the swimming gala.
"Who's there?" came Charlie's distinctive dark brown raucous voice.
"Bart Simpson," Jamie called back.
"Duh, come in then."
"What are you doing, Charlie?"
"Uploading the snaps from Prague."
"Can I have a look?" Charlie nodded. "I think you'd better encrypt those before Mum and Dad get to see them." On the screen Charlie had a series of thumbnails, all of Jirí getting out of his gymnast's strip, posing naked, posing in a jockstrap, then a Speedo and then naked again and hard.
"Hey Jamie, I see your trouser snake wants to eyeball them as well" and he giggled.
"And what's that standing up in your shorts, then? You've got tent peg in your pocket, I suppose." Charlie blushed.
"Not exactly. I'm free-balling today and beginning to wish I wasn't."

"Hey, Charlie, how ya feeling today?"
"All right, I suppose."
"About Jirí, I mean. Do you want to have a chat?"
"Yeah, sure, bro, but if I tell you all about it, will you come and lie on the bed with me and cuddle me like you used to do when I was a little boy?"
"You still are," and Charlie sized up to him. Jamie simply hugged his brother. "You drive a hard bargain, Charlie." Charlie quickly encrypted all the photos he'd uploaded and put his iMac to sleep. Lying on his bed next to his big brother he said
"I don't know really where to begin."
"How about are you still boyfriends?"
"Yeah. We talked a lot about that. He still can't find a proper boyfriend at school or in the sports club and although he's been chatted up by older guys and he's the centre of attention all the time, he doesn't like it. He knows it's the wrong kind of attention and all they want is a quick thrill at his expense and he becomes another notch on their bedposts. He wants a proper boyfriend like you and Gideon."
"Do his mum and dad know he's gay?"
"I think so. I think that's why they let me sleep in his room rather than putting Gideon in there and making us two share the other room."
"Do they know Gideon and me are an item?"
"If they didn't before, they do now with all the noise you made." Jamie blushed. "It's all right, bro, just kidding. Their room was at the other end of the corridor on the other side. Mind you, we heard you," and Charlie giggled. "Especially when Gideon shouted out 'more, Jamie, more, aaagh!'"
"You're bullshitting me now, Charlie. We never did." At that Jamie started wrestling his younger brother and ended on top of him, pinning him down in a wrist hold.
"You're not as strong as Jirí," said Charlie and blew him a kiss. Jamie let go of his brother and took him in a tight, but gentle cuddle.
"Did you enjoy having proper sex?"
"Yeah, but only because it was Jirí. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. It would seem disgusting, but with Jirí it was so oooh!... and it was just the same when I did it back."
"Did you do it again?"
"Sure thing, but you know, I enjoyed sucking and being sucked more the the real thing. Don't know why."
"You have to work out what each other likes and it's different for different people and different moods. You didn't answer the question. Are you still boyfriends?"
"We've got this arrangement that if we meet someone in our own country that we like, we'll tell each other and until then we'll remain boyfriends. But I can't think of anyone I want more as a boyfriend, gay or not. I really do love Jirí, like I love you and Mum and Dad and Gideon." Jamie kissed Charlie on the cheek. "It's funny. I don't get a stiffy when you kiss me, but I do when Jirí does. I just want to be able to touch him at the moment, stroke him in his lycra gym kit." The boys fell silent and just lay there. The next thing they knew was that there was a knock and Mrs Dutton put her head round the door.
"Hallo, boys. I'm back from the shops. Elevenses?"
"Yes, please, Mum," they chorused after opening their eyes. 'They're so cute,' thought Mrs Dutton as she went back downstairs.
"Jamie, can I talk to you sometime about how to do sex properly?" The boys got back on their feet and went downstairs.
"Of course you can, but I shall need notice so that I can find out first." Charlie grinned, said
"Go on. You're bull-shitting me now," and gave his brother an affectionate punch on the arm.
"Language, Charlie," came a voice from the kitchen.
"Sorry, Mum."

The three of them sat on the patio for their elevenses, talking about the trip to Prague. Finally their mother said
"Well, boys, I must get on in the kitchen or you won't have any lunch. When are you meeting Gideon, Jamie?"
"He's coming round for two and then we're going to practise for sports day."
"What are you going to do after that?"
"It's my turn to sleep over with him this weekend."
"Okay, I just wanted to know. Snack lunch at twelve if you're running and swimming, and we want you back at teatime on Sunday so that I can make sure you're properly ready for school on Monday."
"Yes, Mum," and Jamie put on a mock scowl. Mrs Dutton went back indoors. The boys took a large blanket down to the bottom of the garden to enjoy the sun and continue their older brother to younger brother chat.

"Jamie, how long was it till you and Gideon had full sex together?"
"Quite a time compared with you and Jirí. You've got to remember it was different for us. We've known each other since we were five and I suppose we started falling in love when we were just about fourteen and we realised in June that year that we were in love and officially became boyfriends. Yeah, we used to sleep together. At first we just cuddled and snogged. Then that made us jerk each other off and it wasn't till the autumn that we began getting into blow jobs. We talked a lot about shagging, but didn't feel ready for it yet. Gradually our love became so intense that we decided we really were ready and we did it for the first time the morning after Will's birthday party."
"Do you do it every night you sleep together?"
"No, of course not. Before we were sixteen we had to be careful not to get caught. Mum and Dad and Gideon's mum and dad knew we slept in the same bed, but they never talked about it or asked questions. Then when we were sixteen they said it was legal. They didn't actually give us permission, but the fact that Gideon's Great Aunt Mathilda gave him that double bed meant that they accepted the fact. You see there's a difference between being in love and just having sex. Because we're so in love we're happy just to be able to lie next to one another and that might be it. It depends on our mood whether and how we make love." Charlie nodded to show that he was taking it all in. "With you and Jirí it's different. When you first slept together you didn't do much, but that's probably when you fell in love. Then you didn't see each other for a year and after that time you were still in love and meeting him again confirmed that. But as far as making love was concerned you were limited to a few days together. And I don't mind betting that you thought that because Gideon and I do stuff together, you felt you had to do the same stuff and that forced things along a bit quicker. Older brothers always smooth the path for younger brothers. That's the way of the world. Am I right, little brother, or am I right?" Charlie looked into Jamie's eyes, nodded and then gave him a hug and a kiss. After that they just lay there together until they heard their mother call them in for lunch.

