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Outed and Anew

by Reisce


The rain hadn't stopped for three days, but I've been out on my own for seven. The clouds were so dark but I was still able to tell when the sun actually had gone down. I had wished I grabbed my watch before I left, but at the time it was the last thing I thought about. I didn't mind walking but at times like this I atleast wish I had a car, so I'd be out of the rain. The city was fairly busy. Even in lousy weather people managed to get out still. Cars, buses, trucks and motorcycles went by in the streets as pedestrians went by on the sidewalk, each one probably going off to a happy home and loving family. Who needs family anyway. I thought as I felt tears starting to form in the corner of my eyes. I would always get like that, but as usual the tears would never fall. Would've been a great night for it, with the rain to disguise it and all.

I stopped after a few blocks and actually took in my surroundings. My stomach let out a low grumble when I took notice of the smell, of food, as it hit my nose. Looking around I saw I had passed a diner a block back. My clothes were pretty soaked through so I didn't bother rushing to get there. It was a major relief when I entered. To a dry person it may have been a bit chilly but I was wet and freezing my ass off. I took a corner booth right up against the windows so I was sitting parallel with the street and could see anyone who went by. Before I sat down I did take off my jacket, flipped it inside out and spread it across the seat before I sat down. If anything would need to be cleaned up it would probably be the puddle of water on the floor after I left. I wanted to leave as little damage as possible.

"How are you today, sir? What can I get you to drink?" I turned and was greeted by a pair of hazel eyes. The owner of those eyes was a girl probably in her late twenties with brown hair pulled into a tight bun. Didn't have much make-up on but it wasn't like she needed it. She was one of those 'natural beauties'. She definitely took care of herself, even though she wore pants her uniform was still a bit tight and displayed all her assets.

"Fine and hot chocolate."

"O.K. and here is your menu." she said sliding it in front of me. She gave me the once over, looking at me funny, then walked away. My eyes went from her to other faces inside. Wasn't busy but there were a few people there. I noticed a couple in the center and a father with is two daughters at another booth. I figured there was a group of teenagers because I could her quite a bit of laughing and joking somewhere in the back. I liked that, was never into overcrowded places. It was setup like your typical 1950s diner but the interior color was an aqua-green and reminded me of a bathroom somewhat. It sat on the corner of an intersection so it wasn't a small place and seemed longer down one side than the rest of the building.

She had finally come back and set my drink in front of me, steam steadily rising off the top. It was in a mug with the diner logo on it and set on a matching saucer.

"Are you ready to order sir?" she asked slowly as she looked me up and down again. I knew that look and had become familiar with it a few times in my life. I know I looked like shit but I'll be damned if I'm gonna be treated that way. I pulled out my wallet and set it on the table and watched her face as one of her eyebrows went up in curiosity.

"Yes I'd like the steak and eggs, with toast and a side of bacon," I picked up my wallet and pulled out one of the few hundreds I had left, " and I'd also like to pay for it now." I gave her the same appraisal she gave me and held the money out to her. She hesitated at first then took it, trying to hide the irritated look on her face. I smiled a little as I shook my head. I looked up and was able to see my reflection in a mirror several booths down. At one point I shaved my head and decided to let it just grow out. Now it was in layers from the bottom of my ears to two inches past my collarbone . Even wet my hair was pretty blonde, which was one of the few features I actually got from my grandfather, luckily those looks skipped my father. I don't know how I could've handled looking in the mirror if all I would've seen was him. My hair style was always to comb it back with a part on one side. Since I didn't have a comb I just raked it back with my fingers. If I was wearing a button down shirt instead of an orange short sleeve shirt I would look quite presentable. As far as my other facial features I must say I was more than happy when I noticed what I got from my mom. From her I inherited intense green eyes that looked like they could be flecked with diamonds and soft pink lips that were perfectly full.. I have strong masculine features yet I look soft at the same time. I have a perfectly symmetrical face and was told more than a dozen times it looked like I was carved from a stone. A frown ghosted my features as I once again realized how one thing can warp your reality and show you another side of your parents.

In case some of you haven't figured it out I'm talking about being gay. I didn't plan on saying anything but my stupid father just can't help going into things he shouldn't. I had never been so embarrassed and scared in my life. I know my best....ex-best friend, Paul, cut me off from that position once it was out in the open. I'd known him since we were both eleven. My parents were one thing but the look on his face felt like he could rip out my heart by will if he wanted, so much for 'real' friends.

* * *

We had been out at the arcade and were just getting to my house. I was pretty excited because my birthday coming up soon. We went in ready to eat dinner and before the door was even closed I could hear my dad calling us into the living room. I could tell by his tone he wasn't happy and figured it was school related, but we were really surprised when we found him sitting with my mom and Pauls parents. I could feel the anger coming from him. He directed my attention to a blue pamphlet, I instantly recognized, on the dining room table. I picked it up at the gay teen center when I wanted to meet other teenagers like me.He explained how he was snooping in my room and came across it, under my mattress. I began shaking, which could be seen clear as day, and didn't move a step. Paul kept looking back and forth trying to figure out what was going on. My dad started yelling talking about how he corrupted me and got into a yelling match with his father. Both saying it was the other kids fault. His mother started crying while mine tried to break it up. Since no one would answer his question Paul walked past me and over to the table. I tried to intercept him but he already had it in hand and was reading the cover. My mom had finally gotten both fathers quiet.

