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Christmas at Sunnybanks

by c m

A Christmas diary

16th December

Hello. My name's Matthew. I'm sixteen and term has just finished at the school where I board. There's exactly nine days to go until Christmas, and I'm excited. We usually have Christmas at home, but this year we are meeting up with two of my uncles and aunts and three of my cousins for a family get-together at a hotel. The place we're staying is called Sunnybanks and from the details and pictures on the internet, it looks really nice. I'm going to have a share a room with my cousin James, but that's OK. We don't see much of each other but when I last saw him about a year ago, we got on really well. He's the same age as me. Except one thing's changed since I last saw him; I came out nine months ago. I know James knows this, but I have no idea how he feels about it. I guess the fact that he's still happy to share a room with me says he's fine with it. I hope so.

Mum and Dad have booked us in from the 22nd through to the 28th. James is arriving on the same day as me with his parents – my Uncle Peter and my Aunt Joanna – but my other cousins, Sarah and Emma won't be arriving until the following day. They're twins - and the daughters of my Uncle Marc and Aunt Harriet. They're seventeen. I've always got on very well with Emma in particular.

17th December

I spend the first day after I'm back from school doing nothing. I enjoy a lazy lie in, getting up at midday - Mum doesn't mind - and then catching up with some of my friends in the afternoon. Although I'm away at Public School during the term time, I'm lucky to have local friends at home – mostly because I play hockey at the same club as my Dad during the winter holidays and tennis at the local club during the summer. I'm quite sporty, and my best friend Alex and I are a useful doubles combo on court. He and I are a doubles combo in another way as well – but more of that later.

18th December

The next day I go into our local town to do my Christmas shopping. It's busy but I'm in no hurry, and I manage to find something nice for my parents and something fun for Alex. Mum's suggested that as I'll be sharing a room with James, I buy him something too.

19th December

Mum has to go out early. She's visiting my grandmother who lives about an hour and a half away. She won't be back until late afternoon. Alex comes around at about ten o'clock. I'm still in bed – which is fine, because Alex just takes his clothes off and joins me under the duvet. It's lovely to have his naked flesh against mine again after twelve weeks apart. He's not gay, but we've been jacking off with each other since we were thirteen; when I came out, he said that was fine by him, and he couldn't see why that should stop us from carrying on having fun together – if I still wanted to. And that was just fine by me too, because Alex is a quite a looker. Blond, blue-eyed and with perfect white teeth. He has a very good body too, with a fine fuzz of blond hair on his chest and his arms, and the faintest outline of a six-pack above the pubic hair that he keeps neatly trimmed. His bum is tight and well-defined. His legs are long and covered in the same pale blond hair as his arms. His cock, when soft as it is now, hangs down three and a half inches from his groin. I know this because erect he is exactly seven inches long. We measured each other. The mathematical precision of the two-to-one ratio satisfies the little OCD streak that runs through me.

And that body is now lying beside me in bed.

I reach down and find he's already getting hard. The touch of my hand finishes the job. I know how he likes to be jacked off. I pull his foreskin back as far as it will go, before grasping his shaft with my other hand and starting to stroke him. He sighs with pleasure.

'You are just the best at this.'

I let my hand drift over the sensitive head on each upstroke. He shivers at the sensation. It doesn't take long before his balls contract; this is followed by a ripple as his stomach muscles do the same. Then he's over the edge.

He sighs with satisfaction, and then takes hold of my own stiffy.

'Hmm…looks like you could use some help with that.'

His practised hands bring waves of pleasure, and it's not long until I, too, am enjoying the sensation of a shuddering climax.

'I can think of no better way to welcome in the Christmas holidays,' he says.

'Agreed.…but I suppose we better get dressed.'

'I suppose so.'

'I need a shower first…want to join me?'

'I certainly seem to be a little sticky.'

'Come on then…I'll get you a towel on the way.'

We both walk naked to the bathroom which is next door. I take a towel out of the linen cupboard on the way. Mine is already on the rail in the bathroom.

I watch as Alex showers. His blond hair goes a shade darker as the water hits it. He takes a squirt of shower gel from the bottle on the side, and runs his hands over his chest, stomach and groin, the gel turning to foam as it washes away all traces of his jizz. He pulls his foreskin back and forth as he washes inside it. He is very sexy; I wish he was gay. I find I'm getting hard again. He steps out of the shower and I throw him his towel. He dries his hair roughly and then smiles at me. As he walks past, I can smell the scent of the citrus and eucalyptus shower gel evaporating off his body.

Alex sits on the bathroom stool and watches me in turn as I shower. My erection is all too obvious.

'Hard again, I see,'

'Can't help it…you're too damn sexy. You sure you couldn't be gay?'

He laughs.

'Positive…but if I was then you'd be top of my boyfriend list…and would you like me to help you out with that thing again?'

'I'm never going to refuse an offer like that…you sure?'

'Yeah. Come here.'

I step across to the edge of the tray. Alex takes hold of me. He works me quickly and efficiently. I spray my seed against the shower wall.

'Thanks. Nobody does it as well as you.'

'My pleasure.'

We get dressed and head off over to his house. His parents have created a huge 'relaxation room' in what used to be the cellars underneath their house. It's got a table tennis table, a pool table and a big TV and sound system with a load of games and films. There's also a mini-gym and a sauna. Alex and I will probably use them all over the course of the day.

20th December

I have a history project to complete during the vacation. Part of me says leave it until after Christmas, but my OCD bit says get it out of the way. I spend most of the day on the internet doing research; I enjoy history so it's no great hardship, and I get a sense of satisfaction from having got a lot of what I need to do done. I reward myself with a visit to a site that has nothing to do with history, but enables me to find an entirely different kind of satisfaction with the help of my right hand.

