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Life on the Farm

by Joe Writer Man

Chapter 15

Dan and I went for a ride the following evening. As before, we rode the periphery of the property, looking for fence that was broken, misaligned, or gone. He told me that even though the town was small, and that people pretty much knew everyone else, there were still thieves and vandals who had no regard for other people's belongings.

I thought he was speaking to me. I said, "I had to steal. Nobody at home gave a flying ..."

"Watch your mouth, James. Once in a while is okay, I suppose, but you have a pretty good hand on the English language, so I expect you to find more appropriate words to describe situations. Give it a try. Besides, I'm not talking about your thievery for survival... thought we had that straightened out?"

I thought long and carefully... I rarely come up with a better word than 'fuck', so, I simply continued without the use of adjectives, "I wouldn't have done it, I mean I wouldn't have stealed."

"Yeah, I know, James. You don't strike me as the kind of kid who would take that which doesn't belong to you. I don't see you as a bad kid. You've got a good heart... that's what really counts, though. We can't go around hurting and harming other people, or yourself."

Seeing a section of loose fence got my attention, "Look, there's some fence that's not tied up very good."

We dismounted, tied the horses' reins to a post then walked to the section I was talking about. Dan jiggled and wiggled the fence. He said that while the fence wasn't in danger of letting out the animals, it did warrant tightening up. So it was a chore put on the list to do the following day. He thanked me for seeing something that he hadn't. He ruffled my hair then showed me how to mount up. That pulled those muscles in my leg to the point where they hurt. He sensed it. He put his huge hand on my butt, pushed me on up, then he mounted. No more fences were found broken or loose.

On the way back to the barn, he took us by the pasture where blackie hung out. We stood still and waited for him to come to us. Dan said that the horse would not be so nervous, if permitted to come on his own time. About 20 minutes later, or so, blackie did come to us. Once again, he permitted me to touch and talk to him without getting spooked and running off, or hurting and harming us.

"Can I get down? I want to pet him."

"Oh, I don't know about that... he probably weighs 10 times your weight. He could squash you like a bug, in a New York second, and there wouldn't be anything I could do about it... but then again... he's never acted like this before..."

Dan lifted me up and out of the saddle then I slid down. Blackie nuzzled my face, neck and chest... spreading buckets of slobber on them. But he was calm. He'd snort every once in a while, as I'd scratch his face and swat away the flies.

I looked into Dan's eyes. Assuredly I said, "He won't hurt me."

"I don't think so. This is against my better judgment." Dan said. He reached into the saddle bag, retrieved a training halter, attempted to put it on the horse, however, blackie rebuked his efforts. The horse would turn his head, and turn away.

Dan took hold of the horses' mane then handed me the halter and told me how to put it on. I had to snicker when he permitted me to put it on without a qualm in the world. We then led Blackie around a wide periphery... okay, I led him around while Dan walked with me, close to me, with one hand on my shoulders.

"Have you ever ridden a horse before you got here?"

"No. This is my first time. I'm not afraid of him. He won't hurt me. I know things about people, and, well, I guess I know things about horses, too. I don't know; I can just feel he's okay. Can I ride him?"

Without another word, Dan slowly, carefully, and gently pushed me up on its bare back. He then handed me the reins, but he kept a hand on them, too. We walked around for about 30 minutes, or so. The horse never once gave any inkling that it was going to run off, which was what Dan was afraid of. He said as much.

It was getting dark, so I dismounted, got the halter off without too much difficulty then we took off for the barn. Eric was sitting on the fence, watching us ride up. He smiled big. While Dan was taking off the saddle and bridle, Eric patted my back, "I don't believe it. But I saw you up on that damn horse. You've got balls. Come on, let's help Dad."

Somehow the chicken coop didn't seem all that bad.

Adam called Friday morning. He told me that Tony, Seth, and he were bringing up the motor home rig because we were going to take off for Dallas to attend a photography convention. I really didn't want to go, and said so, but, he told me that Seth was really looking forward to being with me, and so were they, for that matter.

Vera had gone into the kitchen to begin lunch preparations. Usually on Fridays, she went all out. She cooked and baked all morning. With her cooking, I never went hungry. I'd gained 3 pounds in the few days that I'd been there at their house, eating their food. Vera said I was gaining weight because I had stability, was doing hard work, wasn't snacking on junk food, and eating healthily.

I said to Adam, "Hold on a minute. I'll be right back."

I walked into the kitchen, the forbidden zone <ha ha>. She said, "What's up, young man? You have something on your mind."

"Uhm, yeah, I do. Uhm, Adam, well, him, Tony and Seth want to go to Dallas for a photography convention... they want me to go with them, and, well, I kinda want to go with them... but, I like it here, too, a lot. What should I do?"

I'd never before asked anybody what I should do about anything. The words were kind of shocking, well, maybe not shocking, but they surprised me.

But then my emotions started playing games with me... quickly I reached up to my face and brushed away a tear.

Vera put down the ladle, reached out her arms. Without hesitation, I went into them. She patted my back then pulled me into her bosom. I reached my arms around her.

I wanted to go with Adam and be with Seth, yet, again, I wanted to stay on the farm.

After a few minutes of 'quiet time', Vera said, "Follow your heart, child. Your mind will follow. It works every time. If you want to go... we'll be here when you're ready to come back. If you want my opinion..."

I looked into her eyes, nodded. "I think, maybe, Seth wants to be with you... he does probably not know what to think with you being here. Maybe he's feeling left out... I don't know him, but he seems like a good sensitive kid. Good friends are hard to come by."

"Yeah, he's the first friend I ever had. Since we met... he's always just been there. Uhm, okay, then I think I need to go."