"You're a fag?" Paul said sounding dazed and confused. Even though his voice was low it was so quiet it seemed like a shout in a canyon. I already felt like I was naked and on display, his words just felt like a punch to the chest.

"I warned you about letting his hair grow out!" my father yelled, ignoring Pauls' comment. "I should've sent your sorry ass to boot camp." His attention focused back on me." They would've whipped you into a real man!"

"Honey please, calm down."

A world war could be happening outside our front door and my attention would still remain where it is now, on Paul. I still hadn't answered and quickly looked to the other four occupants in the room. He asked the question again and after a minute of deafening silence I managed a nearly inaudible 'yes'. He turned to me and gave me a look, that in an instant, broke my heart and burned my insides. It was a look of pure disgust. Tears had started running down my face before I even heard the next statement.

"Faggots, deserve to die, and I refuse to be friends with one."

I looked at him and couldn't believe he was the same friend I'd known for the past four years. We were like brothers, I just couldn't believe those words came from his mouth. I took a step torwards him and he took a step back. That's when it happened. My dad started yelling about how he didn't want a fucking sissy as his son. He started taking off his belt but I ran for the stairs and made it into my room, locking the door. I panicked and nearly became hysterical, but as the pounding and yelling subsided I collected my thoughts and calmed down as much as I could. I knew I couldn't stay any longer and things wouldn't ever be the same. This was no longer my home and those people were no longer familiar to me. With the only option in front of me I went over and took my shoebox from under my bed. From inside I took out the five-hundred dollars I had saved up.

I had a job assisting in construction which paid well, kept me pretty lean and gave me a few defining muscles in my arms, chest and legs.

As I shoved the money into my pocket I could hear yelling and screaming coming closer and closer to the door.

"You can't! You can't! We'll just send him away!"

"No! He is an abomination and must die!"

It took only a second to register what he said and I stood paralyzed for nearly five more. I couldn't believe he was able to say I had to die, and mean it. I knew how he felt about homosexuality and I heard about how he harassed them when he was younger. He nearly got sent to prison for murder but there wasn't enough evidence to prove he was involved with it. My mom told me about it and since then his words and animosity just convinced me more and more that he was guilty. How could you want to kill your own child though?!

I ran over to the window, climbed on the sill and jumped down to the roof of the storage unit. That's when I heard it, a loud bang that nearly made my heart stop, a gunshot. He must've been pointing downwards and standing away from the door because it sounded like it went into the floor. I nearly pissed in my pants and started shaking. I could hear my mom screaming and I could hear Pauls' father coming up the stairs trying to calm my dad down. They must've been struggling because I heard glass breaking and the grunts from a struggle. I scrambled across the roof of the shed and jumped down onto the ground. Looking back up I heard the door break open and started running across the yard. There was another shot that landed a foot from my left leg causing me to jump and yell. I had never been so happy and grateful in my life, that he'd never taken up target practice. I swung right and had just made it into some bushes along the street when the third shot rang out. I heard wood splinter and break and knew the bullet went into the next yard. By now dogs were barking and a few of the neighbors lights came on but the only thing that came through my mind loud and clear was my mother screaming and crying.

At first I didn't know how long I had been running but when I stopped I realized I was on one of the roads heading for the city. Recognizing my surroundings I knew I had to have been running for an hour at the very least. There was a park up ahead and I stopped to rest. I sat on one of the benches catching my breath as the last of the adrenaline rush wore off. Tears streamed down my face as what happened tonight replayed itself in my head. I couldn't believe it. I knew coming out wasn't going to be easy but I didn't want it to happen this way. Certainly didn't think they would react to me the way they did. I hurt so bad inside and all over that I didn't even notice the pain in my legs. I had just lost everything I had ever known. The trash can was right next to the bench so vomiting was a easy enough. I was actually hated and rejected by my family and my so called best friend. I wasn't in love with Paul or anything, but I was shocked just the same. He never said anything negative about homosexuality, atleast not in front of me. I knew my mom wouldn't be for it but thinking about it now I could've coped with 'being sent away'. It was a much better idea than shooting at me, trying to get rid of the problem. I threw up once again as I remembered the look that was on my fathers' face, especially Pauls'. I was truly on my own. I kept telling myself my mom would talk to him and calm him down. If that was the case why was I so far from home?! I didn't want to think about it because the streets was going to be the last place I broke down.