21st December

As I'm going to be away for a week, I spend the day with Alex. I beat him at table tennis; he beats me at pool – and we beat each other off in the sauna.

Once I get home I pack my bag for our trip.

22nd December

It's all off to Sunnybanks. The drive takes just under two hours. The hotel is every bit as welcoming as the website suggested. The owner, a good-looking guy in his twenties, greets us and welcomes us to the hotel. He introduces himself as Charlie Douglas.

The room I'll be sharing with James is really nice; there are two big single beds in the bedroom area, a separate sitting room with a comfortable sofa, television and desk, and a bathroom that has a shower that looks big enough to fit four in with various shower heads and nozzles. Charlie says it's not as complicated as it looks. I tell him I looked the hotel up on line and that it described Sunnybanks as a 'family-owned and run' hotel. I ask him how long it's been in the family.

'Oh, about fifty years. My grandfather bought it originally, and then my mother ran it for a while – you may see her around, she still helps out - but I took over six years ago.'

'On your own?'

'No…originally with my partner, but things didn't work out and we separated. But I have someone else now so it's a joint effort again.'

'What's her name?…or his?' I add quickly.

He smiles. A lovely smile.

'It's a he; I'm gay…and he's called Luke.'

'I'm gay too,' I say.

'Then an extra welcome to the hotel,' he says. Then he adds, 'sorry, does that mean you'd prefer the beds to be put back together as a double?'

I laugh.

'No…I'm sharing with my cousin. He's not gay – or as far as I know he's not.'

'And he knows you're gay?'

'Yes…but I've not met him since I came out. That was only about nine months ago.'

'Do you mind my asking how old you are?'

'Sixteen…and a bit.'

He smiles again.

'So you came out at fifteen…that's when I came out too.'

'And when…how…did you meet Luke?'

I see a shadow flicker across his face.

'He was my first love. I met him when he came to stay at this hotel with his grandmother. I was sixteen…and a bit.'

'But I thought you said he had only recently become your partner?'

'Long story. Not all of it happy. But it turns out that my first love was, and is, my true love – and I couldn't be happier. Do you have a boyfriend?'

I shake my head.

'No…I haven't even…sorry, you don't need to know all that.'

He puts a hand on my shoulder.

'There's no rush. It will happen when it will happen. And better that it be right than it be soon. Trust me. Not that someone as good-looking as you will be single for long, I'm sure.'

I smile.


'I'll leave you to unpack.'

I decide to take the bed nearer the window. The views over the sea are spectacular.

James and his parents arrive about an hour later. I'm watching tele in the sitting room when the door opens and James comes in.

'Hey cuz!' he says, dropping his bag and coming over to me and giving me a hug, 'good to see you again.'

'You too,' I say.

'So this is our home for the next few days, huh?'

'Yup. It's really nice. I've taken the bed by the window – is that OK?'

'That's fine. Are they comfortable?'

He throws himself full length on the bed. 'Very nice…so, how's you?'

'I'm fine thanks, James, and you?'

'Yup, all good here. Grats on coming out, by the way.'

'Thanks. You're OK with it?'

'I'm fine with it, Matt.'

'Great…I hoped you would be…but there was part of me…'

'I understand, but no worries on that score. One of my best friends at school is gay.'

'How is school?'

James and I both go to private schools, where we both board. They are both quite well known - although minor - Public Schools, but it means we have quite a lot in common in terms of shared experiences.

'School is school…you know how it is. You get any difficulties coming out?'

'Not really. There are about six hundred boys in the school and there are maybe twenty of us who are openly out. There's probably another thirty or forty who are in the closet. Ninety percent of the others couldn't care less one way or the other…then there are the remainder who don't approve but keep their views to themselves. And then the tiny dipstick few who think we should all be castrated or worse. But the school has a no tolerance policy on gay hate. The fact is that most of the straight boys have a wank buddy of some description anyway. The only trouble – if there is any – is that some of them think that just because a boy is gay, he'll be up for a wank – or more - with anyone. And there are a couple of boys like that…but not me.'

'Kinda the same where I am. You have a boyfriend?'


'Guess it won't be long – you're a pretty good-looking guy, you know.'

I blush.

'Well, thanks. So are you.'

And he is.

He is also not at all shy, as becomes clear that night when we get ready for bed.

'I don't normally wear pjs,' he says, 'but if my walking around naked would disturb you, I'm happy to wear some boxers – though I'm sure neither of has anything we haven't both seen in the school showers hundreds of times.'

'That's fine. I don't wear pjs at home either.'

'Great. OK if I use the bathroom first?'


He strips, putting his clothes neatly on the shelf under the window. When he turns round to walk to the bathroom, I get a full view of all his assets. He is lean and fit and smooth – except for the bush of hair in his groin beneath which hangs a very full, dark cock. He walks unhurriedly across the room and closes the bathroom door behind him. I hear the shower running and once it's turned off, the unmistakeable buzz of an electric toothbrush. He emerges a minute or two later and walks over to his bed. His cock flops gently from side to side as he does so.

'Great shower,' he says, 'all sorts of interesting jets and things.'

He rearranges the pillows before getting in and sitting up, back against the pillows and with the duvet pulled up to his waist.

I fold my clothes neatly – very neatly – and put them beside his on the window-shelf. I can feel his eyes on me as I make my way to the bathroom. I'm not shy either. But it takes all my concentration to avoid getting hard.

