Omnia Vincit Amor

by Rafael Henry

Chapter 6

Kirit

I went along to Stores, the room where all the boys' clothes are kept on their return from the in-house laundry, the various items stacked in piles according to size. There's a list on the wall which states which size each boy is supplied with. There are ninety-two boys in the school, and all of them board. They change their polo shirts every two days, but their nifty little underpants and short grey socks are changes daily, the items delivered each evening and that day's things removed at the same time. The boys' light grey short trousers are changed once a week. It really is truly a uniform. There are no variations in colour or style. The boys keep themselves clean according to a regime strictly enforced, showering each morning and underarm washing each night, plus any other bits that might need attention. If a boy is lazy about these essential tasks, their Supervisor will know from the boys' clothes. The boys sleep in a white cotton garment, like a tunic affair which is loose fitting for comfort, round necked and will cover a boy's body a few inches below the navel, thus when he stands up straight, his sexual parts are just visible. The boys like them because they feel; now how can I put this……… liberated might be a suitable word. Standard pyjama bottoms are restricting, hot and sweaty in the summer humidity, and for home use. Not here. The whole place is about feeling free and liberated. Unrestricted you might say, but within very clear guidelines.

I'm waiting for Felix, who is bringing Kirit with him. He will be my responsibility now. Felix will then leave us, and I am to reassess the boy's clothing. My first proper task now I'm in residence for the rest of this school year. Raphael has told me about Kirit's problems. He seems to think that my arrival will herald some sort of epiphany for Kirit. I'm not so sure but I guess it's well worth a try. Anyway I'm going to try, by being a friend to him. Maybe we won't get on. Kirit is a tricky boy. I've read the internal reports on him, so I'm a little nervous in anticipation of a first real meeting with him. So, here goes. I can hear the two boys approaching. I'm feeling very slightly anxious about all this.

'Michael, this is Kirit……Sir.' Says Felix, looking at the boy. The boy looks back at me, and encouragingly, he smiles. It's a lovely smile. Well, this is a good start.

'I'm going now. I've got a class.' Explains Felix, as he turns towards the door, and disappears through it, leaving it closed.

'Hello Kirit. I'm Michael. I'll be sleeping in your Cube from tonight onwards. Is that ok?'

'Yes, that's fine.' He says in a light treble voice, not quite pipy. Boy's voices interest me. It's not one of those privileged voices one might expect in a private prep school, but nonetheless a cultured voice, quite soft, even just those three words nicely enunciated but not clipped like some of the boys here. Like cut glass. That's Felix. He annunciates words like cut glass. I look back hard into Kirit's face. He doesn't look away, and as I give him a hint of a smile, he returns mine with his. That's nice.

'I understand we've got to get you kitted out with larger sizes. Is that right?'

'Yes.'

'Ok. And me too. With the right sizes.'

'Shall I get undressed?' the boy asks.

'Oh, yes I suppose that would be a good start. Do you mind me being here while you do that?'

'No. You have to be here don't you?'

'Yes I do I suppose. I just thought…….'

'It's fine. Will it be awkward for you?'

'No, not really. It's just…….'

'You haven't done it before?'

'No. No I haven't.'

'Our Supervisors are always there. You're new aren't you? I saw you in the pool. Do you remember?' He says, pulling his polo shirt out of his shorts, and then upwards and over his head, his lengthy dark brown hair disturbed. The boy continues to keep his eyes on me, as I keep mine on him. Interesting. I noticed a pair of prominent nipples; like hard little points, perfectly round. The boy still stands looking at me, almost through me, bare chested and waiting.

'Yes I remember. I think I saw you too. So you won't mind; will you?'

'No.'

'Your shorts look too small. We can try a larger size. So will you take those off now please.' I said as more of a command than a question. I'm in authority now. I have to sound like I am. It's an odd feeling, asking a boy to do something I want him to do. No, not asking; telling .

I like that feeling; commanding boys to do things. Being in authority, like those senior boys were when I first encountered them as a new boy in a big new school. I feared those boys, but at the same time, I admired them for their prowess, their good looks, and the way they spoke to me, kindly. It was a kind of comfort in a strange new world. Like this one is, but different. Very different.

The boys' short trousers have elasticated waistbands so they are easy and quick to remove. Nothing to undo. With both hands Kirit has his down his pale brown legs and off, placing them neatly folded on the table behind him. Next he stoops to deal with his short grey socks and places them on top of the other item. He stands nicely with his hands held together in front, covering himself, clad only in his underpants. He watches me making an assessment.

'May I' He says quietly, smiling again. 'I can help. If you'll let me?'

I really had no choice, and it's a little odd to say it, but that comment has settled me down. Kirit was offering to run this show and I'm going to let him do exactly that.

'I'm sure you're used to this routine Kirit. I think you should show me how things work, don't you?' I said, deferring to him.

That put the reins firmly in his hands.

'You need to check my pants first.'

'What for?'

'How well they fit me. Not the other thing.'

'Right. Ok then. How do they feel?'

'Nice but a bit small. I quite like them like that.'

'Why?'

'I'm not sure. They just feel good around my bottom. So everything shows nicely.'

'What does?'

'My bits……at the front, and my bottom too. So my knicks show through properly.'

'Ok. That's good is it? If they show?'

'Umm. But bigger ones might be right now…….for me. So long as everything still shows properly.'

I was about to say 'slip those off' but I was too late. He has, and then skips over to the relevant shelf, nude, to pick up a pair of size 4's, one size up. He skips back, sits on a stool and puts first one foot in and then the other, then stands to pull them into place, his slightly enlarged penis intactus arranged vertically, and his two testiculae held neatly together underneath forming the familiar small but pleasing bulge.

'Shall I put my shorts back on so you can check I still show?'

'Good idea. But try the next size up.'

I convinced him he showed perfectly well in the larger size. So all's well on that score. If anything his 'showing' was better to my mind at least. It's all there front and back but less obviously sexual. The message he clearly wants to send is now a little more subtle, shall we say. He reminded me of those Junior School boys I used to see and admire at the far end of a school year who had grown out of certain things and 'showed' alarmingly. One of the delights late on in the summer terms. The following September would find them in newly purchased shorts on the larger side hiding more upper thigh and much inferior to the restricting numbers some of us delighted in just a few weeks earlier.

'Turn around Kirit. They look fine to me. You can check in the mirror if you don't believe me. See what you think?'

There's a long mirror on the far wall. We stood beside one another and compared, my arm on Kirit's shoulder. If this new relationship is going to work, I have to show the boy I mean to be friends with him. We both stared at our own images in the mirror.

