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Finding Nico

by c m

Chapter 3

When I come to, it's to the sound of someone knocking on my door.

'Come in,' I say sleepily.

The door opens and I'm half aware that someone's there carrying a tray. And there's a smell of coffee. I sit up.

'Your morning coffee tray, sir.'

'Oh, hi Jack…and what's with the 'sir'?'

'Force of habit. I hope you slept well.'

'Like a log. And I need that coffee.'

'I take it you had a good evening?'

'Yes…in so many ways. But I'm not sure that final drink was a good idea.'

Jack laughs.

'And you seem to have found some friends.'

'Yes…Josh and Alex are great.'

'Excellent. I'm delighted to hear it. Well, have a good day.'

'You too.'

He lets himself out of the room, and I pad across to where he's left the tray on the little table. I've just poured myself a cup when there's another knock on the door. I make my way across to it and look through the spyhole. It's Josh. My heart does a little leap of joy.

I'm still naked, but it's time for the new, brave Nico. I open the door a crack, hiding my body behind it.

'Hi Josh…sorry, but I don't wear anything in bed.'

'Me either. Can I come in?'

Well, let's face it, I haven't got anything he hasn't seen yesterday in the changing room. I open the door and beckon him inside, before going to the bathroom and pulling on the robe hanging on the back of the door.

'Nice view… and no need to get dressed on my account,' he says with a smile.

'Yes there is. You have a…certain effect on me.'

He smiles. 'Ooh. I'm flattered.'

'How can I help?'

'Now there's an interesting question, but all I was going to ask is what time will you be having breakfast?'

'Family agreed to meet up at 9.30'

'OK. Cool. I'm about to have breakfast now, but wanna meet up afterwards and go to the beach?'

'Love to.'

'Cool. Shall I wait for you downstairs?'

'Sure, or I can come and knock on your door when we've finished breakfast.'

'OK…if I'm not downstairs, come and knock me up.'

'Will do.'

'And…now we're both fully sober, I hope you're OK with us having kissed last night?'

New brave Nico time

'More than OK, Josh. In fact…'

I go over to him and plant a kiss on his lips. His face splits in a huge smile. He kisses me back.

'Mmm, thank you, a perfect start to my day…oh…and I told Alex about you being gay. He'd kind of guessed. From the way we were looking at each other. He's pleased for me – for both of us. So no need to act any differently in front of him. See you later.'

'That's great. And yes, see you later.'

At breakfast, Jules keeps looking at me.

'Something up, sis?'

She gives me the little secret sign we have when we don't want to say anything in front of Mum and Dad. I nod.

'No, nothing,' she says, 'you just seem in a good mood today.'

'A good night's sleep and the promise of a nice day ahead – is all.'

'Pleased to hear it,' says my mother, 'so, do you children have any plans for today?'

'I thought I might go the beach this morning – maybe swim out to the diving platform. I think that's what Josh is planning to do as well.'

'And you, Jules?'

'I might go to the beach as well. Or maybe just laze by the pool. I've got rather a good book that I'm in the middle of.'

'Well, you're both old enough to do your own thing. Shall we agree to meet up for dinner tonight? Say…at 7 in the bar like last night?'

'Sure,' I say

Jules nods.

'Excellent. Well, if we're all done with breakfast, we'll see you later then.'

We make our way out of the dining room. Breakfast has been every bit as good – and comprehensive – as dinner had been the previous night, and I'm feeling not just restored, but full.

I take a look in the lounge, but Josh isn't there. Our parents have gone on ahead in the lift, so Jules and I take the stairs.

'So…never mind all that bollocks about a good night's sleep…what's making you so cheerful?' asks Jules

'God, I can't hide anything from you, can I?'

'That's what being twins does for you.'

'OK, then…if you're so all-knowing, you tell me what's making me happy.'

'I would hazard a guess that you and a certain curly-haired boy have discovered that you'd like to be more than just friends?'

'And what makes you think that?'

'He's gay. You're gay. You're both single. You're both quite good-looking. You're both horny little beasts….'


'Oh, come on, everyone knows what teenage boys are like…and Alex says that Josh was in your room for a while after you came upstairs last night.'

'God, it's like living with MI5…'

'So, am I right?'


'And did you have sex?'


'Well, did you?'

'First, I wouldn't tell you even if we did. Second, he was only in my room for about five minutes, third…'

'Five minutes is more than enough from what I've heard about how long sex lasts with boys….'

