Secrets

by Victor Thomas

Chapter 8

I was treated like a hero the Monday after our victory over the Wildcat's. I'd subbed in as quarterback several times in the past, but never for almost an entire game. Most of my classmates acted as if I'd won the game single handed. It was as much of a rush as scoring a touchdown!

So, this is what I can look forward to next season, I thought. I couldn't wait. Damn! Next year I'd truly have it all. I was damned close now and I was enjoying every second of it. My life was so incredible it was almost scary. I wasn't going to be frightened by good fortune, however. Hell, I'd made this happen. I'm the one who worked out like mad, and I'm the one who was smart enough to topple Paxton from his spot as top dog. I deserved this.

Devin was okay with sharing the spotlight. He was a team player and major football freak. I knew he would have rather been out there leading the fight himself, but because he couldn't, he was happy to have me take over, especially considering that I'd won.

Paxton was not pleased. In fact, he was fuming. He didn't dare lash out at me, but he was obviously pissed off that I'd forced him to fake an illness. He was just going to have to get used to it. I wouldn't shove him out of the way all the time. I wanted him to get that football scholarship, after all, but I also intended to lock up the quarterback position for myself. It was too damned valuable not to do everything I could do to grab it.

My day was near perfect, as was practice, then work. It was so perfect that you'd be bored out of your mind if I told you about it. Paxton showed up at about half past nine to do his duty as ordered. I was in desperate need and the place was empty, so I closed up half an hour early. He was growing more accomplished every time he got down on his knees. I was increasing my control, so I was able to prolong the enjoyment for a good long time. When I finally did cut loose, the feeling of release was all the more exquisite. My moans filled the locker room.

My perfect day fell in ruin when I arrived home. The first hint that something was up was Carson's car in the driveway. I wondered why he didn't just return to the gym if he wanted to see me. Perhaps he was after a piece of my mom's chocolate cake. He was crazy about it. He never turned it down and I'd arrived home on more than one occasion after school to find him in the kitchen eating cake and talking to mom.

There was no sign of anyone in the living room, so I walked into the kitchen. It was empty. A queer feeling fell on me, but I didn't think much of it. I took a few slugs of milk from the carton and made for my room. I hoped Carson wasn't messing around on my computer. I was always careful to keep anything the least bit gay hidden, but what if I'd forgotten to delete my internet history or something like that. The last thing I wanted him to find out was that his best friend was gay. That could end things between us real fast, and worse, he might talk.

My room was bathed in darkness. I flipped on the light, no sign of him. I scratched my head. This is getting weird. Where the hell could he be? I turned and walked toward mom's room. Perhaps she could tell me why his car was in the driveway. Her door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open.

"Hey, mom, have you… what the fuck!"

My voice raised an octave as I spoke.

My mouth dropped open in shock at the sight of Carson's nude butt thrusting toward my mother as she lay on her bed. He jumped up and whipped around at the sound of my voice. He was completely naked! I didn't want to see anymore. What I'd seen already was enough to scar me for life. In a way, it was almost worse than seeing Shayne blow his brains out. I turned quickly and ran down the hallway, through the living room, and into the kitchen. I braced myself against the sink as my mind reeled.

A few moments later I heard footsteps running down the hallway, across the living room, and out the front door. I caught a glimpse of a shirtless Carson jumping into his car. He took off as if the cops were after him.

I just stood there in a daze. Mom and my best friend. How could this be possible? I was in a state of complete shock. I don't know how much time passed, probably only a couple of minutes, but I heard mom coming toward the kitchen. She entered moments later, wearing her long robe. I tried not to stare at her.

She didn't look at me, she just walked to the coffee pot, filled it with water, put in a new filter, a couple of scoops of coffee, and turned it on.

"Mom?"

"My coffee will be finished in just a couple of minutes. Would you like anything?"

"An explanation, perhaps," I said, sarcastically.

"Don't get smart. We're going to talk about this, but I need my coffee to calm my nerves."

I took a glass from the cabinet, filled it with ice, then emptied a can of Coke into it. I usually just drank it straight from the can, but I needed something, anything, to do to fill those awkward moments. I sipped my Coke and looked out the kitchen window.

"Have a seat, Bryce," she said a few minutes later, filling her cup with steamy coffee.

The aroma wafted over the table as we both sat. I'd always loved the smell of coffee, but hated the taste.

"I'm sorry you had to find out about this," she said.

"So, you intended to just keep fucking my best friend behind my back?"

"Watch your mouth, Bryce."

"Sorry."

"I was afraid that if you knew the truth you'd be hurt, and the last thing I want to do is hurt my son. That's why I've kept it a secret from you. We all have our secrets, don't we, Bryce?"

She was gazing at me as if she could see inside me. I feared for a few moments that she knew that I wasn't like other boys. I refused to be distracted, however.

"But my best friend! He's my age, sixteen! He's young enough to be your son!"

"I don't see where age has anything to do with this."

"Is this because of dad? Did you start fu… seeing a young guy because he ran off with that teenage girl?"

