In the transition from July to August the weather seemed to share my sense of happiness. The highest temperature of the year so far had occurred on the week I was meeting Leroy. Even before the Saturday we were due to meet we were still in regular communication and apparently he shared the nerves I did. There was a lot going through my mind, such as the possibility of his not liking me or my not liking him. I was hoping that we wouldn't have any awkward silences and that we could maintain a conversation. One of my biggest fears, though, was the thought of his not turning up. The idea of him either getting cold feet or just playing with me was enough to make me feel ill. I decided that I was probably being too pessimistic about it and I should try to be more relaxed. Deep down I felt everything was going to be okay despite the negative possibilities that had been running through my mind.
Saturday arrived quickly bringing another sizzling hot day with it. I woke up around midday, four hours before I was going to meet my date. I had a bath, a shave and brushed my teeth thoroughly. I tried my hardest to make myself appear as hygienic as possible in the hope of seeming more attractive. I changed into the clothes which I had prepared the night before. I wore dark washed jeans and a blue and green check shirt. I put on my favourite aftershave, as well as spending a substantial amount of time trying to get my short, yet unruly hair to look presentable. I always had problems with making my hair look tidy and so I tended to have it fairly short; this was both out of preference and practicality. I looked in the mirror and sighed, hoping that I'd impress my boy. My self-esteem was always on the lower side. I grabbed my wallet and phone, said goodbye to my mum and left for the bus stop. Leroy lived in a different town from me. It was only about 10 to 15 minutes away by bus. I was going to meet him first and then we were going to get a different bus into the nearby city. Neither town we lived in had a cinema or many affordable restaurants. The bus had arrived shortly after I got to the stop. I paid for my ticket and took a seat on the back row. It's strange how time seems to accelerate when you're nervous. As the bus began to go move off following its route, I watched apprehensively out the window whilst thinking about what to do and say later on that evening. I passed the beach of my seaside town, watching crowds of visitors as well as residents enjoying the summer sun and swimming in the sea. The bus was surprisingly empty for that time of year and only stopped very occasionally for someone. This seemed to cut the journey somewhat shorter than it should have been. Finally we passed the last stop of my town and were now heading directly for the next. Leroy phoned me to tell me he'd be waiting at the first stop. The bus that had been rolling through the countryside was now entering a slightly more residential area, and I could see a figure standing at the next bus stop. I pressed the button to notify the drive to stop and slowly the bus ground to a halt.
I stepped off the bus and I was standing face to face with Leroy. My breathing was heavy and my heart racing. Lost for words, I smiled at him and he returned a rather coy and sweet smile which made my heart miss a bit.
"Hello," I said.
"Hi," he answered. "How are you?"
"I'm quite nervous to tell you the truth. And you?"
"Yeah, me too. I've been nervous all week about meeting you. You look very handsome, Harvey." He had a quiet and smooth voice.
I went red. "Thank you. I could say the same to you."
He went slightly red at this himself. He did look really nice, though. He was also wearing jeans and he had a black polo top which had thin white stripes on. I was relieved to see he was my height. I also noticed features which the camera didn't pick up. His green pool-like eyes seemed to give off a very steady, yet kind gaze. His skin had a soft and creamy texture to it. He wasn't particularly muscular, but he was of a robust build. We stayed at the bus stop for a while and just small talked until the next bus got there to take us to the cinema.
The bus didn't take long to arrive and it only took about half an hour to get to the cinema. We decided to go and see a psychological thriller film, seeing as they were the only kind of films I really enjoyed. We got our tickets and refreshments. We got a big box of popcorn to share and a drink each. I didn't feel the way I expected to. I thought I'd be feeling paranoid about whether or not people would suspect we were both gay, but it turned out that I didn't care either way. I was proud of my boy. We went into the cinema room eight for the film and it turned out to be relatively empty. We took seats on the very back row as the adverts were playing. We had a brief, quiet discussion before the film began. Before it started I felt a hand brush against mine and we interlocked fingers. My heart started to race.
The film had come to an end. I cherished every moment of it, the way his hand tightened its grip at certain points; the way his breathing rate increased and slowed; the moments where he jumped. As the lights began to go up we let go of each other to stretch. We made eye contact and smiled as we stood up. Since the cinema was empty enough, we decided to hold hands as we left. Neither of us at that point had enough confidence to hold hands in public, so we stopped once we got to the lobby.
"Well, that movie was crap," said Leroy.
I laughed. "You were scared shitless," I retorted jokingly.
"No I wasn't. I had a big, strong man holding my hand, looking after me." He looked at me with a cheeky glint in his eyes and a devilish grin on his face.
"Holding your hand and being next to you made that movie enjoyable for me." I had butterflies in my stomach. I felt as if I were in a dream.
"Aw… Harv, you're so sweet." Leroy went a bit red again. "I'm so hungry now. I can't wait to eat."
We both agreed on pizza. So we went into a pizza restaurant. He held open the entrance door for me, but I wasn't having any of it.
"You first, mister," I said flirtatiously as I shoved him playfully through the door.
The restaurant had been decorated in a way that gave it an Italian feel. Although normally very popular, fewer people had come to dine owing to the weather. This worked in our favour as it increased the amount of privacy. The waitress had seated us in the far corner of the restaurant apart from the rest of the people. We decided to order garlic bread for starter and a pepperoni pizza for main. We started talking about general things, such as home, school and our family and friends.
"I have a good home life," Leroy began. "I only live with my mum. My dad died when I was young."