"Honey, I think you've made the right decision. I think Seth is lost... your friendship... I see it being much more than friendships... talk to him. You can come back here any time. I'm pretty sure I speak for my family when I say that you are growing on us. Is Adam still on the phone?"

"Oh shoot, yeah. Okay. Thank you." I said then wrapped my arms around her and squeezed tight.

"I'll set extra plates... we've got plenty."

They arrived right as Vera began dishing up plates of food. Of course, I was out of my chair in a heartbeat, ran to the porch, and then on out to the rig. Seth was out first. We jumped into each others' arms, nearly squeezing the life out of ourselves, but it was all good.

After dinner, I took Seth up to 'my' room, showed him around, and packed a bag to take on the trip. Seth said that Adam had loaded up enough clothes for me to wear, he'd helped, too. As soon as we got things all ready and everything, we stood in the middle of my room, looked deep into each others' eyes. I said, "I'm sorry if this hurts you, Seth. I'd never hurt you in a million years. There's something here for me, though. I feel okay, you know right down here <I pointed to my heart>."

"I know the feeling. Don't feel bad. I left a couple of friends behind when I moved in with Tony... uhm, James, I love you."

I squeezed a little bit harder, as if that were possible because we were mashing together, "I love you, too, even though I don't really know what love is... all I know about it is that it's starting to feel pretty good... I never knew..."

"Me neither... I say go for it." Seth said, and then searched for my lips... but he didn't have to search very long or hard since mine were searching for his, too.

When we parted, something caught my attention... I turned my head toward the door... Eric was standing there watching us. His face registered a bit of surprise, yet, he was halfway smiling, too. He walked on. I heard the bathroom door close. We went downstairs.

Seth said to his dad, Tony, "James is coming with us." To Vera he said, "Thanks for taking good care of James. I appreciate your care and concern for him. I really do."

"Well, honey, thank you. We try. He's a good boy. While he's gone, you take good care of him for us, will you?"

"Yes ma'am. No problem." Seth said, then put his arms around my shoulders. Mine went around his waist.

Dan entered the living room from being outside doing his chores. I said, "I'm going to go with Adam, Tony and Seth... if it's okay with you?"

"It's fine with me, if you want to go. I hope you come back. Seth, you're welcome visit anytime." Dan said seriously.

Seth looked to me. With a toothy smile, something passed across his face, he replied, "I think I would like to do that... and thank you for letting James come with us."

"Oh wait a minute. Dan, can I show Seth my horse... I mean the horse in the pasture, sorry."

Dan said, not batting an eye, "That horse is yours, James." He snickered, "Eric tried to get on him... well, let's just say that he found himself on his behind on the ground."

Eric piped up while rubbing his butt, "Yeah, don't remind me."

"My horse?" I asked incredulously, not believing what Dan had just said.

"Yup. If you don't take him..."

"Oh, I don't know about that... he kind of took me... whow... by surprise... come on Seth, I gotta show him to you!" I said then looked to Adam. He said, "Hurry up, boys. We need to be hitting the road."

Dan said, "There will be another time to show your horse... besides you aren't to ride him unless Thomas or I are with you. It's nap time for me. Thomas needs to go into town."

"Okay, I'll show you when we get back." I said happily to Seth.

Just like our trip to south Texas, North Padre Island, Seth and I rode shotgun in the back of the rig. For a while we played cards, then the card game turned to something much more interesting, fun and exciting – strip poker. Then our arms and legs became a maze not to be broken. But before I could have Seth do to me what I so much wanted him to do... I headed, naked as the day I'd been born, into the bathroom, took a massive crap, wiped up appropriately, then got into the shower hoping to clean up really, really good... but, I didn't know that you couldn't take a shower, unless the rig was hooked up to utilities... but there was reserve water that came out of the sink... so I washed my lower regions with a wet washcloth.

That was a really good thing, because Seth wanted my ass in every way; first with his tongue invading my deepest sanctum that had never before been entered into 'like that'. It drove me wild, and it relaxed me thoroughly and completely, which allowed him to grease me up, and enter that area of my anatomy with ease and without resistance. Once I was fully relaxed and open, he flipped me onto my back, reinserted his rod of pleasure, kissed me thoroughly, deeply and meaningfully, all the while pounding my butt for all it was worth. When his moment arrived, it was met with some mild yet serious screams of ecstasy. When he recovered sufficiently, he got onto his back, lifted his legs high in the air... which was an invitation, if I'd ever seen one. With him in that position, I could easily, and did easily enter his nether region, and within 5 minutes, I, too, was exclaiming my arrival, seemingly I was smashing into Jupiter.

We curled up and fell asleep.

Seth is a dude who likes to sleep flat on his stomach. When I awoke, the rig was going over some very rough road; my hand was lying across his naked buns. He was still greasy from our love making, so, easily, I got up on top, rubbed my dick in his crevice... he awoke, reached back and separated those ebony brown globes just enough to permit entry. When I was embedded, when my pubes were pushing into his cheeks, he giggled and said that those pubes sprouts of mine were tickling him. That caused me to only push harder into him. I also rubbed from side to side so that the full effect would be known to him... while we were goofing off, the feeling of impending orgasm took over... within seconds, if I had any left to give, a few drops of honey dew was being buried deep, deep, deep. Well, as deep as I could. I wasn't inside him far enough... but it was the best I could do with what I had. It was good enough for Seth... he was happily moaning, anyway.

When we pulled into the KOA campground at a little after midnight, we got dressed, and helped Adam and Tony get the rig hooked up to utilities, and leveled. Adam whipped up some hotdogs, topped with fried bacon, melted cheese, ketchup, mustard and onions. I had two. Seth had 3.