The shower is, indeed, interesting but I think I'm going to have to look at the instructions – or get James to show me – as some of the effects are rather unexpected. In the end I just settle for the normal shower-heads. I brush my teeth and put my electric brush beside James'. I notice he has a bottle of cologne that I can't help sniffing. It smells really nice; I wish I could afford something like that instead of the basic spray deodorant which is in my washbag.

I make my way back to bed. James is reading a book, but I notice his eyes flick up and down my body as I get close to him. I've got a book with me, too, but I actually feel quite tired. I just slide under the duvet and turn off my bedside light.

'Is it OK if I read for a bit?' he asks.

'Of course…no rush.'

As I lie there, my hand, as always, drifts down to my groin. I really want to have a wank like I do every night – and seeing James naked has intensified my urge - but I guess I'm just going to have to be patient. But I can't help but give it the odd squeeze and stroke. And James notices.

'Umm…if you want to have a wank, please just go ahead. I'm certainly going to have one in a minute. I don't know about you, but I virtually can't get to sleep until I've done it.'

'Me neither,' I say, 'but if you're going to, I think I'll wait for you.'

He puts his book down.

'If we're both going to, do you want to do it together? I mean, we're going to be sharing this room for a week, so the sooner we're not embarrassed by one or the other of us beating off, the better. To be honest, I do it a lot more than once a day most days.'

'Me too.'

'There you are then. So why don't we just do it in the open? That way if one of us walks in on the other giving themselves a bit of relief any time, we can just carry on without it being awkward.'

I can hardly believe he's so self-assured. But it makes sense. And I can't pretend I'm not interested in seeing what he's got when he's aroused.

'Sure…good idea.' I say.


He puts the book down on the bedside table and then throws back the duvet. He spreads his legs a little and takes hold of himself. I follow suit, pulling the duvet off me. I watch him harden and grow. I am already rock-hard.

'Hey…all ready to go, I see…nice.'

'Sorry…I know you're not gay, but…well…the sight of a good looking boy getting hard is kind of arousing for a boy who is.'

'I'm flattered,' he says.

He's now fully erect too. I reckon we're about the same size. We both start to masturbate ourselves. We even have a similar technique – pulling the skin back and forwards over the head. It doesn't take me long to reach my climax, my cock kicks in my hand and four or five spurts of white goop leap from the tip and land on my stomach. James is not far behind – but he produces one seemingly endless rope of cum, followed by a couple of what are not much more than oozes.

'God that feels so good, doesn't it?' he says.

'Certainly does.'

'Do you eat yours?'

'Sometimes,' I say.

I run two fingers through the sticky mess I've made and lift them to my mouth. James does the same with the jizz on his chest.

'Have you ever tasted anyone else's?' I ask

'No…have you?'

I shake my head.

'Do you want to?' he asks with a smile.

I have genuinely never even thought about it. The boy I jack off with at school the most is not someone I particularly fancy. Most wank buddies aren't. The idea of tasting his goop is almost repellent. But I realise that I don't feel this way about James. I meet his gaze and then stretch out my hand and run a finger through the line of cum that's streaked across his chest. I taste it. It's different to mine, but not unpleasant. He cocks his head on one side.


'Definitely OK.'

'May I?'

He runs a finger tip over my stomach and tentatively licks it. I'm quite surprised…and his touch is quietly thrilling.

'Hmmm…OK I guess,' he says. Then, 'thanks, that was interesting. Always good to try something new. And now we can both just have a wank whenever we want.'

He pulls a handkerchief out from under his pillow and wipes himself down. I do the same. We both snuggle back down under our duvets.

'Sleep well, Matt.'

'You too James.'

He turns out the light.

But I can't get the picture of his erection out of my head.

23rd December

I see Charlie's partner, Luke, for the first time today. He is utterly gorgeous. Blond hair and amazing greeny-brown eyes.

The other cousins arrive today as well. They are sharing a room opposite James' and mine which means they look out onto the garden at the back of the hotel rather than over the sea. They are a bit miffed when they come into our room and see the view we have.

Emma is as happy as ever to see me. We go off for a walk together once they've settled in. The beach is only a few hundred yards from the hotel. It's a cold but clear day and we both wrap up warm before strolling down across the sand towards the water's edge.

'So how's my favourite cousin?' she asks.

'He's fine, Em. And you?'

'I'm OK…boyfriend trouble at the moment, but other than that….'

'What kind of trouble?'

'I think he's seeing someone else. Getting away for a week might be a good thing. How about you?'

'I've got boyfriend trouble too.'


'Yeah…my trouble is I haven't got one.'

She laughs.

'I was really proud of you when I heard you'd come out. I have to say I'd wondered for a while.'


'Yeah…but it's so cool to have a gay cousin – especially one as nice as you.'

I give her a hug.

'Thanks, Em.'

'And how's sharing a room with James?'

'Actually, it's brilliant. We get on really well. And my being gay doesn't faze him one bit.'

'I've always thought he was pretty cool. Kind of cute too. Not as cute as you though. I'm sure you'll have a boyfriend in no time. I assume you want one?'

'I do…well, actually what I want is sex…but only with the right person.'

'Matty Warner! Did you just say that?'

'Sorry. Horny teen talking. Have you had sex yet?'

'I can't believe you just asked me that!'

I nudge her with my shoulder.

'Well, if you can't tell your favourite cousin, who can you tell?'

She looks at me.

'Just between us?'

'Just between us.'

