A story (C) 2002/2003 by ZUSTARA ORUR. Contact address: firstname.lastname@example.org 2.0 May not be redistributed, commercial use prohibited!
English is a second language to me, so please excuse any goofs present herein regarding grammar, spelling. I try to do the best I can!
Legal mumbo-jumbo BS: this story features explicit descriptions of sexual acts between consenting male youths. The story is fictional, and only took place in my mind. If this sort of thing bothers you; you are under-age (and anybody cares about it); reading this story happens to be illegal wherever you may be right now; etc, please STOP READING. I won't get in trouble, but you might, who knows. If all is hunky-dory, feel free to continue, if that is your wish.
Also note that this is a real STORY centering around love rather than sex, those mainly interested in long descriptions of copulation and such may want to look elsewhere.
SPECIAL DEDICATION: My love and sincerest gratitude goes out to Dwayne, Pointblue, Daniel, Caeru, Blue, Taryn, Leonard, Warp1, Ryan, Ratatosk, Michael, Odius, Squidsgerbil, Tamsyn, Maxy and Genesis, all of you listed in reverse order of appearance, just to be a bit different. *Grin!* Special thanks to Jalaki for approving my posts in a prompt and regular fashion, my close friend IOMfAtS for looking over my stories and hosting them on his incredible website and finally, Comicality for having created the Library forum. Visit it at http://www.voy.com/17262/, read a story and give an author some comments. We all love it, please come and share the fun!
Chapter Seventeen - Brazil's Realization:
I looked at Brazil's pretty face and saw tears leak from his eyes even as they were closed. I kissed him, and then his hands tightened as they held on to my arms. "Don't stop... Please. Don't stop. My mother used to sing this to me... I'm sure she did." I immediately wanted to ask him about it, but he wanted me to hum more for him, so I did, holding him tight, fondling his tight package gently. We sat like that 'til I had hummed the lullaby all over again a second time and then I nibbled on his earlobe with my lips.
"You okay now, Brazil?", I asked, and saw his face was just streaked with tears.
"I just remembered...", he said in a thick voice. "Thank you Nate, I-I just remembered...!"
I held him, brushing my lips against his cheek, then he turned towards me and we smoooooched for a long long time without breaking contact, all until he ran out of air and simply had to break off to breathe. I felt proud of him for being able to find a lost memory again. Maybe there were more to be found inside his pretty head? I buried my nose in his braids and breathed.
All I felt was contentedness, he had turned around so we were facing each other and could smooch more easily, though we didn't. Well, a little, sure! That goes without saying, but then we just existed for a few short moments until I heard the most dreaded sound you don't wanna hear when you're close to someone that is very dear to you. It wasn't a loud sound, but it was a distinct one, there was no doubt of the source it originated from. It was just a tiny little sound, really. 'Paaaaarpp...', it went and I felt Brazil stiffen up. Then there was a most distinct smell that so often accompanies that sound.
"Brazil!", I couldn't help blurting, it was so funny. He was totally beet red under his light tan and wanted to hide away I knew it.
"Sorry Nate, I tried to stop it but I couldn't...!" I giggled and tried to stand up. He hung on to me, emitting a muted "Ow", as we got up. His head was still awfully tender.
I chuckled all of a sudden. "It's no more than you deserve. Ugh!" He actually gave me a wry smile, glad I wasn't angry at him for breaking the good mood we'd built.
We went out of my room (after opening the window a hair, which made us both laugh a little), I took him to the kitchen door to our back yard. "Some summer air will do you good", I said. I had a plan in my head, and it was a really nice one. "We don't have a swimming pool, but that doesn't mean we can't read some comics and stuff together, right? Wait here, I'll be back soon." Brazil's head nodded in reply as I bounded off back into the house again.
There was a whole bunch of stuff none of us had bothered unpacking from our old home after the move, stuff we figured we'd grown out of both me and dad. Me because I figured it wasn't something I should be doing anyway now that I was a teenager, and dad... Well, I think it simply reminded him too much of his ex-wife. There was this one particular box... I started rummaging around, trying to find what I was looking for. I noticed a movement behind me so I stopped my search but didn't need to turn around since I knew who it was. Then a voice spoke to me, it was my dad of course.
"Hey... I'm leaving now. You guys try not to burn down the house or anything like that, okay?" Dad works Saturdays too, but only short days; just six to eight hours or so, usually no more than that! He does most of the bookkeeping and payment of salaries on Saturdays, as well as placing orders (the internet's a great thing he says, previously he had to do all that by long phone conversations), stuff like that.
"Dad... Can I ask you something?", I told him quietly.
He sensed I needed a talk, so he stepped up close to me and kneeled down behind me as I pretended to keep looking for whatever it was I was trying to find. "Sure son. What's on your mind?"
