His name,whispered from the bed next to him. It was a hot summer evening and the room was still just light with the last of the dusk - turned green by the fading curtains.
"Martin?" Kevin's whisper again, a little louder.
"Are you still awake?"
Martin whispered a giggle.
"No, I'm asleep!"
It was funny really. Kevin and Martin had been sleeping next to each other in the dorm for nearly six weeks this term, but, as often happened in school, Martin had other friends in class and from other times and he and Kevin had never really got around to knowing each other very well. Martin liked him though. He was, although Martin would never have said it to anyone, attractive. Yes, Martin thought Kevin was a very attractive boy. His hair was naturally a very light brown, but he lived in Africa somewhere, and the sun had turned his hair blond and his skin a warm brown colour.
Martin knew that Kevin was clever too, and, unlike himself, Kevin worked hard. He played chess with Martin often and Kevin usually beat him, and they regularly shared thoughts about books they had read and music they listened to.
"I was talking with Jonathan after prep. Tonight... "
Kevin paused. Martin felt a slight tightening in his stomach. Jonathan was a good friend of Martin's, perhaps his best friend and the friendship included sex stuff with each other.
Kevin sounded like he was waiting for some sort of permission to carry on.
"What were you talking about?" Martin asked, cautiously. It wasn't that he was scared, Martin was as big as any thirteen year old, and certainly bigger than Kevin, but he didn't like fighting, and he didn't like being called names, especially queer.
Kevin took the risk.
"... He said you and he... "
He voice dropped so low that Martin could only just make out.
"... Do stuff."
Even now Martin was wary of committing himself.
"You know... stuff... sex."
He knew alright. Barely a day passed when he didn't have some sort of sexual contact with one of the other boys. A wank, a suck, sometimes just a grope in the darkened security of the class room when the blinds came down to watch the TV or projector.
Kevin was a surprise to Martin though. He never seemed like the kind that might be interested. A bit too serious, he supposed, a bit too sensible to be involved in that sort of thing, that sort of game. Too nice. Not a dirty pervert like Martin thought he must be, to enjoy playing with cocks, but it was just a game, a bit of fun - that's all it was. That's what Martin always told himself - just a bit of fun.
"Why?... Are you interested?"
"Sort of.. I ... Yeah."
"Did you and Jonathan do anything?"
Martin didn't ask him that because he was jealous, he was just curious, and by now also aroused.
"No. We didn't."
"Oh" Martin replied, surprised that Jonathan would have got as far as talking but not doing. Jonathan was always horny. Martin reckoned he was maybe the only boy in Martin's year who wanked with more other boys than he did.
"I didn't want to."
Suddenly Martin wasn't quite sure where this conversation was going. If Kevin wanted to do sex, then why didn't he want to do it with Jonathan, and if he didn't want to do stuff then what was he talking about it for? Martin lay quiet.
"Not with him anyway, but ... "
Still confused but becoming braver, Martin shifted across his bed. The beds were close enough for him to stretch an arm across and touch the soft fabric of the pyjamas that covered Kevin's shoulder.
"Not here" Kevin whispered.
"Why not, no one else is awake, no one else will hear us."
By now Martin's cock was hard. He needed to touch and be touched.
"I know a good place." Kevin whispered again.
What did Kevin mean, 'a good place', Martin wondered. What was wrong with here. They could both easily reach if they stretched across a bit, and the bogs were too public at this time of night. Everyone knew why boys went there at night.
"The big airing cupboard downstairs."
Martin almost shouted rather than whispered. The idea was brilliant in one way. There was no chance of being disturbed down there. The problem was that it meant traversing two flights of stairs undetected and with no reasonably credible excuse that Martin could think of if they got caught. It seemed a lot of risk for... Martin wasn't even sure what for.
"Isn't that a bit crazy?" he asked in as neutral a tone as he could manage. He was too turned on now for the risk to be a show stopper.
"It'll be worth it... Come on."