'JULES!, we didn't have sex. But he did kiss me.'


'Yes. And I kissed him back.'

'Well good for you, bro.'

'He's really nice, Jules.'

'Holiday romance on the cards then?'

'Maybe. I hope so. I don't know. But…it would be nice. And how about you and Alex while we're on the subject of holiday romances?'

'Alex is very nice too.'

'Goodnight kiss maybe?'


'And is he a good kisser?'

'Not telling.'

'Aww, come on…'

'No. Is Josh a good kisser?'

'Why should I tell you about Josh if you won't tell me about Alex?'

'Because it's different.'


'It just is. It's like sex. If you and Josh…do it…there aren't any consequences. First, you can't get pregnant; second, it doesn't seem to matter if a boy is a virgin or not. It's different for girls.'

'It matters a lot to me who I lose my virginity to. If I ever do.'

'OK. I accept that. But if a girl sleeps around, she's a slut, if I boy does it, it's OK. Especially if it's boys with boys it seems to me.'

'It's not OK with me, sis.'

'OK, well, maybe you're different. But if Josh had slept around, would you still be keen on sleeping with him?'

'He hasn't'.

'OK, but if he had….?'

'I don't know. But I think I'd know if I was just going to be another notch on someone's bedpost. And if I was, then no, I wouldn't be interested. Especially not for my first time. That's almost happened to me before.'

'Really? Who?'

'Doesn't matter, but I told him to fuck off.'

'OK. I'm impressed. All I'm trying to say is that having sex with a boy - especially for the first time - feels like it would be a much bigger step for me than it would be for you.'

I stop and think about that. Maybe she's right.

'OK. But if…and I say IF Josh and I decide to go to bed together, we wouldn't necessarily have to go all the way.'

'Exactly. But if I went to bed with Alex, do you think he'd be happy to settle for not going all the way with me?'

'You could give him a bj without going to bed with him.'

'Oh, thanks a lot…and what do I get out of that? You're gay; having a guy's cock in your mouth is probably rather more attractive to you than it is to me right now.'

I look at her and I start to laugh…and then she's laughing too.

'Can you believe that we're having this conversation?' I say.

'I know…look…I'm glad you two have found each other and I hope it all works out the way you both want – whatever that is, sex or no sex.'

'Thank you.'

By now we've reached the door of her room. As she goes inside, she turns to me.

'But I'm betting on sex…a whole load of it.'

'Why you…'

But she's shut the door in my face. And I can hear her laughing.

I make my way up to the second floor. I'm still thinking about what she's said when I see Josh coming out of his room.

'There you are,' he says, 'I wondered what had happened to you.'

'Sorry, sis and I got talking.'

'What about?'

'Having sex.'

'What? You and your sister are having sex??'

'No, dummy, just about sex in general…how it's different for boys and girls.'

'Oh, right. Thank heavens for that. Sounds fascinating…now, are we going to the beach?'

'Yes…sure…let me just pick up a few things from my room. Is Alex coming?'

'Any moment I think – judging from the sounds coming from the bathroom as I left. If you know what I mean.'

'What? OH! Too much information….'

Josh just laughs. We both walk the few steps to my room and I open the door.

'Well,' says Josh, 'when you share a room, you sometimes need to find a bit of privacy to…take care of business.'

'Of course. Having my own room, I didn't think about that. Is that what you do too, then…use the bathroom?'

'Sometimes, but mostly I do it in bed. I just try to be as quiet as possible. At least the beds here don't creak. And if Alex knows what I'm doing, he doesn't say anything. Or he hasn't so far. Not that either of us would be particularly fussed anyway.'

He looks at me.

'And that's certainly what I did last night. Let me be honest, Nico - when I left you, I was feeling horny as hell…to the point where I probably wouldn't have cared who knew what I was doing – in bed, the bathroom…or anywhere else.' He pauses. 'Sorry – I hope you're OK with me telling you how you made me feel.'

'It's fine. It was the same for me, Josh. Except I just lay on my nice big bed and did the necessary.'

'Lucky you.'

I shut the door behind us.

New brave Nico time

'Look Josh…I was thinking about last night…'


'And you were right that we were both a bit pissed, and I'm glad we didn't rush things but…that kiss was amazing….and we only have a few days…and I really, really like you…and we've just confessed to jacking off thinking about each other…so I wondered…tonight…I mean…and only if you wanted to…could we…oh, god…that is…'

'Go a bit further?'


