Logan

by Jeremy Myers

Chapter 9

The next few months we continued our fortnightly visits to the apartment, thanks to the generosity of both Miles and Rodney. Although Christmas was still a way off yet, Logan and I decided that rather than give each other presents we would combine our resources and buy the boys something special. I had a few ideas and one Saturday, about a month after Logan's return, I arranged for him to come in to meet Dean and at the same time look for something nice that Miles and Rod could share.

Logan hit it off with Dean straight away; they chatted on about a wide variety of subjects, some I didn't even know Logan had any clue about. Maybe I should talk more with my boyfriend. I was pleased though; it was good to get Dean's approval. I trusted him and liked him as a boss quite a lot and to see him engage with my Logan was excellent. We finished up picking out some very expensive wine glasses for the boys, we hoped they would like them; we knew they would make good use of them. Dean said he would wrap them up for us and I could take them home anytime, Christmas was still months away.

The school's season of Pygmalion started the Wednesday of the second week of September. We had a full house on every one of the three nights as teachers, students, families and friends came along to see our thespian talents. Logan, Rodney and Miles trotted along for opening night, which looking back now must have been bloody hilarious. Eliza Doolittle fluffed her lines three times and, as he was entering stage right, Henry Higgins tripped over a sandbag and went sprawling across the stage, almost exiting stage left.

Backstage it was chaos of course but we managed to get through it all. The next two nights went off well and Logan, together with all the inner sanctum, came along to watch on the last night. I think they were all disappointed no-one messed up after the opening night debacle. Logan hung around afterwards for the after season party and it was really nice to have him with me on a Friday night. His Mum picked him up a little before 12 and we had a fairly long chat. I liked Mrs Phillips, she always treated me well.

On the other hand, Mr Phillips was always curt with me and showed no desire to get to know his son's best friend. I had the feeling every time I saw him that he knew what I was doing with his son and it was all my fault. I spoke to Logan about this but he said I was being paranoid, how could his father know anything, it was OK; one day his Dad would accept me, whether he liked it or not. I didn't like my chances on that to be honest.

The weeks passed and us Year 11's started our exams in late October, prior to the Year 12's starting their finals. We would get our results before the term ended on Friday 6^th December. By November, Logan and I could return to our shower stall meetings with the weather warming up nicely in the last weeks of spring. Once our exams finished in early November we all began to unwind a little and the classes were less formal. Logan and I discussed the upcoming summer holidays, virtually 9 weeks to bum around and enjoy ourselves. I was really looking forward to it; it would allow us to return to the closeness that we both missed, both hungered for. It was not all about the sex, it was just being together, having the freedom to do what we wanted and progress our friendship, our relationship. And the sex.

We got our results at the start of our last week of term. Surprisingly, I had done reasonably well in most of my subjects with the exception of maths. I knew I was never going to be able to get high scores there and had warned my parents not to expect miracles. Logan's results were outstanding; he had excelled in all his subjects vindicating the sacrifice we had made throughout the year.

Then came the bombshell that would rip our summer apart. Mr Phillips was still not satisfied and Logan would be going to summer school starting just after New Year and finishing the week before we commenced our final year of high school.

Logan told me the first Saturday night of the holidays at Miles' place, having been told by his father only that morning. Logan was distraught; he was finally beginning to see that no matter how well he did, no matter how high his scores, he would likely never satisfy Ron Phillips. I could very easily have chucked a hissy fit but I knew it would not be useful to either Logan or me. So, I soothed him and calmed him as we sat on the side of our bed. I hugged him and held him tight saying it would be OK, that in the long run it would be worth it and it was only four weeks. Not even Rodney would be able to get Logan out for those four weeks. We would be separated again just when we thought that we could get even closer.

Logan and I made very good use of the freedom that we had though for those five or six weeks leading up to his enforced education. We continued meeting in the shower stall and recommenced our occasional nocturnal visits to the park. We were also still getting to the apartment and spent a great deal of time there through the days and nights, sitting around the pool, playing tennis and living the life of the rich and famous. Both Rod and Miles had finished university for the year so it was wonderful spending time with them and just relaxing.

Miles' younger brother, Sean, would join us too, he was the same age as Logan and me and went to one of the exclusive colleges just down the road. He idolised Miles and enjoyed being around us all. He was a nice looking guy with blondish hair the same as Miles and well-tanned, clear skin. His brown eyes looked wonderful on him and from what I could see he carried a pretty fair package behind his boardies. His bum was nice too but not to the same level as my boyfriend's. He was as straight as an arrow of course but, having grown up with a gay brother, was very comfortable around the four of us. We liked Sean and enjoyed his company most days. He never seemed to mind when Logan and I would fool around in the pool a little then disappear into our room to ease the growing pressure in our boardies. His girlfriend visited a couple of times but stopped when she realised we were all gay. Sean dropped her soon after.