Seth and I then took off for the public restroom/shower combination. After taking a good country shit, we got into the shower together. It was late, the restroom was empty, and, well, one thing led to another... I was soon bent over on the floor with Seth pounding me for all I was worth.

Just as Seth began recovering from a massive orgasm, we heard an adjacent shower turn on, and then we heard two boys, younger boys than us, moaning and groaning, and carrying on for more, more, more... I looked at Seth – our eyes locked. Then we began giggling. Then those two boys hollered as they were overtaken by carnal pleasures. Seth then laid me flat down on the floor then paid some serious attention to that which designates me male. I crashed and burned with a scream, or two. I quickly recovered as we heard giggling.

Because the floor, the wood slats used for people to stand on so they didn't get their feet on bare pavement, was gross and slick, we walked out into the open area and began drying off. The two dudes who had taken their shower in the adjacent stall exited. They were grinning like Cheshire cats. We traded high fives, talked while we got dressed in shorts, commando style. They were from New Orleans on their way to Los Angeles to see family and friends, and the nudist beaches of southern California, down by San Diego.

The convention was pretty neat. Adam and I were surprised as all hell that his pictures of me won 2nd place. Do you know the picture that took tops? It was the one where I was sitting in Adam's car, stripping off my clothes to put on that bikini he'd bought for me. He said the judges couldn't get past that shit eating grin on my face, and my youthful innocence that came out with the sun shining brightly. Some people, after the ceremonies were over and done with, came up to Adam and were willing to pay big bucks for me to model for them. Without hesitation, without a qualm he politely declined their offers.

Do you know who won first place?

Seth. He was sitting out on the lake in the pontoon boat, naked as the day he'd been born, though the picture was only suggestive, it, nevertheless, captured a beautiful moment. I only knew he was naked because I knew his body inside and out, pun intended, and knew what to look for. He said the picture had been taken about 6 months before we'd met.

I was so happy for him. He and Tony did accept a contract, so long as Adam was the photographer. Of all things, the most lucrative offer was to model baseball uniforms. The contract wasn't exclusive so they took another contract from Speedo. The executive took me and Seth back to the rig, measured him for the proper size, which was a funny experience because Seth was making all sorts of wicked looking facial expressions – trying to not spring wood... success!

The convention ended Saturday afternoon. Seth and I really started working on Tony to take us to the beach, once again. He said no about 30 times, then on the 31st time, gave in. They both needed to be back on Tuesday, so we headed out, southbound and down.

That time of the year, early summer was tourist season, which meant there were many vacationers out and about – wearing swimsuits. God, those fucking boardie suits should be outlawed!

Nevertheless, much to Tony and Adam's admonishments, Seth and I would strip down and then go running into the surf, and then go way out and jump waves, having a really good time. It seemed that several other people, including people our ages, and even adults joined in. The shore patrol wasn't all that happy about turning that area into a nudist beach. Warnings were given. Warnings were largely ignored. They gave up, but said they'd say something, and enforce the 'rules' if people started complaining, or if he saw anything even remotely sexual. A couple of people did complain, but no other people voiced their concerns, so those two people were pretty much on their own. Sunday night, they and about three quarters of the crowd left for home. By Monday afternoon, we were alone. Adam and Tony said they really, really needed to be home no later than Wednesday.

So, on Tuesday morning, while Tony and Adam slept in, we were out in the surf having a ball playing Frisbee with two brothers who had arrived with their parents the previous evening. They were very bashful and reserved. But, Seth and I wore them down. By the time it was time for us to leave, there were 4 swinging dicks freely playing in the Gulf of Mexico. They were approximately our ages. The younger brother was hairy as all hell. He had hair on his chest, upper arms, and his belly, pubes, butt and legs looked like a gorilla. When we sat down on the beach to rest and talk he brought it up that he had hypertrichosis. He invited us to touch it. It was soft, slightly wavy and silky. I thought it was pretty kewl actually, and said so. He was very appreciative of our comments because he'd often been made fun of... like it was something he could do anything about – not.

Their parents called them for lunch. As though they did it all the time... naked, they picked up their swimming suits and walked to their camp site. I heard the mother say something about being incorrigible and wild Indians. Nevertheless, when we took out, they were walking along the beach, minding their own business – naked. The hairy boy, Bobby, waved us down. Tony stopped the rig and invited them in. Bobby walked to me, pulled me into a hug and then kissed my lips, and thanked me for being so accepting of him. When I returned the gesture, with more vigor than he apparently felt comfortable with, damn me, he said that while he wasn't gay, he just felt attracted to me and wanted to tell me how appreciative he was that we would accept him, as he was. He jumped off the rig after kissing Seth.

We got to Adam's place at about 5am the next morning. Seth and I took a long hot shower before he and his dad needed to leave for their home in Oklahoma City. We'd had full out sex 11 times since we'd been together. While my butt was sore as hell, the discomfort wasn't anything to write home about. I just used the medicine frequently, and Seth was gentle until the very last possible moment.

While we were in the shower, I shared my feelings with him, just us alone, without outside interference of adults and others. He understood my needs to be with my probably 'new' family because he'd been there done that. I told him, emphatically, he'd definitely need to come see me, my horse, and these new people who actually liked me for who and what I was. He told me, in no uncertain terms, that I'd have to come see him; that his dad would come get me, and hog tie me, if necessary. Hmm, I kinda liked the idea of being tied up by Seth, and his having his way with me.

Adam had to meet with the contract company late Wednesday afternoon to iron out some details. He offered to take me but I chose to stay at his place. I don't know why, but I needed some alone time. He gave me $20.00 to go out and eat, or I could fix up something simple to eat.