'You sure?'

'Absolutely bloody certain.'

'I'd really like that too.'

Stay brave Nico

'And I was also thinking…I mean Alex knows about us…and your parents know you're gay…and your room is only just across the corridor…and this bed is huge…might you…could you maybe…spend the night in here with me?'

'Wow…you really have been thinking, haven't you?'

'Sorry. Am I going too fast? God…I'm being too forward aren't I?'

'WHAT? Don't be so bloody stupid. You're only saying what I've been thinking about trying to find a way to say all bloody night.'

'You mean that?'

'Of course I mean it…'

And he wraps his arms around me and puts his lips against mine and then his tongue is in my mouth and we're kissing. As we pull each other closer, I feel his groin against mine. He's as hard as I am.

'I want you so much, Nico.'

'I want you too.'


'I don't think I can wait until tonight….'

He starts to walk me back towards the bed, still kissing me.

Then there's a tap on the door.

'Fuck…I don't believe it…'

I disentangle myself from him.

'Who is it?'

'It's Alex. Are you two coming?'

Josh starts to giggle. 'I'm certainly bloody close,' he whispers.

And that sets me off.

'Hold on, Alex, I'll be right there.'

I straighten my clothing and open the door.

Alex looks at us. I guess we must both look a little flushed.

'God, sorry…did I interrupt something…?'

'No, it's OK,' says Josh, 'we were just comparing our sleeping arrangements…him in this bloody great big bed on his own, and you and me sharing a room.'

Alex looks from one of us to the other.


'Yes, sure, I'm just picking up a few things,' I say.

I grab a towel, and put sunscreen and sunglasses in a pouch I can strap around my waist.

'I think I'll change into my swimmers here,' I say.

'That's not a bad idea. We'll go and do the same. See you outside in 5?'


They leave, and I quickly strip off my shorts and briefs. My erection has subsided, thank heavens, so there's no awkward bulge in my swimmers. I put my shorts back on over the top and make my way to the lift. Just as it arrives, Josh and Alex emerge from their room and we take the lift down to the ground floor together.

'Jules not coming?' asks Alex.

'No, she's going to sit by the pool. If you'd rather join her, I'm sure we'd be happy to go to the beach on our own.'

'I'll catch up with her later. I quite fancy a swim in the sea.'

The main part of the beach is about half a mile away in the direction of the local town, and that's where it's busiest. The bit we join is almost directly in front of the hotel, and while it's scarcely deserted, there's plenty of room for us to find a place to sit without being surrounded by lots of other visitors enjoying the sun.

The diving platform is about halfway between us and the busy part of the beach, so having left our things in a neat pile underneath the towels that we spread out on the sand, we walk along the beach at the tideline, enjoying the feel of the water beneath our feet and the sensation of the sand being sucked out from around our toes as the waves recede after breaking. I say waves, they're scarcely more than ripples – certainly nothing that you could ever contemplate using to surf on, for instance. It's also a very still day with only a breath of breeze – so the man hiring the windsurfers is sitting there looking glumly at his, currently unused, stock.

Once we get within a hundred yards of the platform, I reckon it's time to brave the sea and swim out to it from where we are.

'Right…time to get wet,' I say.

The only way to do this is to steel your nerves and plunge in. The sea, even in August, is not very warm – until you get used to it. Josh follows my lead and we both throw ourselves into the clear, greeny-blue water. It's a shock – but a few brisk swimming strokes and we're OK.

'Fuck, it's not very warm,' says Josh.

'OK once you're in,' I say, 'where's Alex?'

Alex, it turns out, is slowly edging his way into the water, hands above his head, making little squeaking noises as the water slowly inches up his thighs. At the point at which the water reaches his scrotum, he yelps.

Josh looks at me. I look at him. We nod, and without a word, but with the same thought in mind, we run towards him. He sees us coming.

'Oh no, no, no….'

'Oh yes, yes, yes…' says Josh.

We each grab an arm and pull him under. He comes up spluttering.

'You total, utter bastards. It's fucking freezing.'

'You'll be grateful once we get going.'

We swim out to the platform. Josh is quite a decent swimmer, but slower than me. Alex prefers to use breaststroke, so he lags a little way behind us. I hoist myself up onto the deck and then give Josh my hand to help pull him up. Alex arrives a minute or so later, and we both help haul him in. His wet swimming trunks cling to his body, leaving little to the imagination. He is undoubtedly a big boy, and given that the sea has probably made things shrink a bit - if my own anatomy is anything to go by - I suspect that Jules is in for a bit of a surprise - if things ever progress that far.

