"Fucking pigs!" I exclaimed to Daz and the gang the following day as we prepared to go into assembly. I was recounting the police raid on our house the night before to an assembled crowd of mates. "They smashed the front door down, turned my room upside down, and then just pissed off without even clearing up!"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Adrian pretending not to listen as we ignored each other. I feared this double life would get boring real quickly. As our eyes met �accidentally' he turned away, unable to look at me.

"They had no fucking right to. I'm sure there must be a law about searching private property like that."

"I mean," Daz said, "Surely they realise that nobody would keep stolen gear in their own fucking house?"

"They weren't looking for anything in particular," I theorised. "I think it must have just been a warning."

The rest of the week went by without much incident. Adrian and I talked about meeting up over the weekend to hang out and make out which sounded good. We would go and see a film - Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas was looking particularly attractive at the cinema - and then wonder over to Pizza Hut at White City for a bite to eat afterwards before hitting the bowling lanes.

Our plans began to fall apart on Friday when Daz came up to me in Science as we mucked about during a practical experiment to measure the energy in a matchstick or something. "We still on for the Chorlton job tonight?" he asked.

I was dithering. I really wanted to spend the evening with Adrian, and it had been bloody scary being handcuffed and held as the pigs searched my house, but I had also vowed to buy Adrian some really nice stuff for Christmas and needed the money for that and some dating type stuff like the cinema. I looked at my boyfriend standing at the bench next to me, his eyes like daggers.

"For fuck's sake, you don't need this faggot's approval," Daz spat at me.� "There's a party at Chantal's tonight; all the girls will be there. We'll go straight from there."

I wanted to floor him, but thought it might be a bit inappropriate in class.� "I dunno Daz, the cops were in my house on Sunday. I don't want that again."

"True enough. Fucking pigs, thinking they're it." I looked at Adrian again, knowing that I was about to let him down.

"Are you in then? Or are you a pussy? Maybe you'd rather spend the weekend with nerd of the century here?" Daz mocked.

I breathed in and closed my eyes. "Sure, I'm in" I said, sensing Adrian turning away from me as Daz snorted with laughter. Adrian didn't say another word throughout the entire double period and stormed out afterwards.

I felt like crap at the party. Everyone was getting drunker and drunker almost by the minute, and the idea of pouring can after can down my throat was pretty attractive right about then. I couldn't get Adrian off my mind, thinking about how I had let him down.

At about one in the morning as teenage couples disappeared to various parts of Weaste to shag each other Daz finally found me and we walked up towards Claremont to look for a car. He had been drinking too, although he was one of those who seemed to be able to drink all day and night without it affecting him. Besides, I had seen him less sober and he was perfectly safe behind the wheel then. We found a Rover 214 and were inside it within fifteen seconds, with the engine going within another ten. We had already crossed the canal on Trafford Road and were headed down Seymour Grove towards the target when the car suddenly started wondering across the road.

We pulled up in the lane at the back of the house and he killed the engine before diving into his pocket and fishing around for a moment.

Finally, he pulled out a little plastic resealable bag, opened it, and shook a little pill out.

We slipped through a gap in the back garden fence and approached the house, and I picked up a rock as we went. The back door was one of those ones with loads of little panes of glass and an eye-level handle. The glass went with one sharp tap of the rock, my hand went inside to unlock the door, and I slowly pulled the handle down.

"Fuck, I thought you said this place wasn't alarmed!" I shouted as we stood, momentarily stunned.

"It wasn't! Oh fuck!" We ran back towards the car and restarted the engine, tearing down the lane the moment it fired. "It's not my fault!" he wailed as we bombed down the lane.

We pulled out into the main road seconds later - right in front of a patrol car.