As soon as he took off, I took off on my bicycle and headed into town. I ate at the Mickey D's, then took off for the park where I'd spent so much time when I had been alone in the world. I sat down next to the water. Once again, and I don't know where it came from because everything was going so 'right' I started crying happy and contented tears. I noticed that the anger, feelings of worthlessness, hatred, and being so fucking alone in the world were largely gone.

The flood of emotions passed on and out of my system. Afterward, I felt invigorated, relaxed, and a bit tired, but it was a good tired. The sound of breaking twigs and leaves being rustled on the ground brought me the rest of the way out of my emotional upheaval. I turned around. The sun was in my eyes so I couldn't see clearly. I had to avoid looking so closely to the sun so I turned away, stood up, brushed my pants off, and put my hand in the way to block the glare from the sun.

"Well, hello, James." A kind voice, a voice that I recognized as Ben's, said.

"Oh, hey Ben. How are you?"

"I'm good. The question is how you are?"

"It's all good... I've got a family and friends who give a fuck... sorry... I've got a horse, too!" I gushed with excitement, and freedom to say what was really on my mind.

"Oh wow... that's kewl, son. So, where have you been? I haven't seen you in ages."

I walked up the slight incline and stood in front of him, "Well, a lot has happened. I don't live here anymore. I moved in with a really good friend. A couple of weeks ago I met a family who wants to adopt me, I think... they like me... they say I can come back whenever I want to. I think I want to stay there, too."

"That's good to hear, James. I was worried about you, just so you know. So... what brings you here? Does your new family live here?"

"Oh no, they live about 2 hours north and west of here. I just spent the weekend with my friends. We went to Texas... to the beach. What have you been up to? Are you finished at the school?"

"Oh, I've been working hard and heavy. And, no, the school isn't yet finished. We've got a couple more weeks of work left to do... but we're getting there. Texas... I've been there a few times... never made it to the beach, though. My son wants to go to a beach before he grows up... maybe we'll go this summer... I've got some time off coming as soon as this job is finished. So... what brings you here, James?"

"Oh, I've got some time to kill so I rode my bike over here just to spend some time alone... you know... to think."

"Yeah, I know how that is... a guy just has to have his time alone every now and again. Well, I won't bother you anymore. I like to stop here before going home... it's kind of my quiet time, too."

"That's okay; I was just getting ready to go... uhm, Ben... thank you." I said sincerely.

"Oh, I don't know that I did anything... but you're welcome. You've been crying... James, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. I think that's why I cried." I said hopefully, hoping that he'd understand. "And, I wanted to thank you for saving my life, twice."

He nodded warmly then turned to walk back up the hill. I said, "Ben, I mean it – thank you. Nobody gave a fuck about me. My parents – they hated my guts. I just about died, but I thought of your kindness... it reminded me that not everybody is bad."

I walked to him then put my arms around his midsection and pulled in firmly. Slowly, he put his arms around my shoulders and returned the hug.

"You just about died... but how? You looked healthy then and you look healthy now..."

"Can we sit at the picnic table? If you have time, that is..."

I told him about what had happened, and why I'd spent so much time at the lake, that it was just to get away, and have time to myself to regroup and energized for the next onslaught.

I showed him the scar where I'd been operated on.

We talked for about an hour. It was time for us to part and get on with our lives. I drew him into another hug and thanked him, again.

I'd still not been by the house so I took off in that direction. I arrived within 20 minutes. The yard was all grown up, filled with weeds and trash. I rode up the driveway, with all sorts of bad memories coming up into my mind... how dad had chased me... how he'd caught me across the street. I looked at that spot... it was almost too much to remember all at once. When I stopped just outside the kitchen door, I saw that it was open... the screen door had been torn off, the glass on the big heavy door was broken... and it was standing wide open.

The memories... they all came flooding back like molten hot lava racing down a hillside. I turned and fell off my bike as the first wave of vomiting overtook my body. I could not stop. It would not stop. Heave after heave racked my body. I thought I was going to explode into a million pieces, one vomit after another. When the worst of it passed, I laid my head down on the pavement... I wanted to cry, but couldn't do it. The tears, the sobs, they wouldn't come out. I wanted to scream, but it wouldn't come out either. All I could do was to lie there, not say anything, hiccup every now and again, and then the memories of the basement came flooding... once again, I started retching my guts up, but there wasn't anything left to vomit.

Sometime later, it was dark, I 'came to'. I was lying in my vomit. My face and hair were matted. I wondered what the fuck happened, then I remembered, then the memories came flooding back, again. They wouldn't stop. I couldn't stop them. I felt a massive explosion about to erupt. Somehow, with some last remaining strength, I stood, got my pants down as a spew of sewer gas and contents exploded onto the driveway, and wherever else... it was dark. Zapped entirely of all strength, I laid down once again because otherwise I was going to fall down. I was careful to not lie in the evidence of my stomach upsets. Laboriously, I pulled up my underwear, and then darkness, in my soul, took over, once again.

I awoke sometime later... it was still dark. Back into darkness.

The birds, the ones I'd cussed when I'd lived there, awakened me from a deep but fitful sleep. I chanced an opportunity to open my eyes. The sky was clear. The sun was just coming up over the top of the neighbor's house. The Winfield family. They were quite elderly. They'd always kept to themselves. We'd had only casual and occasional interactions with them, though they would wave when we exited the house, or were out in the yard working.