We went through the same routine with the shorts, the boys' being different to the ones most of the Supervisors wore. More for the boys rather than for men. Ours have proper pockets and zip flies and come further down the thighs. Very smart things indeed. Raf has struck a very satisfactory balance with the boys' attire I think. It keeps them within the realms of decency, well within, but strongly hints at the beauty of the form within, making the very most of each one's potential. They all look lovely. For those of us who know exactly what we are looking for, or would like to see evidence of, we get it in spades. Very clever stuff.

I got Kirit to show me his rear view.

'Are they a bit baggy?'

'Possibly. Let's go back to the smaller size.'

So off they come, and a few seconds later he's back in the smaller number. He shows perfectly in these, at least the way I love to see a boy's bottom shown off to maximum effect, and exactly what he's wearing twixt shorts and bare flesh. They're not too tight, but fitting exactly right to please at least, my eye.

'They're the same size 4 Kirit. Same as before. Are you ok with these?'

He looks pleased with his slightly revamped ensemble, as I am with mine. We're all set to go and take the world by storm! Kirit looks pleased with the result. Excited even, and the shorts he's wearing show him perfectly. He sees my eyes linger down there. He smiles and looks down.

'Goodness, you do look good in all this stuff Kirit. Tell me, do you feel good?'

'Umm. Can we talk at Rest Time please Michael?'

'Yes of course. That'll be good for both of us. I need to get to know a lot better Kirit, and I shall enjoy that.' I said, giving him another little movement on his shoulder. I think we do need to be friends. Do you think we could be?'

'I want to be friends.' He says. And then…….

'I want to be real friends with you. What you just did. No one ever does that here. No one has ever done that, except when they…….'

'What?' I said, feeling a wave of warmth run through me.

'What you just did.'

'Oh, that.'

'Would you do it again please? I really liked what you did.'

'Of course. Like this?' I said replacing my hand on his shoulder, and moving it from his neck, along the shoulder and down his arm. He said nothing this time, but looked down. What he just told has got me really worried about him. I suspect he's been starved of affection from an early age and got involved in some things that perhaps he should not have known about. I'll find out exactly what in the fullness of time. I know his parentage and details of his early life are very sketchy.

I went to report back to Raf a few minutes after I sent Kirit back to classes. I found Raf in his small office not far the Reception desk. He looks up from his work.

'Hi Mike. How did it go with Kirit? Get anywhere?'

'Very well, after the initial awkwardness on my part, not on his, about the changing stuff. He stripped off without batting an eye. He's nicely formed isn't he. Quite a looker in the altogether.'

'Indeed so. And you? Getting down to your undies with a boy looking at you?'

'Oh that was fine too. I've got him beautifully togged up now. I don't know who commissioned the clothing but it really works well.'

'I did, and yes it does. A boy's body is a wonder to behold Mike, as I think you know. Why not show them off? They deserve it. Have you ever heard that old but rather naughty joke?'

'Go on.'

'What is the root cause of Paedophilia?'

'I don't know. What is?'

'Sexy kids.'

'That's terrible Raf.'

'Yes isn't it. But sadly very true. So, back to Kirit.'

'Yes. I think he'll be responsive to a few questions. I thought Rest Time?'

'Yes, perfect. But how are you feeling now?'

'Alright. I'm looking forward to it.'

'With some underlying feelings, maybe?'

'Yes, if I'm honest.'

'And how are you going to handle those feelings?'

'I'm not sure. I think he wants a lot of physical comforting. At one point I put an arm on his shoulder. He liked that in a way that suggested to me that he has never had much of that kind of thing. What do I do if he makes it clear to me that that's what he wants from me? The physical stuff. Touching and so on. Affectionate gestures.'

'Good question. Be honest with him. But I agree with you; he's looking for comfort from someone older and you'd be perfect for him. It's a no brainer for him. It's like he's been waiting for you to turn up in his life. But then maybe we've got him all wrong. See how you go with him. Try to find out what's happened in his life thus far, before Frendon. See how far back he can remember; events, people and so on. Particularly if he can remember any abuse of any kind, or if he's prepared to tell you if he actually can remember. He may still refuse, or be unable to talk about it. He's in a bit of trouble that boy. But he's yours now. Your project.'

'Do you think he's experienced any misbehaviour here?'

'No I don't. No one has got that close to him like you already have, it would appear. I'm amazed at his reaction to you. By the way, we have never checked his phone because he has never brought one back here at the beginning of term. All the boys have a Muck Box, our words for the traditional tuck box all boys could keep private stuff in at boarding school. They all have padlocks, so no one apart from the boys themselves have access to it. It's the only truly private space they have here, and it totally sacrosanct. However, if by some remote chance he keeps one in there? Anyway, I'm going to leave him to you. Feel free to report back if you need, or want to. Some things you may want to keep private. Otherwise he's yours dear boy. And the best of British. One other thing Mike. Our Laundry Master reported some light soiling in Kirits clothing when on his collection rounds. Not just once but several times. Back and front. Whether it's deliberate I don't know. Just that you're aware. It might well fit in with his preponderance to attention seeking. You will need to check his personal cleanliness every day to start with. Can you handle that?'

'Oh. I have to actually look do I?'

'Yes I'm afraid you do have to look, and look properly . Some buttock parting involved. He won't mind you doing that. It's telling him that you care. Simple as that. If you didn't know how that boy part looks, or how they can vary quite a bit, you will soon. You are looking for inflammation, or anything that looks unusual, intervention of any kind, and of course, first and foremost, cleanliness.'

I left Raf and contemplated the task of inspecting a boy's body in that way. He's right, even tasks like that are indeed, in Kirit's case at least, acts of kindness. How I feel about doing that is I suppose my business. Obviously I have never had an infant to deal with, changing a nappy, dealing with wee and poo and that kind of thing. Kirit is certainly not a baby! It's something I have to get used to. I dare say I'll cope. But there's one other thing…….

'So, do I need to…….'

'Need to what , Mike?'

'I mean, it just looking, is it. Nothing more?'

'Ask him if he has any concerns in that area. He may have, in which case you may well need to look, or feel a little deeper. Don't be afraid to do that. If he has a worry, then you should. There may be something. Just make sure.'

I saw Kirit at lunch, sitting a couple of tables away at the end of one of the low wooden benches the boys sit on. Keeping an eye on him, I noticed he would glance in my direction quite a lot. Rest Time is just fifteen minutes away and he looks anxious. I shall be with him from the start, not just today, but every day. My tummy flipped over at the thought of waking him each morning. I know what I'm like each and every morning and what I need to do if I wake up in time to get myself sorted. Kirit will be no different. He'll have the same needs that almost all boys have when they wake. Do I leave him to it? Turn over in bed and pretend it's not going on because it will be going on. Whatever happens, I'll need to discuss it with him. Come to an arrangement that is good for both of us where nothing is hidden or secret. That is the key to this situation. No secrets, which will mean I have to be candid with him as much as he will have to be totally honest with me. I find that quite an exciting prospect. Yes, I am excited. Truly.