We do some diving – at which both of them are better than me – and then just lay back in the sun to get warm. As we're lying there, Alex says, out of the blue,

'So, are you two boys planning on getting it together with each other this week?'

'Are you planning on getting it together with my sister?' I say, evenly, by way of reply.

'God yes…if she'd let me. I mean she's a wow. Right up my street. Gorgeous, intelligent – I can't believe she hasn't got a boyfriend.'

'Who says she hasn't?' I ask

'God, she hasn't, has she?'

'Have you asked her?'

'No…I mean…when she was happy to let me give her a goodnight kiss, I assumed…'

'Ah. Six foot five of rugby-playing muscle.'

'What? Her boyfriend? Shit.'

I laugh.

'I'm joshing with you, Alex. She doesn't have a regular boyfriend. She kind of…plays the field…keeps them all interested…like she's doing with you. And the more the boy thinks he's in charge, the more it turns out that he isn't. She's left many a crash and burn in her wake. Sometimes I even wonder if she really likes men….'

'You mean…she's a lesbian?'

'No…hardly - I'm just joking. It's just I thought your...assumption…about us was a bit blunt.'

'God, sorry. I didn't mean to…sorry, it's just my way...I didn't mean to offend you. Honest.'

'Apology accepted. And maybe you're not so far off the mark.' I look at Josh who just smiles. 'I like Josh a lot. And actually – but don't tell him this - I sort of fancy the pants off him. Though I've no idea if he feels the same way about me.'


'I find Nick utterly repulsive and I wouldn't want him within ten yards of me – as for the idea of kissing him - never mind anything else - God….'

'WHAT?...ohhh…you're joshing with me as well. OK. Fair enough. I deserve it.'

'Hey – the truth is, I like Nico a lot too. And - don't tell him this - I think he's pretty sexy. Very sexy in fact.' He smiles at me. 'And actually, Alex, I need to talk to you anyway, so it might as well be here.'

He pauses.

'To answer your question, getting it together with each other is something Nico and I want to explore. In fact, we've already discussed spending tonight together in his room…you know…see what happens, see if we still feel the same way about each other. Which also, incidentally, means that you'll be able to wank in peace for a change. I'm telling you this because if I'm not in our room, and should my parents ask – not that I think they'd bat an eyelid, and it's none of their business anyway - I'd prefer it if you didn't tell them where I was. I need to do that.'

'Wow. Of course, no problem. And look, I really hope it all works out.' He turns to me. 'And I'm sorry if I offended you. Josh is my best friend in all the world, and you clearly make him happy, Nick, based on the fact that the idiot has barely stopped talking about you since you met. And he deserves someone nice, and he deserves some fun and I hope that's what you can both give each other.'

'Well thank you, Alex. Is a gay boy allowed to give you a hug?'

'Which one?' he says with a grin.

And we both put our arms around him. Then, with him firmly enclosed between us, Josh and I share a look and then roll off the platform with him still between us.

'Fuck,' says Alex as he surfaces, 'that's the second time you've done that to me today. And just as I was getting warm, too….'

'OK, time to swim back and then we can all warm up again in the sun.'

We opt to swim all the way back. Josh and I both do breaststroke to keep Alex company. The tide is with us, which helps, and we soon find ourselves back at our towels. As we dry off, I can see Josh looking me up and down.

'Looks like you need some sunscreen, Nico. Want me to do your back?'

'Thanks...that would be kind.'

I roll onto my front and put my head on my folded arms. I feel the cool touch of a blob of sunscreen, and then Josh's hands are slowly massaging it into my skin from my neck down to just inside the rim of my swimmers.

'Might as well do your legs while I'm here.'

And he does; his fingers feel wonderful as they work their way over my skin. The only problem is that I can feel myself getting aroused.

'OK, all done. You can do your own front.'

'Yes…but not right now,' I say.


And he bursts out laughing.

A couple of minutes later, order has been restored in my groin and I sit up and finish the job.

'Any for you?'

'I think we're probably tanned enough not to need it.'

'OK. But you do need to look after your skin.'

'Yeah…you're probably right. OK…maybe a little.'