"Why... Why're you so calm and forgiving and everything about all this? I mean... Many kids, their dads would kill them if they said they're gay!"
He kinda chuckled, as if he thought I was about to ask him a DIFFICULT question.... "Don't worry. Us guys gotta stick together, huh?!" He chuckled again and ruffled my hair, trying to make me feel more at ease but it just had the opposite effect instead.
"I'm SERIOUS! Come on dad, quit joking around, I'm serious here."
He sighed, knowing he had to answer me truthfully. "Nathan, I think I'd be lying if I said I was completely HAPPY about it, but I guess you know that already." He placed his hands on my shoulders so I'd know he was there, supporting me. "I don't really mean I'd rather seen you were at least pretty much straight and dated girls and such. What I'm trying to say is, being gay can be very dangerous sometimes. There are people who need someone or something to hate to make themselves feel better everywhere, even in a laid-back city such as this one. I WORRY about you, I don't ever want to find myself talking to a police officer saying you've gotten yourself all beat up or something like that!"
He hugged me. "Dad... I don't know what to say. I can't change who I am... I AM me, I don't know how to be anyone else, please don't ask me something like this...!"
"I know, my boy... I know. I won't ask you to" He hugged me again, making me calm down once more. "Anyway, I've seen this coming for years. I knew this was the way your life would turn out maybe a week after you meeting Ali for the first time, I've really had a long time to get as comfortable as I can with the idea. I had to work hard to shield you from your mother however. Yes, she knew too, even though only subconsciously, and she wasn't very happy about it." He sighed again, even more heavily. "I know this isn't easy, it's not exactly what you wanted to hear, but I had to tell you some day. Might as well be today I guess. Anyway, just in case I've never said this before, you're my SON, and I LOVE YOU. I can't ignore that, can't ignore YOU, simply because some parts of society think I should." He hugged me gently from behind again. "I've got an obligation to care for you and raise you as best I can, a responsibility I was set with the moment I conceived you and you started growing in your mother's womb... If anything, there's at least a fifty-percent chance you inherited your gay genes from me, so how could I ever hate you? I'd be hating myself as well! In short, I love you my son. I've always loved you, even before you were born I loved you. Don't worry okay? You're safe here with me, and try not to be too angry with your mother, alright? She can't help feeling the way she does, and she DOES care about you deep down. I know she does." He hugged me again and kissed my neck softly, which fortunately had stopped peeling and healed up nicely several days ago. I was back to my ordinary paleness, ready to get red and flaky all over again!
"Thanks dad..." I hung with my head, knowing I needed to digest that information first before I could handle it properly. Had mom KNOWN? Ali and I had only been boyfriends for...what? Nine months maybe? Sure, we'd loved each other for way way longer, but he hadn't been mature enough to handle our love openly before then. Actually, he hadn't really handled it that well even then, but I don't know how else to put it.
He hugged me lightly one final time and ruffled my hair. "Okay, now I really gotta go. Be good now son alright?"
"Yes dad, I will."
He chuckled, as if he just realized something and thought that was kinda funny. "Actually... I think it's this one you're looking for", he said in an amused voice and pulled away a paper bag full of folded-up curtains, then leaned towards the back of the pile and hauled out a medium-sized cardboard box for me. He sat it down on the floor with me almost jumping of joy, thanking him! He went out of the room chuckling to himself as I tore into the box, trying to find some cool stuff for us to read. I hit a brick wall almost immediately though, it was so long ago I had no idea which comic was cool or not! In the end, I just pulled up a big bunch of magazines from the top and returned to the kitchen maybe five minutes after dad had left me.
"Your dad went to work a little while ago", Brazil said calmly, sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, swinging his sexy legs. He was out of his underwear again I noted to myself. "He said we could have whatever we wanted in the fridge to eat if we somehow could find anything fit for human consumption - which he doubted - or nuke something out of the freezer instead."
I gave him a smile. Yes, that sounded exactly like my dad... "I figured as much actually, but I'm far from hungry now. Come on, let's get out in the sun alright?"
He looked down at himself. "Hm, guess I'd better put on my underwear again..."
A giggle escaped from me. "Only if you think you absolutely have to, cutie...!"
He blushed a little I think. "Well I don't know if your neighbors are old dried-out retired people or not... Maybe someone would object to seeing a naked butt from across the fence?"