For a drunk fifteen year old on speed without a driving licence Darren gave it his best shot, I'm sure. For about ten minutes he led the police car on a fairly rapid but comprehensive tour of south central Manchester: first down to Princess Road and then out towards the airport before pulling off the Parkway at Northenden and heading back up Palatine Road towards the centre. We had just crossed back over Princess Road and were heading back into Chorlton when he lost control on a patch of black ice right in front of the gates to Southern Cemetery, span, and wrapped the car around a lamppost. He scarpered into the trees around the graveyard before I even knew what was happening.

The car body had telescoped and I couldn't open the passenger door, so I had to crawl through the airbags and across the central console and get out through the driver's side. I had made about five yards when a giant pair of hands grabbed me from behind and rugby-tackled me to the ground, and a very heavy knee pinned me there. I had thought the words "You're nicked" were only ever used on TV, but when they hit my ears the only thought that crossed my mind was not that I had lost my freedom, but that I had lost Adrian.

For what it's worth, I wouldn't recommend travelling in the prisoners' cage in the back of a police Transit to anyone. Funnily enough, Ricky had said exactly the same thing when he got nicked for doing pretty much the same sort of thing as me.

As I sat scared rigid in the cell at the station in the early hours of that fateful December morning while the pigs tried to contact Dad, Adrian's words about destiny rang in my ears. I had been too weak to challenge it, and was going to end up just like my brother, and indeed our father before us. At about four in the morning I cried myself to sleep desperate to hold onto Adrian again so that he could tell me I could make something of my life.

I was woken up shortly before eight by the sound of voices outside my cell door. I turned and faced the wall just as the door opened and I saw a uniform appear in the doorway. I didn't want to face any of the bastards just yet.

The footsteps approached the bed and I felt whoever it was sit down on the edge behind me, and place a hand on my shoulder.

I sat up bolt upright and turned to face him. Sure enough, there in the stripes of a Police Superintendent, was my boyfriend's father. The man I looked up to as a caring dad, kind husband, and role model. The man I had quietly admired since the day I met him was a pig.

"You never asked. Adrian figured that it probably wasn't something to brag about in Hope High, so we just told people I'm a civil servant. It isn't untrue. They call me the swap cop around here."

I laughed. "Adrian was right again, as always. I guess you know all about me now, don't you?"

"The two officers who arrested you last night ran a check. You don't have any previous record, and once last night's report goes missing you still won't have one."

"My shift finishes in about five minutes. Wait here and I'll come back and get you. We'll talk then, OK?"

He went out through the door, winking as he left. He was in street clothes again when he came back a few minutes later and walked me right out of the cell area and out to his Prelude in the car park.

We moved out of the car park and headed up towards the Mancunian Way. We followed it out through Salford, then moved over to the East Lancs and finally headed out into the country lanes on the other side of Leigh. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say, but I was definitely getting the silent treatment. After twenty five minutes or so of silence, Paddy started to speak. "Let's see what high speed driving is really like."

It was a clear, crisp morning, and there was ice about, but that didn't seem to faze him. As he built up speed, getting faster and faster, sliding now and again on the ice and braking later and later on those twisty lanes, I got more and more scared until eventually I ran out of balls. "Please, can you slow down a bit?" I squeaked.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," he replied calmly as he aimed the Honda at a stone wall and accelerated towards it.

"Ah! OK." He slowed down and pulled over onto the grass verge, killed the engine, and turned and looked at me. "The two constables who chased you last night thought you were going to kill yourselves if you didn't kill someone else first."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, tears streaming from my eyes. I had never been so scared in my life as just now, so I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for the cops last night, looking out for pedestrians as well.

"Suppose the chase car had crashed badly? You'd be a cop killer. Supposing it had been me? How could you have looked Adrian in the eye?"

"I couldn't," I replied, as Adrian's description of La Forza del Destino came back to haunt me: "It's about two lovers forced to live their lives apart after one kills the other's father by accident."

"I don't know what I was thinking. I deserve to be locked up, and I'll understand if you never want me to see Adrian again. I'm sorry."