Raphael had moved our beds together in the Cube which in my view was wrong, so I moved them apart again so I can sit between Kirit's bed and mine. I don't want to have to lie down when he does. I'd like to open our conversations with me sitting, not lying, if that's ok by you Raf? Anyway it's surely my decision.

I was just in front of Kirit, who was already sitting on my bed half way down. When I look up and around at his entrance, I can see a question on his face.

'What is it Kirit?'

'I usually get undressed for Rest Time. Can I?'

'You may Kirit. Not can I, may I .'

'May I?'

'Yes of course.'

That's another thing with him. He's wearing a navy jumper over his pale blue polo shirt, both of which he pulls off over his head in one piece, a typically boarding school thing to do. The shorts have elasticated waistbands so they come down with one long pull, and off the feet. Underpants are next, which I take from him. I already have the rest which I neatly fold and place to my right near the single pillow. The boy reaches for the tunic-like garment the boys can sleep in if they wish. Or nothing. The white cotton garment just covers his genital area, but when he lies on the bed on his left side, knees drawn up, he's exposed to my view. I'm sure he sees me looking, which I do. I am past that stage when I pretend I'm not looking when he can see perfectly well that I am.

I have his clothes on my lap, his underpants open , as it were, on top of the navy jumper. I look down. He sees me and immediately covers his face with his hands.

'What's the matter Kirit?' I say with an air of urgency.

'You saw.'

'Yes I can see. Why are they like this Kirit? They shouldn't be. When did you last go?'

'Just before lunch.'

'What was it then? You didn't have time; or what? That's naughty.'

No satisfactory answer was forthcoming

With his eyes still covering his embarrassment, he draws up his legs towards his chest, showing me, like a compliant infant child might do, expecting the arrival of a cleansing and cooling wet wipe. With two thumbs I part the boy's buttocks and get a sight of him, in deeper. There's an issue with him, clearly.

I took him into Raf's bathroom. He knew what he should do after a BM but didn't do it, at least not sufficiently well to avoid what has happened. Another thing to find out about. He knows perfectly well what to do to avoid this situation. The procedure is a very intimate one but he was happy to go through it with me observing while I held his sleep tunic up and clear of danger as he gets his right hand behind him and does the necessary application of the thick white E45 moisturizing cream. He knows perfectly well what to do. All the boys know and perform this simple but important routine very happily and successfully. No boy here wants to wear underpants that he knows have been used yesterday by another that are not totally pristine, which they will be having undergone washing in ninety-degree hot water. The Laundry Master checks and if there's any kind of residual soiling, then out they go, but you can't keep chucking out perfectly serviceable undies willy nilly. The occasional upset tummy can't be helped. That's different. The other bonus of this curious procedure is the prevention of soreness or inflammation in the anal area caused by residual faeces or by any other kind of intervention. One finger does the trick, inserted beyond the outer sphincter and up to, or close to the prostate gland. One application usually does it, plus rinsing done by the same method. So there you have it. I had never used this method before but now I do exactly what these boys do, and it works perfectly. Lavatory paper only does part of the job. Raf told me that during his evaluation of this method, half of the boys had the beginnings of an erection due to the very pleasurable feeling it gave them. I found the same thing to be true, especially if that was combined with the other thing. Very nice.

'That wasn't so hard was it?' I said to Kirit, encouragingly.

'It sometimes happens.' He said, looking down, and then up into my eyes. Such pretty mid-brown eyes with a lighter greenish ring around the pupils, and jet black centres.

'With the other boys too, surely, sometimes? No one is perfect.'

'I'm not very good at it. They made fun of me. It happens with them too.'

'Well just ignore them! You just have to do it properly Kirit. There's no other way. I'm going to have to check you every time until……until you're reliable. Or I'll put you in a disposable and you won't like that under your shorts. Everyone will see and know that you can't keep yourself clean.'

I'm sure it's an attention seeking ploy on Kirit's part, but I hope I've convinced him with that threat of putting him in a nappy. I mean, how many boys would want their bottoms inspected each and every day? Good question. A perfectly clean pair of pants at the end of the day should be a matter of pride.

Back in Cube 6, the last one in the row, he did ask me, so I did look again. Lying on his back, he contrived a simple position to allow me to inspect a second time, to make sure. A first for me, similar I imagine to changing a baby's nappy, with the slight difference in terms of the age of the subject. He 'opened up' for me, something I had definitely not asked him to do, and certainly something I would not have dreamed of doing. I have never seen that part before, not like that. I didn't know whether to be shocked or interested. I just looked and drew a deep breath.

'That looks fine now Kirit. Just relax please.' I said quietly. The tunic had risen halfway up his body leaving the most delicious lightly tanned tummy to admire, and the other things below. You wouldn't call it an erection. No, not at all. Just a slight lengthening from a sleepy and skinny inch and a half, or thereabouts.

'If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were showing me your body Kirit. Deliberately.'

He didn't say anything, but there's a faint smile there now.

'Do you mind it?'

'Of course I don't mind it. It's a very nice body.'

'Even that bit?'

'Yes, even that bit. There's not one bit of you that I don't like Kirit. Truly. By the way, Raphael said I need to record your height. It hasn't been done for a while. Some other questions too. If I'm going to know you properly there are a few things I need to ask you. Would you mind my asking?'

He shakes his head. Raf gave me the list of standard questions all the boys will answer.

'What questions? Did it look sore?' He says, readjusting his position.

'No it didn't, but I'm not used to looking. Does it feel sore?'

'No.'

'Has it ever felt uncomfortable? Painful? At any time in the past? That you can remember?'

He nodded.

'When was that? A long time ago, before you came here?'

He nods his head again.

'Can you talk about that?'

'You mean may I ; do you?'

'Very amusing. Seriously, you might answer my question? Just for me?'

He nods again.

'When was that? At your last school?'

'Umm.'

'Just before you left that school?'

'Umm.'

'So, what made you sore?'

He turns his head away sharply. Ah, there's something going on here. Something he's not keen to tell me. I can't pursue this. Not now.

He looks back at me. I think he's about to change his mind.

'Will I get into trouble?'

'If you tell me? No. I shan't tell anyone. But I think you should tell me. I have secrets too. Things I can't talk about, or would rather not talk about. I should be at my school right now but I left. I did something a bit silly. That's why I'm not there now. Things happen to us sometimes. Things we regret later but can't undo, but we have to recover from those things, and that's exactly why we need to talk to someone about anything things that have happened to us. Or things we have done we wished we hadn't. Is that you Kirit?'