* * *

After a few hours, of sleep, I continued on my way and stayed in the city for three days. The first two days I was at a motel, but after that I wised up and realized I didn't know how long I would be out here and I needed to conserve my money. Since the night I left I hadn't cried. I just kept steeling myself from my emotions and memories, they would have to continue to wait. I know I cried that night but that wasn't the 'pent up emotional-breakdown' crying after something traumatic. When it comes it's gonna hit me hard, it always does. I know I've been putting on a brave face and probably look like I'm use to this kind of life but I knew if I showed any weakness I'd get taken advantage of.

On the fourth day I got on a bus and headed south. I couldn't spend that much but I did make it to Baltimore. It was pretty amazing down by the harbor and I was able to try some good food without spending too much. I actually went down to Baltimore Street that night, I had heard about all the sex clubs and porn shops. I guess I wanted to see what 'elements' I'd run into if the time would come when I would be one of those boys. I actually got quite a few offers but turned them down. One was persistent until a police cruiser went by and shined its search light on him. Luckily there wasn't much light on me so they couldn't see my face or see I was underage.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when the waitress placed my order down in front of me and dropped the utensils, loudly, on the table instead of placing them next to my plate.

"SARAH?" we both turned to a heavy set woman, probably from the Mediterranean, behind the register looking like she was going to beat my waitress to a pulp. She was short and had long wavy black hair down her back. I could tell she was older and her grey streaks only confirmed what I thought. 'Sarah' wasn't exactly a great waitress so I wasn't surprised she was getting yelled at, besides something about the counter woman told me she was really a nice person. Then again I thought I knew my family and best friend. The waitress huffed then walked over to the counter and began arguing with the woman in a foreign language. I ignored them and dug into my meal, thankful to have something in my stomach. Not that I'm trying to starve myself or anything, I'm just trying to make what I have left stretch for as long as I can.

I must've really been focused on my food because I didn't even see the guys come in and sit at the booth next to me. There were three of them. I figured they were a little older and had to be in college. Two sat with their backs towards me, which made no difference because I could still see their reflection in the mirror. They were identical twins, only one had black feathered hair and the other had a blonde mohawk. In the mirror I could tell easily they were Puerto Rican. They both had arched eyebrows except 'feathered' had his right one pierced. He also had a stud in his ear and was wearing a black pullover. 'Mohawk' was in a jean jacket and sporting a black choker. They both had green eyes, full red lips and strong facial features that were definitely from the male side of the family. Definitely very attractive.

Their companion was facing me, which I was very glad for. He was so handsome and I didn't want him seeing me stare so I positioned myself to only see him when one of the twins would move. Talk about a looker. His hair, bold and red, was cut close on the sides and became longer as it reached the top. Even with the part in the middle his bangs still came down to his eyes. I could tell he was a natural because his eyebrows and lashes were the same. His eyes were a light blue but seem to sparkle when he laughed or smiled. He was definitely muscled, which showed through his shirt. He also had full kissable lips and I noticed he also had a few freckles on each cheek.

My gaydar was going off the charts, with the twins but I couldn't be sure of 'Red'. The twins were flaming queens, but 'Red' seemed pretty down to earth. If I wasn't so attracted to him it would be functioning as usual. He caught me staring, when he went to put his keys in his pocket, and smiled at me. Of course my stupid reaction was to smile sheepishly and wave. The twins ,of course, didn't miss a beat and turned to smile at me too, both giving me the once over and winking in unison. I felt my cheeks flush which made them chuckle.

I caught his eye once more as I got up and we smiled at each other again. Leaving the diner I went along the sidewalk where they were sitting and glanced at him as I walked by. I could hear the twins laughing and teasing him. It didn't matter to me, I was just passing through. True I would've loved getting to know him, but what would he want with someone like me. My self-esteem is low enough so I try not to get too attached and for me it could happen with just a glance. No I'm not talking about teenage hormones or puppy love. I hate that term, the latter. I just need to focus on me anyway and worry about making it. The rain had stopped but it was getting humid. I looked back at the diner one last time and after a minute or two continued on my way.

* * *


"He was CUTE!"

"Wasn't he?!"

"He's a minor," I said shaking my head at them." You two are just horny imps. Not even chastity belts can stop you guys." He was walking along the sidewalk up next to our window and I couldn't help but look again. Jose and Jason burst out laughing and started making 'lovey dovey' remarks. " Funny guys, very funny. Queens can be such bitches." which caused Jason to burst into a laughing fit.

"Awwww, don't be a sour puss baby." Jose said checking his mohawk in the mirror behind me.

"Don't call me that."

"Ohhhh, she's touchy today. PMS?!" Jason asked with a smirk on his face.

"Poor kids homeless." They gave him a 'how did you figure that out' look, "his clothes are a little worn and who would be out this late?! I'm telling you he is homeless."

"Well it's not like you'll see him again. If you do then you can ask him," I sighed and waited for the remark that was on one of their tongues, and in both their minds. "Then you can drop him off at the nursery." They both burst into laughter. "What is he like two or three?!" Jason was hunched over, really getting into his joke.