* * *

Monday was back to school for our three heroes. Because of all that was going on there was no homework and one way or another classes were disrupted with rehearsals for this and practices for that so that the pupils had a pretty easy time of it. After school Year 11 had a practice and selection session for the swimming gala, which naturally involved Gideon and Jamie. Charlie on the other hand had decided he would go to computer club after school while he was waiting for the other two. Unfortunately, had he been at school the previous Friday, he would have known that computer club wasn't meeting again until the following term in September. To fill in the time he went and sat on a bench in front of the pavilion and while he had a book open in front of him, in reality he was daydreaming about his time in Prague and his experiences with Jirí.

He was sudden wrenched from his daydream with shouts of
"Hey, Davie, isn't that Jamie Dutton's little brother?" He looked up and saw two lads he thought were in Year 10 and always proud to be Jamie's brother readily said
"That's right. My name's Charlie."
"That's great," said the one addressed as Davie. "Hey, Jon, he's a pretty little fella," and Davie and Jon sat down on the bench, one either side of him.
"Hey, Charlie, do you suck cock like your brother?"
"Mind your own business," and Charlie tried to get back to his book.
"Little fella," said Davie "that's not friendly. We're family like you. We eat cock for breakfast, lunch and tea and we're feeling kinda hungry now."
"Well, don't let me stop you. I'll just read my book."
"Davie, it looks as if we've got a comedian here. Little fella, it's your dick we're after," and before Charlie knew what was happening they'd lifted him up and frogmarched him inside the pavilion and into one of the changing rooms, ripping his shirt. Charlie screamed, but there was no one nearby to hear him and then, instead of blind panic, blind logic overtook him and he calmed down. He was still being held by the one called Davie.
"Okay," he said "it's only fair. If you want to suck my dick, I want to suck yours."
"Now you're talking," said Jon and after pulling Charlie's zip down he dropped his own trousers and was already half hard. Davie, seeing that Charlie was co-operating, had released him. Jon was just pulling his boxers down when all hell was let loose. As quick as lightning Charlie clutched hold of his balls. The boy screamed, putting his accomplice off guard.
"Right, Davie, back off or your mate gets it." To re-enforce the point he squeezed his balls again and there was another scream. "Now get out of here. NOW! I said." Jon looked at Davie pleadingly. Davie disappeared. "Okay, you big bully, have you learnt your lesson?"
"Ye... yes," he stammered.
"I couldn't hear you properly," said Charlie giving his bollocks another squeeze.
"YEES!" shouted Jon. Charlie let go and shaking walked out of the changing room, through the pavilion and straight into the arms of Jamie and Gideon. He immediately collapsed in tears.
"What's the matter, bro?" asked Jamie.
"Ask him," he sobbed pointing towards the pavilion with his thumb. Jamie rushed into the pavilion, closely followed by Gideon, and found Jon Dunn there sitting on a bench with his trousers round his knees.
"What have you done to my brother?"
"It's what he's done to me," said Dunn, drawing breath with difficulty.
"Him and his mate Davie dragged me in here and wanted to give me a blowjob."
Jamie grabbed him and said "Is that true, Dunn?" Charlie glared at him and he nodded. Jamie was about to thump the living daylights out of him when Gideon dragged him off and held him back.
"Careful, Jamie, there are other ways of dealing with this and you don't want to get yourself into trouble."
"Thanks, bro, thanks, Gideon," said Charlie.
"You," said Gideon to Jon Dunn "get out of here. We'll deal with this tomorrow." Dunn pulled up his trousers and limped out of the pavilion.
"You know," said Charlie "I remembered how you dealt with Lacey that time and did the same."
"We're proud of you, Charlie," and they both took him in a hug.

The two older boys walked Charlie home. He had cheered up a little in their safe keeping, but he still had a torn shirt to explain.
"What am I going to tell Mum?" he asked with a worried look.
"You tell her and Dad what really happened. We were there to back you up."

Mr Dutton was already home from work when the three boys arrived. Jamie was still too angry at what had happened to speak lucidly and so it was left to Gideon to break the news to their parents and Charlie to fill in the details.
"Charlie, Jamie, you go up and change. Charlie, you'd better have a shower."
"Yes, Mum. I feel so dirty where those creeps touched me."
"When you come down, we'll have tea and talk about what we are going to do. Gideon, are you going to stay or go home?"
"I'll stay if I may, Martha. I want to see this through. An attack on Charlie is bad enough, but it's like an attack on all of us."
"You'd better phone your mother, then."

With the five sat round the kitchen table the discussion began. Mr Dutton spoke first.
"I think this is important, not just for you three, but for any other kids in the school that might be bullied. I hope you'll agree with what I'm going to say. I'm going to take the morning off work. I've already left a message on my secretary's answerphone to say I won't be there until later in the day. I'm going to make an appointment to see the headmaster. Okay so far?" The boys nodded. "Jamie and Gideon, you go to school as normal, but don't talk about this to anyone, and for goodness' sake, whatever you do, don't go anywhere near Jon Dunn and Davie Lampert." Two nods. "Charlie, you can come in with me for whenever the appointment is. Before you go to bed tonight I want you to write down exactly what happened, even down to hurting your attacker. Make sure you make it clear it was in self-defence... and do try to remember the technical term is testicles, okay? Then try and forget about it till the morning. Is everyone in agreement?" The three boys nodded and said yes.
"Eric, do you want us to write down what we saw?" asked Gideon.
"It'll be a good idea."