Silence. And then he looks so directly at me with his brown eyes, his face freckled so delicately, so hardly there at all. Summer sun has brought those out. He reaches for my hand and finds it, and brings it to face, holding it hard against the warm flesh of his cheek. Both his hands now. He'll tell me when he's ready.

Eight thirty that night.

I watched the boys finish their evening playing table tennis. I had a couple games with them which they enjoyed as much as I did. These boys are fun and I'm very happy to be here. But I have a clear priority now. He's been sitting it out on the bench along the wall, watching the games go on. The other boys have largely ignored him. I've kept my eye on him, just observing his behaviour. I've watched how he watches the others, where his eyes go. What he looks at. The ping pong balls go on the floor constantly. The boys bend to pick them up. He looks. I look too and see yet another neat bottom on view. Kirit looks at faces, and then downwards to legs. He's looking . The little white ball lands near him. The boy approaches to pick it up. He turns as the boy bends down. He's looking again. He looks at me, sees me looking at him, and looks away quickly. He knows what I know. The bell goes and the bats are placed noisily on the table and the boys know it's time to go up to undress, wash under their arms, do teeth, and have a final pee or whatever. Then it's into their respective Cubes to settle down with their book, perhaps quiet conversation with their CP, or just nothing. Then their lights go out. What the boys do then can vary, depending on relationships prevailing, or just personal habits, or things done purely for pleasure and the release of a little sexual tension. Raphael can listen to any sound coming from our Cubes, including the one I share with Kirit. I will not know whether he's listening to me, or us, or not. Anyway it doesn't matter. Not really. He says he won't, but I can't tell if he is or not. There will be no secrets between me and him.

Kirit has now told me why he left his last school. I think, in the end, he wanted to tell someone, and I was well placed to hear his story. He wouldn't want me to tell you everything, not all the details, and there's no need for that. I feel for him so badly.

'It was not your fault. Do you understand me Kirit? It was not!'

'It was……all my fault. I know it was. Why did I go in then? If I hadn't have gone in, it would all be different now.'

'No it wasn't your fault. You cannot be blamed. Sometimes people are victims of an injustice, even a mild one like I was. You, especially so. You were very young.'

He's curled up like a ball, the poor boy, his back to me as I kneel over his bed. It's already nine. He should be asleep by now. I stroke his bare shoulder. Then finally he turns over to face me, his cheeks tear stained.'

'Can I…….may I have a cuddle please?'

I smiled at him.

'When did you last have a cuddle?'

'You know when.'

'Ah, then. Yes, of course you can. Do you want me to come in with you now?'

'Umm. Now please.'

He's wonderfully warm and firm to my touch. There's no sleeping tunic between us, just our bodies close. It's difficult not to touch, our hands held under our chins.'

'May I have arms round?'

'Yes, but that means I will touch you.'

'I want to feel you. May I?'

How sweet, the remembered and adjusted language. I laughed. He gave me daggers for that.

There are hands on my face now, probing, mine behind and under his shoulders, and then the free one lower down his back. He feels so firm against me. This is how I imagined how it would be with Simon, my nemesis. Just one month ago, back in the darkened dormitory. The boy asleep. My beautiful boy whom I love. They laughed at me; sang a song about me, betrayed me with a lie, or half a lie, and then I was gone. Now that was my fault.

'You could have said no Kirit? You wouldn't have done what you did. That's all you had to do, just say 'no' to him. You should have told him.'

'I saw him in the shower. He smiled and so I went in with him. He was washing himself. He put soap all over me. He was my friend.'

'I know he was sweetheart.'

'So I went to see him. Where he slept. That night.'

'I know darling.'

'I didn't not like it. What happened. He took me down to the gymn changing rooms.'

His hands against the tiled wall, warm water cascading down, his legs put wide apart by a foot. And then the other foot moved the other leg. Then the invasion into such a place, and the instant question; why is he doing that? Why does he want to do that? Why does he go on doing that? On and on he goes. He keeps doing it, on and on. Neither boy could keep quiet.

He was on his nightly round, checking everywhere. Everything had gone too far. Way too far.

The boy murmurs something, but it doesn't stop. It goes on, the boy's face hard against the white tiles. And then it's over. Quite suddenly. It's all over my lovely, just like it was for me, soon after my rejection that fateful night.

And then the voice behind them. There's no door to hide what's going on in there. The boy hears the voice again. He turns his head in panic. He can't stop. He's gone too far now. The man looks down and sees the boy for what he was, for what he is now, and what he's doing. What he's doing with Kirit. What's being done to him.

'What on earth is going on here?' The man demands, loudly.

'Come out of there now! Oh Christ man! Get dressed and wait outside my study! Now. You. Go to your dorm this minute. Do you hear me young man? I'll deal with you later. Filthy creature. How dare you try that on. Filthy little boy that you are. Get out of there and up to your bed this minute before…….!'

Filthy little boy. That's what he called him. A filthy little boy , and it stuck. That nasty unkind label is stuck to the boy's forehead for all to see, wherever he goes, and as far as he is concerned, it's there forever. He is truly a filthy little boy of no use to anyone, least of all to himself. Did he ask for it? Probably, the little boy slut. No such filth will remain in this school! Not for another day, or an hour, or even a minute preferably. Get rid of the creature. They never liked him.

Well, probably not those exact words, but we will never know what they were, but the result's the same. Kirit, on the verge of brokenness. Down but not quite out.

A personal disaster mixed up with puberty. A recipe for disaster wouldn't you say?

Kirit has moved. He wants to lay his head in my lap. I let him as I stroke his sweet head, my fingers moving through his almost chestnut hair. How warm he feels. He can get one hand under his head now, palm downwards in my lap, directly under his head. Did he mean to do this? Kirit! No!

Fingers move and I feel I'm enclosed by a tight cup that is Kirit's hand.

'I can feel you.' Kirit goes on, holding onto me.

I can't say anything. And I'm not going to move……..anything, but after my shocked silence, I can speak now……..

'Can you tell me what it was, that really hurt you?'

'It wasn't that . What he was doing. I think it was to start with, but it wouldn't……..you know, work? He rubbed himself against me, there. He was kissing me. he said he loved me.'

'How long did this take Kirit?'

'About ten minutes. Maybe a bit more. Then I felt it, just before Mr Sheldon came in.'

'Felt what?' I asked, as if I didn't know.

'I knew what it was. I could feel it on my tummy and then go downwards. Right down. It tickled. He kept kissing me. Everywhere. His mouth was wet.'