"They sure wouldn't complain if it was YOUR naked butt they saw...!", I said and gave him a lewd grin. That made us both giggle crazily, but he still thought it best if he got dressed again. He stood up as I looked at him. His cute dickie did again seem a little thicker than usual, seemed to poke out just a little more than I was used to, and without really thinking I stepped over to him before he had a chance to bend down to put his briefs around his shapely legs. I clasped his dickie in my hand, held it, then rubbed it gently, trying to see if he would bone up in my hand or not. Squeezing it gently, it did feel a bit less spongy than I was used to, slightly firmer than normal. He giggled at receiving such attention, just standing there and letting me do my thing, even letting me kiss him. Ali would have freaked had I done the same to him, but somehow I sensed he sent his silent approval this time...
It was pretty clear he would not get hard, I must have fondled him at least a minute and kissed him like ten times, but though I could see the pleasure on his face - and lots of it - he didn't rise up towards me. I finished by kissing him long and good a final time so he would not feel awkward. "Damn, you're hot", I whispered as I detached from his lips.
"You think so?", he said with a slightly embarrassed grin, then one foot went inside a leg-hole, then the other and he started to wriggle into his briefs. I held my eyes fixed on his dickie. He raised them up so the front edge pushed up his shaft up a little as he worked the item of clothing up over his shapely buns. His dickie wiggled back and forth with the motions of his body, and it must have been my imagination, but I could have sworn he seemed to start getting bigger as he was hiding himself away... Before I got a good view of him however, he was all gone, disappeared out of sight.
"Okay, let's go!", he said with a big grin.
"I'll carry the comics, you go to the fridge and bring that bottle of mineral water okay? We need to keep you topped up, to clean out your system."
He giggled. "Aw man, if I drink a single drop more, I'm gonna piss like the Niagara falls!"
It sounded so funny I just had to laugh. "Somehow I seriously doubt that! Oh, and grab two cups, they're over there in that-"
"It's okay, I know. They do have glass doors Nate, I can see for myself!" We giggled again and I slapped his bum playfully as he got up from his chair and walked past. He giggled and pulled up his underwear a bit further, exposing more soft skin to my eyes... He swished with his hips in a really sexy manner as he walked those few steps, then got a cup for us each and the bottle.
I gathered up the magazines again. "Alright, let's go now", I said in a commanding voice and we both giggled again.
In the far corner of the yard were a row of blackcurrant bushes towards the neighbor down the street. Towards the neighbor on the opposite street was the compost box where dad had me dump all the weeds I'd pulled out after my confusing weekend with Brazil. In a row parallel to the blackcurrants were a whole bunch of those gangly stalks that raspberries grow on, tied up to a wooden lattice. It created a sort of green room, hidden away from the rest of the world. We were completely invisible except towards our house once we sat down on the lawn, right there in the grass.
We put down all our stuff first and then arranged ourselves side by side so that we touched. There was no need to pretend, or do things slightly hidden. We poured each other a glass of water, then we grabbed a magazine and started reading. I guess it must have been at least fifteen, maybe even twenty...SECONDS...until our hands touched. He put his over mine and started to caress it.
"Nate, I love you", I heard him whisper really really quietly. I just smiled, I didn't want to embarrass him. We didn't speak, we kept reading instead, letting our bodies touch just a little. When we finished our first issues, Brazil looked at me. "Nate... Do you think it would be okay if... If we, uh, get naked? I mean, nobody could see us here, right?"
The only sounds we heard were those of nature, birds, the wind et cetera, beyond that was a distant hum of cars, and a very light sprinkle of kids' voices playing in the early morning but they were all pretty far away. "Um, well, no. Not unless they walk up right to the corner of their gardens, I guess..."
He smiled. "So it would be okay then?"
"Alright! Let's do it!" We giggled enthusiastically, then I silenced us both. "Ssshhh! We gotta be quiet so nobody can hear we're here...", I said and then we giggled more.
Brazil put on a theatrical frown and went, "Ssshhh... Be weewy weewy quiet... I'm huntin' wabbits...!", as he did a little pantomime, pretending to look around, holding an imaginary shotgun. We both almost shrieked with laughter for a few seconds, then tried to contain it, only to have it come bubbling back out again despite the agony it caused my boyfriend! I went silent at once though as soon as Brazil slipped out of his briefs... Oh my god... He is SO gorgeous. Too gorgeous! He shook his head just a little, making his mass of braids dangle as he looked at me seductively from under his eyebrows. I couldn't stop myself licking my lips, and that made him smile! "C'mon, Nate! You too, I wanna see your bare butt now!" He giggled again of course and jabbed a finger in my ribs, urging me on. He kept on doing it until I was all done getting out of my boxers, it was annoying even as it was fun actually. I quickly rolled back on my stomach, I wasn't really hard, just kinda semi-erect, but I still didn't want to wave my dick at the entire world. Brazil understood and laughed! He laid on his side looking at me with his cute dickie hanging down all soft and sexy. "Nate, you know what?", he then said having given me a good look-over. "You too have a great ass", he said without a hint of shyness or shame, then reached out and patted it a couple times just for effect.