'Justin keeps pestering me to go the whole way with him. But I haven't…yet. I think maybe that's why he might be seeing someone else. In which case I'm pleased I haven't done it with him. I mean, we indulge in some pretty heavy petting. He's had his fingers inside me and I masturbate him pretty regularly. Messy isn't it, that stuff you boys squirt everywhere.'

'I'm sure I wouldn't know,' I say with a smile.

'Matty Warner!! I bet you do it all the time – and have done for ages.'

'Guilty as charged,' I say with a big grin.

'How old were you when you first did it?'

'Now who's asking the personal questions?!'

'You can tell me…'

'I was twelve,' I confess.

'Really? Wow. And the word is that boys do it pretty much every day once they can. So…you're sixteen and a bit…that's four and half years…that's…God….about fifteen hundred times. Is that right?'

'Some of us do it more than once a day,' I say with a smile.

'REALLY? Christ. It's a wonder the world isn't drowning in sperm.'

She looks at me and we both start laughing.

I like my cousin Em.

Dinner that night is a convivial, family affair. It looks like it should be a very good Christmas.

24th December – Christmas Eve

The hotel has block-booked a whole carriage on the local steam railway for any residents who would like to take the fifteen mile trip to the end of the line. They have laid on mince pies and mulled wine and I think virtually everyone staying at the hotel has opted to take the trip. It seems to get everyone – me included – in the mood for Christmas.

At five o'clock carol singers appear and we have carols round the beautifully-decorated tree in the lounge, and the there is a special Christmas Eve dinner laid on. The whole family – including James and I – share several bottle of wine with the meal. All the residents hang up the stockings that the hotel has provided them by the fire before bedtime. There is a Midnight Mass at the local church for anyone who wants to go and, as everyone else in the family wants to, James and I decide to go too. I'm not religious, but the candlelight and the atmosphere all combine to add to the general feeling of good cheer.

We get back to the hotel at about 12.30 and make our way to our various rooms. James and I use the bathroom together before tumbling into bed.

'Gonna have a wank, Matt?'

'I think so,' I say

'Me too.'

There's silence for a moment. And then,

'You know how it feels better when someone does it to you? Like at school. How would you feel about us becoming wank buddies for the rest of our holiday?'

Maybe it's the wine talking, and maybe it's the wine answering, but I get out of bed and go and slip in beside him. We are on our sides facing each other. He takes hold of me and I take hold of him. His cock is like smooth silk over hot iron in my hands, and his fingers are like steel around my shaft. We stroke each other to a slow, sensual and explosive climax. He wipes both of us clean with his handkerchief.

'That was brilliant. Thanks Matty. Better than any of the boys at school.'

'For me too I say,' before making my way back to my own bed. I don't dare tell him that it has stirred more feelings in me than any school wank buddy could ever manage in a million years.

December 25th – Christmas Day

I wake up before James with a raging stiffy and a desperate need to pee. The only way I can manage this is to go and empty my bladder in the shower, my cock pointing resolutely upwards. I'm still half-hard as I make my way back to bed. James opens one eye.

'Happy Christmas, Matt.'

'Happy Christmas, James.'

'Matty…did we agree to…you know…jack off 'together' together, if you know what I mean, last night?'


He smiles. 'Good…for one moment I thought it might only have been a dream.'

'No…it was very real.'

'I hope you didn't mind…me asking. I hope that was OK.'

'It was a lot more than OK for me. Want a cup of coffee?'

'That would be nice.'

There's a small coffee machine in the sitting room. I get up and walk through and switch it on. I'm naked. As I'm waiting for it to percolate through, I see James get out of bed to go to the bathroom. He's got a stiffy – morning wood like I had, I suppose. But the sight of it arouses me. It's the last thing I need, but I hope I'll be back in bed with the coffee before James is out of the bathroom and can see it.

No such luck. I'm carrying the two mugs back into the bedroom with my erection swaying from side to side as he emerges from the bathroom. He looks, smiles, but doesn't say a word. He sits on the edge of the bed and, as I pass him one of the cups, he wraps his other hand round my stiffy.

'You really do have the most strokeable cock, Matt,' he says, moving his hand up and down. 'Would you like me to finish you off?'

It's all I can do to nod. I put the coffee down and let him do his thing. I can see that he's hard too.

'Want me to do this to you at the same time?'

He stands up and I take his rigid cock in my hand. We stand there, jacking each other off. He's got a head start on me, and I ejaculate first. Some of it splatters on his groin and some goes on the floor. I can feel my legs go a bit wobbly...and then he's over the edge too. His jet of cum hits me on the stomach and runs slowly down into my pubes. The sensation of his seed on my skin is disturbingly arousing.

'Fuck…that was so good,' he says, 'and a great way to start Christmas.'

I can only agree.

We both go and shower – and he shows me how some of the jets and nozzles work. It's fun. But we reluctantly have to cut our exploration short as it's time to get dressed and go down for breakfast.

As the various members of the family drift in, we all exchange 'happy Christmases' with each other and the other guests. I'm ravenous and demolish a huge plate of bacon, eggs and sausages – despite my mother saying that I need to keep space for lunch.

After breakfast, we all gather in the lounge, and the stockings – now filled - are distributed amongst the guests. The owners have clearly been to a lot of trouble; the stockings are all different and contain four or five things that are appropriate to the age and sex of the recipient. There's a puzzle game, a can of 'antibullshit spray', a hand-thrown mug and a little multi-tool in mine. James has a mug like mine but in a slightly different colour, a different maze game, some chocolate chilis and the same multitool. There's a bottle of wine – amongst other things - in my dad's and my uncles' stockings, and bath bombs in the girls' ones.