Kevin got out of bed. Martin tried to see if he was stiff, but by now the dorm was dark. Martin scrabbled around for his pyjama top which he had taken off earlier because of the heat and, not bothering with any of the buttons, put it on and followed Kevin. The door was open a crack, but it was dark beyond it. Nobody troubled with the landing lights at this time of year. Kevin opened the door wider and looked out to the deserted hallway. At the end of the long corridor the staff duty room door was ajar and the grey blue flickering light and tinny sound of television filtered from it. They walked quickly over the marble effect lino to the top of the stairs and Martin peered down through the wrought iron bannisters to the hallway below. A thumbs up sign to Kevin and they descended the stairs quickly and silently with the well practised tread of bare boarding school feet. On the next level, the same careful progress and they were down to the basement level. This was where the boiler pipes entered the house and the large walk-in cupboard that contained the fresh laundry and bed linen of some sixty boys. Kevin opened the door and the light from a dim bulb flooded into the dark space.
Kevin reached up to a small white device in the hinge of the door and began to unscrew something.
"What are you doing?" Martin asked, both puzzled and concerned about the light.
"If you don't take this off, the light goes off as soon as you close the door."
Kevin turned and smiled at Martin. Something happened inside Martin. A sudden rush like being frightened, except that he wasn't scared. He suddenly felt very safe. Kevin knew what he was doing.
"I used to come down here when I got homesick... to read ... And sometimes to write."
Kevin used to get homesick? Martin was surprised. Kevin seemed too sensible and - well - grown up for that.
The white switch came loose and he carefully placed it just inside the door on the floor. Both boys went in and Kevin pulled the door closed behind them.
Kevin stood in front of Martin, smiling that same smile that had made Martin feel so strange, so nice, just now. Normally it was always Martin that made the first move when it came to sex, but somehow this seemed different, like it wasn't a game and that Kevin knew how this was done. Martin just smiled back, looking at Kevin's face, a face which, for the first time, he could see was kind and caring. A face that was safe and secure. Martin felt that rush again.
Kevin reached a hand up to Martin's face and stroked his cheek, still smiling, still silent. Then he raised his other hand behind Martin's head and pulled his face down to his, his lips to his, and he kissed Martin. A long, warm, wet kiss. A kiss with his tongue, a kiss like Martin had never had, like Martin had never given. This was not the same as sex stuff. Martin's cock was hard, harder than it had ever been, but this time, he didn't want to wank and cum. He wanted Kevin to kiss him again. Kevin leant back and studied Martin's face, gently moving his hands down his neck and under the collar of his unbuttoned pyjama top. He pushed it back and it flopped to the floor behind Martin who stood in front of him, his bare chest rising up and down, spellbound, a state of shock, confusion and contentment. He didn't know what to do next. He just gazed blankly into Kevin's beautiful face.
"You have lovely skin." Kevin said, his hand moving down Martin's neck and on to his chest. Martin felt the hot wet of tears in his eyes. No one had ever told him something so personal, so caring, just as no one had ever caressed his body with such tenderness. He pulled Kevin to him and clung to his neck, dampening his shoulder with the tears that seemed to have been waiting for so long for this chance to flow.
"Tell me this isn't just a game Kevin" Martin mumbled, "tell me it's not."
Kevin pushed him back giving no reply, but a single finger raised to his lips and a gentle "shhh". Then stooping slightly he leant forward to Martin's chest and kissed one of his nipples. The kiss turned into a suck and instinctively Martin reached for the back of Kevin's head with his hand and pressed Kevin's head against his chest, looking down to his sun bleached hair and breathing deeply, drinking his smell. A heady mix of shampoo and shower gel and something that was just Kevin. He was beautiful, so beautiful, too beautiful. Suddenly Martin felt a sense of panic. He didn't want his life not to be like this any more. He didn't want ever not to have been kissed by Kevin. He had to know this was real. He pulled Kevin's head from his breast and cupping his soft chin and cheeks in his hands, kissed him again. It was still there - that feeling. The indescribable mix of fear and fearlessness, of tenderness and lust. New feelings, wonderful feelings.
Martin didn't know what he wanted to say - he thought he wanted to cry again but it was just part of the strange unknown feeling.
"Kevin. Why? Why this? Why me? Why?"
Kevin looked at him with that smile again - Martin felt like he would burst.