I kinda jerked, suddenly remembering the conversation we'd had that day we went to the movies together. It seemed so very long ago now. "Thanks...", I said, feeling very flattered and very happy. Then we both got close together again, had a gulp of water (because it was getting kinda hot in the morning sun) and grabbed another magazine from the pile. Brazil got one with the Justice League, I got the first issue of "Bio-Booster Armor Guyver", some manga dad picked up second-hand for me when I was home sick with pneumonia a bunch of years ago. Brazil gave his comic a cursory glance and then decided what I was reading was just way, way cooler.
"Hey! That one looks great! It's one of those Japanese comics, right?", he said with big eyes, worming in closer. Teasing him, I turned away from him so he'd have a harder time leeching off my comic. He whined a complaint and inched closer still, which was exactly what I wanted. I propped up an arm to block his view even more, and then he started sliding up on my body... Yeah, Brazil... Do it, come on. More... Please. More! He didn't stop until he was lying right on top of me, as naked as I was of course. He had his arms down on each side of my chest to support himself, I felt him wiggle his body a little to make himself "fit" better with me, then he nibbled my earlobe and giggled softly through his nose. "Now you can't stop me anymore", he said, rubbing his cheek against mine. "I'm gonna read your comic whether you like it or not!"
"No Brazil, I can't stop you...", I said with a sigh. It felt amazingly good to have him there, his privates all packed in at the base of my butt, his firm tummy stretched out over my back, his chest pressing down on me so I could feel the beats of his heart. It felt so nice I didn't even get a hard-on, I just laid there and felt him, felt the trust and friendship in him, felt the love. "You don't mind this...? Being near me, I mean", I mumbled.
He squeezed himself in tighter to me. "Of course I don't. You accept me."
"But WHY? You always shied away before when I tried to touch you for real..."
Brazil sighed deeply. "Nate, I realized something during the days we weren't close, I realized I've done all this once before, the closeness, the touches. I had just sort of forgotten about it... There was this other boy when I was eleven or twelve... His name was Jack, he didn't come from anywhere around here, and he was like you. I don't mean 'like you' as in gay. He saw me as the person I am now, he didn't know about the drunk driver that hit me when I was a kid or any of that stuff. I kept touching him just like I do with you, I didn't really understand why until last week. I touched him and he kept getting boners all the time... He explained it away of course, well, all until one day when he did tell me he was gay and I became so shocked I didn't know what to do. We stopped talking and a while after that he moved away with his parents, but I knew I'd known all along. Even from the first time we met... He was gay, and he made me feel safe." He sighed again. "I didn't feel the pressure to be all that a girl wants a guy to be in order for her to like him. I could just be me, and he liked ME. He liked it when I touched him. That made me feel good too. You're right Nate, a part of me touches you because I wish you were a girl, and that I had the courage to approach girls and be with them, but I came to realize after we became separated that it didn't matter if you're a girl or not. It shouldn't have mattered with Jack either, but I was too young then I think, I couldn't think straight. I got scared, I withdrew. I've regretted it ever since, we were best friends and I killed that friendship. I didn't love him, not like I do you, but he was really important to me..." He snuggled in to me and kissed my neck. "Maybe I could have learned to love him if I'd been more mature and hadn't pushed him away, if he'd stayed instead of moving away. Back then he was not 'just' my best friend; he WAS my best friend, and I missed him so bad when he was no longer there. I couldn't have that happen to you too. I love you not beca use you're the second best thing to a 'real' girl Nate. I love you because I LOVE you." He kissed my neck, sucked at it. I knew that would leave a mark, but I didn't care. It felt great. "Don't worry Nate, I love you, and I love being near you. I won't shy away from you any more..."
"Okay Brazil", I said, feeling myself smile.
He giggled. "I feel it when you talk. Here, in my chest. It feels good."
"I feel you too", I replied, and I'm pretty sure we both meant it wasn't just the sensations from the vibrations of the other's voice we meant, but something deeper and somehow more profound. He kissed my neck again and then our solemn moment was over, we went back to being kids and started reading again. We met Sho and his chubby friend Tetsuro, then learned how Sho came to be bonded with the Guyver Unit; an alien entity transforming a human being into a warrior of awesome power. Brazil was transfixed; he had never read anything like it before, just regular western superhero comics. This was so different! We laughed together as Sho in his new Guyver form dispatched the evil Zoanoid Gregore; a shapeshifting human made with technology similar to the Guyver by the even eviler Chronos organization. I'd forgotten so much! It was like reading it for the first time all over again!
We started rifling through the stack to find issue two.
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