'What was it? What you felt?'

'I've seen it before, at home. When we played together.'

'But it wasn't from you?'

'No. I couldn't.'

'Now?'

'I'm not sure. Maybe. But I can't here. Not since then.'

'Never?'

'No. Sometimes I try but a voice in my head shouts at me, so I stop trying. Sometimes there's stuff on the sheet.'

'What does it look like?'

'I don't know. Sometimes on the sheet. I think I must be asleep when it does it. It's always too late to stop it. I don't know why I'm doing it. It's not fair. Everything I try to do goes wrong. Nothing goes wrong for Peter and Felix.'

'You must not give up Kirit.'

'I'm scared to try now. I can hear other boys doing it. I know what they're doing but I can't. It won't work. I don't like it. It's not fair, and I'm scared it will be in my pants and they'll see. I can't help it. Nothing's fair here.'

So there you have it, more or less in his words, remembered by me. But what to do about it? Any suggestions? I think I'm still just about the novice that he is. After school, and a rush up to the dorm with a friend. Then the examination of what we had done. My friend once brought a magnifying glass to one of our sessions to see if he could see any actual live sperm swimming around but alas, nothing could be seen in either his or mine. Things were going well for me until they went wrong for me. I need to talk to Raf about all this tomorrow.

The hand that was under his head kept moving, gripping nervously as Kirit told his story. He knew what he had in his sweet hand. I wasn't going to stop him. It was the gripping that got to me; the fingers closing around me, almost painfully hard, fingers enclosing me and unable to escape.

He lay beside me, in my arms, my hands around his head, his arms floppy and inert and tired. No more gripping, just soft hands in mine.

I eventually got Kirit to sleep, extracted myself from his arms, and got into my own bed for a serious think. Had I gone too far? Or not far enough? Raf will know. If he doesn't know, I want him to. I'm going to find him.

'So, how did it go with young Kirit last night Mike?'

'Did you listen in?'

'Certainly not! Would I?'

'I don't know. I think I would have done.'

'Well I wouldn't. It's your private thing. Anyway, what happened?'

'I think he feels unloved, and do you know what? I do too. It's probably mostly down to that boarding school syndrome thing that your friend Joy talked about. Apart from his general upset, he is actually dissociated from his true feelings, like he's had them beaten out of him by life. I don't think he's far from a recovery. He likes this place but he's not been able, at least not yet, to get a successful social handle on it. He needs loving, something he's not had for a long time, but I think he's ready for it. There are also some practical problems he's experiencing. He's now pubescent and his testes are close to producing the goods.'

'That's interesting, but what brings you to that conclusion Mike?'

'He leaving small stains on the bedsheets and he's getting almost constant sticky secretions during the day into his knickers. It's true, he showed me. He's filling up all the time and it's got nowhere to go. So it seeps out. He says he's getting a lot of awkward involuntary erections too, where people can see him. I don't think it will be long before he has a wet dream Raf, and that'll finish him off nicely. The anal cleansing thing too. He hasn't quite got that either. He needs monitoring. He has to show me every night.'

'And what about you? Are you ready for……..?'

'I want someone to love Raf. Ok cliché time but it's overdue for me. By the way I've stopped rubbing myself now. I'm not absolutely sure why I have. It's weird. Another one in danger of wetting his bed.'

'Kirit is your job now Mike. Oddly enough, I have never enjoyed the prospect of sticking a finger up a small boy's bottom.'

'I never have, any more than I've had any sex with a boy; apart from the normal mutual playing around thing in the early years at school.'

'But you enjoyed that?'

'I certainly did. Then there was Simon. That was different. I thought I loved him and in my naivete, I thought he would love me back. That didn't quite work out as we know.'

'And here you are. Well, I've given you Kirit. A boy on plate for you. I agree, he needs love too. I've noticed the chemistry Mike, you and him. You're still a boy yourself don't forget.'

'Is that some sort of excuse for me then? A green light to go and abuse a boy?'

'No not at all. But if you behave decently towards him, you could be of great benefit to him. I don't like that word, abuse. It has nasty connotations. Think of it that way. Do you find him attractive?'

'Yes, in a word.'

'He's still rather immature, developmentally speaking?'

'Yes, but I don't think that has much to do with it Raf. He told me that he's had sexual encounters before. At home, probably with older children and not just other boys his age. There were two boys living with him, plus two guardians who were not his natural parents. The boys were called Balak and Baylam, and roughly his age. There's an older girl too. Eastern Europeans by the sound of it. Ukrainian possibly. He hasn't gone into any details as yet but he will, in time.'

Do you suppose he's a Swallow?'

'Probably.'

'Well, most of them are at adept at that skill these days Mike. Have you seen any evidence of a phone?'

'No, not yet, but I think he has one somewhere. I think he's possibly secreted it in his muck box, along with a few pairs of pants he wanted to hide, for obvious reasons. There's a genuine fear there Raf, which has to be sorted, soon I'm sure.'

'I wondering why he has this thing about keeping his bottom clean. Perhaps he doesn't like anything touching him in that area for a reason Mike. Even his own hand? Your job again Mike. Your chance to shine.'

'Pity Peter isn't available, or Felix. Either of those two could coax him out of this strife he's in. He's also become acutely aware of his libido but has no idea how to express himself sexually in this environment, especially as he's no one to interact with. It's a kind of vicious circle. One thing prevents the other thing.'

'What about both Peter and Felix? A sort of threesome?'

'There's nowhere which accommodates three boys. Otherwise that might work for him.'

'Let me think about that one Mike. In the mean time you ought to educate the boy a little. He's not masturbating you say?'

'No. I must have caught abstention from him Raf! I think he's tried but to use his words, it won't work. Things go nicely and then something inexorably gets in the way close to the end. He gets a hard-on easily enough but his brain keeps blocking any possibly attractive scenario. There's a general block in his head at the moment, like a blocked sink. It needs unblocking to let a rush of water out.'

'Or in his case?'

'Yes, probably a flood in a perfect world.'

'Wankers block. I've heard of that although I have never suffered from that particular syndrome. From what you say Mike, your experience is limited, but you can explain the basics to him. So you've never been fellated?'

'No! I wish I had been, and the reverse. I imagined it with Simon, bless him, the little bastard.'

'So you never had the pleasure of a smooth little cocklet slip between your lips? That's a shame. Or had yours gently brought to fruition by another?'

'As I said Raf, no I haven't. Nor have it had one of those morsels in any other part of my body, more's the pity.'