She crossed her arms for a moment and looked thoughtful.

"Maybe that's part of it, but there's a lot more to it than that."

"How long has this been going on, mom?"

"Since about a month after your father left us."

"Two years?" I asked incredulously. "Mom! You and Carson were… when he was fourteen? That's illegal!"

"I'm not proud of what happened, Bryce, but once it started…"

"Who started it? What happened? What'd you do, ask him if he'd like a piece of cake and a piece of ass?"

"Don't be so vulgar, Bryce."

"Are you going to answer me or not?"

"You know, Bryce, this is my private life we're discussing. I don't have to tell you anything. It isn't right for a mother to be discussing her sex life with her son."

"Well, it's not right for a mother to have sex with her son's fourteen-year-old best friend!"

"It happened one afternoon when he was visiting you. The two of you had been lifting weights in your room with that old weight machine you used to have. Your girlfriend called with some big emergency, I don't remember her name, and you tore out of here. Carson was going to leave, but we got to talking, so he stayed. We ended up sitting here at the kitchen table. He was having a slice of cake and a glass of milk. He still had his shirt off and, despite his age, was very sexy."

I closed my eyes for a moment. I did not want to hear my mom talking about Carson like this, but I needed to know what happened.

"We were just talking. He told me how he'd always though t I was beautiful. I don't know; I guess I just needed to hear that from a man, well, a boy in his case, but I was feeling down and unattractive. When your father ran off with that girl… well, I can't explain how it made me feel, but it hurt. Carson was kind to me. He sensed I was upset and he hugged me. One thing led to another, and, well, it's not proper to give you details, but that's when things started."

"I'm sorry, Bryce. I didn't mean for it to happen, but I was so lonely, so hurt, I needed someone to love me, someone to find me attractive, and Carson was… well, let's just say enthusiastic in his attentions toward me."

I was angry with my mother for carrying on with my best friend. I was dumbfounded by it as well. She was a lonely woman, though, and I'd never thought much about her emotional needs. Well, I had, but clearly not enough. I knew she was hurt when dad left, but I guess I didn't really understand just how badly that had messed her up.

"I don't know what to say."

"I know this is upsetting for you, Bryce, but as I said, we didn't mean for it to happen. I thought about breaking it off time and time again, but… I guess I just needed him."

"Couldn't you have found a guy closer to your age?" I asked.

"It's not that easy, Bryce. I'm not the most attractive woman around and…"

"You're beautiful, mom. You just don't realize it."

"Thank you dear."

"Well, this isn't exactly easy for me, but I guess you're right about one thing at least; your private life is your business, not mine. I'd just as soon we not talk about this anymore, and I'd appreciate if the two of you… well, I'd just rather not see you together being… intimate."

She nodded.

"You're not going to marry him, are you?" I asked.

She laughed.

"No, Bryce, at least not until he finishes high school and college."

I didn't know quite what to make of that.

"Are you ashamed of me?" she asked.

Her eyes pleaded with me for understanding and acceptance.

"I'm not ashamed of you, mom. This is going to take a heap of getting used to, but I guess I understand, in a way."

She got up, pulled me to her, and hugged me.

"I need to get some homework done," I said. "Good night."

"Good night, dear. I love you."

"I love you too, mom."

I walked to my room, still in a daze. I'd often thought how mortified I'd be if mom walked in and caught me jerking off, but this was way worse. I wasn't the one who'd been caught, but… my mom and my best friend. It blew my mind.

They'd been going at it for two years, right under my nose. How could I not have noticed? I felt like a fool, and that angered me. A lot of stuff began to make sense, like how I often found Carson waiting on me when I got home. No wonder he was already here, he'd been doing my mom! He had requested his shift to end an hour before closing at the gym. Was that so he could do it with my mom before I got home? I thought it likely. This was the first time I'd come home early from work. Did they do it every night?

I tried not to let myself think of the details, the actual acts they performed. I hoped to god they limited themselves to mom's bedroom. What if they'd don it on the kitchen table or in my bed? It was too sick to even contemplate.

The thought that my mom had actually been carrying on with an underaged boy disturbed me. Sure, he was sixteen and legal now, but he hadn't been most of the time they'd been going at it. He was fourteen when they started! She could go to jail for something like that!

I couldn't think of my mother as a child molester. I was sure that Carson had been more than willing. Hell, no wonder he was always so fucking happy. He'd been getting laid on a regular basis, which most boys his age could only dream of. What mom did was wrong, but it's not like she'd forced him. She wasn't some pervert who offered kids candy to get into her car. She was a lonely woman who'd been hurt by what my father had done to her.

It was going to take some getting used to, but I wasn't angry with her. I was shocked, but not angry. Carson was another matter. He was some best friend. I wondered if he really liked me or if he just dropped by in hopes of a quickie with my mother while I was in the bathroom. He loved to spend the night with me. I wondered how many times he'd snuck off to do my mom while I was sleeping. It was like something one might read about in a tabloid.