The next morning Jamie and Gideon went off to school as normal. Mr Dutton waited until the half past eight news had finished on the wireless and Terry Wogan started reading out an e-mail from his listener. Then he phoned the school.
"Could you put me through to the Headmaster's secretary, please?"
«Certainly, which name shall I say?»
"Dutton."
«Just bear with me one moment, Mr Dutton.» A well worn rendering from one of Vivaldi's Four Seasons exuded from the earpiece of the telephone.
«Headmaster's secretary. Good morning, Mr Dutton. How can I help you?»
"I'd like an appointment to see the Headmaster this morning, please."
«I've got his diary here and I'm afraid he is fully booked until the end of term. Can I put you down for next Monday at ten o'clock?»
"No, thank you. This is rather an urgent matter. I would like to see him today."
«I regret that's not possible.»
"Then I'm afraid I shall have to report the matter to the police. Thank you. Goodb..."
«Just a minute, Mr Dutton. Would you hold the line, please? The Head's not in his office. I'll try his mobile number. Please bear with me.» Vivaldi again rushed to make his escape from the earpiece of the telephone.
*click* «Mr Dutton, are you able to come in for nine o'clock?»
"I shall be there with my son Charlie. Would you make a copy of the school's bullying policy available for me when I arrive?"
«Certainly, Mr Dutton.»
"Thank you for your help. Goodbye. Okay, Charlie, we're in for nine."

Charlie picked up his schoolbag, kissed his mother goodbye and followed his father into the garage to get the car out. They went straight towards the headmaster's 'suite' to be greeted by his secretary.
"Good morning, Mr Dutton, again. Good morning, Charlie. Here's the copy of the bullying policy you requested. The Head won't be a moment. He's just doing his rounds of the school. The Deputy will be taking assembly." The last sentence sounded a little reproachful. After a few minutes the phone on the desk buzzed and the secretary said
"The Head's free now," and showed father and son into his office.

"Good morning, Mr Dutton, Charlie." They shook hands.
"Please take a seat. How can I help you?"
"My son Charlie was sexually molested after school yesterday by two boys while he was waiting to go home. It was only by some quick thinking and the arrival of his brother and his part... his friend that he was saved or it could have been worse."
"Could you give me some details, please?"
"It concerns two boys called David Lampert and Jonathan Dunn. I've got some statements here written by my sons and Gideon Farthing." The Head read them through, then lifted his phone.
"Mrs Badham, would you take an urgent note to Mr Cottle in assembly and ask him to arrange for David Lampert and Jonathan Dunn Year 10 to be escorted to me immediately after assembly? And I do mean escorted.
«...»
"Thank you, Mrs Badham, and ask Charles Dutton's form tutor to come as well. Sorry, one thing more. I'd like Dunn and Lampert to be kept in isolation with their escort and would you re-arrange any appointments before ten o'clock?"
«...»
"Yes, the escort can be a prefect." He put the phone down. "Mr Dutton, I regard these accusations as very serious. Have you got time to stay here with Charlie?" Mr Dutton nodded. "Then Mrs Badham will take you to reception and I'm sure some tea or coffee will be available. I hope not to keep you waiting too long. It will depend on what these boys have to say for themselves."
"Thank you, Headmaster, for seeing us so quickly."

Dutton, père et fils, settled down in the receptionist's office. Mr Dutton studied the bullying document he had been given. Charlie went into an adolescent daydream, part flashbacks of the previous evening, part fantasies of his stay in Prague. After about twenty minutes the receptionist answered a phone call and said
"Mr Dutton, would you and Charlie go up to the Head's study, please?" They climbed the stairs and were ushered in by Mrs Badham.
"Mr Dutton, I've interviewed Dunn and Lampert and they've admitted they were involved last night. Their Head of Year is talking to them now, particularly after what Charlie put in his report, to see if they have been doing anything similar. When we've assessed this fully, I shall call their parents in, suspend them until the end of term and then consider any other action necessary. While I am not in a position to condone any kind of violence, I accept that what Charlie did was in self-defence and justifiable as such. I must commend Jamie and Gideon Farthing for not taking things into their own hands and I shall see them before the day's out. Have you a number where I contact you during the day?" Mr Dutton gave him his mobile number. "Charlie, you should go back to your class and should anything like that happen again, or any kind of bullying, you must tell a member of staff and say that I would like to know about it."
"Thank for your swift action, Headmaster. I don't think it's done any lasting harm to Charlie. He's a tough little character. Charlie, off you go now and I'll see later at home."
"Bye, Dad. See you later."

"Headmaster, I've read the bullying policy and because of what I read, I'd like you to know that both of my sons are gay, although they don't advertise the fact. They're a challenge, but we're coping well as a family, and I hope you'll understand why I reacted so quickly. I'd just like to thank you and say I have full confidence in what you're doing. Goodbye, Headmaster."
"I assume you no longer find it necessary to involve the police. Goodbye, Mr Dutton."

* * *

The next few days flew past and then the summer holidays were there. Gideon won his 1500m race, but failed to break the school record, which he put down to his trip to Prague. Oh well! There's always next year. However, Charlie won the 200m sprint in his year group and also took the 100m freestyle prize in the swimming gala. Jamie too won the 100m U16 freestyle and added a certificate for his part in the 4 x 100m relay.

The families spent the holidays as they had done the previous years with Gideon joining the Duttons on the Adriatic and Jamie joining the Farthings and great Aunt Mathilda in Switzerland. The surprise was the arrival in the second half of August of an e-mail from the Patáceks. Dr Patácek was attending a conference in Brighton. Could he bring Jirí to stay with the Duttons for a week? Naturally the answer was yes and it coincided with the time Charlie would have spent on his own while Jamie was in Switzerland. Of course Jamie and Gideon were disappointed to have missed Jirí and were eager to know how he and Charlie had got on in their absence.

* * *

At the end of August Gideon and Jamie received their GCSE results. They had each passed all ten subjects with a mixture of A and A* grades. They felt that their hard work during the school year had paid off and they were looking forward to returning to school as sixth formers in a new style of uniform. While they would be in the Lower Sixth, or Year 12, Charlie would be starting in Year 9. This year he wanted to make a determined effort to get into the school rugby team. It would be difficult because of the 'established' players, but he had grown quite a bit over the summer and he hoped that might help him take the place of someone who was getting left behind physically. It would be more difficult for Jamie and Gideon because now they were in the sixth form they didn't play by age group, but in the 1st, 2nd or 3rd XV. The first XV was out of the question until they were in the Upper Sixth, but they hoped to stay together with Will and Alex in the 2nd XV.