"He's probably no more than 15 or 16, but you're right. If I see him again I'm going to talk to him. Kind of feel bad for him." It was hard to feel guilty around these two. One comment and they could have me laughing or utterly pissed off. Sometimes they could just take it there, but I wouldn't trade them. I've known them since freshman year of college. They tried to pick me up one night but I wasn't attracted to them , so we just kept it at a friendship level. It doesn't matter, they get more than enough play.

* * *

It started raining, again, which meant people were driving on the streets like they were on a racetrack. I'm not one of those kind of drivers. We had a great night out and had just finished saying my goodbyes to the twins. They lived in a nice neighborhood in the northeast but I was further south. My apartment complex was at the corner of Lovegrove Street and East Eager Street, which was a block east of The Hippo and Grand Central. Definitely a good location in this city.

I figured it must've been irony. I was heading south on Lovegrove and was about to cross East Preston when I saw that same blonde head I had seen earlier in the diner, only wet. I'm not sure what made me do it but I pulled up along side the curb and honked the horn. He jumped a little, stopping in his tracks. Pressing the left button on my armrest the window went down far enough to show my face.

"Hi. I...I...I don't know if you remember me, but I saw you at the diner." I thought he was going to turn away, but slowly he nodded and smiled a little. "Look I know you don't know me but do you need a ride or something? I'm not trying to pick you up or anything." the last part rushing out.

"Um...that's really alright. I don't want to be a bother." I don't know why but I just couldn't let him walk away. Some small voice just seemed to be telling me that I needed to know him. I wasn't sure why, but if there's one thing I know my hunches are never wrong.

"It's o.k. I mean I've never been in your situation so I'm not going to act like I know how you feel. I mean you are homeless right?" The blonde kept looking at him, only with a face without emotion. "I can see you need a little help and I'm just offering a helping hand. It''s o.k, to accept it." He still looked a little apprehensive but finally nodded again and walked around the car. I unlocked the door and closed my window. Taking off his jacket, as he opened the door, he folded the wet side in on itself so it was a dry cushion for the seat. I smiled a little as he closed the door. " How considerate." I said checking for cars and pulling back out onto the street.

"No problem. Just didn't want to mess up your seats." he was definitely nervous but I figured most of his shaking was from the rain, " It's an Audi right?" I nodded and quickly glanced over at him. "It's nice."

"Thanks. Names Alroy Waite and you?"

"Parker....Parker Barclay. Um...thank you." he said looking out the passenger window. Coming up to my intersection I pulled into a parking space across the street from my building. It was around 3:30 a.m. so parking was no problem, even on a Friday night all the club and bar hoppers were already gone. I stood on the curb as he got out and came around. I must've been staring because he looked at me kind of funny." Maybe I should-"

"No, don't go. I'm sorry it was rude to stare. Look I'm serious I don't want sex or anything like that. I-I just want to help you." I said as I clicked the alarm on the car. I checked the street and crossed it, smiling a little as I heard his footsteps with mine. I had to admit he was either pretty stupid or pretty brave to just go along with a stranger. I held the door open and let him in first. I went over to the overnight desk clerk and told him I had a guest staying with me. I glanced over my shoulder at Parker and found him looking around the lobby. It was nothing special, atleast not to me. The floors were a black and white marble tile and the walls were all white. The elevator and stairs were across from the entrance and to the left were the chairs, sofas and the front desk. The furniture was black and white to match the floor. I thought it was plain but I guess others might think it extravagant.

I had finished signing him in on the clipboard and gestured for him to follow me to the elevator. He seemed like he was a little more at ease and threw me a friendly smile. He was so handsome and seemed like he didn't belong anywhere near the street. Like he was wealthy or royalty. The doors opened and I pressed the button for the tenth floor, before we stood next to each other facing the door. I stood about five inches taller than him, at six foot 3 inches. I liked that factor, because it just made me feel like I could protect him and hold him physically. What was wrong with me! I don't know this kid, plus HE'S A KID! That's jailbait. The ride was short and we exited and I directed him to the left. My apartment was the last one on the left, which was a corner apartment. He seemed to notice this floor, red, was a different color than the lobby.

"Each floor is a different color." I stated as I unlocked the door and stepped aside to let him in. He nodded in comprehension and stepped into my home.

* * *


He seemed genuine but there was something else about him. I actually thought he wanted to pick me up, which I would've gone along with in a heartbeat. Probably has a bombshell girlfriend, or a couple, stored away somewhere. For a straight guy he seemed pretty nice so I looked at this scenario as an act of kindness. Offering me a ride and then a place to sleep for the night, I definitely didn't want to screw this up. I'd just play it cool and say thank you when the time would come for me to leave. It's not like I could make a pass at him anyhow. Anything involving intimacy is pretty new to me, so new I haven't even been kissed.

He had stepped aside and let me into the apartment first. I stepped in looking down the hallway, while he closed and locked the door. The walls were a burnt orange color and had a small table with a vanity mirror above it. There were four lights, two on each side, which were dim enough to give a relaxing feeling and a brown carpet that ran the length of the hallway. He took off his jacket and asked for mine to place in the hall closet and matching his movements I slipped off my shoes and placed them next to his.

"Thank you."

