I suspected very little of the work I did in the next half-hour was going to find its way onto the reel.
I had just put the mask on and leveled the camera into the water, when Parker swam down to my legs and gently pulled at them. I spread them, and watched as he turned around, face up toward me, eyes gleaming with mischief.
He held onto my legs to stay down and let a few bubbles go, about half of which trickled up my legs, into my bathing suit and tickled my balls. He gently licked his finger and rubbed his own nipple for the camera, but found himself floating back up without his second hand grasping my leg.
He surfaced next to me. "Gah... it's hard to stay under."
I then remembered the other props I'd bought - I had forgotten completely about the rest of my ideas. I smiled, and gave him a peck on the lips. "I think I have just the thing."
I swam back to the shore, and he followed. I produced my father's old diving belt, and showed it to him.
"Put this on."
I handed it to him, and he nearly dropped it due to the weight.
"I... thought you said you weren't going to let me drown!" Parker exclaimed.
"It's only fifteen pounds." I said. "Big strong quarterback like you can handle that, right?"
He smiled. "Sure... but how's it go?"
"Here, let me..." I said, taking it from him, and making my way around behind him. I gently pulled the velco straps apart, and reached around his chest with them. I let my hands trace around his abs as I did.
"Second thought, maybe this isn't so bad," he said, looking over his shoulder.
I leaned my head over his shoulder and found his lips with mine. He flexed his back, leaning into me, and laughed into my mouth, just a bit. We kissed like that for awhile... I almost began to forget what we had been doing.
I finally broke apart. "How's that feel?"
"Insufficient," he said back. He rested his head against my shoulder. "Must have more."
I rolled my eyes. "I meant the belt."
"What belt?" he asked, eyes gleaming with mischief.
I pinched his ass playfully, and was pleasantly surprised by how solid it was.
"Hey, don't touch what you can't afford... I'm gonna be a rich model, remember?"
"I'm going to be a rich photographer," I pointed out. "I think I can afford you... what's your rate?"
Parker smiled. "Preferred customers may get a discount." He made his way back into the water, the weights tied to his back. He then tried to swim, but his head went underwater fast. He surfaced again, treading water.
"Wow, yeah... if I don't tread, I go right to the bottom!"
"That's the idea," I said. "It negates your natural buoyancy."
Parker stopped treading and sank like a stone. I looked at him through the mask, and saw him settle on the lake floor, gentle green weeds caressing his body. He propped his head up, under his arm, and looked up at me, lazily. He gave me the middle finger, but his eyes gleamed and his smile was bright. He then made like he was yawning, a few bubbles floated free, and closed his eyes... and pretended to sleep.
I decided to stop taking pictures, and just switch to video mode. I could do any freeze frames I liked later.
After almost a minute, he blinked his eyes, pretended like he was looking at a wrist watch, and then feigned a look of surprise. I felt another rush of blood go to my boner, and by now, the thing was starting to ache.
Parker pushed off the lake floor, breaking the surface.
He took a deep breath upon surfacing. "This is awesome!"
He didn't take long to catch his breath. He stopped treading and sank again. This time he crawled along the lake floor beneath me, and then planted his hands onto the weeds, pushing himself up. I felt his feet on my legs. Parker straightened his arms, essentially doing a handstand underwater.
His feet traveled up my legs, toward my suit. One of them ran up my bathing suit, but the other went up my bathing suit's leg... and that was when I felt his toes touch my nutsack, flesh to flesh. My entire body shook.
At once, Parker pulled back his foot and surfaced, looking worried. "Shit... sorry."
"Sorry?" I asked, arching a brow his way.
He blinked, and looked conflicted. "I... I don't know the rules here."
I laughed again. "Dude... there's no rules here. This isn't a football game."
"I mean, are you okay with it?" he continued.
"With you actually... touching me?"
Parker blushed, but nodded.
"What about if I touched you? For real?" I asked. "Would you be okay with that?"
He bit his lip, and didn't answer right away.
"It's okay if you aren't," I said. He looked at me fearfully, and I was compelled to add. "And, I'm not being passive aggressive this time either. I promise. It really is okay if you don't want to go that far." I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. "You're worth the wait."
He continued treading water, and looked down. He shivered, just a little bit. He looked back at me, breathing rapidly. He whispered. "I... I'm okay with it. I think."