The boys soon got into the term time routine. Over the years their love for one another had deepened and received its physical affirmation at weekends. On the other hand it had matured to the extent that they did not have anything to prove in public and although well known, their relationship was rarely mentioned among their friends at school or at the athletics club. They had their lovers' tiffs as lovers do and they enjoyed them.

It was Friday again and after getting their schoolwork out of the way they decided to watch a DVD and go to bed. As they lay on the bed together, arms around one another, Jamie remarked
"Hey, Gids. It's about time you had a shave. It's like kissing a hedgehog." Gideon ran his hand over his own face, then Jamie's.
"Smooth as a baby's bum and twice as smelly," joked Gideon. "I thought it was only eunuchs that didn't grow a beard."
"You've had your fingers and tongue between my legs enough times to know whether I'm a eunuch or not," retorted Jamie.
"Prove to me once more you're not." Gideon zapped the film and they got down to some serious research into the matter. After processing the results they fell asleep.

* * *

"He didn't say anything about this?" cried Jamie all of a sudden.
"Who? What? Where? When?" asked Gideon calmly, still metaphorically contemplating his navel. It was one of the boys' favourite kind of Saturday - Jamie staying at Gideon's and so no sudden opening of the door, followed by a knock and an 'Oops, sorry, guys,' from Jamie's younger brother, the luxury of a kingsize bed whose mattress springs didn't even creak when things got serious, Gideon's parents on the shopping trawl to Waitrose and other places so that they weren't inhibited and a school rugby match at home, but not until the afternoon so that they could spend the morning having a lie-in in bed. It was that period of calm after the excitements of their lovemaking when they could just lie next to one another under the duvet, content and in love, simply knowing that the other was there.

Jamie was idly leafing through Gideon's new copy of GY magazine. Gideon hadn't even had time to look at it himself despite its centre fold of a naked Jessie Dumanch to celebrate his twenty-first birthday.
"Are you going to tell me, Jamie, or have I got to wrestle you to get a glimpse of what you're talking about?"
"I hadn't thought of that possibility, but I'm off luxuries. Do you recognise this photograph?" Jamie showed him.
"Never seen him before in my life."
"It's Jirí, Jirí Patácek."
"Never heard of him." Jamie rolled up the magazine and bashed him over the head.
"Stop winding me up, Gids." Jamie unrolled the mag and showed him a picture of Jirí in full kit with an uncustomary bulge in his long gym trousers.
"Wicked. What's it say?"
"'Interview with up and coming young Czech gymnast Jirí Patácek by Charles Dutton' He's not mentioned a word about it, the crafty little sod. And Charles! I ask you. He'd slaughter me or you if we called him Charles. Not that I'd want to except as a piss take. He's just my brother Charlie. Huh!" *pout*
"Now calm down, Jamie, or I'd say you were envious."
"No, it's okay, Gids. I'm really very proud of him. It's just that we've never had any secrets."
"Perhaps he didn't want to disappoint you if it didn't come off."
"I wouldn't even be disappointed with you if you didn't come off," Jamie giggled.
"I'm trying to be serious."
"I know and it's making me horny."
"Well, you'll have to remain horny till after the rugby match. I'm saving myself and I need to manufacture some more love juice after last night and this morning, Jamie Eric Dutton, stud of this parish."
"Give me a kiss, Gids, then I'll read this article out." Gideon gave him a light kiss on the lips, then lay back in his listening pose. Jamie began to read out parts:

«CD Hallo, Jirí. Thank you giving this interview for GY magazine. When did you first become interested in gymnastics?
JP When I was six and I saw it on television at the Olympics from America and I thought I would like to do that. Through his business my father knew a trainer who tested me and said I had potential. I joined a small club and then aged twelve I went to SK Hradcany where the training was more advanced. I could take part in international competitions.
...
CD Where did you learn to speak English?
JP At home. My father is a business man who travels and my mother is a teacher for English and we speak it home.
CD Can you speak any other foreign language?
JP I speak German, but that is traditional in some Czech families. After the end of the Hapsburg Empire in 1918 when the Czech lands were free from Austria-Hungary, many continued to speak German as well as Czech.
...
CD What is your greatest ambition?
JP I want to win an Olympic gold medal in gymnastics for the Czech Republic.
CD What will you do when you leave school?
JP It depends. If I am good enough to continue to train, I can still do that at university. I think I will go to university anyway.
CD What will you study?
JP I don't know yet. Sports Studies would be rather easy for me, but if I wanted something academic I might study English and German like my mother. However, I might have to study Commerce so that I can take over my father's company. It is too early to decide.
...
CD What do you do in your free time?
JP I train for gymnastics. There is little time for other things especially in school time, but football and swimming all count as training. In the holidays I try to rest between training. I read when I can and watch television and I have a computer and the internet.
...
CD Tell me, Jirí, have you got a girlfriend?
JP No, with my training I have not really time to have one, and as this is for GY magazine I can tell you my secret. I am not terribly interested in girls.
CD Have you got a boyfriend?
JP I met this wonderful boy when I was on tour in England and we immediately fell in love. We have seen each other since here in Prague and in England, but we have an agreement that if we find a boy in our own country, the other one will give way.
CD And you have found no one in Prague?
JP No one, not at school, not at my sports club.
...
CD Jirí, thank you for talking to me and the best of luck for getting to the Olympics.
JP Thank you, Charlie. I hope your readers in England will find this interesting.»

"You've got to admit it, Jamie, he's done very well, both in writing it and getting it accepted. He's obviously thought it through. I must remember not to leave my mags lying around. It could be embarrassing... to the finder... ha ha."
"I'm so proud of him. I love him to pieces."
"More than you love me?"
"Don't wind me up like that. Please, Gideon." He gave Gideon a doleful look. "It's a different kind of love. Perhaps it's because you're an only child that you don't understand, but do you love your mother and father more than me? He's my brother, blood, family. You're my lover and maybe one day you'll be my husband and then family in a different way."
"I didn't mean to be so serious, but I think I'm beginning to understand. Kiss me, Jamie, and then we must get up. Mum and Dad'll be back soon."