'A bit too late for a morsel now I think. You might have to make do with a proper one. You really ought to experience that Mike. You can get that here if you want it. There are one or two willing Supervisors I'm sure. It can be arranged easily enough. But going back to Kirit, talk to him at Rest Time today. Use my bathroom to teach him the anal stuff if he still needs further guidance. He may not have completely got it the first time around.'

'It's not that Raf. He has a problem putting something, even if it's his own finger, in there.'

'A bad experience do you suppose?'

'Perhaps, in the past, yes, that's a possibility.'

'Oh dear. Then find out if that's the problem. Whatever it is, or is not, you had better have a good look at him back there. Have a gentle root around for anything that doesn't feel right. Notice what goes on at the front end too. See if he likes it. If he does, and he's had similar experiences before back there, he will become seriously aroused. His mind and body will remember past pleasurable events, if that's what they were and not abusive ones, and think it's being treated to the same entertainment. And get hold of his phone if he has one. He certainly did not hand one in. That might hold the key to all this. There's a spare room next door you know? There's a super king-sized bed in there. Three boys might enjoy that!'

'You mean Felix, Peter and Kirit?'

'Indeed I do. Maybe. Just through that door over there.'

He showed me the room. Very nice and comfortably appointed, ideal for very private arrangements he might make, something I'd love to know about when I've been around for a while longer. Not yet.

So that's Raphael's view of things, but I'm not him. But I will start with a few basics with Kirit, now he's my pet subject. My pet? I had a marvellous English teacher who persisted in calling me his pet….'my pet' he would say to me. We all knew his loved boys but as far as I knew, he very wisely touched anyone, ever. I know all this stuff with Kirit might smack of grooming, but I'm just trying to help the boy through a tough patch. I'll be there ready for him in Cube 6 when he arrives for Rest Time.

It's now 1.45 pm, five minutes after his lunch session has ended. He's here. He looks mournful as usual. Time to be a cheerful Michael.

'Oh hi Kirit! How was your morning?'

He sits on the edge of the bed, his, and begins to take off his clothes. How beautiful he is. With everything folded beside him, he's just holding his underpants in his left hand. He looks at me with those deep brown eyes.

'What's the matter sweetheart?' I said, concerned about his expression. He hands me the small article of clothing.

'Oh. May I look?'

There's a slight stain at the front, and something at the back too. Damn. Two things to sort out. The boy stands in front of me, close, in the space between the two beds. At least he's enough confidence in me now to do that. I'm sure it will be fine to touch him, but I'll obviously check first.

'Right. I think your testes are now quite active Kirit.'

'What does that mean?'

'Testes are these things Kirit. It means they have begun to produce sperm, which is mixed in with other fluids that make up stuff called semen. You've learned about this in Science haven't you?'

'Yes.'

'What's happening is that the part of your body which stores the semen until it's needed is getting full and trying to leave your body, and the easy way out is through your P. That's why you're getting this tingling because that's what happening. It's like an overflow system. I know you are having trouble rubbing up successfully, and that's something we can easily deal with. I have to ask you if your P is getting stiff for no reason during the day? In lessons perhaps?'

'Yes. Quite often. It just comes up. And in the pool.'

'In the pool? Is that because you see other boys in there; like you?'

'I don't know. When we play together. It can happen then.'

'Ok. Good. Are you playing with it during lessons?'

'Yes. I have to. It tingles. It makes me do it.'

Then he looks down and places his finger under his testes, raising them up which pushes his small uncircumcised penis back and up against the flesh of his abdomen.

'They have bumps in them. Like lumps. Something's wrong with me. Will you look please? It's frightening.'

What do I do now? Send him to our visiting doctor who will see him next week? No. This is something I can do for him.

I put the two testicles so they rested comfortably in a neat cup that are my fingers, and felt them thoroughly. Unlike the penis, they are quite large, and certainly a very normal volume. Larger probably. I felt around them, very gently. I felt all round them, turning each one this way and that so I could make sure there was nothing alarming. They are not just smooth egg shapes and they do have a very discernible bump where the large tube connects. The textured skin of the now tightening sac looked an even colour, darker as it is than the surrounding skin. To my basic knowledge, Kirit is perfect.'

'You're fine Kirit. I promise. There's nothing wrong with you.'

'What about my P? Will you look properly at it……..please?'

The 'please' was an afterthought, and emphasized. I get it.

'Are you sure you want me to? I will, if you're sure? And we can go on calling it your P shall we? From now on?'

'Ok, and I am sure.'

With both hands Kirit shows me his P which has grown slightly. There's a substantial skinny overhang which has retreated back, the penile head now just showing, but the crown not yet emerged.

The situation reminds me of Jack, my first play partner in my first year at school. I'm not sure how we got together but I think it was because we lived near each other and walked home together. I asked him in. We went up to play in my bedroom. I'm sure we both knew what we wanted from each other. I've always had a bit of a thing about underclothes. That might not surprise you. At the time mine were of the old-fashioned variety which I didn't like much. I happened to know from noticing him changing for PE that he wore the trendy slip style. I very bravely asked Jack what style he preferred.

'Do you want to see Mike?'

Standing in front of me, he undid the front of his short trousers and there he was, all neatly tucked into a pair of soft white knicker things. I was beyond excited.

'Do want to see it?' He asks quietly. I nodded, and out came his utterly delicious circumcised penis. It was asleep, but not for long. Matters progressed from that moment, always to happy conclusions. That's what boys do.

'Shall I pull the skin right back?' Kirit asks.

'Yes.'

The boy is uncircumcised and the shaft appears completely normal to me, what there is of it, and I've seen just a few of these.

Kirit's P is now fully erect, his handling of it, and the situation generally, has done the trick. It's a beauty, the head quite bulbous with a dominant coronal ridge, and utterly inviting, the foreskin completely retracted. He's considerably more fulsome than I expected from the diminutive fat little worm I've seen hitherto. Gosh, good boy!

I had a very good look as Kirit looks down waiting anxiously for the verdict. You might consider my next action unnecessary and rather gross. I put my nose to the thing. With the onset of puberty, my guess is he's not keeping the thing as clean as he should be, but I won't mention it. Not yet. Now he needs some reassurance.

'There's nothing at all wrong there I can absolutely assure you sweetheart. You are a normal little boy just like all the others. Ok? Remind me. How old are you?'

'I'm eleven and a half. Are you sure I'm normal? What about my P? Does it look right?'

'That too. It looks fine.'

'Look, when I do this.'

Very slowly, the boy begins to move the skin of his penis back and forth perhaps twenty times now, finally giving the whole thing a rather brutal squeezing.

'What's that stuff?'

Out comes one solitary and totally clear bead of what I can only assume is pre-ejaculatory fluid, which settles onto the boy's thumb.