We have time to ourselves before lunch which will be served at 2pm. James and I take our stockings back up to our room. He goes over to his case and brings me over a beautifully-wrapped present.

'This is for you. I hope you like it.'

Inside it a bottle of the cologne that I've been pestering my Mum about for ages. I know it's expensive.

'This is amazing, James….how did you know?'

'My mum phoned yours and she said this is what she thought you'd like. I wanted to get you something nice, so….'

'I love it...but…wow, that's so generous.'

And I give him a kiss. Full on the lips. I can see the surprise on his face.

'Sorry, James, I…'

'No…no…it's fine. A little unexpected, but OK. My first ever kiss from a boy,' he says with a little laugh. And he gives me a little peck on the cheek in return.

I feel very awkward. Not about the kiss, but about what I've bought him. It's cheap in comparison.

'I've got something for you too, James. But...god I feel awful…it's nothing like as nice as this.'

'If it's from you it will be perfect.'

I hand him my very precisely-wrapped present.

He opens it. It's a T-shirt. A nice, Weird Fish T-shirt that says 'Game of Bones' with a funny cartoon – but it is just a T-shirt.

'Oh my God,' he says, 'I love this. It's my favourite show and I love stuff by Weird Fish. How did you know?'

'Would you believe, lucky guess?' I say.

'You couldn't have chosen anything nicer.'

And then he kisses me on the lips. It's his turn to see my surprise.

'If that's how you like to show you're pleased, who am I to do anything different?'

He grins at me and we both laugh.

'It's such fun sharing with you, Matty. I'm so pleased we are. And it's great to have a chance to really get to know you.'

'You too, James.'

There are champagne cocktails before lunch. James and I are allowed one each. They must have been strong, because I can feel the effect by the time we sit down for lunch. Lunch itself is a spectacular five-course affair that goes on for more than two hours. James and I sneak a glass of white wine and we are allowed a small glass of port at the end.

Afterwards, we exchange family presents before the adults all retire for a rest. We four cousins are left to our own devices. Sarah is keen that we all play a board game she's brought with her, so we do. James and I are both hopeless at it and the girls win both the games we play. James and I decide to take a break. As we walk upstairs, we meet Luke on his way down.

'I hope you are having a good day, enjoying yourselves.'

'Yes thanks. This is a great hotel and lunch was awesome. You and Charlie must work very hard.'

'Charlie is the genius behind it. I just do what I'm told.'

He cracks a big smile. God, he's gorgeous.

'He told me you were his first love,' I say, '...that you met when you stayed here with your grandmother.'

'Yes…yes, that's true. It all seems a long time ago now.'

'But you were my age when you met?'

'He was sixteen, I was seventeen. It was love – and a bit of lust, I must be honest - at first sight.'

'Was he your first love too?' asks James.

'He was. I had a girlfriend at the time, but Charlie just blew me away and made me realise what I really wanted…what I really was.'

'So you were bi?'

'I thought so. But things aren't as simple as labels make them seem. You're under pressure to conform – or I was. So was I bi or was I telling myself I was? All I know that is I found true love with Charlie...although I nearly buggered things up totally. Hey…if you're interested I'll tell you all about it sometime, but I have to skip on right now.'

'Of course…sorry to delay you. I'd really like to hear the story if you have time,' says James.

'No problem. I'll just check with Charlie first, but maybe you two would like to come up to the apartment and have coffee with us and we'll fill you in?'

'Sounds great.'

'OK…I'll catch up with you later.'

He disappears downstairs.

'Can't wait to hear more; 'things aren't as simple as labels make them seem' sounds intriguing.'

'I'd just be happy sitting and looking at him. Isn't he sexy?'

'Good looking certainly.'

When we get back to our room we both flop onto our beds.

'Em and Sarah are nice, aren't they?' I say.

'Yeah, they're OK.'

'So which of your cousins would you go for?'

'That's easy – you.'

I turn my head to face him.


'Hey, you're fun to be with and I reckon we get on really well.'

'Yes…but what I meant was…look…suppose you were going to be shot unless you…you know…'went' with one of them?'

He smiles.

'I still choose you. We're already there…we've jacked off together, remember?'

'Yes…but if you had to…go all the way? I mean I'd choose Em like a shot.'

'You reckon you could get it up with her, even though you're gay?'

'If it was that or being shot…'

'I guess.'

'So…if you were going to be shot, who do you choose?'

He looks at me. 'So the question is, if I had to fuck one of my cousins - and they have no say in the matter - or else I get shot, who would I choose?'

I nod.

'I still choose you. '

'You'd rather fuck me than one of the girls?'

'I'd rather not fuck any of you, but if you put me on the spot, then yes.'

'Oh, OK,' I say, 'but isn't that a bit weird? I mean, you're not gay.'

'But you are. So I figure I'd be doing something you'd enjoy. I mean, we seem to like each other. I know that's not the same as having sex – although we've gone some way down that road already. But it would feel like I was raping one of the girls if I did it to them. So this way everybody wins. Why, does the idea disgust you?'

'No…no, not at all…I mean…you know…I like you and you're kinda sexy, actually, but…it was just an unexpected answer, that's all.'

'Life's full of surprises,' he says with a grin.

And the thought of him putting his cock inside me is quite a turn on.

As we get ready for bed later that night, I tell James that I'd really like to do something to say 'thank you' properly for the Christmas present he's given me. It's been on my mind all day.

'There's no need, Matt. It was just nice to give you something you want.'

'Maybe I can do the same for you,' I say.

'How do you mean?'