* * *

It was yet another of those balmy Saturday mornings towards the end of the year. Nothing for Gideon and Jamie to get out of bed for until Gideon's parents come back from shopping, but usually that wouldn't be until midday, the satisfied feeling of a successful night and morning of lovemaking in the comfort of a kingsize bed, and now the deeply satisfying feeling of holding each other in a cuddle, the only noise the ticking of the alarm clock interspersed with the occasional groan or moan of pleasure as the touch of their bodies changed. Gideon was about to place a light kiss on his boyfriend's lips when they heard a ring at the front door.
"Oh, no! What can that be?" complained Jamie.
"No idea, but I'd better go and find out, I suppose." Gideon got out of bed, pulled on the boxers that he officially slept in, and usually did Sunday to Thursday nights, and then his dressing gown. "It could be the mail, but then the postman always rings twice." He padded downstairs while Jamie took the opportunity to go to the bathroom. When Gideon opened the front door, what should he find there, or more precisely whom, but an extremely tearful Charlie clutching a piece of paper in his hand? Gideon immediately took him in a hug and said "What's the matter, Charlie?" Charlie just bawled even louder in his arms. "You'd better go on up to my room. You'll find Jamie there. I'll just take your bike round the back so it doesn't get nicked." Charlie was reluctant to let go of Gideon, but he finally did and took the stairs up to Gideon's room while he secured the bicycle.

When he got back upstairs he found the two brothers in a hug and between the sobs he could make out the words
"He's dumped me. It's not fair. He's dumped me." What the two older boys secretly feared had happened. Gideon slipped the piece of paper out of Charlie's hand and saw that it was the print-out of an e-mail. He read it out quietly so that Jamie would know what it was all about.
«My dearest Charlie, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll be as simple as possible. You have not forgotten our agreement that if one of us finds a boy in our own town we would give way to the other. I have found a nice boy called Josef. He is a gymnast like me, but a year younger and I think you know him. We came out to each other in the showers by accident. You know what it's like for boys in there. You can't hide it. We went on a date to the movies and now we are boyfriends. I hope you don't mind too much. I'm sorry I had to be the first one to do this. I will always keep a small space for you in my heart and love you still in a different way. I am so sorry. I hope we can remain friends. Your Jirí» Charlie cried even louder.

Jamie led his brother over to the bed, sat him down while he took his trainers off for him and laid him in the middle. The two boys then lay either side of him and took him into a combined hug. Gideon took some tissues and lovingly wiped some of the tears away.
"You still love him, Charlie, don't you?" said Gideon. Charlie nodded with a sob. "Just think of him as being happy with Josef and we'll see what we can do about finding you a new boyfriend." Charlie nodded and both older boys kissed him on the cheek. He then slowly dozed off into a light slumber.
"He'll be okay when he wakes up," whispered Jamie.

After a quarter of an hour or so Charlie did indeed wake. He looked into his brother's eyes and said
"I love you, Jamie," then turned towards Gideon and said "I love you too, Gideon." They both kissed him on the cheek and then all three lay still, two seventeen year olds flanking a fourteen year old, but it could have been the same as it was a few years ago when Jamie was nine and Charlie six and one or both of them had troubles. Time had only made their bodies grow up. Despite being so physically mature all three of them were in so many ways still children. Charlie pushed his lower lip forward and looked up at his brother pleadingly.
"Jamie, can I put my hand between your legs?"
"No, Charlie. I'm your brother and that would be incest."
"Is it still incest if I put my hands between my brother-in-law's legs?" Both of the older boys were taken aback by the assumption Charlie had made that Gideon was his brother-in-law. At the same time they felt honoured while wanting to laugh nervously, but they controlled themselves and maintained the gravity of the moment with Gideon answering,
"Charlie, I don't know whether it's incest or not, but Jamie and I made a commitment to one another and we don't play around with other boys."
"Or girls," added Jamie. At that Gideon knew he sounded pompous, but felt it had to be said and Charlie accepted it. He kissed Gideon, then Jamie.
"God, Jamie, you need a shave." Gideon laughed at the irony of the remark.
"Not before a rugby match," replied Jamie "and anyway Gids and me, we like a bit of manly roughness."
"Get off, you great poofs," said Charlie laughing now that the sun had broken through the clouds over his soul.
"Why am I suddenly reminded of the words pot, kettle and black?" asked Jamie rhetorically. The remark was not lost, but the important thing was that Charlie was on an even keel again, important as he had been asked to act as a reserve for the afternoon's U14 rugby match.
"Are you going to e-mail Jirí back?" asked Gideon.
"Jirí who?" said Charlie. It was a joke, and he would, but it meant that he was beginning to get over his setback.

"Come on, guys," said Gideon. "You can help me change the bed." Since Great Aunt Mathilda had given him the kingsize bed, the arrangement was that Gideon would change his own bed and put the bed linen into the washing machine. It saved the embarrassment of naturally starched sheets and the odd lube stain and discarded fruit flavoured condom being discovered hidden under the duvet. Jamie loved it when he was there. Arriving on Friday he positively relished the scent of Gideon's body soaked into the linen, while on Saturday they wallowed in the luxury of a fresh clean bed.
"What's that?" asked Charlie naïvely, pointing as Gideon and Jamie pulled off the fitted bottom sheet.
"It was Aunt Mathilda's idea. It's called an incontinence sheet and it stops the mattress from getting stained with spunk."
"Or if you wet the bed?" asked Charlie.
"Why, do you need one?" asked Jamie.
"No, but you do." At that Jamie wrestled his little brother onto the half made bed.
"Hey, guys. We're supposed to be making the bed, not messing it up." Both Dutton boys stopped and in unison pouted, put their thumbs in their mouths, fluttered their eyelids and said
"Sorry, Gideon." It was at times like this that Gideon loved them even more.