I sat up when I heard them talking out on the back patio. They'd built a nice area back there. I remembered that they had usually had their first coffee while sitting and talking about this and that. My head, fuzzy as hell, was pounding like a hammer on a slab of concrete. I quickly took inventory... my stomach felt halfway decent. My bones hurt like hell... probably from sleeping on the hard surface. I looked down into my lap... my jeans were wrapped around my ankles. My underwear was half off, half on, and they were tented out with the usual morning wood. Quickly, I stood to get myself presentable, as much as possible anyway. My clothes were caked with mostly dried vomit from the previous night.

Simultaneously, the terror that I'd experienced started to come back. I got dizzy as hell. I caught myself just as I hit the pavement, but it was too late. My head hit the concrete as did the rest of my body. I then started crying... I didn't know what I was crying about.... as I was neither happy nor sad... I wasn't feeling too much of anything, other than physical pain.

I closed my eyes. A weird thought passed through my head. A vision of blackie standing all alone out in the field took over. In the same instant, I saw him running through the field, almost like a train. His name is Coltrane. That's it. It was clear as was the sky that morning. Then darkness.

I don't know how long I lay on that hard concrete driveway, the next thing I knew was being picked up, and then laid back down when someone exclaimed, "Honey, call an ambulance."

With every ounce of strength in my being, I said, "No, I'm okay." And then I worked my way into a sitting position, grabbed for my jeans and underwear and started yanking them up toward my belly. I then opened my eyes. It was Mr. and Mrs. Winfield.

"Child, are you okay?" Mrs. Winfield gasped.

"Yeah, I think so. My head hurts but I think I'm okay." I squeaked.

"Holey moley, Cretica, this is James Talley... what are you doing here, boy? Your folks haven't lived here in months."

"James, is that you? Oh my, it is... Marvin, let's get this boy some help."

One took one arm and the other took my other one. Slowly, haltingly, they walked me into their backyard and sat me down at the picnic table. Mr. Winfield helped to get my pants back up to their rightful place, but I didn't snap them. Another wave of dizziness very nearly took me to the pavement, again, but, Mrs. Winfield put her arm around my shoulder and held me still.

It soon passed. I said, "Please call Adam. He'll come get me."

"Who's Adam? We don't know any Adam..."

"He's my friend... I've been staying there... he'll know what to do." I said, pleadingly, then a wave of cramps passed into and stayed, I had to do something... I got up, shakingly walked to the yard, off the patio, dropped my pants and exploded. "I'm sorry!" I shrieked, all that would come out though, was a feeble attempt to apologize for messing up their yard.

Mrs. Winfield disappeared into the house. Mr. Winfield walked to me, held my arm while I emptied, yet again. "I'm sorry." I gave in to the cramps, and then they passed. I pulled up my pants. He helped to fasten them securely, and then led me to the chair where I sat down, held my head down, found a blade of grass to stare at.

Mrs. Winfield returned carrying a portable phone. I gave her the number. She held the receiver to my ear. When Adam answered, I told him where I was, and to please come get me as soon as he possibly could, and to bring the truck so I could sit in the back behind the tailgate.

He wasn't happy. But he wasn't angry at me... he was worried sick, and, well, sometimes when someone is worried or afraid everything seems to come out all wrong. I know this from experience.

Twenty minutes later, he pulled up in the driveway with his Porsche. He wrapped me in a blanket... even though it was going to be a scorcher hot day; I was chilled to the bone.

As soon as we got underway, he said with gravity in his voice, "What were you doing there? What were you thinking?"

He'd never talked to me like that before... he was angry, and I decided it wasn't that he was worried, he was terrified that I'd been out all night, by myself, again.

"Adam, I'm sorry. I don't even know why I was there... maybe... I don't know..." I said, and began crying again." I tried to stop the water works, thinking of myself as a fucking goddamned baby, but it didn't work...

"You're sorry? Is that all you have to say? I've been frantic. I'm scared shitless. James, I called the police. They are looking for you. I'd thought you'd run away."

I started to explain but he waved for me to be quiet. He pulled out his phone, called 911, and told the dispatcher that I'd been found, safe and secure.

"James, I don't know what they're going to do, now. I am NOT mad at you. I'm sorry if I am coming off angry... I was worried. What happened to you? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm not hurt. Adam, I don't think I could handle it if you were mad at me." I said then bowed my head and began crying even harder, afraid that he'd turn me away. Remember, I fucked everything up, all the fucking time.

"James, stop crying, or I'm going to take you to the hospital. You're not telling me something. Out with it now!"


Adam, nearly screaming himself, said, "YOU HAVE NOT ONE GOOD GODDAMNED THING TO PROVE AT THAT FUCKING HOUSE. IT'S JUST A FUCKING BUILDING, JAMES. YOU NEED TO LET GOOD THINGS HAPPEN in your life. Not everybody is out to get or hurt you. I promised you that I'd get whoever hurt you... I swear to God I will. Now, what happened to you? Did you get sick to your stomach? Did your head spin off your body? I only ask because I was in Desert Storm I know what it's like to have PTSD... you get so scared that you piss and shit yourself, you want to fucking hit someone, you fucking want to hurt them... do you feel any of that? Do you?"


"No, James, you are NOT fucked up. You had some bad shit happen to you... and you went back there and it all happened again, James, in your head, and in your heart. You are NOT fucked up. You had no control over what happened to you, just like I had no control over what happened to me. Promise me something?"

He put his hand around my neck, squeezed lightly, I looked into his eyes, and I nodded.

"You do not have to go back to the war zone to prove anything. Promise me you'll never go there again. What they did to you has nothing to do with who and what you are. Promise me, James."

Because he was looking into my eyes, he about ran off the road. Frustrated, he turned into a quick stop parking lot, put on the emergency brake, and then turned to look into my eyes.

"I promise. I'll never go there again. Why, why did that happen? Why did I get so sick? I wasn't even in there."