I held his eye. "Wanna find out for sure?"
He pushed some water off his face. "O... okay."
I gently ran my hand down his chest, underwater. He took a deep breath. I gently worked my hand past his belly button and down to his pelvic region. We continued treading together.
His breathing was much faster now, and he was trembling. Part of me wanted to stop, but he had still voiced no objection... and part of me really wanted to keep going.
I pushed my hand beneath the waistband of his bathing suit, and slid down a little slower. Parker's breath came in labored gasps. I felt his pubes first, and not just a tiny patch of them. That surprised me: maybe he was closer to my age than I thought.
I slid my hand down a little further and felt his shaft for the first time. Rock hard as it was, it quivered a little under my touch. I ran my hand down its length, measuring as I went. Definitely five, maybe even six inches. It was about the same size as mine, and he was about a year younger.
I thumbed the head of his penis and he gasped. I could tell he was uncircumcised, just like me. I ran my finger over the slit, and could feel a slightly soapy texture even in the water. Precum.
He closed his eyes, and gently rested his forehead against my shoulder, though still kicked to keep treading.
"Still okay with this?" I asked.
"No... maybe we should..." I started to let go of him, but then he buried his face into my neck. "Oh fuck... please don't stop," Parker stammered.
I smiled and began to run my hand up and down the length of his cock. I paused for a bit to go lower, to feel his balls. They were solid little marbles, gently tucked under the base of his shaft. I rolled them around in my hand.
We drifted back toward water we could stand in and my feet settled on the bottom. Parker began breathing faster and held me tightly.
I began to jerk him off, slowly at first, and then harder. Parker's fingernails painfully duck into the back of my neck, but I was so horny that I couldn't even stop to say 'Ow.'
He squeezed his eyes shut against my shoulder. "Oh shit... oh fuck... oh my God..."
He thrashed against me, and I felt his penis jerk and shutter. I ran my hand to the tip of his cock, and felt warm and sticky juice pumping into my hand, and not just a tiny bit of it.
I continued rubbing him, fondling him gently. He never truly went flaccid again, which surprised me. He merely went to half-mast.
I withdrew my hand from his waistband, and held it up. As expected, it was sticky and white from Parker's cum.
"Great Scott..." I whispered. "I believe I found your semen."
But Parker was too emotionally and physically drained to appreciate my sense of humor. He just hugged me so fiercely and tightly, that I almost wondered if something had happened.
"Um... Voyager to Four of Four? Are you reading me?" I whispered.
He pulled back, and I saw his eyes were red with tears and his face was still pale. I dipped my hand under the water the clean it off.
"This is so wrong," He whispered. "Jesus man... what are we doing?"
I could feel my own hard-on aching, and I resented it. I knew it was selfish, but I began to get angry.
"You weren't complaining a minute ago," I snapped.
"It was... heat of the moment stuff... " He tried to pull away from me. "I gotta go."
I didn't let him go. "Oh no... you're not getting away that easy." I narrowed my eyes. "This is BULLSHIT... I told you, if you weren't okay with it... it was fine."
"I... I didn't want to make you angry," He said, and this time, he pushed away. "Let me go."
I released him.
"What's the matter?" I yelled. That was when my eyes fell on his subtle golden chain. I was shocked I hadn't looked at it more closely.
I ran my finger down it, to the front. A very small holy cross was attached to it.
"Oh I get it," I said at last. "You're Catholic."
He pulled the chain out of my hand, and began to swim back to the shore. "Presbyterian," he muttered.
"So do you believe you've sinned or something? It's okay for Adam to fuck Eve... but Kyle and Parker better not screw around because that's not part of the plan!"
"That isn't the point!" Parker yelled.
"Oh, but it is the point," I sneered. "And you know what? I'm fucking sick of it." I swam over to him, and splashed the water next to him with my hand. "All my life, I've played by their fucking rules. Like a good little soldier, I buried this part of me deep down under a heap of bullshit you wouldn't wish on a fucking serial killer."
My anger began to burn and physically hurt. "And then, just like magic... you appear out of nowhere... just as lost and confused as I am."
"You don't seem lost or confused," Parker protested. "You seem to know exactly what you want... and what you're doing."