* * *

The Farthing parents arrived home just as Gideon and Jamie had got dressed and Gideon was putting his stuff into the washing machine.
"Hi, boys," said Mr Farthing. "Hallo, Charlie. Good to see you here as well. Does that crushed bicycle under the car in the garage belong to you?" Charlie nodded in shock.
"Sorry, Dad, that's my fault. I put it there."
"You don't have to lay a bike down on the ground every time. You can lean against the garage wall."
"It's all right, Charlie. Dad's only joking." Charlie looked noticeably relieved.
"Are you going to stop and have some lunch with us?" asked Mrs Farthing. "It's only a light snack because the boys have got rugby this afternoon."
"I have too. I'm only a reserve, but I'd love to stay," he said in his winning and naturally charming manner.
"You'd better telephone your mother and ask of it's all right and if it is, we'll run you home to collect your school uniform and your rugger kit when we take Gideon and Jamie in."

As luck would have it, the minibus bringing the visiting U14 team was delayed and their game got off to a late start, which meant that after clapping their opponents in the 2nd XV match off the field Jamie and Gideon could put on their tracksuits and jog across to support the U14s. They caught up with the Dutton and Farthing parents who were able to explain that Charlie went on because one of the school flankers had twisted his ankle and had to come off. So Charlie was blooded. Just before a scrum on their side of the field he spotted his brother and 'brother-in-law' and waved to them before he bound on. Both Gideon and Jamie had been looking at Charlie in his rugby kit and talking about him. He really did look the part. Adolescence had been kind to him and he was blossoming into a really well put together fourteen year old, destined to break the heart of so many members of the opposite sex and of one or two of the same sex as well.
"You know, Jamie, if I didn't have you, I could easily fall in love with him."
"You baby-snatching little perv," replied Jamie giving his boyfriend a friendly punch on the arm. "But you know, if I didn't have you, so could I and he's not heavy, he's my brother."
"And there's nothing pervy about that, Jamie, is there?"
"Gids, why don't you just piss off?" Gideon watched Charlie as he bound onto the scrum and couldn't take his eyes away from his offside buttock peeping out from his short, but wide-legged and loose white shorts displaying the strap of his jockstrap (or was it one of Jamie's old ones?) while experiencing a twitching and a stirring in his own, so much so that he nearly missed Charlie making a break with the ball on the blind side, too quick for his opposing flanker, and going over the line for a try. The school supporters erupted, more so because the other senior teams had now come across to support the junior side. From being 'just a reserve' Charlie had become the hero of the moment, later to be confirmed as man of the match. At the end of the game the two families combined to clap him off the field and Jamie and Gideon put their arms around his shoulders as all three went off to the changing room.

* * *

On the following Monday at school Jamie and Gideon walked past a table in the dining hall where Charlie was deep in conversation with another Year 9 boy. He didn't even notice them.
"Hey, Gids, isn't that one of the U14 props Charlie's talking to?"
"Think so. When you play flanker you've got to get on well with your props since you spend half the match with your face shoved up their bums," and they went off to join Alex and Will.

If they could have been a fly on the wall, they might have found the conversation quite interesting.
"Great game on Saturday, Charlie. You deserved that Man of the Match award. I'll tell you what. You're a much better wing forward than Sammy Walton. At least you know how to pack down properly and I was getting fed up with his bony shoulder digging into my arse."
"Harry, do you think I'll keep my place in the team?"
"You ought to for next week. Let's face it. Sammy's not going to be fit enough by then and don't forget what they say. You should never change a winning team." Charlie and Harry had one thing in common - their hairstyle. They both had a thatch that no matter what they did stuck out in every direction. It suited them both. The only difference was that while Charlie's hair was straw blond Harry's was jet black. But that was where the similarities for the moment ended. Harry was the typical build for a rugby prop, small and thickset. Having said that, there wasn't an excess ounce of fat on him. Charlie didn't know whether he worked out or not. They were always told that fourteen was too young to start building muscles, but Harry had a natural set to begin with. He could get round the park as quickly as most of the others in the side.

The boys carried on eating their lunch. Harry looked up and whispered to Charlie.
"Do you mind if I ask you something?"
"Try me," answered Charlie in his normal loud, raucous, dark brown voice.
"Are you gay like your brother?" Harry continued to whisper.
"Gay like my brother? He doesn't even know the meaning of the word. I'm ten times gayer than he knows how to be." Despite the background noise the assembled company in the dining hall could have heard him.
"Have you got a boyfriend?"
"No. Used to have, but he lives abroad and we decided to split up. I still love him, but now we're just good friends."
"Oh."
"Why?"
"Nothing. How did you find out you were gay, Charlie?"
"Dunno really. I think it's because my brother was and I liked the same things he did. Then suddenly when that group of gymnasts from Prague came to stay it happened. I had to share my bedroom with Jirí and we got talking and we sort of did some stuff together and then when I went back to Prague we did some more serious stuff and sort of became boyfriends. Well, not sort of. We really did become boyfriends."
"Oh," and Harry got on with his food.