'Well, I wondered if…I mean, I've never done it before but…that is…if you'd like me to…instead of jacking off with you…if you'd like me to…to give you a bj? It's something I could give you – that I'd like to give you.'

He looks at me. I can see the surprise in his eyes.

'Umm…that's…kind…Matt…really kind…but I think that might be a bit weird. I mean, I really appreciate the offer, but…'

'It's OK,'I say, 'I shouldn't have mentioned it.'

I am incredibly embarrassed. And I wonder what on earth came over me to say such a thing. I hurry into bed, turn over and put out my bedside light. A few moments later, I'm aware of James getting into his bed, and I hear him open his book. I fear I've screwed things up with him…and I also realise that I've developed feelings for him that he is not going to be able to reciprocate. A lovely day has turned into a horrible one. I'm on the verge of tears when I hear him put his book down.

'Matty,' he says softly, 'did you mean it, you know, when you offered me a bj?'

'Yes, and I'm sorry.'

'Could I…change my mind?'

I turn over and look at him. And a weight is lifted off me.

'Yes…yes of course. I'm not sure how good it'll be, but I'll certainly do my best.'

I get out of bed. I've got a raging boner at the thought of what I'm about to do.

James giggles. 'Well, it certainly looks like you're 'up' for it.'

I try to suppress a snort of laughter, but we both end up laughing.

'So what do I need to do?' asks James.

'Lose the duvet, open your legs, lie back…and think of England.'

He pulls the duvet over the side of the bed and lies back, legs apart. He is already at full mast. I feel a mixture of nervousness and excitement at what I'm about to do. I kneel between his legs and lower my mouth towards his erection. I flick my tongue tentatively over the tip. I hear him take a sharp intake of breath. I may never have done this before, but I've watched plenty of gay porn - and read plenty too - so I have a pretty good idea what's involved.

With my lips over my teeth, I close them round his shaft and slide them down its ridged length. The tip of his cock hits the back of my mouth and I gag slightly. Then, with his balls in one hand, I start to work my lips up and down him.

The only sounds are of him repeating 'Oh my god…oh my god…oh my god' over and over…and the slight slurping sound my lips make as he gets wet and slippery with my saliva.

Then I feel his hands on the back of my head, and his fingers running through my hair.

And three or four minutes later I feel his balls tighten up. His fingers grip handfuls of my hair.

'I'm gonna cum, Matty.'

I'm determined that if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it properly. I keep going.

There's a mighty groan, and then he's unloading into me. His first blast almost chokes me, there's so much of it, but I swallow as best I can. When the last spurt has finished, I slide my lips up his shaft a final time and then pull off.

I sit up and look down at him.

He is just lying there, looking fixedly at the ceiling, mouth slightly open.

'Was that alright?' I ask.

His eyes swivel to meet mine.

'Alright? ALRIGHT? It was fucking amazing. If that's you doing it 'not very well', god only knows how it would feel if you thought you were doing it right. Oh Matty…you can do that to me any time you like….'

I lie down beside him, and he's aware of my hardness against his thigh.

'Hey…the least I can do is help you out with that,' he says.

He proceeds to give me a thoroughly enjoyable hand job. As he's doing so he says,

'And you were OK with swallowing all my...stuff?'

'Yes…you nearly drowned me with that first shot, though.'

He laughs.

'Yeah. I always seem to have this massive first blast and then just a few dribbles. And did you enjoy it Matt? I mean, it felt bloody fantastic from my end, but…'

'The truth is I loved it, James. I had no idea that it would feel that good to have another boy's cock in my mouth, but it did. Or maybe it's just you that feels that good. If you're up for it, I'd love to do it again. Oh…and I'm about to shoot.'

He holds my cock over my stomach as the five or six pulses of my ejaculation spatter my stomach with streaks of white.

'Oh I'm definitely up for you sucking me off any time you want to. And what a great way to finish Christmas Day.'

'For me too, James.'

I give him a quick kiss before slipping back to my bed. I wipe myself clean with a handkerchief, and then pull the duvet over me.'

'Night James.'

'Night Matt.'

26th December – Boxing Day

As we are finishing breakfast, Charlie comes over to us.

'Luke tells me you'd like to hear the story of how we almost didn't end up together.'

'Ummm…if that's not being too intrusive,' I say.

He smiles.

'No, that's fine. If it doesn't interfere with any family plans for the day, we'd be happy to give you coffee in our apartment at about 11. Luke and I both have an hour or so free then.'

'We'll check with the 'rents, but I'm sure they'll be fine with it.'

'OK. Hope to see you both later. If you can make it, come up to the second floor and go all the way along the corridor. There's a padded door at the end with a sign on it saying 'Private.' Give it a tap and one of us will let you in.'

'Thanks, Charlie.'

Our parents are both happy to let us amuse ourselves for the day, so at 11 we both make our way to the second-floor door. Luke opens it and shows us into their apartment. It's beautifully decorated in shades of blue. Luke leads us into the kitchen where Charlie is making coffee.

'I thought we'd sit in here – unless you'd prefer to go into the lounge?'

'This is fine.'

We all sit round the oak table that occupies the centre of the room. Luke hands round the coffees, and a plate of chocolate biscuits.

'So…you want to hear our story?

'If that's OK.'

Between them they tell us the story of how they met and fell for each other. How they'd wanted to try and make the long-distance relationship work and how the pressure on Luke had been too much.