"Sure. This," he said stepping up to the first door on the left, "is the kitchen." I looked inside and was impressed how the cabinets had a steel frame with glass windows in the center, showing what was on each shelf. The counters were a black and silver marble which also occupied half of the island. The fridge and other appliances looked like they were top of the line and they were also silver. The lights in this room hung from the ceiling like dozens of stars. He adjusted the switch from full brightness and dimmed it down until the lights were off and then back again. "Over here," he stated as he turned directly across the hall, " is the dining room. It had a simple yet effective design. The floors were hard wood and looked as if they had just been buffed. A large glass dining table occupied the center of the room, lined with six chairs. One at each end and two on each side. There was a wall mounted radio on the right wall and a large panoramic painting, of the beach, on the left wall. The wall opposite of us had to ceiling to floor windows with cream colored curtains, that also matched the color of the dining room walls. On the left wall, past the painting was a doorway, which after leading me through it went right into the living room. He definitely had money because everything so far looked expensive and the living room was no different.

The whole theme was brown, tan and white. The carpet was white while the sofa, couch and chair were tan, each lined with brown and white pillows. On the wall, which had the beach painting on the other side, was a plasma T.V. and at the other end was the doorway back to the hall. Across from the t.v. was the couch and to it's right was the sofa and the chair to its left. In the center was a glass table with three remotes. At the ends of the couch were end tables with lamps atop them. Underneath the t.v. was an entertainment center with a stereo sitting on top. The wall opposite of the t.v. was lined with more, ceiling to floor length, windows and curtains that matched the theme of the room. The wall that was to our right had one window and a door next to it that led to a patio. The wall opposite of that, to our left, had a doorway to the kitchen, that I had missed the first time, and one next to it that went to another hall.

"Were you sleepy right now? I could show you to the guest room." We were standing almost shoulder to shoulder, still in front of the doorway to the dining room.

"Actually I'm not tired yet."

"Well did you want to shower? I can get those clothes clean and you can wear something of mine." If it was possible I could've sworn he heard my inward scream. Of course I would wear something of his. No 'taking care of business' tonight though, although I could do it in the shower.

"I'll shower."

"Cool," he said leading me over to the hallway to the bedrooms. "The bathroom is the door at the end of the hall. I'll be right back with something for you." He went into the door on the right and I continued down the hall, to the bathroom. To say I was speechless would be an understatement. To the left of the door was a large tub atop a marble foundation, with three steps leading up to it. Across from me was a counter with a built in sink with stainless steel knobs and faucet. The mirror above the sink ran the length of the counter. Next to the sink was a small door, I assumed the toilet was in there since it wasn't in sight. To the right was a large shower enclosed in glass with several shower heads attached to a central pole. The tiles in the shower were a sand color that matched the tan and white marble that made the counter and the foundation of the tub. The floor itself was tile but also held the same marble design, while the walls were split horizontally, the top half white and the bottom half sand. Instead of an overhead light the room was accentuated with wall lights around the room. I found that this room, like the others, had light settings that went from bright to dim to off. Between the light switch and shower was a small narrow door.

"Hope these are o.k.?" he asked breaking me out of my trance. I turned to see him holding a white t-shirt and blue and white plaid pajama bottoms. I took them from his hands and walked over to the counter to set them down. "Towels," he said pointing to the small narrow door," are in there. When you get undressed just set your clothes outside the door and I'll put them in the washing machine. Oh, there are guest toothbrushes in there too."

I couldn't believe this guy, going to all this trouble just for me. He was truly amazing and I wanted so badly to show him I appreciated this.

"Thank you." I replied as he closed the door on his way out. I glanced around once more and started taking off my clothes. I couldn't believe I had been in these clothes for so long, it actually felt like I was freeing myself. I always loved being naked and now that I was in such comfortable surroundings I was floating on cloud nine. After fishing out my wallet and setting it on the counter I scooped up my clothes and stepped over to the door. He was there leaning against the wall waiting for me. I laughed as his cheeks flushed and he looked anywhere but at me. "Sorry I'm more comfortable when I'm naked. Besides we're both guys."

", um....right." he stammered as he took them from my arms. My god, he was so adorable. I noticed he had large hands that matched his large frame and began to wonder how it would feel to have them touch all over me. I focused back on him after he became quiet and found him gazing at me, but not my face. I turned crimson as I realized he was looking at the one part of me that seemed to have risen within a few seconds. He snapped out of it and began backing down the hall. "I'm just gonna......" and with that he turned the corner to the kitchen. Smiling a little I turned back into the bathroom, not bothering with door. It was pointless since I already let him see me in the buff. A smile ghosted my face because I was more than happy for him to see me. I wanted him to do more, but I wasn't going to try and press my luck. Then a thought occurred to me. He was staring at me while I was aroused, maybe he's not as straight as I thought.