This period in our relationship was, to me, one of great growth, even though it was only for a relatively short period. We were out of the confines of school, we could spend whole days and nights together and become even more familiar with one another. We so enjoyed each other's company and I was constantly on a high being with my Logan. We could totally be ourselves without fear and indulge in our vices whenever the mood took us. And boy, did the mood take us.

I was also beginning to understand my feelings for Logan. While they had always been intense, and I happily admitted that I adored him, I was beginning to suspect that love may be playing a part in it all. I still had trouble defining it and I could not be 100% sure. I thought it could also be lust but why then did I still feel the way I did when we were just together and doing ordinary guy stuff, ordinary things? Why did I feel so empty when he was not there? I had so many other friends and I enjoyed their company too but they never made me feel the same way as Logan. I tried analysing it but the answers would not come. I decided to let it burn and see where it would take me.

As for Logan, I knew he adored me and enjoyed being with me as much as I with him but he too seemed to be having difficulty in getting to any firm conclusion. We never talked of it, love was never mentioned other than in the words make love or lover. I wondered if perhaps, at 16, we were pushing the boundaries a little too much and we needed to mature that little bit more.

Christmas fell on a Wednesday in 1974 and we would be going our separate ways on the preceding Sunday. Miles, Rod, Logan and I went for dinner at a seafood restaurant on the coast at Cottesloe, between City Beach and Fremantle, and indulged ourselves in local lobster and prawns. It was probably the most decadent meal I had ever eaten. This was followed by a crème brulee, something new to me, and a desert I love to this day. After dinner we crossed the road to the beach and just sat on a large retaining wall, watching the world go by.

"Well, guys, Rod and I have something rather big to tell you."

"Ooo, exciting times Miles. Tell us, what news?"

"I've decided to come out to Mum and Dad, Logan, after Christmas. Then Miles and I are heading to Sydney to have a look for an apartment over there, we think that maybe we'll continue our uni there."

"Oh, really?" Logan was not a happy boy. Neither was I particularly. We all knew what it would mean.

"Look we know you guys depend on us for your nights out and everything, and we have considered that but we want to lead our lives in a more cosmopolitan environment. Perth is just too much of a backwater."

"When, when are you going?"

"Logan please, don't be upset, please. You know we love you, but we need to be us, you know?"

"When Rod?"

"Shit Logan. Miles and I will go over early January and maybe move in late February, before the first semester starts."

"Fuck." That was all he said before he jumped down off the retaining wall and stormed off.

"Sorry guys, I'll see to it, he's just upset I guess."

I jumped down off the wall and followed Logan, having to trot along to catch up to him. I caught up and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Hey Loges, c'mon man, we should be happy for them."

Logan stopped and turned, looking at me. I had never seen him like this, not even when we weren't friends did he look like this, not even when we had tussled with one another. There was a darkness about him, something that stank of fear, anger and hurt. I was kind of shocked.

"Fuck it J, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Every time we move one step forward some fucker comes along and screws us. Dad, Rod, Miles. Shits all of them. Fuck it Jeremy; and how can you be so fucking calm, they're fucking you too you know."

"Loges, calm down babe, people are looking." They certainly were. "Look, I know, it sucks Logan, but they have to live their lives the way they want mate. You know they've been really good to us and they don't deserve for you to go off on a stinky with them."

"Fuck off Jeremy, just fuck off will you, fuck you, fuck them, fuck everyone." He stood looking at me, defiant. I couldn't remember him ever telling me to fuck off, at least not since we'd been friends.

"You don't mean that Logan, please, that's enough babe, please."

He kept staring at me, ready to let loose some more verbal abuse, then suddenly, the darkness was gone. He was just a 16-year-old kid, hurting and angry. He sagged and I stepped in and held him, one hand behind his head, the other on his back. He started crying into my shoulder, quiet little sobs that barely shook him. I understood how he felt, his father had enforced martial law all year and just when he thought he would have some amount of freedom, summer school came up. Now, after a fantastic three weeks off and on at the apartment, that too would be taken away.