'Have I got an infection?'

I need to explain.

'No you haven't. That's perfectly normal too.'

'Do you get that Mike?'

'Yes, sometimes, when I get excited about something.'

'What things?'

'Oh. When I think about interesting things for a while. Perhaps when I'm in bed, for example. Sometimes boys like to play with their penises while they think about girls, for example.'

'Just girls?'

'No, sometimes they might like to think about boys too.'

'Just one boy?'

'Yes, just one, if you want. There are no rules Kirit. You're free to think about anything you want to.'

'Am I? Anyone ?'

'Yes!'

'Even you?'

'Yes, if you want to. Have you thought about me?'

'Yes, last night, and this morning. Are you going to stay with me?'

'Yes, all the time I think you need me to. I'm not going to desert you darling. I'm going to stay with you all the time I think you need me. Do you understand that sweetheart?'

'Yes.'

'Thinking back, have you ever felt lonely?'

'Yes.'

'Can you talk about that?'

'I think my P wants to grow now.'

'Ok, that's fine. But don't touch it.'

'Can I lie down?'

'Yes of course. Would you like me go out now?'

'No. Can I think about you now?'

'Yes, if you want to.'

'Will you get undressed too?'

'Yes, if that helps you.'

'How long will you stay with me?'

'Can we wait and see?'

'Ok. Can I have your hand please.'

I took several deep breaths, and watched the boy lie down and begin to feel himself with his right hand, mine in his left. In the warm and rather humid atmosphere I notice tiny beads of perspiration appear on the boy's top lip and amongst the embryonic hair growing there. He has a pretty face, at least to me it is, just traces of high summer freckles, dark brown hair covering part of his ears, that falls naturally forward, with a hint of a natural parting towards the middle of his head. He's not a boy given to smiling much, but still wears his cares nicely, in a dignified way. Yes, despite his various worries, he remains a dignified being. I look at his legs, slim and lithe, the tummy depressed as it should be, lying down as he is now. The rib cage is visible as the heart beats its regular time. I squeeze his hand gently. Kirit takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly, so I know I've pleased him with my gesture. Good.

Watching him, I feel a deep desire to put my mouth on his. I'm getting wave after wave of the most profound feelings for Kirit. The idea of stopping him and bringing him to a finish myself has obviously occurred to me, and probably to him too. I could have left the room but I've chosen to stay with him. Why not. What he's doing is not my choice but his.

A little more fluid has appeared, gin clear and viscous. That's a good sign that ejaculation is on the way, at some point, something he claims he can't achieve. If that's true, that is indeed very frustrating for him. I squeeze his hand again and in recognition of my presence, his eyes open, just for a couple of seconds.

The boy's hand movements become irregular. I know what that might mean. Soon; perhaps? His eyes open again and he turns his head towards me. Open mouthed he speaks.

'I think it's coming.'

'Oh good boy.' I said, smiling encouragingly, giving his hand another squeeze. And then he stops, turns away from me, and exhales loudly. I keep his hand in mine until he pulls his away from me. Where does this leave us? I left the Cube to find Raphael.

It's not easiest thing describe in words, the experience of witnessing a boy's orgasm, the slow build-up, the last few moments, and then the cathartic event itself. But there was no breakthrough for young Kirit. Not this time, but I have huge sympathy for the boy.

'Oh that's a shame Mike. So near yet so far, but not to worry, he has plenty of time ahead of him here. I suspect he needed a bit more from you. Just holding the boy's hand obviously wasn't a sufficiently effective stimulus.'

'I can't do it for him can I?'

'Not if your moral code denies it, no you can't. Go back and have a lie down yourself and imagine what might have been.'

I went back to our Cube to find Kirit fast asleep on his right side, partially covered, but with his fulsome bare bottom visible, and his body in the foetal position, I'm getting a very informative and very inspiring perspective. In my fertile imagination I'm going to attempt to change the events of the recent past to something else. Simon had come to mind. He had welcomed my nocturnal advances to my utter delight. Rolling obediently onto his back h e guided my invading hand to his sleepy penis, which immediately responded to my gentle fondling, and stiffened. As I had long suspected, he's unusually small for a fifteen-year-old boy, and he's circumcised. Once I cracked on with him in earnest, I knew he was wanting it badly. With two fingers and my thumb I got him there very quickly.

He looks down at his gorgeous tummy, both hands either side of it. So I show him what he's produced for us. He looks sideways at my open palm and then at me.

'Well done little man. You're a very clever boy, you really are.' I say, smiling. He takes the hand, holding it in both of his about an inch from his nose. Then he brings it even closer to his face. Surely not?

He wants to watch me now and it isn't going to take long, the way I'm feeling at this moment.

It didn't. Simon wanted to see the back of my hand. Between my fingers. I'd come, unprepared. This was something I had no right to expect.

I thought back to those early years of our boyish playfulness. Alright, we were all curious about the properties of our own semen. Exactly what the other boy's produce looked like, how thick, how milky, how sticky, and so on. I had around six MM partners over the years, but some wouldn't countenance of tasting the stuff, not at any price. I did mine, and a couple of other boys who offered me the chance to know something extraordinarily intimate about them.

I thought Kirit was asleep but he wasn't, not at any time during the last twenty minutes. It hadn't taken me long to do what I desperately needed to do. Less than two minutes. I'm left-handed, usually, but occasionally I've used my right and less skilled hand in order to delay my climax. That can work nicely. It's rather like having someone else do it for you. I was out of it for those two minutes not realising that Kirit was awake still, had turned over and had watched me fulfil a short but vivid fantasy over Simon, interwoven with glances at the rear view of Kirit's lower half, those firm globes and the deep shadow of what lay between them, awaiting at some point soon my investigation.

I had made Simon come, silently so as not to disturb others around us. Perfect.

In reality and unprepared, I had managed to contain matters, more or less. It's not something one can hide easily. Kirit could see everything as it happened. He just looks, his expression unchanged, unblinking. I would never want in a thousand years for him to see what he's just seen. But is it the first time, for him? Then an arm is outstretched towards me and suddenly there is his hand on mine.

I wanted to ask Kirit certain questions, but I desisted. It was a very odd thing to do. What if he has, and who with, if anyone? He took my hand, leaned over to close the gap between us and began. To have the back of one's hand licked by a boy's tongue, like my old labrador would greedily lick my palm thinking there were some remains of a chocolate biscuit still there. It's a lovely sensation. And then my palm. A boy like Kirit licking the palm of one's hand, I found supremely erotic, but then there are a lot of things about Kirit I find supremely erotic.