"Your mind went inside, James. That's enough."

I stripped to the skin in the garage. Adam kicked them aside. He carried me into the bathroom, got the water in the tub started and then when it was about half full sat me down and began my bath by washing my hair, face and neck. He then changed water, as he would do three more times before I was bathed to his satisfaction. "Okay, I'm going to leave now. I want you to masturbate. It will help you relax. Do you feel hungry? You really need to eat something."

My stomach did kinda sorta feel hungry, at the very least it was no longer upset. I nodded, lay back in the tub and stretched my legs over the edges, reaching for my soft dick. Adam left the room, closing the door behind him.

Adam, sitting at the bar, talking on the phone motioned for me to sit next to him. I grabbed an apple, then much to his surprise, and mine, too, I sat on his lap and pulled his arms around me. He was talking to Mr. Good, telling him that I was okay, safe and sound, and basically the Reader's Digest version of what had happened.

The oven buzzer went off. I scooted down, walked to the oven, grabbed hot pads and very carefully took out hamburger steaks for us to eat. They were cooked to perfection. I was hungry!

Adam sent me to bed early that night... I'd been napping off and on all day anyway. I didn't argue, but I didn't fall right to sleep, instead, at Adam's insistence, I retrieved a pad and pen, then wrote a list of things I was grateful for.

I'm loved.

I love.

My horse – Coltrane … he looked like a train running down the field, and he was black as coal.










Wide open spaces on the farm.

Even Stacy...

On Thursday, Adam took out early in the morning. He had a photo shoot to perform down at Tulsa. That left me on my own. The previous night, I'd seen a furniture project half finished, so I dove into that right after fixing a bowl of cereal to eat for breakfast. By late afternoon, it was ready to stain so I wiped it down very carefully with a cool damp soft towel (in the rag bag) and began staining it very carefully. For being an old piece of bedside table furniture, it looked pretty darned good. I touched up a couple of places then put everything away, used turpentine to rinse the brushes, and called it a day. I took a shower, jacked off to a very satisfactory conclusion to create 'relaxation'. The clock read 5:30pm. I called Adam. He was on his way home and expected to be there within the hour. He said he'd pick up something for dinner. I then called the farm. It was the first time I'd ever called them. They'd called me a number of times.

Vera was in the middle of preparing dinner and the boys were cleaning up from working (and playing) all day. She said they'd call back later in the evening, after chores were done and baths taken.

The pool guy, Randy was his name, arrived at about 5:45. I went outside to see what I could do to make time pass quicker. Other than stretching out the hose and hooking it up, there wasn't anything else to do, so I sat down on a pool chair, watching him work. When it came for the inner work, he, without hesitation dropped his shorts and removed his shirt, shoes and socks, leaving him clad only in a red skimpy bikini pair of underwear. I took notice. So did Little James.

He was about Seth's age, maybe a year older; I don't know exactly how old he was. He was very pleasant to the eyeballs, though. Maybe 5' 2" or 3", maybe 130 pounds, muscular but not muscle-bound, tanned very nicely, had golden brown hair that shone brightly in the sunlight of the evening sun, and he wore a smile that was out of this world. And, not to forget, he had a nice bulge in the front of those almost see through threads covering a scant part of his body. He also had a nice ass. Kind of thin, not bubbly like Seth's.

"When I get in, would you toss me the net? Please." The boy asked seriously.


I got up, and then without a care in the world paraded to where he'd laid the net. He jumped in, dove to the bottom after taking a deep breath, and began cleaning the trap down on the bottom of the pool. I thought he was going to be down there forever. Just when I was really getting concerned, he surfaced, sprayed out a mouthful of air and water, grinned then came to the side where he rested.

I said, "Damn dude, you were underwater a long time... I was just about ready to come see if you were okay."

"I'm fine, but thanks." He replied grinning. I noticed that he wasn't quite looking into my eyes; instead he was looking down, like on my chest or something.

I don't know what came over me; I'd never done anything similarly, ever, in my life. I sat down on the edge and separated my legs out open wide, and then lay down on my back. It was scary, yet, the experience was exciting. He wasn't coming closer, and he didn't back off, either. I rose up my legs and spread them apart. I heard him take a deep intake of breath, and then I felt it. I laid my head back down on the concrete. At the same time, I felt my cheeks being opened, and then a scalding hot sensation ran up and down my butt crack. And then, that same hot scalding orifice tickler invaded my inner sanctum, just like that. He then lowered my legs and put them over his shoulders, and then he gave me the best blow job, ever. It was even better than Seth's, and damn, Seth gave good ones.

He then lowered my legs and swam to the other side of the pool and got busy with his job. I wondered what that was all about. I wanted to see what he had beneath those flimsy pieces of thread covering his assets.

I stood up then dove in and swam up behind him. I reached around to feel what he had up front. He pushed my hands away and said that he'd made a mistake. Of course, I countered that by grabbing hold of his throbbing pecker. It felt nice. Not too big. Not too small. Not satisfied, and encouraged by his not arguing the point, I reached inside and brought it to the outside so that it could be counted, and caressed. "Okay, just this once... I'll get my ass fired if your dad catches us."

With that said, he easily slipped out of the water, like an eel, and then grabbed my hand and drew me out. He sat down on a soft chair, skinnied his underwear down which fully exposed his pinky pucker and low hanging balls, which I found appealing. Even with Seth, I'd never licked out a butthole before... so I headed in cautiously, at first, then when he began undulating; I took that as a pleasure signal, and dove into it. Meanwhile, he was letting me know, in no uncertain terms, that he liked and appreciated the ministrations I was giving. His body was tensing up just like Seth's did when he was about to blow. I put down his legs and then took his fully erect and pulsing penis into my mouth, and then with my tongue, lips, oral cavern and hands brought him to his moment of ecstasy. His sperms tasted quite different than Seth's, in that it was saltier and slightly bitter.