"Oh, so am I the devil sent to test the faith of pious Parker?"
"Don't be stupid," Parker snapped back. "I just can't do this anymore. Sorry."
I narrowed my eyes and something inside me exploded. "Oh fuck you!" I seethed, and stormed over to him and shoved him hard. "FUCK YOU!" I launched him over backward into the water with a massive splash. My voice caught in my throat, as he surfaced. "You are such a selfish fucking shit."
Parker's fire returned to his eyes and he lifted himself out the water where I pushed him. "I'm selfish?" He asked at first. "I'M SELFISH?" he then roared. "Who the fuck do you think you are..."
He rushed up behind me and swung at my back, his fist glancing off my shoulder blade. I barely even felt it.
I whirled around and punched him as hard as I could in the nose. He recoiled, falling back into the water. I regretted it instantly, but I buried that regret along with everything but my anger.
"I'm not the one jerking your feelings around like a fucking kite!" I screamed. "You're in, you're out, you're in, you're out... you can't make up your fucking mind about anything!"
Parker froze, at a momentary loss for words, hand over his nose.
"Do you have any idea how scared that makes me feel?" I cried. "I told you I wouldn't let you drown... well what about me, GOD DAMN IT! Just when I think we've made a connection, you shove my head underwater and leave me to sleep with the fucking fish!"
Parker opened his mouth, but tears began to fall from his eyes. Maybe from the punch, but I doubted it.
And I was contemptuous of them. I hated those tears. Because I knew if I saw them long enough, I would forget to be mad. After all this bullshit today, he didn't deserve to have me forget.
"Yeah, cry. You cry about it..." I snapped. "Just... just leave me the fuck alone."
I stormed off the beach, leaving Parker standing there.
* * * *
I stepped into the house while my parents and Jason were eating breakfast.
"There you are," my mother said. "Where'd you go so early in the..."
I left the kitchen, stomped up to my bedroom, and slammed the door.
Once in the safety of my room, surrounded by all the books I loved, I threw myself onto the bed and began to sob into the pillows.
A rational part of my brain tried to stop me from crying. A little voice told me I was being way too hard on Parker. For Christ sake, you hadn't even known him before yesterday. How could any trust have been built? How could I *blame* him for having his doubts? For fucksake, we were still strangers.
And yet, I couldn't give an inch to that rational part of my brain. What had happened between me and Parker was unlike anything I could have imagined, and that denial and after-the-fact rejection stung more than any wound I'd ever felt.
I felt so used. I felt so cheap, I wanted to die.
I don't know how long it was before I heard a knock at my door.
"Go away," I snapped.
Naturally, the door opened. I cursed. In my anger, I'd forgotten to lock it.
My mother came into the room, looking confused and hurt.
"What's going on?" she asked.
I glared at her, resenting her intrusion. "I went outside and played Marco-Polo with the other kids. Happy?"
"What happened?" she asked.
"I got picked last for the fucking baseball team..." I snapped. "The fuck does it matter? Just leave me alone."
I had never sworn at my mother like that before, and she recoiled as if struck. I instantly regretted it, but was too mad to apologize. I hugged my pillow and stared at the wall.
"Okay," she said, nodding, smoothing her hands on her side. "All right. There's sausage omelets if you're hungry. If you... want to talk about it, I'm here."
With that, she left the room, closing the door behind her.
I stared at the wall, feeling so lost.
I don't know how much time past, everything was sorta fuzzy and hazy. I only was snapped back to reality then when my phone began to ring.
I noticed it was getting dark outside. I must have dozed off.
It was on the desk. I must have forgotten to bring it today, because I left almost everything I had brought at the lake. I slowly made my way over to it. The caller ID told me it was Parker.
I shoved the call to ignore, and barely resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room.
Awhile later, there was a very slight knock at my door.
"I said, go away!" I yelled, even though it had been almost twelve hours since the first interruption.
And, as always, that proved futile. The door opened anyway - again, I'd forgotten to lock it - and I was getting ready to yell at either my mother or my father...
... what floored me was that it was Jason.
I was so surprised, I forgot to yell at him.
He held up his phone, narrowing his eyes. Dangerously. His entire face was flushed and red.
"Parker wants to talk to you."
I felt the blood drain from my face. Oh god... what had he done... What the fuck... had Parker done...