The shower heads were amazing, and the hot water was perfect. It felt good to be clean and the shower didn't just do that on a physical level. I was feeling so good I even wanted to 'release some tension', that seemed to skyrocket since I met Alroy. I didn't though, it wasn't right to do that in another persons home. Finishing up I grabbed a towel and found that the 'guest toothbrushes' was a pile of disposables in a bowl on the shelf above the towels. I frowned as I imagined all the 'guests' these brushes were for. Oh well, can't have everything you want......but still I just couldn't help feeling something more.

* * *


I could hear him in the shower as I headed for the living room. Of course he didn't close the door, it really would've been pointless since I had just seen him naked. I had just changed into a t-shirt and black pajama bottoms. I loved those pj bottoms and had more than a dozen, so comfortable. I went over to the stereo and put on one of my favorite cds. It was a relaxation cd I listened to whenever I needed to unwind and clear my head. I couldn't believe he was comfortable enough to be naked in front of me. I wasn't even sure how to react but I guess by idiotic stuttering made up for that. He was so handsome standing there. I was afraid to look him in the eye and tried not to, until I saw it out of the corner of my eye. He was getting aroused and fast. By the time he caught me staring we was fully aroused and I couldn't tear my eyes away. I couldn't believe it but his bush was the same blonde as the hair on his head. His manhood was just as perfect as the rest of him and he was definitely built like a grown man, not the teenager he was. That was another thing that bothered me. It took me every ounce of will power not to reach out and touch him, but it was more discouraging because he was underage. Even though he hadn't discussed it yet I could still tell. I backed off with his clothes, as I felt myself begin to arise. After I put the clothes in the washing machine I must've stood in front of the refrigerator, with the freezer door open for nearly ten minutes. I didn't go down all the way but it was enough so I could walk back, comfortably, to my room to change.

Back out in the living room I crawled onto the couch, flipping over so I lay on my back. I closed my eyes and just took in the music for a few minutes. I was already becoming calm but that image of Parker naked filtered back into my mind and I couldn't get rid of it. Parker, even his name fit him. I didn't even realize when I lost touch with my surroundings.

I stepped closer and kissed his lips lightly, him smiling sheepishly in return. We're still there in the doorway but his clothes are now at our feet. I begin to kiss his jaw line, until I reach his neck. His skin is so soft and because my eyes are open I find no flaws from the neck up. Nibbling and kissing I make my way down the side of his neck and start moving over to his throat, tasting skin like he's an aphrodisiac. Placing a hand on each hip I lifted him up, pulling him into me, while he wraps his legs around my waist. He readjusts himself so his arousal is standing straight up and trapped between us. There was so much heat radiating off of him and it I thought I might reach my orgasm if he started to grind into me. Leaning my head back I smiled a little at the mark I left on his neck. It was going to be big but I didn't care, it was like I was marking my territory. I know he's not mine but I still felt like I wanted to protect him and keep him as my own. Looking up at him I was once again trapped by those beautiful eyes, and I realized I didn't want to look away. If he could learn everything about me with that gaze I'd let him know all. Resting my head into his neck he emitted a small whimper, that caused my heart to melt and hold him even tighter. I wasn't letting him go now, I couldn't.

"Alroy?" he whispered in my ear. I began to feel a pressure on my chest like I was being pushed. His face began to blur and fade with the surroundings. It felt like something was ripping my stomach from the inside out.

"Parker? Don't go."

"Alroy," this time it sounded different like it was above me and that pressure was a hand on my chest. I realized what happened and opened my eyes to see Parker standing over me. I smiled at him affectionately and made him blush. ""

"What?" I asked trying to decipher the look on his face. I nearly jumped up as I felt him grasp my manhood, which was so hard it could probably be used as a weapon. His touch sent a jolt through my body, nearly causing me to climax. Atleast he grabbed me through my pants. That would've been too embarrassing because I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from....getting to that point. Wait, he touched me." Oh my god!" I gasped as I sat up and placed the nearest pillow on my lap.

"Good dream?" he asked sitting down next to me. Smiling a little I nodded and focused my attention around the room." Sorry, I couldn't resist the opportunity."

"I wasn't asleep,"

"In a daze?"


"Is this Tai Chi?"

"I'm sorry? Oh, the cd...yeah."

"Back home..." I looked over at him to find him with his head down. Damn, who would want to hurt this kid." uh... back home it was one of my favorites." Turning his head to me it was like the pain that was there never happened. I wanted to know what happened to him, but far be it for me to try and push him. When he's ready he'll talk. "Your apartment is amazing."

"Thanks." I said, drumming my thumbs on the pillow. I glanced over at the stereo and let out a sigh.

"Something wrong?"

"No. Just didn't realize how late it was getting." his eyes followed mine to the clock then nodded in affirmation. " 5 a.m.....So are you from Maryland?"

With that question we spent the next two hours getting to know each other better. I was beginning to feel like I knew him his whole life. Kind of made me wonder if the feeling was mutual. I found myself trying to make him laugh and smile, just so I could see that angelic smile or hear that wonderful care-free laughter. Whether it was intentional or not he also had me laughing and smiling. By the time the conversation died down we were sitting in a comfortable silence, each of us stealing glances at the other and sometimes making eye contact. Again he thanked me as he stood to go to bed. I only smiled and nodded, then watched as he headed for the guest room. Even walking away I couldn't help the strong desire to touch him. I now feel so content and happy with him. After a few minutes I headed off to my own bed and fell asleep with a lopsided grin stuck on my face.