Paddy pressed the cigarette lighter, opened the door and reached for his briefcase in the back, pulling out a sheaf of papers. "This is all three copies of your triplicate arrest report." he said. "If you promise me right now that you will never break the law again I will set these on fire and you will have a second chance. I won't tell Lily or Adrian about what happened, and no-one else will ever know. But I will keep an eye on you for the rest of the time I am here and if you so much as even contemplate stepping out of line again I will hunt you to the ends of the earth and make you sorry you were ever born. Is that clear?"

"I love my son, and I desperately want to see him happy. I have never seen that since we moved here apart from when he's with you, when he seems to hold all the happiness of the world in his hands. I'm not about to throw all that away, so I would like you to continue doing whatever it is you do to make him happy. I will treat you like a member of the family as long as you do that, and it means that I'll stick up for you as much as I need to. You'll have no trouble from the police over last night, I promise. But if you let me down, God alone can help you."

He picked up the lighter and held it to the papers until they were blazing, before dropping them into the road and watching them turn to ashes. I got out of the car and watched too.

"Thanks," I said, teary-eyed, and he pulled me into a huge hug. Now I knew where Adrian got it from.

As we headed back towards Salford at legal speeds he asked me to pick out a tape from the glove box. I fished around until I found one of La Forza. It was obviously Adrian's, for the label was in his writing. I put it in.

"That's one of Adrian's favourites," Paddy remarked. "He can be quite a romantic at times."

"You know they had to re-write it?" he continued. "Audiences in Russia didn't like the original ending."

"Shit shit shit" I suddenly thought, as I recalled the time Adrian described it to me: "He kills himself".

"Well, I was in bed until fairly late because I'm working nights this week, but he seemed to be. He was in his room all evening and didn't come out, but there's nothing particularly unusual about that. Why?"

"Is just that..." My voice trailed off. I didn't know how to articulate what was running through my mind.

"Well, we kinda had a fight yesterday. He was expecting me to hang out with him but then he found out what I was going to be doing with my other friends, you know..."

"He stormed off and we didn't speak again. I think he's really angry with me: our friendship was just getting off the ground and I threw it in his face. I'm worried he might do something stupid."

"He's told me often enough that he couldn't cope without me. What if he thinks he's lost me?"

Paddy obviously knew exactly what I was talking about. We had just shot past a phone booth and he brought the Honda screeching to a halt, swung it round, and drove back up to it. We both leapt out and went up to it, fumbling for change.

"Damn I wish I had one of those portable phones," he hissed as he dropped a load of coins. I picked up a ten pence piece and gave it to him so he could dial the number. We waited an age before he hung up.

We ran back to the car and made tracks straight back to their house. It was empty. I was in tears again by this stage.

"There's a note here Nick!" he called from the kitchen. "You know where Hope Hospital is?"

We tore up to the hospital like a bat out of hell, and ran to A&E as soon as we arrived. Lily was sitting on a bench in the waiting area when we eventually found our way there through the maze of corridors from the car park.

"Aiyeeaah, I'm so scared," she howled as Paddy ran up and embraced her. She looked at me and then Paddy questioningly.

"Long story, it's not important right now," he replied quickly. "What happened?"

"I found him this morning - it looks like an overdose. He's in emergency endoscopy now."

We sat and waited all morning until the doctor came out and introduced himself and asked Paddy and Lily to follow him down the corridor. Paddy put his arm around me and gave me a fatherly squeeze before going; I then sat back down in the waiting area like a Christmas pudding with no idea of what condition my friend was in.

In the middle of the afternoon, I was allowed in to the ward where he had been admitted. He was fast asleep, obviously sedated, and once again looked so vulnerable, small, and huggable. He wasn't out of the woods yet, but the signs were good. Paddy had been up all night at work of course and was half asleep on his feet by then, so I told them both to go home and get some rest, and that I'd call if anything changed.