Just then we heard the alarm system beep, telling me that Adam had arrived home. Quickly, the dude got up, put on his underwear then dove back into the water as he was still as hard as could be. So was I, for that matter.

I walked into the pool room, grabbed a towel and dried off, wrapped it around my midsection, then took off to see Adam. He'd stopped by our favorite Italian place. We chowed down on their famous lasagna until the busting point. There was still enough food left to last two or three days.

As we were eating, Adam filled me in on his day of work, the first real job he'd had in a while. One of the plans for that evening was to go sift through the pictures to find the ones he wanted to keep, toss, and edit so that only the best were submitted to the client.

I got dressed then we took off for the studio where he had all of the major systems. After booting the machines, he turned me loose to perform the first pass, tossing the ones I didn't like. There were 143 of the baseball uniform pictures to review. The client wanted the top 15, and 25 seconds. To be totally truthful, all of the pictures were posed; none of them were in their natural surrounds. Adam explained the client wanted their logo displayed from various angles. I suggested that he do some live stills of the boys actually playing, if they played, with the boy introduced showing the logo; followed by wide shots that included the subjects head and the uniform.

About the Speedo pictures – they absolutely sucked. I tossed them all. They, too, were posed, and well, they were all trashed. I suggested natural surroundings – introduce the swimsuits without bodies inside, include maybe 5 or 10 pictures of the boy in the swimsuit, then turn the boy into natural settings, and shoot away.

He seriously doubted the parents would permit a trip to the lake house in Oklahoma, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to accept the liability of taking them out of state.

There was only one solution.

We pulled into the lake house at 11:45 that night. The Porsche got a good workout.

Two of the 7 suits were way, way too small. There were 3 that fit perfectly. Two of them were, at least, a size or two too large.

Because we started so early in the morning, when the sun was just coming up over the horizon, and the fact that I hadn't taken complete care of the morning wood in the woods, I went to the birthing section of the boat where I twice took matters into my hands. The shoot was done in a couple of hours. The larger pairs of swim suits turned out okay. Adam suggested that I walk up and down the dock while he took several front and back shots using the wide angle lens. The smaller pairs were a 'no go' as my balls, enlarging because of advancing puberty, ended up poking out the leg openings.

All in all we had about 80 pictures to sift through. Going through them and picking out the best was made difficult because the client only wanted the top 4 and no runner ups. Adam liked them all. He commented several times that my body was filling out, and then to prove it he pulled up a few pictures from the batches taken from our shoots at the lake in Wichita. I couldn't believe the contrast. Not only was I filling out, but my skin looked much, much healthier.

With that all said and done, we took off in the boat, circled the lake a couple of times, stopped by Tony and Seth's to make sure their place was locked up tight, then I stripped to the skin, dove off the boat into the water where we goofed off for a couple of hours. The restaurant didn't open until 4pm. We were both hungry as hell, so we took off for the lake house, showered and got dressed. By that time it was a little after 4. After eating and returning, I gathered up my stuff, then we took off for the farm.

Traffic was light. When we got on I-44, Adam smiled mischievously then opened 'er up to see what she was made of. Within seconds, I looked at the speedometer and saw it pegged at 147 miles per hour. Then he slowed her down to the speed of traffic, which was 85. The toll booth operator just about had a shit fit. We'd traveled the 82 miles in just 22 minutes. Holy Sherlock shit!

The rest of the trip, on the narrow 2 lane blacktop was much more subdued, and then when we turned off on the unpaved road he took it very slow to keep the rocks and such from fucking up the paint job on his vehicle.

Adam didn't stay long; he needed to get back to do the new shoot for the baseball uniforms, scheduled early the following morning.

Dan had planned to have Coltrane shod and vaccinated before I returned, however, my horse would have no part of that, so he scheduled the vet to return Saturday morning to give the equine its shots and clear it for riding, and to make sure it was healthy.

Bedtime was early, early, like 9:00pm. I was really tired. Kevin insisted we take a bath together, which posed a bit of a problem simply because I needed to do something with the nads. I'd gotten very excited with adrenalin rush during the trip to the farm. Kevin was satisfied with my explanation that I wanted to take a crap, which I needed to do anyway, yet, unknown to him, I wanted to spend a short amount of time getting my dick tamed down a bit.

Accomplished and with a large degree of success, we took our bath. I tossed on a clean pair of tightie whitey underwear, as did Kevin, and then we took off for downstairs to spend some time with the family before going to bed.

Eric pushed the envelope by pointing out the contrast between the pearl white threads of my underwear and my skin tone, then stepped over the boundaries by pulling down the back of them, thus exposing my butt fully and completely. He whistled about the golden brown skin hue of those twin globes.

Dan severely admonished Eric's exploits against my privacy, sending him to bed without the traditional late night ice cream snack. I didn't want to say anything in front of the family. I had gathered, over the short period of time that I'd known them that the adults weren't someone to counter. No, I wasn't afraid of them, I simply felt that they expected respect and to not be questioned, like 'that'.

When I went upstairs to my room for the night, I stopped in Eric's room. He was still awake; at least I thought so because the bed covers were quickly rustled, his legs bent at the knees so that his feet were flat on the bed... I knew what that meant because I'd done it a time or two, myself.

"Can I come in?" I asked softly.

"Yeah, sure, what the hell do you want?" Eric said somewhat angrily. While his words were angry, I didn't necessarily hear anger in his voice.

I entered, closed the door. He turned on the bedside table lamp; made sure he was covered up, and then waited expectantly.