'I don't think I knew what I was or what I really wanted. My bro had come out as gay and I had almost accidentally acquired a girlfriend from a prom date. Looking back, I can see my mother was desperate for me to be the son who continued the family line. Up to the age of sixteen, I thought of myself as straight. Then something happened that made me sure I was bi. Then I met Charlie and we had a full-on gay relationship. So what the hell was I? After the holiday, I missed Charlie like hell…and I did some stupid things that ended up with us parting. The details don't matter – it's just I've come to realise that I was so concerned about getting my head round what I was – my 'label' – that I forgot to listen to my instincts. Sometimes your head can really get in the way. I slowly – and too late – understood that straight, bi, gay just got in the way of the fact that I loved Charlie. I was lucky enough for circumstances to combine a few years later so that we got back together. But I was so busy looking inside myself to determine what I was that I forgot to focus on the only thing that really mattered. No, to hell with labels…just follow your instincts.'

'I know you said you were gay, Matt,' chips in Charlie, 'how about you, James?'

'Well…I've always thought of myself as straight. I reckon jacking off with a guy at school doesn't change that. I mean, if you don't feel stuff for someone it's not love or anything is it? It's just doing something that makes you feel good. Just guys getting their rocks off. But some things have happened that make me wonder if it's that simple…if I'm bi, to use a label…but if I've understood you right, I should forget about all that and just follow my gut and not worry about what it 'makes me'.'

'You got it.'

'How would you describe yourself now, though Luke?' I ask.

'I would describe myself as terminally happy. I'm with the person I love - and the person who loves me – most in the world. If the outside world wants to label me as gay because I share my life with a guy, then fine. If the outside world wants to label me as bi because I once had a girlfriend, that's fine too. I don't need a label. All I need is Charlie.'

'That's really lovely,' says James, 'and thanks…you've given me a lot to think about.'

'Yes, thanks - to both of you for the coffee and the chat,' I add. 'Now we must let you enjoy some peace and quiet before we guests start to make your life hell again.'

They both laugh.

'It was our pleasure. Enjoy the rest of your stay.'

'We will.'

They show us back out into the hotel.

And I have a question I'm burning to ask James.

'What was all that about something having happened to make you think you're bi or whatever?'

'Can we go back to our room and I'll explain?'

'Mysteriouser and mysteriouser…of course.'

We go down one flight of stairs, along the corridor and into our room. James leads me over to the sofa and sits down beside me.

'So what happened to make you think you're bi?'

'I didn't put that label on it which is why I so wanted to have the conversation with Luke and Charlie, but what's changed is… you.'


'Yes…you, Matty.' He sighs. 'That first day when we jacked off together but separately, I was way more interested in seeing what you'd got than I should have been. And when we did it to each other…oh my god…I felt things I've never, ever felt doing it with my wank-buddy at school. And then when you kissed me…it should have felt weird, but it didn't…it felt exciting…and when you gave me that bj…I mean, it's not just that it was the very best sensation that I've ever experienced in my life, it's that I had this almost primal urge to show you good it felt…to do the same to you. But each time I told myself not to be so stupid. I'm straight, right? This all had to be some kind of weird aberration. But then when Luke talked about labels not being as simple as they seem and them getting in the way…well…it made me think. And when he said follow your instincts….truth is, Matty, I think I might be getting…feelings…for you.'

I can hear the wobble in his voice as he says this, but he continues;

'Is that OK? I hope you don't mind…and I just hope to God that maybe you might feel the same about me?'

He has tears in his eyes. I just wrap my arms round him and hold him to me.

'I have feelings for you too, James. Probably stronger than yours for me. You are fun, sexy, good looking and just thoroughly nice – not to mention generous…and apparently every bit as horny as I am…'

He looks up at me and smiles at this last part.

'So it's OK if we…keep exploring things…between us?'

'It's very, very OK with me,' I say.

He moves his face towards mine and slowly - ever so slowly - puts his lips against mine. And kisses me. I kiss him back – and flick my tongue against his lips. He half pulls away at the contact…but then leans back into me and lets me inside. Absurdly enough, the thought at the front of my mind as our tongues meet is that I've given the boy I'm kissing a bj before I've ever kissed him…funny the things that pop into your head.

When we eventually break apart, we both know things have changed between us.

That night, we push the two beds together. In one of the cupboards is the double duvet that would normally be used when the beds are joined together. We use it to replace our two singles. Then, once we've taken off our clothes, we snuggle up against one another. His flesh is soft and warm against mine - except for one bit that is anything but soft. But then that goes for me too.

Several things are different that night: it's the first time that we bring each other to multiple climaxes; it's the first time I ever receive a bj – and I understand why James found it so mind-blowing when I first did it to him; it's the first time I have ever gone to sleep with a boy in my arms; and the first time I've gone to sleep with cum still wet on my body - the sensation of James' seed and mine drying slowly between us as I snuggle up against him feels so right. To wipe it away would be to deny the passion that we've shared…and the intimacy that exists between us.

27th December

In the morning we re-explore each other's bodies – and end up having our first mutual bj; the sensation of his cock sliding over my lips, whilst his tongue is doing wonderful things to me at the other end is sensational. And we can't keep our hands off one another in the shower either. We watch our seed mix as it slides its gooey way down the shower wall before disappearing in a swirl of white into the drain.

As we reluctantly get dressed, James turns to me.

'I don't know exactly what's happening between us,' he says, 'but I know it feels bloody wonderful and I want it to keep on happening.'

'Me too, James. But a bit like Charlie and Luke, in a few days this holiday will be over. Are we going to settle for this being some holiday fun that perhaps we can repeat from time to time…or do you want more?'

He goes very quiet and sits on the edge of the bed.

'I think I want more...if you do. I'd certainly like to keep exploring. Though I'd be happy to settle for the sex if you feel differently.'