"It's okay Loges. We'll get through it just as we have always got through things thrown in our way. C'mon babe, It's alright." I continued talking softly to him, reassuring him, calming him. Slowly he settled and the crying stopped; he wrapped his arms around me holding me tight. Looking over his shoulder I could see Rod and Miles standing further down the beach, looking at us. They would have to wait a little longer; Logan took a deep breath, shuddering.

"I'm sorry Jeremy, I don't know why I said that, I'm so sorry." His head still lay against my shoulder and I held him tight. I didn't care who saw us, I just needed to comfort my man.

"Logan, my darling, it's okay, don't worry about it. We all go off sometimes. Mate, I know things look bleak, but we'll work something new out. We still have a couple of weeks' babe, let's make the most of it aye?"

"I know, you're right. And the boys didn't deserve that, neither did you. I'm so sorry."

"Enough babe, I know your sorry, don't worry any more about it. We're totally good. C'mon, you will need to apologise to the boys though."

"I know."

He looked up at me and I grabbed a couple of tissues out of my jean pocket and gently wiped his eyes and cheeks then told him to blow his nose. Once done we turned and headed back. We walked up to the guys, they looked a little worried.

"Everything okay?"

"I'm sorry Rod, sorry Miles, I had no right to be like that. You've both been so good to us and that's how I thank you. I'm really sorry."

"Dude, it's okay. We know what it means for you both, we know that we are making life harder for you both and for that we're truly sorry. But we need to move on, you know?"

"I know Miles, And I really hope it works out for you both. Can J and I come visit some time?"

"Of course dude, of course."

We headed back to the car, Logan with his arm around my shoulders. I really hoped I would never see that darkness again.

We got back to the apartment a little after 10.00pm and Logan and I went into our room and grabbed our present to Rod and Miles. Before I could do anything Logan grabbed and kissed me, his tongue manoeuvring into my mouth. Naturally I responded and could feel his hardness on my thigh as my dick woke up too. All too soon he pulled off.

"J, please forgive me, I lost control babe, I haven't done that for ages man, not since you and I started being friends."

"Nothing to forgive Loges. C'mon let's give the guys their present before they go to bed. Then we can come back here and enjoy each other. If you want to talk mate, then we'll talk, alright?"

"Thank you Jeremy. You really do mean the world to me you know."

"I know Logan, and you're my everything."

We kissed again and then headed out with our gift. The boys were sitting on the couch having a bit of a kiss and we coughed. They broke off and looked at us.

"Umm guys, you've both been really good to us this last year, we want you to have this, it will go right well in your new apartment."

"Thanks Logan, thanks Jeremy, you didn't have to, you know."

"It's something we wanted to do Rod, for you both from both of us. Merry Christmas."

"Thanks Logan, Jeremy. Merry Christmas to you both, too."

We all hugged each other then they unwrapped the box. Inside it were six Riedel Cabernet glasses, each in their own individual box. Miles whistled.

"Far out guys, this is too much, I mean they're bloody lovely and all honestly…"

"Just say you like them Miles, Rod?"

"They're perfect boys, thank you."

"Yes guys, thanks lots, we'll make good use of them for sure, won't we Rod?"

"Absolutely."

"And now, time for champagne, champagne for everyone."

"Wow, excellent idea Miles. Excellent." Logan headed off into the kitchen and grabbed some glasses while Miles went to the fridge and grabbed the champagne.

"Is he okay Jeremy?" Rod whispered.

"Yeah I think so, I think he wants to talk about it. I've never seen him like that, it was like a black veil came down on him."

"Yeah, I've seen it before, he gets to a point and then he kind of loses it. I've not seen it for a long time Jeremy. He's under a lot of stress if it's there."

"Yeah well, it's not been easy Rod, you know, you guys have been our only bright light for most of the year."

"I'm sorry Jeremy, we're making things more difficult I know."

"We'll survive, we'll get through it and survive."

The other two had finished pouring the champers and each carried two glasses to where we were standing near the fire place. Logan passed me one of his and I winked and smiled at him. He gave me his beautiful smile back. We all stood around in a rough circle, clinked our glasses together and toasted Christmas, friendship and Rod and Miles' new adventure. Both Logan and I had two glasses of the bubbly. We enjoyed it but by mid-way through the second glass I could feel the effects beginning to kick in. If I wanted to stay up and be with my lover that would do it, no more.

I finished my glass and took it into the kitchen. Logan followed and we both rinsed out our glasses and left them on the counter. Logan took my hand and, saying goodnight to the boys, led me into our bedroom, shutting the door behind us. Logan was still not himself, he was trying to be up and be his normal self but I knew him, there was still something off. He turned to me and we kissed, each of us groping, looking for our cocks behind the denim. I undid his fly and put my hand in, finding his hardness and squeezed and pulled it. He undid my shirt and took it off. I pulled my hand out of his jeans, undid the belt and button and then started on his shirt, all the while each of us kissing and touching.