It's his turn to lie down and my turn to run my hands all over the warm, soft flesh of his back and then down the firm muscles of his legs. I find it arousing - all over again - and shift position to try and make the fact as unobtrusive as possible.

'All done,' I say, 'same for you Alex?'

'Well, if you don't mind, that would be great.'

I notice that Josh hasn't turned over yet. I assume he has the same problem I had. I smile to myself. It's good we seem to arouse each other in the same ways. I squirt some cream onto Alex's back and start to rub it in.

' have lovely soft hands,' he says.

'And you have great skin…do you have Mediterranean blood in you?'

'Yes. My father's Italian.'

'Guess that explains it. And if it's any encouragement, sis has a bit of a thing for Italians.'

'Then I shall give her every encouragement to explore her 'thing'…'

I laugh, then give him a little slap on the back.

'All done.'

'Thanks, Nick…much nicer than when Josh does it.'

'My pleasure.'

We lie there soaking up the sun for maybe half an hour. Then Alex announces that he's going to head back to the hotel to see if Jules is still by the pool. It's getting on for lunchtime, and I ask Josh what he normally does about lunch.

'Sometimes I get a bar-meal from the menu in the hotel, sometimes we wander up the beach and get a take-away from one of the stalls. And we went into town once – there's a nice Italian place that does pasta and pizza. Alex speaks Italian and they looked after us really well. Why…what do you fancy?'

'I'm still quite full from there somewhere we could just get a sandwich?'

'I think there's a Pret's in town. Feel up to a walk?'

'Why not?'

'We could either walk up the beach or along the Prom…'

'Let's walk up along the beach and back along the Prom.'

'Good idea.'

We stand up and I put my shorts on over my now-dry swimmers, and Josh does the same. We carry our shoes and each put a towel over a shoulder as we make our way along the beach. At first, we bump shoulders and try to trip one another up - as teenage boys do - before just settling into a steady progress. About halfway along, Josh reaches across and takes my hand in his.

'You OK if we hold hands?'

New brave Nico

'Kinda nervous, but sis says I have to get over that. And with you…'s nice.'

And that's how we make our way into town. And no-one bats an eyelid. Sis is right; I worry too much.

We find Pret a Manger without much difficulty. All the sandwiches look good, but I settle for a Chicken Club and Josh goes for a Chicken Avocado, and we also pick up a couple of bottles of water. Then I realise, to my embarrassment, that I haven't put any money in my bag.

'That's OK, Nico. This one's on me.'

We walk back along the Promenade. Having put our flip-flops on when we came off the beach, we have one hand free and this time I take the initiative and take hold of Josh's hand. We get one dirty look – from someone about our age – but nobody else seems remotely bothered. About halfway back there's a bench with a steel sunshade over it – a sort of street sculpture – and I suggest we sit down to eat our sandwiches underneath it.

'Good idea.'

We unwrap them and get stuck in. After a couple of mouthfuls. Josh holds his sandwich out towards my mouth.

'Have a try.'

I do. It's excellent. I return the gesture.

And the whole exchange leaves me tingling; this…feeding of each other…has a totally unexpected intimacy about it.

As we finish the sandwiches – and they're both very good – Josh turns to me.

'You know what, Nico. Just being with you…doing this ordinary thing like going to buy a sandwich…sharing them with each other…is so enjoyable. It's like…I don't have to DO anything to feel good being with you. I've never felt like this before.'

And he leans across and kisses me.

A kiss in public. And I realise I'm fine with that. In a way that I wouldn't have been even 48 hours ago. I give his hand a squeeze.

'I know…I feel the same, Josh. But I also know I was insane with lust when you kissed me in the bedroom before we came out…and if Alex hadn't knocked on the door…'

Josh laughs.

'Oh, me too, Nico, me too. I can't wait for us to…explore each other later. I was going to suggest going back to the hotel right now and not waiting for tonight…but I think the anticipation will make it all the more exciting.'

'Are you…sure about that?'

Our eyes meet.

'No…not really. Why…did you want to…?'

'I think I need a shower. I'm all sticky with salt and sweat. Maybe we could shower together and…see what happens…?'

We stand up, brush off the crumbs from our sandwiches, and put the wrappers in a nearby bin.

'Take your flip-flops off,' says Josh.


'Because you can't run in them. Come on…'

And with that, he's off. But I'm only a couple of seconds behind - and I've caught up with him and passed him inside little more than a hundred yards.

'Come on slowcoach….'

He laughs, and we race each other back to the hotel.

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