Watching me, he'd been playing. I watch him now as he seeks his own well-deserved fulfilment The watery seed emerges, this time a tiny dribble rather than the mini flood I produced just a couple of minutes ago. Oh, well done Kirit! A lovely performance indeed but there's now a big question I'd like an answer to. Some history. Time to check in with Raf again.

'That sounds like progress Mike. When is the great inspection due?'

'This afternoon at Rest Time. I asked Kirit is he was apprehensive about it. He said he wasn't. Not at all.'

'Good. He trusts and likes you so he has no reason to fear you having a look. It should all feel smooth and clean all the way up. You know what the prostate feels like don't you?'

'Yes.'

'Good. Give that a nice tickle for him. That might well tell you if he's experienced it before. I wouldn't be surprised if he had. Let me know about that. Would you mind if I had a listen in? You'll need some of this.' He says, reaching for the plastic container, the better brand with the snap-on lid. I took it. It felt about half full.

'See how he reacts Mike. If it's positive, and I suspect it will be, you might try something else.'

'How will I know?'

'Oh you'll know alright! Just look what happening at the front. That'll tell you. How far did you get with yourself?'

'It began to feel rather nice. I was a bit worried about how it felt. You know, was I doing any damage.'

'You weren't Mike. Why don't you try one of these. You might like the result but it takes a while. And if Kirit responds as I think he might, you could pass it on to him. Start with something boy sized.'

'What Raf?'

He leans over to the bedside cupboard and finds the object in question. A penis shaped object in perfect detail that you might see on a twelve-year-old, and at a guess, around four inches long.

'Oh wow. What does it do?'

'That's for me to know and you to find out Mike! I suggest you give it a try. It works nicely, but you need to insert all the way. If you like it I have others for the very discerning client.'

We laughed. I took said object and got it going. It made a rather obvious buzzing noise. Goodness, this could be fun.

'Do you want to try it now?' Raf asks.

'I'm not sure this is the best moment Raf. May I delay until later?'

'Of course. Your choice. Anyway Kirit will be expecting you in an hour. Although I would say that to prevent you from getting a bit carried away, it would be a way of dampening down your libido. Having your own a short time before severe temptation arises might be a good idea?'

'You have a point there Raf. How long does it take?'

'How long is a piece of string? Any time up to twenty minutes. If it doesn't work by then it probably isn't your thing.'

'Ok then. You'll have to guide me through it.'

'Fine. Pants down then so the dog can see the rabbit.'

Obedient me.

'They're nice Mike. They suit you perfectly.'

'Kirit's choice.'

'Oh. So he's seen you?'

'In the pool that first day. He saw me.'

'And you noticed him?'

'Umm. He was rather noticeable.'

'Quite. Now off with the rest of your kit please.'

Obedient me, again.

'Knees up and as wide apart as you can. Perfect. Are you ready? Now I'm going to apply the gel and to this lovely little dicky. Imagine it's……….whoever you might want to have in mind.'

A sudden cool feeling. I have a man's finger inside me, and then outside me, and then inside me again, repeatedly. I like it. Oh goodness, I do like it! And then he goes in deeper, and deeper. I like this even better. I appear to be receiving an internal massage.

'Shall I go on?'

'Umm. That feels pretty good.'

'Excellent. Glad you like it. You've responded very well. I like that too. Do you want to try the dicky now? You're looking very ready now.'

'No not yet. Do you mind going on like you are?'

'Not at all. The pleasure is not just yours dear boy. I shall continue until you tell me to stop.'

Five minutes in, I have developed the mother and father of a hard-on, twitching away. This internal massage business Raf is giving me is doing some kind of trick as he continues to gently rub me inside, and what feels like a couple of inches up. And then he asks the question; one I've been waiting for.

'May I kiss you; but not on your mouth my nicely responsive boy?'

I had a very good idea what that meant. With my eyes firmly shut, I nod my head. But before he goes for it, I know I have just consented to homosexual sex. I don't know whether to be shocked or just plain thrilled!

It's an extraordinary feeling, having lips around the tip of one's P. It felt like wet lips and it was wet lips. Lots of Raf's saliva. And now he goes deeper with what now are two fingers, not just one; and then deeper still. But where will this all end? In the meantime he's still massaging me inside. I couldn't have imagined this happening to me a month ago. He told me to think about Simon.

'Simon wants you to do what I'm doing for you Michael. Just lie back and think about him. He wants you Michael. Just do what he wants. It will help.'

I took his advice, and it did help. Oh yes, it helped a lot.

I quickly organized my fantasy.

It was about nine thirty that night. I'm going to do it tonight; try my luck with the boy. He's asleep now so here we go. The bedclothes are loose my side and not tucked in so it's easy to get my hand in there. Oh good. The little sod has undone his pyjama bottoms. Maybe he was fiddling earlier? But he still has his pants on. Why? Damn. Oh bugger, I think I've already disturbed him. He's turned onto his back now and my hand touched his. What's going to happen now? I'll just wait and see. My hand is against his thigh just inches away from what I suspect is a weeny cocklet. His hand moves and he's put his on mine. He's definitely awake. My heart's beating so fast. I think he wants me, in fact I'm bloody sure he does. He's telling me to go ahead. A green light. Oh bloody hell. What shall I do next? I don't have to do anything. He's moving my hand where he wants it. This is going to be so good. At last! He's pulling my arm. I need to get out of bed and get much closer. I'm kneeling by him in the narrow space between his and my bed. With the bedclothes pulled across I can see him clearly now, despite the semi-darkness. He's hard and waiting. He's got my hair, pulling me over him. I know exactly what he wants and he's going to get it. Now he can touch me. This is all so perfect! Oh, the feel of him between my lips! It's just a matter of time. Just a matter of time.

I'm distracted from my nice little fantasy by what is going on within my own body. It's just a mild pleasure but definitely different from anything else I have felt going on down there. Yes, it is different. Quite different. I have the feeling that if Raf goes on something might happen.

He's stopped working me over with his mouth, lips and tongue, especially his tongue, and is concentrating on the other thing. I was close to orgasm. So why has he stopped?

It took another five minutes before I flooded my tummy, or thought I had, but when I felt my skin there was nothing there.

'How was that for you Michael?' He quietly asks, stroking me gently, oh so gently with his fingertips, all along my inner thighs up to my hard little boy orbs. I'm still wet from him. It's him on me and me in him. He's had everything from me and it's going to take me a few minutes to recover from this event, not just the physical effects, but the idea of what has just happened to me, or rather for me.

'Don't worry. I'm not expecting anything reciprocal. That was just for you. Think about it as a welcome to Frendon present, me to you, and a little something for me too, at the end. Did you enjoy? I would love to know? I certainly did.'

Still speechless, I nodded my approval.