"I'm sorry to hear that," I said.
"it's okay, Harvey. It happened when I was young. My parents didn't even live together. My dad was French and my mum met him when she was on holiday in France."
"Do you speak any French then, Leroy?"
"No," he laughed. "I wasn't even very good at it in school."
Our garlic bread came and we started to eat and talk.
"Does your mum know you're gay?" I asked.
"No, she doesn't know yet, but she isn't homophobic. Sadly I'm her only son, but as I'm queer I don't think I'll be able to have my own kids, which is a shame. You're bisexual, right?"
"Yes, I think so. I've never had any girlfriends nor have I had sex with one."
"Ew, I don't get how you can be bi. I mean, girls are gross to me. I could never, ever wank over girls because they turn me off. I have friends who are girls obviously, but I could never have sex with one. I used to try to get off over girls in porn, but it never worked. I just couldn't stay hard. I'm one-hundred per cent gay and always will be. I've never even dated a girl, but I'm happy with that."
"Well, I used to like some girls. Since I started speaking to you, I feel like my feelings are changing, even more so now we've met. I'm not as keen to get married to a girl or have kids and stuff. I could definitely picture myself with a guy, maybe even you." His hand was on the table. I put my hand on top of his and rubbed it affectionately.
The waitress brought our main and my hand instantly recoiled back to my side.
"You got a bit lost in the moment there," Leroy laughed. "You're so sweet. I think I definitely want us to be long term boyfriends. You aren't like other people."
"You aren't either, Leroy," I said. "I used to be so ashamed of my feelings about boys, but I don't care anymore. I'm so incredibly proud of having you."
"Well, I wasn't that ashamed of being gay, myself. I've fancied boys for as long as I can remember. Even in primary school I can remember fancying certain boys, but it was completely innocent, of course. As I grew up I started having wet dreams over guys, but never girls. The only bad thing was the bullying in school. In year ten a rumour went around that I was gay. I was horrified and the worst thing was that I knew it was true. I got called all the normal names like poof and stuff like that. I even got pushed down the stairs once." He sounded rather sad remembering this.
I felt angry. No one hurts my boy. "Fuck them, Leroy. They're pricks and you'll always be streets ahead of them! You're amazing and only my opinion on you is right and only my opinion on you matters!"
He smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, that means a lot. You're fantastic, Harvey."
We sat in silence eating and looking up to smile at each other every now and then.
"I used to get a bit of shit at school too, but thankfully I never got pushed down the stairs. I never really knew that I was into boys, but as I grew up, before I started wanking, my wet dreams were about men. I occasionally think about girls when wanking, but mostly men. I always think it's such a shame to have started my gay life out over the internet. I expected most gay men to be nice, but if I made a judgement from that chat room we met in, I wouldn't think that. Sometimes you come across a decent guy, but most of the people in chat rooms just want sex. I guess one good thing came of it… you. I never thought I'd come close to meeting someone like you."
I moved my feet and curled them around his left ankle affectionately.
"Have you had sex with anyone yet?" he asked me.
"Urm, yeah, I have. With a guy I met of the internet who was nineteen or so. We had sex the second time we met. I seduced him as I was curious. I didn't come nor did I stay stiff, but I made him come twice. He said I was hot and stuff, but I didn't like him in that way. He was all right looking… I just liked him as friend. One day he just stopped texting me. I don't mind too much, though. There's one good thing he told me that you'll like to hear… as it turns out… I'm a natural." I winked at him. "How about you?"
The waitress came and took out plates and we ordered cookie crumble and ice cream for dessert. He waited until she was out of earshot to answer me.
"I feel so, so sick about it now, but I arranged to meet up with a guy online and we had sex in his car. I wish I'd held on to my virginity now… for you."
I felt so touched. "Don't worry about it because when we have sex, it'll be the first time either us will be doing it with someone we care about. I don't want to have sex with you; I want to make love to you. I would love to wait a while before starting though. I like you for you. I think waiting would prove something."
"You're perfect, Harvey," he said. "In every way."
The waitress brought our dessert.
"Do you think she's aware we're on a date?" I asked Leroy.
"Who cares? Women love queers anyway."
It's funny. We always seemed to use taboo words to describe our sexuality, I'm not sure why. We finished our dessert and our conversation had risen to more trivial things by the time we paid the bill. We left the restaurant and we got the bus back to the stop where we met.
"Well, I've had the most amazing night," I said.
"Me too. I don't want you to go home just yet, babe. There's a park nearby… if it's empty we can spend some time there."
He led me down a narrow alleyway which came out on to a large expanse of grass. There was a play park in the middle, houses surrounded the periphery and there was a small woodland area in one corner. Even though it was a beautiful day, the park was empty. The sun had set by now and it was twilight. As Leroy led me over to the woodland, the summer evening smell and freshly mown grass caressed my nostrils. He took me to the back of the small wood which was bordered by a garden fence. We stood close and facing each other, our eyes met in a loving gaze, my eyes lowered to his soft wet lips, and his to mine. Then very slowly and gently our lips pressed together and interlocked. We slowly kissed each other affectionately and embraced each other in a tight, passionate hug. Our dicks started to get hard and pressed into each other's crotches. We both chose to ignore this, because this kiss wasn't an attempt to gain a sexual act. This was a kiss of love.
Our lips parted. A slight rustling of leaves could be heard above the silence. Still embracing and gazing at each other, we spoke in unison.
"I love you."
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