* * *


Later that day Parker found Alroy in the kitchen making sandwiches. He too was still in his night clothes with ruffled hair, looking like he just woke up before him. Parker stood in the doorway and watched him as he continued. He couldn't deny his feelings were getting stronger and consuming him. He wanted, so badly, to cross the room just to feel the touch of his warm skin or the softness of his lips. He laughed inward at himself and his silliness. He was thrown from his thoughts when he heard Alroy speak to him.

"Did you plan on saying something or just watching me?" he asked still with his back to him. " It's o.k. I know my ass is hot." Parker burst into a nervous laugh knowing he hit more than the bullseye.

"Funny." he said as he crossed the kitchen and joined Alroy at his side. Alroy had a big grin on his face which made the other boys' heart flutter wildly. He looked like such an innocent and adorable person Parker lost all his inhibitions and turned the other boy to face him. " I'm sorry but I gotta do this."

"Wh-" his words were cut off when his lips met the others'. It was soft and light at first, both looking into the each others eyes with uncertainty. Alroy soon found he was hungrily kissing him back and wrapped his arms around the small waist. Parker had one hand on the tall man's chest and the other over his shoulder.

Half an hour later they finally stopped. Both looking starry -eyed and breathless. Jumping off the counter his knees nearly gave way, since he had no recollection of even being placed on the island.

"That..... was amazing." Parker panted as he leaned on the counter. Alroy retrieved the sandwiches, passing him one along with a bottle of water. Accepting it with a smile he made his way to the couch and was joined a few minutes later. Sitting down next to him Parker could feel the tension and uncertainty coming off the body next to him. He wasn't stupid and knew very well what was on the other boys' mind. "My age bothers you doesn't it?"

"I'm sorry." he said, sounding as if someone finally told him to exhale. " I really want to but..... I would feel like I'm taking advantage of you, plus you're a kid. I know, you had to and still are growing up but it wouldn't be right." Alroy dropped his head, refusing to meet the other boys' gaze.

"My birthday is coming in a few days." he lifted his head and looked over at him. " How old did you think I was?"

"13, maybe 14."

"Wow! Really?! Thanks, I guess. I'm 16."

"When's your birthday?"

"Today's's this Wednesday." he said moving closer so they were sitting side by side. " Alroy I really like you and I want to be with you, but what can I offer you?! I'm a runaway with no job, home or-"



"Stay here, with me."

"I can't do-"

" I know this isn't how it normally goes, but really I want you to stay. I know I can't claim to love you right now and you have no reason to trust me. I need you, yeah sounds crazy but I can't explain it." Inside Parker knew it sounded quite sane, since he was feeling the same emotions. " Just think about staying, please?" He received his answer when he felt a hand slide into his. Although he would hate himself for saying it he couldn't help it. " And if you ever feel you're tired or bored with me you can leave. I just want the chance to make you happy." A smile rose across Parkers' face at that statement. He knew as well as the other he would never be tired or anywhere near bored with this man. The only thing that made him hesitate was that he couldn't meet him halfway. He always felt uncomfortable with people trying to do things for him. Those old ways would have to be squashed if he wanted to continue with Alroy, and the rest of him knew for sure, in what his mind couldn't decipher.

An hour later both were dressed and online in Alroys' room. They found the age of consent which made him slightly more comfortable. Both also looked up the steps it would take for Parker to get emancipated.

" That should be easy. I mean you graduated early, smart-ass," he said as he got a small life out of Parker," so now you only need a job, a place to stay, hint hint, and your parents will say yes if your father doesn't want to go to jail." Parker wrapped his arms around Alroys neck as he looked over his shoulder at the monitor.

" Even though I had been considering it I didn't realize it could be so simple. As far as jobs I'd like to try some modeling."

"You would make quite a living doing that. Your face is very unique. Who do you get your looks from?" he asked planting a kiss on the arm on his right shoulder.

"My mom and my grandfather, on my fathers' side." he stated as he noticed the difference in their skin tones. Alroy had pale skin to match his hair, but his own skin was as white as cream.

He laughed inward at the fact that white and red was the color scheme for the master bedroom. The room was large. A king size bed was against the wall that had the entrance to the room. Across from there was a wall of windows which could be blocked off by electric blinds. Between the bed and windows were two chairs, one red the other white, with a glass table between them. To the right, against the wall, were a book shelf, a walk in closet and door to his private bath. Across the room on the opposite wall sat a glass desk, next to a window, and a computer alcove. On both sides of the bed were night stands and like the head and foorboards, the alcove, and the bookshelf they too were made of a deep cherry wood.

"You designed the apartment?"

"I did."