We moved over to the bed and lay down, I finished removing Logan's shirt and he began undoing my belt, button and fly. He pulled my jeans down as far he could then started licking my cock, tonguing and kissing it as it offered him a single bead of essence. He licked it off, lifting his head and, as he did so, a pearlescent string from my slit to his tongue followed him then broke as he came down again on me. He started again, licking, kissing, squeezing my dick. I ran my fingers through his hair as he made love to my dick, then, he lifted off me and moved to my feet, removing my shoes and socks then removing my jeans totally before moving back up to pleasure my dick. I spread my legs slightly and his right hand rubbed my sack and gently massaged my balls before it moved to my hole, rubbing and pushing on it. I moaned in pleasure as he continued to work on my dick with his mouth and other hand.

My hips moved in harmony with Logan and I could feel the first signs of an impending orgasm.

"Loges, my turn babe."

He looked me in the eye as he continued pleasuring my cock and winked. I would have to wait. My hips continued to help Logan along as instinct took over and I tried thrusting deep into his mouth. He stopped bobbing up and down on me as my hips took over entirely, thrusting in and out of his mouth, his left hand holding my dick in place while his right fingered my hole. I could feel the surge of my climax begin and warned Logan.

He was ready and waiting as I shot three or four blasts of fresh cream out into his mouth, with more dribbling out as my climax abated. Logan took over with his mouth, sucking and licking, cleaning up all of my climax. He climbed up the bed and we kissed, sharing some of my load. His left hand still held my dick and he lightly stroked it as it remained half hard. I pulled off him and I moved down the bed, took off his shoes and socks then moved up and pulled his jeans down past his ankles and off. His cock lay at an angle across his stomach and moved involuntarily. Logan's left arm was by his side while his right lay folded cross his stomach.

He looked down at me as I moved up and took his hardness into my mouth, first licking, then kissing, then sucking his beautiful cock. My right hand controlled his dick while my left moved to his sack and lightly tickled it, he had grown some hair there over the last year, nothing excessive, just a few strays to keep things interesting. He was hanging very loose and his nuts moved around a little as I tended to his dick. I licked his entire length taking my time on his glans and his slit. My lips covered his knob as I went further down on him then engulfed him entirely. Logan's left hand came up and began stroking my hair and massaging my scalp as his hips moved slightly in time with my mouth actions. My left hand moved past his sack and onto his hole where my index finger massaged and rubbed the puckered skin. He moaned and whimpered and spread his legs as far as they could go in that position and my finger slowly disappeared into him, intensifying his moans.

I pulled it out then back in again and began to stimulate what Miles had revealed was a thing called a prostate gland. It was located perfectly for anal sex and was the magic spot to hit. I felt it and my finger rubbed over it giving Logan huge pleasure and he moaned accordingly. My tongue, mouth and lips continued to pleasure his dick while my finger pleasured him; I considered putting another finger in but it was dry and the KY was still in Logan's bag. Anyway, Logan was showing all the signs of an impending climax as he tried pushing his cock further into my mouth. Like him, I allowed him to finish off, his hips moving steadily as my right hand maintained a circle of finger and thumb at the base.

"Damn J, oh gods, sorry, oh shit."

He exploded into me, massive amounts of cum, at least six shots down my throat, over my tongue and out the side of my mouth. Never had he shot so much, at least not into my mouth, and despite swallowing I lost the battle as more dribbled out. It was like he was releasing all the stress, all the hurt and all the pain in one mammoth orgasm. It was sensational and I really wished I had seen it rather than felt it. The flow slowed and I took a deep breath as I continued mop up operations, my finger still buried deep inside of my man. As he became sensitive I pulled out my finger and took my mouth off his slowly deflating dick. I looked up at him as I finished and he was looking down at me. He smiled, fuck I love that smile, and I moved up the bed, took him into my arms and kissed him.

As he recovered from what must have been one sensational orgasm he wrapped his arms around me and buried his head into my left shoulder, nestling in and kissing me there. My left arm came around his neck and my hand stroked his hair. I kissed the top of his head, enjoying the feel of my man next to me. Damn I adored him.

After a while he moved and lay flat beside me, his head and shoulders resting on two pillows. I moved further onto my left side and my right arm came across his chest and fondled his left nipple as his dick dozed away. My own dick was still half hard and rested slightly on Logan's upper thigh.