The Monday routine continued, that is to say Gideon went round to Jamie's to do his homework, then made his way home. There was little these days they could do to help one another as they were doing different subjects in the sixth form, but it meant that they could have a couple of hours together undisturbed. Did I say undisturbed? For at that moment the door to Jamie's bedroom crashed open with a
"Hey, guys..." from Charlie, "whoops, sorry," and a well rehearsed withdrawal followed by the ritual closure of the door, a knock from outside and the equally ritual answer from Jamie of
"If you're beautiful and male, you can come in." Once that answer had backfired when it was Jamie's mother outside with a snack for the two boys which she promptly took downstairs again and put back in the pantry and the fridge. "What can we do you for?" asked Jamie.
"Fifty p," came the reply as quick as a flash. "In fact, as it's you two, 25p each and it can go to charity."
"You're only worth 5p and that's just on Sunday when it's double time."
"Geroff. Anyway, I want to know what to call my balls."
"Have you tried the word testicles?" enquired Gideon drily.
"Or peanuts?" came the facetious answer from Jamie.
"They're bigger than yours," protested Charlie.
"In your dreams, peewee. Anyway, would you like to explain to us what you're talking about?"
"It's the latest idea we've had in Year 9."
"Einstein eat your heart out."
"It started with Terry Gibson. He happened to mention he calls his left bollock Laurel and his right one Hardy. He got the idea from his brother who calls his Ant and Dec."
"Well, I suppose that sets the intellectual level then," said Jamie.
"I've got an idea," said Gideon. "Why don't you call them Tom and Harry?"
"Who on earth are Tom and Harry?" asked Charlie.
"No one on their own, but at least you'll have Tom, Dick and Harry!" Charlie picked up a pillow and threw it at Gideon.
"Hey, hold on," said Jamie. "That's a very good idea. All the others'll have two names and you'll have a name for all three."
"It's rubbish. You're only backing it because Gideon said it."
"Mmm, that's another good reason," said Jamie. "Well, Gids, it's nice to have your help asked for and then told it's rubbish."
"When have you got to make up your mind by?" asked Gideon.
"Thursday. We're going to have a big christening ceremony in the showers after games. The rugby team has got to do it, and anyone else who wants to can join in as well."
"So you're anyone else that wants to?" teased Jamie.
"Noo! I think not. Were you man of the match in your team on Saturday?" Charlie asked, huffing on the finger nails of his right hand, polishing them on his jersey and looking very proud.
"We're far too grown up in the Seconds to have things like that," fibbed Jamie. Charlie blew a raspberry. "Come here, Charlie. Give me a hug. We'll see what we can come up with for you. Let Gideon and me get on with our homework and I'll have a chat with you at bedtime." Charlie gave Gideon a hug as well and left them to get on with their work, naturally slamming the door behind him.

Tuesday lunchtime the conversation continued. Charlie and Harry were sitting together eating their food.
"Look, Gids. Charlie's talking to that Harry Bowman again," said Jamie and brushed Charlie's shoulder as he walked past. Not a flicker. Charlie and Harry were staring into each other's eyes as they chatted and got on with their lunch.
"Charlie, have you decided what you're going to call your balls yet?"
"I've had one or two ideas, but nothing that really grabs me yet. Marks and Spencer's the nearest I've got to it so far. How about you?"
"Not really. I want it to be really original. Brighton and Hove's the best I've got up to now." They finished their lunch and went off to change for games. Charlie was keen to put up a good showing to keep his place in the team.

With all the work he'd put into the afternoon's session he was really looking forward to getting into the showers. However, he was held back by Mr Page, the games master, who wanted to talk to him about his performance on Saturday. When he finally got into the showers most of the year group had already showered and gone and the remainder soon disappeared to catch their buses and trains, leaving him alone with Harry Bowman.
"Harry, are you checking me out?"
"I don't need to. I've been doing it for two and a half years and I like what I see."
"Are you gay, then?" asked Charlie.
"Give me a kiss and I'll tell you." Charlie walked over to the door of the shower room. No one nearby. All the boys were getting on with changing and Mr Page was talking with a group at the far end of the changing room. He walked back towards Harry, shoved him against the wall between two of the shower heads and kissed him on the lips. To his surprise Harry put his arms round his waist and pushed his tongue into his mouth. Meanwhile, down below, he could feel Harry's dick growing and pushing against his groin. His own reacted likewise. Charlie broke the kiss.
"I don't think you need answer that question." He unhooked the shower head, turned the cold water on and sprayed both Harry and himself in the groin to prevent questions being asked later. It had an instant effect. At that moment there was a voice at the shower room door. It was Mr Page.
"Come along, you two boys. Stop fooling around, turn the showers off and go and get changed. Some of us want to go home." He turned round and disappeared.
"Phew! That was a close shave," said Charlie "and I'm not talking about my pubes, either." The two of them went off with a spring in their step to dry themselves off. As they were getting dressed, Harry turned to Charlie and said seriously
"You don't really shave your pubic hair, do you?"
"Of course I do. How do you think I get it to grow in a heart shape? It's called topiary."
"What's topiary?"
"It's the gardeners' art of trimming bushes into various shapes like birds and animals."
"And hearts?" They both giggled helplessly.
"Do hurry up, Dutton and Bowman. I'm not telling you again," came the stentorian voice of Mr Page. "I'll send you to get dressed outside." They quickly put on their underpants and trousers.

Wednesday lunchtime. Harry and Charlie were having lunch together again in the dining hall, silently staring into each other's eyes as only moony adolescents can.
"Charlie, can I ask you something?"
"You just have, Harry, without asking permission."
"Shut up, Charlie. Can I ask you something else?" Charlie just continued to stare into Harry's eyes. "Why aren't you saying anything?"
"You just told me to shut up." "I didn't mean it like that. Well, can I?" Charlie laughed with his eyes as he said yes. "You know tomorrow afternoon when we christen our balls?" Charlie nodded. "I'd like you to christen mine and will you let me christen yours?"
"I don't mind. I'm out, but what about you?"
"I don't care. It might be a good way to get outed. The others can't really say much when there's a huge group of boys together holding a christening ceremony for their bollocks. That will make them all gay."
"It won't. I once read a survey in GY magazine that up to ninety percent of males in a random group can be heterosexual. Scary really."
"Are you allowed to buy GY?"
"I don't buy it. I read my brother's boyfriend's copy."
"Oh." (Harry was after all a prop and monosyllabic answers were part of the culture.) Charlie didn't think it was the right moment to let on that he'd had an interview with his ex published in it.

It was Friday evening before the three boys were together again at the Duttons' house. It was Gideon's turn to spend the weekend there. Half an hour into their homework Jamie looked at Gideon and said
"Ready?" Gideon nodded. They went along the landing and without knocking burst into Charlie's room.
"Hi, Charlie," they said in unison. It made him jump. He looked up at them all hurt and said
"Hey, guys, how many times have I got to tell you you're supposed to knock and wait until I say 'come in'. I might be jerking off or something."
"You were doing that ten minutes ago," said Jamie.
"Your bedsprings were making one hell of a noise," added Gideon.
"And I bet Mum thought it was us two up to something as well," said Jamie. Gideon and Jamie ritually put their thumbs in their mouths, looked out of the top of their eyes and said
"Sorry, Charlie." They retired graciously from Charlie's room and met Mrs Dutton on the landing. She went and knocked on Charlie's bedroom door. His clear reply came.
"If you're queer, you can come in." Mrs Dutton opened the door and marched in.
"That's quite enough of that, Charles Dutton. Any more and you won't be going to the pictures tomorrow evening." Charlie's face turned scarlet.
"Sorry, Mum. I thought it was..."
"I know what you thought and we'll have a little respect in this house if don't mind, young man." Meanwhile Jamie and Gideon had disappeared quickly back to Jamie's room, closed the door and were rolling around on their beds, pissing themselves trying to muffle their laughter.