My behavior today... plus the fact Jason's best friend was suddenly calling him, wanting to speak to me... Yeah, even someone as fucking stupid as Jason would put two and two together here. I don't care what story Parker had come up with.
I seethed in my place, not accepting the phone.
"Go on," Jason said, smiling like the Cheshire cat. "Take it." He smirked. "I wanna hear this..."
That was the frosting on the cake. There was absolutely nothing I could say to Parker that wouldn't give it all away to Jason. This was game over for me.
I reached out and took the phone, and spoke as menacingly as I could. "What."
"I don't care if he knows," Parker rushed out. "I... I don't care if I burn in Hell. I'll deal with that if it means I can have you."
I scowled and lowered the phone. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to strangle him. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to hug him... I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to hold him so badly.
I looked at Jason. Apparently, he'd either heard Parker's voice... or got it just by looking at my face.
"Aw man..." Jason said, smiling. Laughing. "Aww man... I fucking knew it."
And there was absolutely nothing I could do. I hung up the phone on Parker.
Jason rubbed his hands together. "Oh, man... this is going to be so much fun. What do you think? Facebook... then MySpace?"
I seethed and tossed his phone back to him. "I don't care."
Jason caught it and cackled, but his smile became a little less severe. "Of course you do. This is going to ruin your fucking life... I wonder if mom and dad will DISOWN you!"
I snorted, and looked at him. "You're so fucking stupid."
Jason blinked. I could see the gerbil running on its fucking wheel inside his head. It stopped, confused. He was wondering if he missed a piece of the puzzle. And he did.
A huge fucking piece.
"I have no life for you to ruin, Jason," I said. I looked at the wall. "I have no friends. No one but you and our parents even know I'm alive. I spend all day reading books." I looked back at him, and a tear fell from my eyes. I hated that. I hated being weak. "What can you possibly do to me to make my life worse? Huh?"
Jason's triumphant smile vanished in a hurry. He stood there, dumbstruck.
"Do your worst, Jason..." I said. "Because, to be honest... I just don't give a shit."
He continued to stand there. It was probably the first and only time in his life I ever saw him looked so lost. Finally, he made his way over and sat down on the corner of my bed.
"I had no idea you felt that way," He said.
I snorted. "Yeah... well, I work hard to hide it."
"Why?" He asked.
"Because it sucks," I snapped, slamming my fist on my pillow. "I hate being this way... and I hate being born like this. I hate knowing that I have this sword inside me... and if anyone knows about, they can use it to cut me into pieces."
Jason frowned, and folded his meaty hands on his lap. "I didn't think about it that way. I always thought you were... such a bully."
God, did I truly come off this way? The evidence was beginning to pile up.
I just shook my head. "I'd kill to change places with you."
"What?" he asked, shocked.
I sat up. "You're popular. You're outgoing... you're interested in sports... you have a girlfriend. People want to hang around with you. People want you to like them. You're normal. And you're going to live a great, normal life..." I shook my head. "No one wants to be around me."
"Someone clearly does," Jason observed, holding up his phone.
I shook my head. "That's a fluke. Probably not even real. Probably just some off-the-wall fucking hormones that kids our age get."
"Kids our age?" Jason asked. "Listen to yourself... you sound like you're fucking 50." He snorted. "You spend too much time reading these damn books..." He gestured around my library like room. "You don't spend any actually having fun."
I scowled, and glared at the wall.
"I don't know shit about... this shit... but this is as real as it gets." Jason held up his phone. "He pretty much came out of the closet... just so he could talk to you tonight."
I blinked, feeling the anger inside me subsiding, like boiling water after the burner was turned off.
"You gotta talk to him. He deserves that much, man," Jason snapped.
I looked at Jason, wondering if an alien had replaced his brain with someone 10x smarter... or if, like Parker, I'd just written him off as a lost cause. Like I'd written myself off. And everyone else in the world.
When I didn't respond, Jason must have taken it for more stubborn refusal. He snorted and dropped his phone on my bed.
"Here's a thought. Being gay doesn't stop Parker from being cool. What's your excuse?" He snorted. "Being gay is the least of your problems."
Without waiting for me to answer, he left.
I looked toward his phone and sighed. He was absolutely right. My god... my stupid ass brother was actually a genius.