When they had gone I pulled up a chair to the side of the bed, placed Adrian's hand in mine as I kissed his cheek, and fell asleep too.

When I woke up the lights had been turned out and the ward was silent. A small hand was squeezing mine and I looked up at Adrian. Tears were coming down his face.

"The nurse said you've been here all day," he croaked, his throat still sore from the scope.

"Yesterday, it was me following the path I've been walking all my life, and it led into a minefield. That me is gone, thanks to your Dad."

"I'll tell you what happened when you're outta here. Today, it's me making a choice about my future. The people I care about, the person I want to be, I know now. Yesterday I wasn't sure. But today, I know where my future is, who my future is."

I squeezed his hand back. "From the day I found you in the park and took you home it was only ever you. It just took me until now to really accept it. There's some other stuff I need to sort out, but I'm still in it for the long haul if you are."

"I'm gonna call your parents and tell them you're awake, OK? Then you're gonna get some rest so that we can walk into school together on Monday, openly acknowledge each other, and be each other's best friend. OK?"

"No, but we'll never grow unless we start to commit to being more open with others� and proud of each other. I love you, Adrian, and although I'm not gonna shout it from the rooftops I'm not gonna hide it either."

I won't pretend the next six months were easy on any of us. I never spoke to Daz again, but it was no great loss. Once people at school realised that Adrian and I were friends it seemed to polarise opinions. Those who I had looked down upon as wimpish and insignificant slowly became friends, while those in the cool crowd stopped talking. A small handful of guys worked out that we were more than just friends, and seemed delighted for us.

We got teased, of course, and everyone whispered behind our backs, but as long as I could rest my head on Adrian's chest, or he on mine, I didn't care. I practically moved in with the Jenkins family for the two years they were in Salford on Paddy's exchange, and when they had to leave Adrian stayed behind on his own to finish his A levels. We both came out to his parents over that Christmas, as we finally all started to talk about the events of that Friday night and although they were a bit shocked at first, with hindsight I don't think either of them were all that surprised. They were caring and supportive though - to both of us.

With financial support from his parents Adrian rented one of the apartments across the road from the townhouse after they moved back to Hong Kong, and I moved in with their blessing. I got a job sorting post on the early morning shift in one of the offices that sprung up on the Quays and with a lot of effort and hard work eventually moved on to supervisor level. With his parents taking care of the rent and me earning a relatively decent wage we had a comfortable enough life while Adrian went through medical school and I did some night classes to try and get the GCSEs I would have passed had I met and fallen in love with Adrian three years earlier.

When I was fifteen, I knew everything. At twenty five, I realise I knew nothing then. It has now been nearly ten years since we met, and we're still each other's best friend and lover. And boy did I learn to love his cock, eventually. Adrian is now a junior house officer at Hope Hospital, and we've bought a little apartment on a new development right across the road from our old school to make it easier for him to get to the hospital when he worked shifts. He does his rounds in A&E and sees our old school acquaintances in there from time to time either drunk or recovering from a brawl, but is professional enough to treat them and send them on their way. None of them recognise him.

I got the GCSEs I needed to build a career of my own, and with plenty of support from both Adrian and his father I start training as a constable in the Greater Manchester Police with the next intake.

Every day I look at Adrian and I'm proud of what he has achieved, and he tells me the same thing more often than not too. We constantly remind each other that we're only as good - or as bad - as the decisions and choices we make, and that if we really want something - even something as intangible as respect - anything is possible.

We reaffirm our love for each other every day. Most of the time we do it face to face in our favourite hugging position, cocks grinding against each other, but occasionally we can't be together because of work or something. When we're apart we have our mobile phones permanently switched on with personalised ring tones assigned to each other's number. Indeed, whenever I hear the familiar strains of the overture to Verdi's La Forza ring out in glorious Nokia polyphony I know that it's not just my entire world, it's my destiny calling.

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The Force of Destiny

by Zambezi

Chapter Five