"I thought so. I can tell you put a lot of yourself into it." he said spinning in a circle as he glanced around once more. It occurred to him that his father would probably be away, since he liked to fish on the weekend, so he could try to call his mom. Hugging Alroy from behind he planted a kiss on the top of his head and slowly made his way to the living room.

Sitting on the couch, with the phone in his lap, he stared at it for what seemed like a decade. With shaky hands he picked up the receiver. Dialing *67 and then the house number, he listened, trying to hear past the quick and heavy thumping in his ears. The phone was on its third ring when he was about to hang up.

"Hello?" he wanted to cry or respond but he couldn't make a sound. He felt if he tried to say something his lungs and heart would come out of his mouth. His mothers' voice hit him like a ton of bricks and he wanted to be in her arms once again. "Hello?" Say something Parker, talk to her. "Who is this?"

"Hey Parker I-" he stopped mid sentence when he saw the boy on the phone with his back to him. He didn't even have to think, to know what he was doing, and returned to his room giving Parker some privacy.

"Parker?! Is that you?"

"" he could hear her begin to cry on the other end and realized he had his own tears streaming his face.

"I've....missed much. o.k.?"

"Yes mom. I'm fine."

"Where are you sweetie?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm staying with a friend. Don't bother trying to look up the number, I blocked it."

"I understand."

"Mom I-"

"I'm sorry honey. I don't apologize for your father. He's made it clear where he stands." he winced when she said that, but remained quiet.

"I called for a reason." he paused but continued when she remained silent. "I want to be emancipated." The other end still remained silent and he thought she may have gotten disconnected. " Mom are you there?"

"Yes, yes honey."

"I haven't spoken with a lawyer yet, but I do want this. I can't have a connection with him and you know that."

"I do."

"I have a place to live and I'm in the process of getting a job. School, of course, isn't even an issue ." He could hear light crying on the other end. It felt like his heart was being grasped by a strong hand, to hear her like that, but if he wanted to stay away from him he couldn't back down.

"I understand.....and it's for the best. I'll....I'll talk to him and see what he has to say. I'm so glad you ran. After you left he destroyed your room. He burned your clothes and a few other things in the backyard. Neighbors nearly called the police. He didn't calm down for two days. Parker....I still want to be a part of your life, if you'll let me. How can I reach you? I mean will you let me?"

"As far as I'm concerned you always have, still do and will always be involved. I'll call again, just tell me when."

"Your father gets back on Sunday night, he's fishing." He dropped his head and smiled a little, they always bonded like a father and son should when they fished together. " I'll talk to him Monday when he gets off work and you can call Tuesday, about midday. I have that day off."


"I'm so proud of you, Parker. I should've tried to protect you better."


"No! Don't say it. He had no right to do that to you. I've never seen him react that way before. I hate what he did to you but at the same time I love him too much to leave him. He's never raised a hand to me or treated me unfairly, so I know I'll be fine. I hope you can understand that."

"I do. You're still my mother. The emancipation will only change that in 'government paperwork'. I love you, mom."

"I love you too, son." After a brief pause he heard the click, letting him know she hung up. Hanging up the phone he realized he forgot to ask about Paul and his family. He decided to just ask when Tuesday came. Wiping away his tears he placed the phone back on the end table and turned to see Alroy standing in the hallway entrance. Looking at each other, both began to talk with only body movement and facial expressions.

Alroy folded his arms across his chest and stood away from the wall. 'So'

Parker gave a half smile and scratched the back of his head. 'So'

Both took a step closer to each other.

Alroy tilted his head to the side, with a concerned look on his face. 'How did it go?'

Parker shrugged his shoulders. 'O.k.'

Inside, he could feel it crack and begin to give way. His heart and whole chest beginning to ache. It couldn't be contained any longer. Starting to shake he reached out his arms to the other man, just as his legs were about to go out from under him. Alroy closed the space between them squeezing Parker, as hard as he was being squeezed, and holding him up at the same time. The flood gates, torn from their hinges, completely swept away and everything between now and from 'that night' came rushing through. Heart stricken heavy sobs racked his body, filling every corner of that apartment. Alroys' eyes glazed over as he recognized the cries that could only come from a pain filled and chaotic place. A place where you finally dealt with what's been stored away, hopefully to be forgotten but never really is.

Picking up Parker in his arms, Alroy carried him to the master bedroom and placed him in the bed. After some readjusting he had the sheet and comforter over him then slipped on to the bed, holding him in his arms. After nearly an hour Parker finally began to doze off and Alroy continued to watch him. He realized that he was no longer a boy or 'some kid', despite his age. He was a handsome and innocent man who deserved more in life. Stroking a few strands of hair to the side he kissed his forehead. Tracing a finger down the side of his loves' face it ended up lightly tracing his lips. It didn't matter anymore. He decided he wasn't going to let him go and he wanted to spend the rest of his life making him as happy as he could and giving him unconditional love. It didn't matter how the odds looked or what obstacles still stood in their way. He was smart and he knew plenty of people. After a few minutes he followed his companion into a deep sleep, arms protectively around him and a content smile on his face.

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