I thought I had it all figured out, didn't I?
Then what was my fucking excuse... because Parker's been gay all his life, and he was even more popular than Jason.
Maybe I knew jackshit. Maybe I was the moron.
I picked up the phone.
* * * *
I found it odd that Parker wanted to meet me at Stetmen's Lake, but it made sense. With the sun nearly down and a slight chill in the air, we would have the place to ourselves again. I was almost certain of it.
I arrived before he did, and sat down on the empty beach, arms around my legs. This entire day. My god. I was emotionally drained. I felt like I had been run over by a bulldozer, and put back together by a group of preschoolers, just shoving together any part that looked right with another.
My cock ached. I suppose I should have called my doctor for an erection that had lasted more than four hours, but I was pretty sure I must have lost my hard-on somewhere between when I'd thrown Parker out of my life and told my mother to essentially fuck herself.
The sun set, and I could hear the sounds of the forest and lake all around me. With a bright, full moon out, crickets chirping... everything was very peaceful. At least everything outside of me.
I sort of lost track of time, staring out over the water. Maybe even went into a sort of dazed trance, as the events of today repeated in my head like some bad carnival song.
"I'm surprised you came," I heard his voice.
I didn't even bother looking toward him. "I got some advice... from a very unlikely source."
"Jason can surprise you, if you let him," Parker said. "Can I join you?"
I finally looked up and saw Parker framed by the moonlight. I immediately thought of an angel, descending from on high. Though his face was backlit by the moon, I knew it well enough to put it there myself. God, I hadn't even known him for two days... and yet, it was as though I'd known him forever.
"Free country," I muttered.
Parker sat down next to me, looking cold and alone. I wanted to put my arm around him, but found I couldn't. There we both sat, looking like two lost little somethings, just waiting for this turbulent ride to end.
"How's your nose?" I asked, in a way that made the question sound nasty.
"Just fine." Parker snapped. "You punch like a faggot."
I snorted. I had to admit, I loved his wit.
"You're an asshole, you know that?" Parker asked.
"No, really," Parker began. "You're cruel. You're vindictive. You're trite... petty... sarcastic... condescending... you're totally unforgiving... you lack any sort of social skills... and you're about as unfriendly as a constipated bull..." He narrowed his eyes. "And I think I'm in love with you."
He looked out over the water.
I glared at him.
"Yeah? And you're immature, naïve, emotionally retarded, completely indecisive... ridiculously self-absorbed, absolutely unpredictable and unreliable... and you're a total fucking coward..." I followed his eyes out over the water. "And... now that you've entered my life, I can't imagine living a day without you."
Silence for a few moments after that.
"Interesting pair we make." Parker grumbled.
Parker looked my way, and gently rested his head on my shoulder. "Can you forgive a completely indecisive, totally self-absorbed coward?"
I looked to him, and gently slipped my hand into his, interlocking our fingers together. "If you can forgive a sarcastic, vindictive, petty... constipated bull."
Parker's smile returned, he looked up at me, with those sparkling blue eyes. In the moonlight, they looked like magic. "Moo?"
I put my arm around him and held him tight. I kissed the top of his head. "Don't push it."
The emotional exhaustion of the day deepened, and I was so drained that I could think of nothing I'd rather do than hold Parker and just zone out. But I needed to know one thing first.
"Talk to me about what happened today," I said.
Parker tensed under my touch. "You were kinda right... about the religion thing. My... well, my parents are really traditional. And I mean really... really... traditional." He shifted on the beach. "Like... I mean... my father's a priest."
"Say... what?" I glanced at him, arching a brow. "I didn't think priests were allowed to... you know..."
"Presbyterians are," Parker said. "Anyway, I was going great, but then I imagined what would happen if he found out about us."
"Okay," I had to admit. I'd probably have my fears if I were in his place. "What about you though? Are you... really traditional?"
Parker shrugged. "I was, I guess, but over the last couple of years... I stopped talking to Him," He closed his eyes. "It's hard to love a God who'd see you burn in hell for being who you are." He opened his eyes again and looked at me. "I asked my father once if all gay people go to hell... you know what he said?"
"No," I answered.