"Because I love you Martin. Because the only thing in the world I want is to be close to you. You asked just now if this was a game. It's not, not for me. This is how I am. It's not like they tell us in class. It's not a phase for me. I'm not going to grow out of it. I love boys, not girls. It's not a game. It's real and I love you so much I had to tell someone, so I told Jonathan. It's just a game for him, but he said he didn't think it was for you. 'Go for it' he said - 'I won't tell' he said 'What have you got to lose?'.
"... and so I did, but it feels to me like I've got everything to lose. But I had to know Martin, I have to know ... that's why ... I love you."
Martin heard the words "I love you", and now he knew what that strange feeling was all about. Was that him loving Kevin or Kevin loving him? He didn't know for sure but he knew now that he loved Kevin too.
"It's not" - Martin undid the top button of Kevin's pyjama top
"a game for me" - and he undid the second button
"either" - and he undid the last button and pushed Kevin's top off.
"and I don't think I knew that until now Kevin, and you make me feel... "
Martin hugged Kevin close and held him. He could feel both their hearts thumping, their rhythm joining the naked skin of their chests and arms wrapped around each other. Now it was Kevin who seemed relieved and Martin who was finding a strength in the love that he now recognised. Their lips met again and this time Kevin drew Martin's whole body to his, one hand behind his head pressing his lips to his, the other the around his backside, holding Martin tight against his groin. Martin could feel the lump of Kevin's hard cock pressed against the side of his. His hands reached behind Kevin, and tightened the lock on their bodies.
It seemed like forever, all Martin's strength draining but being replaced by something new, something softer and something he didn't feel ashamed of. Once again his eyes were misted by tears and he could feel the tightness in his throat of trying not to cry aloud. When he finally spoke it came out as a fumbled mix of giggling and sobbing.
"Sorry ... sorry Kevin, it just feels strange that's all, like a film that's so happy it makes you feel sad, that's how I feel."
Kevin started to kiss Martin's chest again and then pulled away from him purposefully and turned to face the shelf of pyjamas, neatly arranged in piles two or three deep. He pushed them all to one end of the shelf and then reached under the shelf and produced a thick quilted thing that Martin guessed must one of the many sleeping bags kept by the school for camping trips. Kevin unrolled it over the warm wooden slats of the pyjama shelf. He jumped up on to the shelf and laid down, close to the wall, his hand beckoning Martin to the space beside him.
Martin sat on the shelf next to where he lay. He took a moment to savour the lithe beauty of Kevin's naked top half and the lower half still clad in baggy soft cotton pyjamas, secured around the waist by a thick white cord, but clearly tented by Kevin's stiff cock which pulsed beneath the material in time with his beating heart. Martin's finger traced a line from Kevin's navel to one of the loose ends of the white cord. He gripped it and pulled gently causing the loosely tied bow to unravel. As he did so, Kevin's hand mirrored his actions releasing the tie around Martin's bottoms. Martin stood up and his pyjama bottoms fell in a soft concertina around his ankles. Kevin raised his middle allowing Martin to pull his bottoms down exposing Kevin's hard cock rising from a fuzz of light brown hair, and rooted in two balls hanging in a nearly naked pouch of soft wrinkled skin. His foreskin completely covered the end as a puffy lip and was slick with the thin honey of his pre ejaculate. Martin's own foreskin was already strained slightly back from the tip revealing the eye of his cock looking out through a single lens of sap oozing from its opening.
Kevin reached out to him, and he got back on to the makeshift bed, lying next to him and savouring the closeness of his hot skin. He rolled over onto him and supporting his weight on his outstretched arms began to grind his cock and and Kevin's between them. Martin lowered his head to kiss Kevin's lips, his face and his neck whilst Kevin's hands worked on his buttocks, clenched in an effort to slow the orgasm that was already building in him.
"Fuck me Martin ... fuck my arse. Fill me."
Fuck? Martin had never fucked. That was what real homos did, not players of the game like him. He looked down at Kevin, at his perfect smile and his eyes, inviting, imploring Martin to make him his. Fuck - this was no game. Then just for a moment Martin hesitated. How? How do you do it? He wondered. The moment passed as Kevin took control. He reached behind him and grabbed a couple of pairs of clean pyjamas, and lifting his bottom, placed them beneath, raising it slightly. He raised his feet and hooked his legs over the top of Martin's shoulders, at the same time taking a mouthful of spit in his fingers which he rubbed around and into the tight star of his arse.