When the coast was clear they went back to Charlie's room, knocked and waited for his clear 'come in'. They still couldn't stop laughing.
"You got me into trouble," said Charlie reproachfully.
"We did?" said Jamie. "It wasn't us that said anything." They could judge that Charlie had reached that watershed where he would either burst into tears or burst into laughter. So they both went up to him and gave him a great big hug. "We only wanted to know how the christening went at school yesterday. We didn't get much of a chance to chat last night."
"Great. Only about half of us could do it because of the time, but we formed a circle round the shower room while the others blocked up the doorway so that if any of the staff came along we had a warning and they couldn't see what was happening anyway. I was standing next to Harry Bowman and when it was my turn he christened my bollocks and I christened his."
"What did you call yours?"
"You know the star sign Gemini - it's a constellation really?" The other two nodded. "Well, I got Harry to christen them Castor and Pollux because they're my heavenly twins. At least they felt like it when he christened them."
"And what did you christen his?" asked Gideon?"
"He went for a threefold name after the shoe shop Freeman, Hardy and Willis, and his dick really was Hardy when I christened it. The others laughed, but he wasn't the only one. Terry Gibson had to have the cold water treatment before going to dry off." They all laughed.
"Any specially good names?" asked Jamie.
"Usual sort of thing - Bill and Ben, Morecambe and Wise, Rhubarb and Custard. But I suppose the most original one - apart from mine, of course - was Home and Away."
"Hey, Charlie," said Jamie, "that Harry Bowman, is there anything going on between you two?" Charlie beamed and nodded.
"We're going out on a date tomorrow night to the pictures."
"Is he your new boyfriend?"
"No, but ask me that question again on Sunday," and he gave a knowing wink. Jamie grabbed his 'little' brother in a hug.

"Guys, can you give me a little help, please?"
"You want to know what to wear?" said Gideon.
"Or how to have your hair done," added Jamie.
"No, but..." and unusually for him he lowered his voice. "How far can you go on your first date?" Jamie and Gideon looked at one another.
"It's difficult to say really," said Gideon. "Because we grew up together we never really had a proper first date." The older boys thought for a moment. Jamie was the first to speak.
"Are you sure, bro, Harry's gay and you're not just two lads going to the cinema together?"
"Oh, yeah. He came out to me in the showers on Tuesday and there was nooo mistaking, I can tell you... wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more."
"I wouldn't go any further than putting your arm round him in the cinema, or holding hands. What are your plans?"
"Mum said we've got to go to the early showing because she doesn't want us out in town late on a Saturday. So we're going off straight after the rugby match, having tea in Burger Star, then going to the early showing. Then Mr Bowman's going to pick us up and take us back to Harry's, then Mum's going to fetch me from there at ten."
"That should give you plenty of time," said Gideon.
"But don't push your luck, bro. You might frighten him off," added Jamie. "Remember while you might be 'experienced' this could be his first time."
"Thanks a lot, bro, thanks Gideon."
"One more thing," said Jamie. "Whatever you do, don't kiss in public, even if you're in the back row. Not everyone's as enlightened as our families and you might get beaten up."
"Charlie," said Gideon, "now you've called me your 'brother-in-law', can I call you 'bro' too?"
"Can I call you Gids like Jamie?"
"It's a deal, bro" and they sealed it with a hug.

That request was more significant than either Charlie or Jamie could have suspected. Gideon was deeply in love with Jamie; there was no question about that. But since the previous Saturday when he had watched Charlie playing in his rugby kit there was something like an adolescent crush which he felt for his boyfriend's younger brother. He reminded him of Jamie when he was that age. Quite a battle had been raging inside him, but he had bottled it up and said nothing about it to Jamie. He was praying that now Charlie had the possibility of his own boyfriend again and now that he could call him 'bro' like the brother of his own he had never had, that might help him to get things back to normal.

* * *

Charlie and Harry's rugby match was away in the morning that Saturday. They had lunch at the host school and sought permission previously to change into their casual clothes. They could deposit their kit with their parents before returning on the school coach. The matches had taken place at split venues. The Duttons had travelled to the away game to support Charlie as it was only his second match, while the Farthings were with the 2nd XV at home to give Gideon and Jamie their support.

It was mid-afternoon by the time Charlie and Harry were back in town and since it was late autumn it was already getting dark. The boys were hungry again and so made their way directly to Burger Star where they each consumed a double cheesy bacon and burger whopper with double fries for the price of a single on offer. They didn't have to queue for the cinema. To celebrate their first date they paid the extra to go up into the balcony and found themselves seats in the back row. It was only five minutes into the main feature, The Magic Roundabout, that Charlie felt Harry's arm round his shoulder. He responded by placing his right hand on the inside of Harry's thigh. And so they remained throughout the film. As they left, Harry phoned home on his mobile and his father was soon there to take them both back. Charlie had briefly met Mr and Mrs Bowman on the touchline at his two games, but now they made him welcome and had prepared a snack for the two boys. After a respectable time Harry announced
"Mum, we're going up to my room to play games. Is that okay?"
"Off you go. Have you had enough to eat?"
"Yes, thank you very much, Mrs Bowman," said Charlie.
"Try not to play your music too loud, Harry."
"Yes, Mum. Thanks for the snack."

Once upstairs Harry closed his door and put a Gorilla Snot CD on... quietly. He took Charlie by the hand and led him across the room until he was leaning against the bedroom door.
"Put your hands round my waist." Charlie simply melted. He was like putty in his hands. He drew Harry closely in towards him so that he could feel his dick hardening against his own. They kissed... long and deep. "Charlie, I've wanted to ask you something for a long time now. Will you be my boyfriend?"