'I'd like more…or at least try for it. But let's not make the same mistake Luke and Charlie did. We don't worry about who or what we are…we just enjoy what we have and see what happens.'

'We just enjoy what we have,' he echoes, 'which is each other.'

I go over to him, lift him to his feet, and embrace him.

'And if it works, then great…and if it doesn't…then yeah…let's keep having sex. And James, whatever happens, don't feel guilty. If it turns out that this is just you exploring your sexuality, then that's fine too. You won't have taken advantage of me – I'm loving every minute of being with you and doing what we do together.

We both grin.

It's Em who notices something's changed between James and me. And she takes me to one side when we go out on a family walk that afternoon.

'I know you said that you two were getting on well and that you liked each other, but…is there something a bit more?'

'How do you mean?'

'Oh come on, Matt…you're behaving more like…I dunno…almost boyfriends…than cousins who just like each other.'

I sigh. And it's pointless to deny it.

'It's very early days Em…but maybe. I mean I'd have him as my boyfriend in a heartbeat…but it's not so simple for him.'

'So you do fancy him?'

'Come on, Em. He's very good-looking and he's utterly lovely as a person…and I think he's dead sexy too. Of course I fancy him.'

'And he know this and is OK with it?'

'He knows I'm gay and that I find him attractive, yes.'

She looks at me.

'And does he have any of the same feelings for you?'

'Maybe you should ask him that. But possibly. Like I said, Em, it's not so simple for him.'

She snorts.

'Well… if he has a single gay bone in his body, he'd be mad not to grab you with both hands.'

'It isn't that big,' I say with a grin.

She takes a second or two to work it out.

'Matthew Warner! You are incorrigible.' Then, with a smile, 'How big is it then?'


'Come on….Justin is about six inches when he's…you know. He says that's average….so bigger or smaller?'



'I'm not playing this game.'


She links her arm through mine.

'So have you two had sex then?'

'Depends what you mean. Do you consider that what you do with Justin means that you two are having sex?'

'Umm…no, not really.'

'Then James and I aren't really having sex either.'

We look at each other - and burst out laughing.

James comes over. 'What's so funny?'

Em just looks at him and says, 'Good luck to both of you. I mean it.'

She leaves us and goes and rejoins her sister.

'What did she mean, Matt?...oh fuck, you didn't tell her did you?'

'She knew. Don't ask me how. She says the way we are when we're together is different. She could tell. Don't worry, she won't say anything. And she genuinely hopes things work out however we want them to.'

He stands, stock still.

'Oh my god….if she can tell, how about everyone else? I'm not ready to be…not ready to…fuck, Matt…I'm scared.'

'Scared is fine, James. It's how you…we…deal with it that matters. We can finish things right now if you want. Just agree that it was a fun few days. You exploring your sexuality. An experiment. Something we both enjoyed and will look back on with fondness. Never to happen again. If that's what you want.'

He looks at me. When he speaks his voice is scarcely audible.

', Matt…that's not what I want. At least I don't think it is. I just…I'm so mixed up inside, Matty. So mixed up. Of course I want to keep doing the things we do…but I want to see if there's more. I think I hope there's more.'

'Then remember what we agreed? We enjoy what we have and we see what happens. And we don't need labels.'

He smiles.

'And there's two of us in this,' I continue, 'you don't have to face any of it alone. Now, we better start walking or they'll wonder where we are.'

The others have disappeared round a bend in the path. I give James a hug – and we exchange a quick kiss. Then we hurry off to catch them up.

In bed that night, our love making is passionate. And we are both drained – literally – at the end of it. Tomorrow is the last day before the end of the holiday.

We also talk about whether, and when, we want to go further with each other. We agree to see how things work out over the coming months, but that if it all goes as we hope, then perhaps it's something we explore next time we're together. It's clear that James is thinking about him being inside me rather than the other way round…but that's fine. I'm at the place where that idea excites me…he still has some of the journey left to make. If he really is on a journey.

December 28th – our last day

We start the day with our heads between one another's legs, and enjoy a mutual early-morning protein boost. We snuggle up together and half an hour later masturbate each another to a slow and satisfying second climax. Sometimes the simple things are the best. And whether or not we have a relationship that is going anywhere or not, we are undoubtedly both extremely horny teenage boys who enjoy having fun together.

At breakfast, we receive a surprise. My dad and my uncle Peter - James' dad - have been talking.

'Hi boys,' dad says as we join them at the breakfast table, 'your uncle and I have been talking, and given how well you two boys seem to have got on - and if it's something you'd both like - Matt could travel back with you and your mum and dad, James, and spend New Year with you. The plan would be for you go back with them later today and then we'll come and pick you up on January 3rd. If you'd both like that.'

I look at James, who is a mass of smiles. 'It's absolutely fine with me,' he says.

'I'd love to,' I say, 'but I've kind of gone through most of the clothes I've brought with me…'

'Don't worry, your aunt is happy to put all of those through the wash when we get home,' says my uncle, '…you've got enough stuff to last until tomorrow?'

'Yes...I guess so.'

'Good. Then that's decided then. We're aiming to head off at about twelve, which is checkout time anyway.'

'Thanks,' I say, ' thanks very much. James and I have had a great time, so it will be terrific to have a few more days together. You sure you don't mind coming to pick me up, dad?'

'No…that's fine. You two have fun.'

'I'm sure we will.'

James and I can't help but celebrate upstairs in our room after breakfast. What looked like it was going to be a sad parting has turned into the happy prospect of another six days – and nights - of being together.

Six more days of seeing where what we have takes us.

We can't wait.

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