"It'll hurt me Martin. I want it to hurt me. Hurt me, fill me." Kevin's whisper turned almost to a sigh.
Still unsure, Martin slicked his cock with spit and almost falling onto Kevin, moved the tip of his cock against the crack of Kevin's tight arse. Kevin's hand reached down between them and holding Martin's length, guided it to his hole.
"Hurt me Martin."
Martin didn't want to hurt him. He didn't know how it would hurt. Kevin pulled Martin to him and Martin felt his cock enter Kevin's tightness. Kevin pulled Martin harder and Martin saw him clench up and then breathe out, trying to relax. He pulled on him again, but this time it was Martin who had to pull back a bit as Kevin's tight ring dragged his foreskin back more than he could bear. Then in again, slightly easier. In again, and again. Kevin's eyes were filling with tears below him, but he couldn't stop now. He rammed hard into Kevin's arse burying his five inches deep inside him. Kevin grunted, as though he had been thumped in the stomach and then Martin felt the warm spurts of Kevin's semen as his cock spasmed, pumping spunk over his stomach and heaving chest. It was too much. Martin knew it was supposed to last longer than this, but suddenly, he felt the pulsating flow of his ejaculation as he thrust desperately against Kevin wanting to push his whole body inside. Holding tight to Martin's buttocks, Kevin crushed him to him as though trying to squeeze every last drop from him. Martin lay down on him, their bodies slithering together in the sticky lubricant of Kevin's seed. They kissed, they bit at each other with gentleness and tenderness.
Martin rolled over and they lay side by side, torsos rising and falling as their bodies, hot like the coals in a sauna, recovered in the dry heat of the airing cupboard.
"I'm sorry" Martin whispered, gazing at the slats of the shelf above them.
"Sorry nothing. You were beautiful - you made me cum and I didn't even touch myself"
"I meant for hurting you"
"I knew it would... it said it would... it was the best hurt."
"What said it would?"
"A book I read about... making love with another boy"
Suddenly Martin felt so proud, of himself and of Kevin. That was what they had done. They had made love. He loved Kevin and Kevin loved him and they made love. Not like in the bogs with Jonathan, or the other boys. Kevin and him, it was different. Martin reached down and held Kevin's hand.
"We could stay here all night.. like this" he said, raising himself up to lean on his elbow and and look at Kevin's semi erect cock hanging relaxed but still beautiful over his balls. Kevin combed Martin's hair with his fingers.
"We can't, we have to go back."
"In a minute" Martin replied, and they lay together listening to the sounds of each others breathing.
"Come on - we have to go." Kevin pushed Martin gently from the slatted shelf and set to replacing all that had been moved as Martin pulled on his pyjama bottoms. Kevin turned and Martin hugged his naked body tightly, burying his nose in Kevin's hair, savouring the perfume and texture. Kevin pulled away and put on his own pyjamas and them reaching down for the white light switch fitting, pushed the door open and remounted the device in the hinge.
Both boys then set off back to green dorm in silence, retreading their steps of earlier without incident. Kevin signalled that he was going to the toilets at the end of the landing, and Martin headed back to his bed. He pulled the sheet back and climbed in. The bed felt cooler and Martin pulled the sheet over himself. A moment later, he heard Kevin return and then a warm kiss on the back of his neck. Kevin lifted the sheets and climbed in the bed, cuddling up behind Martin pushing one arm under Martin's head and draping the other over his body, pulling the two boys close together. Martin, filled with a happiness he had never imagined could exist quickly fell asleep in the embrace of his new love. Kevin, who always lay awake for a long time before drifting off to sleep, breathed deeply and contentedly, thinking of what had happened and enjoying the warm dampness between the cheeks of his newly tried bottom. Soon he too fell to sleep as his and Martin's bodies settled on a single gentle rhythm.
Martin awoke to the ever beaming voice of Mr King, their house master.
"Good morning green dorm. Time to rise."
Martin panicked as he remembered how he and Kevin had fallen asleep. He turned in the bed, but Kevin was no longer there. He was in his own bed, awake and looking at Martin with his beautiful smile. Silently he mouthed the words "I love you." at Martin who smiled back, happy to be starting what felt like the first real day of his life.
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