Without saying anything, I lowered my underwear to my ankles, waddled to where he could see all of me, and then swirled around, reached down, pulled my shorts up, and then without invitation, sat down on his bed. "We went skinny dipping in the ocean. Sorry you got in trouble."

Incredulously, Eric said, "You really showed all your shit to everybody?"

"There weren't too many people around... well, yes there was, but they all pretty much left by Sunday night. But yeah, it's no big deal. We really didn't care. Everybody's got the same stuff, right."

"Well, yeah, but, still... did you get sunburned, you know... your dick."

I giggled. "Nah. We were in the water most of the time. Other than when the surf went out, we were mostly underwater."

"Uhm, did you, were you hard... I mean, did other people see 'it'?"

"Well, yeah... nobody really paid any attention. It happens."

"Yeah, okay. We go skinny dipping down at the creek. I'm hard most of the time... nobody says anything. Goddamn, Thomas has a fucking tree trunk dick... uhm, do you want to sleep with me tonight... no, sorry, I didn't mean... besides, I'm na... I'm not wearing... ya know."

"Yeah, sure. No problem. Do you want me to wear something?"

"That's up to you..."

Without a second thought I shucked off my underwear, Eric moved toward the wall, I got into bed, covered up, reached for the lamp, turned it off, settled in, and lay with my hands across my stomach. I reached down, scratched those scraggly and porcupine pubes coming back in, and lazily ran my fingers across the head of my penis. It was only half-interested in being played with. I went on down, scratched the area between my nut and thigh then returned my hands to my belly.

"I named my horse Coltrane. He looks like a friggin train running out in the fields. He's coal black, too. The name just came to me... do you think it is kewl?"

"Just so you know, Dad has tried to shoot that damn thing several times. It would run. It would move its body. It would look in another direction, you know turn its head... it was the damnedest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, that's a good name." Giggling, "Dad called it The Son of Satan."

"He's no Satan!" I said emphatically.

"Chill out, dude. I couldn't believe my motherfucking eyes seeing you ride him. Blew me away, seriously. I about shit my pants. Luke did piss his pants."

"He did?"

"Yeah. He's got some problems in his head. I don't blame him, though. I guess his parents were a real piece of work. Mom and dad don't say anything about it, though."

"Is that why he won't talk?" I asked softly.

"He can't talk. Something's wrong with his neck, or something. Uhm, James, why are you here? Sorry, I don't mean to get nosy."

"Uhm, my dad about killed me. My mom – well, she's a cunt. Neither of them wanted me. I was a pain in their ass, and fucked up, too, at least they said so, but I'm not so sure, now. Your mom and dad really like me. They want me to keep coming back here. Adam and Tony are pretty kewl..."

"Tony? He's the Italian guy, right?"

"Yep. Seth is his son... he was adopted."

"I was adopted, too. Yeah, I know what you mean... I wasn't wanted either. They hated me. And they hated my little brother even worse. They fucking killed him. Yeah, they beat him half to death, then put him into a garbage can... where he... he... he... fuck, he died there, James. He fucking died there. Shit..." Eric's voice was breaking, he was sniffling and shaking.

I turned onto my side, facing him in the darkness. I said the only thing I could think of, "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how you feel..."

"I'm fucking sorry, too. I couldn't save him. I was his big brother... and I couldn't fucking help him. Fuck... fuck... fuck... damn it to fucking hell... <breaking down entirely, now choking his words between racking sobs that shook his body> I'm... such... a... goddamned... fucking baby..."

"Eric, can I... err... you know, hold you?"

Without another word said, Eric turned to face me, put his arm on top of my shoulder. I pulled him in and held him close. He took several deep, deep breaths, buried his head in my chest with his nose in the covers, and silently wept. His body was trying oh so hard to be composed, yet, I felt his pain. "Eric, I'm positive you were a good brother... What's your brother's name?"

"Shane. I could have done more, James. You don't understand. I should have taken more of his beatings, but, my ma said to stay out of it. In fact, she forced me under the stairway... I had no choice."

"But you would have taken the beatings if you could have, right?"

"Fuckin-A I would have."

"Maybe your mom... I don't know... I don't understand... maybe she was trying to protect you. Does your mom, here, protect you?"

Silently, he slightly nodded into my chest. I continued, "Does your dad, here, protect you?"

"Fuck yeah. He took care of me when that fucking horse of yours kicked my guts... James, he would have killed that fucker if he'd had a gun, I swear it. I swear to God."

We lay quietly. Eric's weeping stopped. His breathing returned to normal, and then it turned deep, rhythmical. Every once in a while, he'd take a deeper breath as he fell into sleep. I leaned my head down, kissed the top of his, and then fell off to sleep myself.

I was awakened by Eric crawling over the top of me to get out of bed. The room was filled with sunlight, and it got even brighter when he opened the curtains. I turned over. He was standing in front of the window, naked as the day he'd been born, with each of his hands on either side of the glass, just looking outside.

His hair was all helter skelter. His back, facing me, was strong, as were his butt and legs. I worked my way out of bed. He turned around about halfway, motioned for me to come to him, which I did. We stood side by side. He rested his arm on my shoulders and I put my arm around his waist and pulled him in. I don't know why I did that... maybe we weren't that different, after all.

"It's late. We've got chores to do. Maybe we can go to the creek this afternoon... it'll be hot... I can feel it in the sun."

He grabbed my hand and almost literally dragged our naked asses down the hall and into the bathroom where we peed side by side. As we were draining, Eric shocked me, somewhat, by asking, "You and Seth... do you guys get it on?"

I snickered, but didn't answer.

He said, "I thought so."

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