"J, I know you said it was okay mate, but I feel awful about tonight babe, I really am so sorry, I ruined it, I ruined your night."

"No, no you didn't Loges, no way. I meant it, it's okay, we all go dark sometimes."

"Dark? Did you see it? The darkness J, did you see it?"

"It's an illusion Logan, you were angry, hurt, frustrated, I understand babe, I really do."

"You saw it. Rod's told me it's like a darkness comes over me. I thought I had passed it, I thought it was gone for good when you came into my life."

"Logan, it's not real, it's just temper. Okay, it feels like a darkness, but it's still you, it's still the man I adore, and it left quicker than it arrived. Mate, you have been building up to something like that for weeks, maybe more. All the frustration, the restrictions, the study, the exams, summer fucking school, fuck mate. You need to control it and to control it you need to let go more often, small little hisses rather than one big fucking explosion, you know?"

" You think that will do it J?"

"Yes mate, I do, stop bottling things up babe, let go occasionally. That way that effing darkness won't stand a chance."

"Thank you J, I'll try. Did you say you adore me?"

"My word I did, and I do."

"I adore you too Jeremy, I don't know what I would do if you were taken from me."

"Never going to happen my beautiful man, always and forever, remember?"

"Always and forever my dearest J."

He rolled over and we lay looking at one another, his left hand stroking my cheek and face, his thumb running along my lips as I kissed it. His right hand held my dick and he slowly stroked it to hardness. My right hand fondled his left nipple as my left played gently with his growing dick. As our hardness grew Logan climbed over me and lay on me as I spread my legs allowing his crotch to slot in and our dicks and balls meshed together as we began yet another prolonged night of sweet, joyous sex.

We all went our separate ways the next afternoon. We would be back at the apartment on the 28^th allowing us all to fulfil our family obligations over Christmas. Then, on the 29 th, the four of us, along with Sean and his new girlfriend, would go out for dinner to celebrate Logan's and my first anniversary.

It should have been a joyous occasion, but it wasn't. Rodney had told his parents of his sexual orientation, of Miles and his plans to move to Sydney, two days after Christmas. His father had kicked him out there and then, barely allowing him time to pack up his stuff. It was awful and both Logan and I felt for him. He moved in with Miles straight away. I thought things would be cancelled but never the less, Miles picked up Logan and me just after lunch on the 28^th as arranged and we headed to the apartment, the mood pretty sombre. They stuck pretty much to themselves as Miles tried to keep Rodney on the up.

Logan and I were alone sitting on a cushioned bench by the pool later that afternoon, discussing the likely consequences.

"Loges, your Dad, he thinks pretty highly of Rod, I mean he let Rod take you out whenever. What now do you reckon?"

"Shit, J. I don't know, I think we're screwed, you and me. As soon as Dad finds out, and it could happen anytime now, that will be it. No more apartment, no more Rodney, no more Miles. Dad won't tolerate it."

"If he won't tolerate his nephew, what of his son?"

"He'll have no choice J. I'm not ready yet to tell my parents about me, about us. But I know as soon as he finds out about Rod, well, he'll suspect me, suspect you."

"He already suspects me Logan. He barely registers me when I see him."

"I know babe, I've been a bit blind haven't I?"

"It's okay Loges; we all want to see the best in our parents. What we have to do is keep him happy, work around the restrictions, because if we don't then we will be 100% screwed."

"You're right of course J. We'll find a way won't we? For us to be together?"

"Most certainly, my man. Whatever it takes." We went quiet for a while contemplating the consequences of these new developments. I needed to know one thing more.

"Loges? How are you holding up babe? Are you okay, you managing this alright?"

He had been gazing into space, thinking I guess, and came back looking at me from behind the Ray-Bans. He took them off so I could see his wonderful blue eyes.

"I know, J. I know why you ask and thank you for caring. I thought about what you said a lot, after last week's performance, and I've decided to make some changes to how I deal with things. No more bottling stuff up, no more waiting until it all gets too much. If I have learnt one thing from you my darling J, it's how to adjust and be strong, how to know when to let things go and when to make a stand. You were right, I needed to let loose rather than keep it in and you know what? It works babe, I don't feel so, I don't know, tight, any more. This thing with Rod, the family disowning him, it upsets me, but I've allowed it to upset me instead of leaving it to fester. You showed me that J, you showed me the way to be a better me, you know?"

I didn't actually know what to say to any of that so just placed my right hand on his knee, leant across and kissed him.