His tone took on a bitter note. "Those who live a chaste life and don't... 'partake in homosexual acts' will still be blessed." He scowled. "So if I dropped dead tonight, I'd burn for all eternity. Does that seem fair to you?"
"You don't want to get me going on the sheer stupidity of almost any religion," I promised. "Trust me."
"Yeah well... as far as I'm concerned, there's one thing I need to do..."
I glanced at him. "What?"
"I believe I need to make a reservation." He gently walked his fingers up my leg. "Care to join me in hell?"
"Sounds hot," I said. "You sure though?
"I'm down 0-1... can't let you keep the lead," Parker cooed.
"And what about God?"
Parker raised his middle finger to the sky. "Right back at you, big guy. You made me this way... now watch and learn, pervert."
We both laughed.
Parker gently ran his hand over the bulge in my pants. Heat rushed from my head to my groin, and suddenly, I wasn't all that tired. The whole time, I searched his face and eyes, looking for any indicator that this was a joke, or that he was going to leave.
I was rewarded with nothing but the confident twinkle in his blue orbs that I'd so grown to love.
"Lie back," he whispered. "Your turn to be the model."
I smirked. "Of course, boss..." and leaned back.
Parker gently slid on top of me and lifted my shirt. He pulled it up, over my head, but left it over my nose and eyes.
I smiled. "So, why do you get to see me, and I don't get to see you?"
I could feel Parker's breath over my face. "Because it's your sexy body on camera, not mine."
I felt his lips press against mine, and he kissed my chin. He kissed my throat, kissed one of my nipples, licking it with his tongue...
I began to shiver with pleasure, feeling my cock gorging. I then felt a single finger run its way across my belly button. Gently, Parker eased his way down into my pants.
I felt his small, nimble fingers play around in my pubic hair, and finally take hold of my penis. He explored its length with his hand, moving down to my base and over my uncircumcised head.
"My God," Parker asked. "What have you been feeding this thing?"
"Mostly asian porn and my left hand," I admitted.
"Mmm, I can see why it's so malnourished..."
I laughed. "Fuck you."
He continued pumping me with one of his hands. He leaned in toward my mouth. "No, tonight, I get to do the fucking... and you..." He ran his finger across my mouth. "... get to enjoy it."
"You drive a hard bargain," I said, gently licking his finger.
My hips began to thrust on their own, as I fucked Parker's hand.
"Not quite as hard as you do... at least right now."
I laughed, and my pleasure intensified. I suspected the banter made it even more good for me, and I bet Parker figured that too. I was a mental creature, and we both knew it.
"Little Kyle isn't giving you any trouble, is he?" I asked. "You have my permission to spank him if he is."
Parker laughed and responded by squeezing me harder, and then giving my penis a soft slap. I gasped in pleasure, and he did it a few more times, just for fun.
He then ran his hand down to my nutsack. He jiggled it with his finger. "Jesus Christ, what do keep in here, bowling balls?"
Again, I laughed and regretted it. I was getting so horny that air was a precious commodity, and wasting it laughing was just inefficient. I began to get very light-headed.
He continued pumping and I found myself gasping harder and harder. I grabbed the sand of the beach next to me, and my body began to shake. My entire world felt like it was exploding in color. Faster and faster he went, and I wondered just how much more blood my cock could take before exploding itself.
I couldn't tell how much I'd shot, but whatever he had been doing had made me blow every bit I had. I nearly cried out with ecstasy. Parker didn't stop pulling on me until I had deflated almost completely. He removed his hand from my bathing suit.
"Fuck me..." Parker laughed. "Clean up, Isle 4."
I removed the shirt from my eyes so I could finally see, and I was shocked. Literally, every one of Parker's fingers were covered with my jizz, and it was dripping off his hand.
"Okay, either you were suffering from the biggest case of blueballs in the history of blueballs... or you and a wooly mammoth have WAY too much in common!" Parker exclaimed, flicking his hand at me, splattering me with a coating of my own medicine.
I laughed, and gently wrapped my arms around him, and took him down beneath me. He laughed as his back went into the sand, and my shirtless body pressed into his clothed one. He smeared his jizz-coated hand against my face playfully.
"Any regrets?" I asked.
"Yeah," Parker said, looking up at me, eyes sparkling again in the moonlight. "That it took fourteen years to meet you."
I smiled, and kissed him gently.
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